8 September 2021 : charlottesville city council voted to remove the statue in november 2019 during a meeting with descendants of sacagawea as well as representatives from local indigenous groups
3 September 2021 : a friday night treat pic.twitter.com/Usp6l7wpNy
23 August 2021 : sorry, reality is outpacing joke production 😢
23 August 2021 : https://twitter.com/gun_toucher/status/1429783048971853829?s=20
17 August 2021 : lol every time it gets worse i think it can't possibly get worse
16 August 2021 : this is a non-inclusive list of examples, not an exhaustive list.
15 August 2021 : best as i can tell, he's never been to PRISON. he's been to jail plenty of times for a variety of possession charges, but nothing serious enough to put him in prison. a guy with that many petty charges knows the difference between jail & prison, he's just lying.
14 August 2021 : guys, i think sometimes what happens in the locker room needs to stay in there. this isn't the kind of thing ladies need to know about. pic.twitter.com/wKy1zVkjfG
9 August 2021 : john brown wins again https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1291153707724345346?s=21
9 August 2021 : correct
28 July 2021 : and even if you can get a prescription, just FILLING it is a massive ordeal. gotta take a physical, paper prescription in, in-person, get your ID scanned, and pharmacies are often OUT because the DEA caps how much they can order.
27 July 2021 : i think people forget the definition extends past killing - mass sterilizations, like residential schools, are well within the bounds of what is genocide. pic.twitter.com/9CPA8G0LnS
26 July 2021 : advanced smol bean linguististics zoomers, doomers, and elder millennials: reaching your target audience with relatable depression memes shitposting for audience growth
21 July 2021 : no, they respect knowledge
21 July 2021 : worst $75 i ever spent!! but it was 4th of july and i couldn't get ahold of any vets. but he pooped them all out like a little champion. the boy loves to eat. thank god he didn't crunch the pits, though.
21 July 2021 : buck has given us some real scares, like the time he ate 30 cherry pits & the lady at dog poison control was like, ok well he is either going to die immediately or he'll just poop them out, probably
20 July 2021 : oh no this as confusing as it is boring.
15 July 2021 : i don't know, maybe we should not have let the sheriff's nephew write this document and chair this board
14 July 2021 : it would be so cute if a car was playin’ the harp. just a cat harpin’
12 July 2021 : oh no, i'm so sorry
10 July 2021 : i think the removal company is shooting their own promo footage 😂
10 July 2021 : he lost again
10 July 2021 : anyway, it doesn’t work anymore. they broke it. it’s small and silly but every now and again i remember why and i’m a little sad about it.
10 July 2021 : when i got arrested last year, after processing, they said i was free to go. but instead, they put me in a cell without explanation. i thought it would just be a minute so i did my little counting game to stay calm. i got to zero at least ten times before i lost count.
10 July 2021 : for many years, my go-to method of self soothing, of boring my brain out of an anxiety spiral, was counting backwards from 1000 by 3s in german. it’s just taxing enough that i can’t think about anything else but it’s simple enough to sort of zone out.
10 July 2021 : why won’t my brain let me have a little sleep, as a treat
10 July 2021 : blue loves don’t matter because blue lives aren’t real https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1384723987218018304?s=21
1 July 2021 : one of barack obama’s last acts as the president of the united states was making sure we got an authentic cuban backdrop for the opening scene of the eighth installment of the fast and the furious, hell yeah pic.twitter.com/hPtlgfofvU
24 June 2021 : it’s just so silly on it’s face. these guys aren’t even pretending to have any kind of ideological consistency or internal logic or rhetorical coherence from day to day. is free speech good or bad? is the constitution your favorite thing or not?
22 June 2021 : peacocks, too! a surprising number of animals make a noise like a lady being killed in the woods. they should teach this in school.
22 June 2021 : full disclosure: i have been frightened at night by animal screams that turned out to be normal fox noises.
22 June 2021 : SNORT IN THE DARKNESS
21 June 2021 : they were probably just guys who were roommates and held hands when they were scared
18 June 2021 : why wish to be the ceo when the genie could make you the actual burger king?
17 June 2021 : @rhinosoros @ActNormalOrElse i'm barely awake at that time
17 June 2021 : this is madness
16 June 2021 : like, honestly please don't get there first. most of the time no one wanted you to come at all - who asked for cops at this fire. what you are gonna do, shoot it?
16 June 2021 : you shouldn’t feel shitty about it! people want to help & it’s good to let them.
3 June 2021 : ohhhh now there’s an interesting historical nugget, i bet there are some OFFICER DOWN moments from that period.
3 June 2021 : lmao the site has a truly incredible number of “cop got shot by an entire family during an eviction prior to 1940” stories. it was hard to choose.
31 May 2021 : i met henry winkler at a children’s literacy conference back when i was working in that field. apparently he writes kids books.
31 May 2021 : there were some hanging out on top of my car the other day. what does it mean.
31 May 2021 : like a raccoon
27 May 2021 : either way, his call
27 May 2021 : the dogs are so disinterested, it’s suspicious. like they are actively choosing not to get involved.
27 May 2021 : that’s T’s job
26 May 2021 : sherry kraft says it is important to help the community understand the equity issues at stake in not modernizing our schools (remember hold old our schools are?) https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1397652759919349762?s=20
26 May 2021 : checking for badgers in every burrow
22 May 2021 : i would not flatter him by assuming he could cuckold anyone.
16 May 2021 : i can’t believe i got a pope fact wrong, this is so embarrassing
16 May 2021 : it’s pope julius II and now we’re having a fight
16 May 2021 : i’ve been watching that show about the borgias with my partner, who happens to have an encyclopedic knowledge of catholic history. we’ve invented a new genre of spoilers. oh, cardinal della rovere eventually becomes pope pius II? well thanks, i guess he doesn’t die of poisoning
14 May 2021 : it’s just not a bbq town!!!
14 May 2021 : 😭😭😭😭
14 May 2021 : i am from virginia beach. i do not understand why it is on this map.
12 May 2021 : oh no
9 May 2021 : i’m not a lawyer, but i think if you’re actively working through the process of a bankruptcy, you’re not supposed to hide or destroy your assets. https://twitter.com/jackmolay/status/1391328448904404992
9 May 2021 : buck chose to sit alone on pillow mountain
8 May 2021 : what does it say pic.twitter.com/UgBBzOehEt
8 May 2021 : i can always tell.
6 May 2021 : i screamed
6 May 2021 : oh that's just the eye of sauron
4 May 2021 : i can’t wait to climb on top of this gigantic horned beast
4 May 2021 : people merely have questions about ox riding!
3 May 2021 : CAN I RIDE AN OX?! i'm vaccinated now!!!!!
29 April 2021 : i have celiac disease, so that limits his adventurous i can be
27 April 2021 : unclear to me why bill mendez is still being referred to as the vice chair, as he agreed to resign from the role & cede it to nancy carpenter back in february. https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1360041670067302402?s=20
22 April 2021 : lol, got too mad to have consistent verb tense. "getting mad online" aka reading old court transcripts
22 April 2021 : drafting a strongly worded letter to an assistant us attorney based on something rude he said about me a year ago in a hearing in a case i wasn't even party to
22 April 2021 : search my own name on courtlistener and immediately became enraged lol
22 April 2021 : wayne says there isn't really much "immobilization" going on in charlottesville - no one is doing booting right now. (it was discussed several times in 2019 & 2020, but ultimately the idea was dropped) https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1184894615163457537?s=20 pic.twitter.com/9RzvOJtMAQ
21 April 2021 : it's a video about his sikh heritage
20 April 2021 : any minute now, allegedly
19 April 2021 : wow you literally can’t spell it without him.
19 April 2021 : he’ll be back
18 April 2021 : oh wow yes
12 April 2021 : sir are you lost
12 April 2021 : ... what are you talking about
11 April 2021 : WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
11 April 2021 : i'm calling the disney police
11 April 2021 : what does this even mean pic.twitter.com/bRJrq0hpro
11 April 2021 : in the interest of fairness, here are some that are deeply upsetting to me pic.twitter.com/oM7mjU9wbk
11 April 2021 : the thin blue line mickey stuff is the only thing in the world that makes me appreciate disney's militant pursuit of shutting down unauthorized use of their IP. please mr disney, sue every cop's wife.
11 April 2021 : this is just so deeply insane. the prison bars. the handcuffs on the cross. pic.twitter.com/oRDbUcmVzd
11 April 2021 : what about this one, it's for prison guards pic.twitter.com/4y26nsGQpa
11 April 2021 : here's a tip for dealing with the devil pic.twitter.com/Px3m8ParEQ
11 April 2021 : really he should be thanking me
11 April 2021 : i am fortifying your soul or whatever. you are spiritually strong to withstand the blasphemy cannon i am bombarding you with.
10 April 2021 : on enrique obviously is. he has a long history of that kind of behavior. but he isn’t the only one & i’m looking at the head of virginia’s chapter and something just doesn’t add up
7 April 2021 : i mean you can wear whatever you want. get a hair shirt, go all out.
6 April 2021 : i get to find 1000 cursed and upsetting images for every 1 minion cock & ball torture cartoon he has made me look at
6 April 2021 : i am governed by no convention
6 April 2021 : ok i'll just text them to you
6 April 2021 : holy shit
6 April 2021 : mom come pick me up, i'm scared pic.twitter.com/p6JjwSJovE
6 April 2021 : please help me, my eyes are bleeding pic.twitter.com/Nr95v3Uy9Z
6 April 2021 : it is an aggressively bad vibe
6 April 2021 : i can't find the trifecta
6 April 2021 : i'm sorry, i'm sorry, trying to delete pic.twitter.com/yDNnuNgdTx
6 April 2021 : i'm having a brain hemorrhage pic.twitter.com/GvRGZn2p0V
6 April 2021 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpGVyHyjI_A&ab_channel=MrDron059
4 April 2021 : truly unfeasible
3 April 2021 : what are "library people," josh?
2 April 2021 : T is vaccinated now and i’m getting mine soon!
1 April 2021 : see i knew it was mostly about the 'fits
1 April 2021 : i've seen ones like this on the east coast. i thought it was a real giant weird pine tree and @tgracchus1848 told me it was a cell phone tower and i didn't believe him, got mad, then we got closer to it and it turned out it was not a real tree and i'm still mad. pic.twitter.com/X6AQruNRda
1 April 2021 : you would think i would've absorbed some of this knowledge purely by like aural osmosis or something by now but you would be wrong. i can't tell you the difference between any kinds of monks. franciscans? carthusians? dominicans? idk man, different robes i bet.
1 April 2021 : no one knows
1 April 2021 : yes and he’s SENSITIVE and KNOWS SIGN LANGUAGE
1 April 2021 : we love the big gorilla boy!!!
1 April 2021 : no unfortunately it’s warm
1 April 2021 : oh wow new movies keep emerging from the pocket universe where they live until it’s my time to view them
1 April 2021 : omg you don’t know?
1 April 2021 : it’s so fucking funny, it’s worth the $20 imo
28 March 2021 : doesnt the book say god literally created the world with his word
26 March 2021 : je suis the big boat
25 March 2021 : even worse 😥
24 March 2021 : youtube guy
24 March 2021 : 53st
23 March 2021 : it will only encourage them
23 March 2021 : it’s happening
23 March 2021 : "there are more people in puerto rico than wyoming, they deserve senators!" ok, but there are also more people in puerto rico than there are in lithuania, so maybe they deserve more than some dem pipe dream about the US senate.
23 March 2021 : right, my point is that his point about the island being bigger than many states is a silly argument for statehood when it's... also more populous than many independent nations.
23 March 2021 : a brave and noble pursuit
22 March 2021 : that’s so good
22 March 2021 : like what is she claiming they did? i am actually asking
21 March 2021 : this is from the ancient texts
21 March 2021 : i know big time comic book nerds with an encyclopedic knowledge of every alternative timeline & multiverse think these movies are made special for them but i have to tell you: they make them for idiots like me. i'm the target audience. i'll never be mad & i'll never stop watching
20 March 2021 : yeah right, mr snyder, i am perceiving this and you absolutely cannot stop me pic.twitter.com/2TnxqQ86Pn
19 March 2021 : “you” being the virginia state legislature
19 March 2021 : oh it’s bad in every language
18 March 2021 : todd says he reached out to the new city manager, chip boyles, and chip told him he wanted to hire a new HR director first before these job postings went up. (the city does not have an HR director - the one we hired last year quit before he even started) https://dailyprogress.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/newly-hired-charlottesville-nds-director-bails-for-job-in-prince-william-hr-director-leaving/article_a9147ea8-2a95-11eb-b0a2-d343a633661b.html
18 March 2021 : no!!!
17 March 2021 : ok this makes it sound like i think the english should've won and that's slander
17 March 2021 : your lawyers must be clinking champagne glasses over their briefs in progress right now
17 March 2021 : she blocked us all for not taking the referendum process seriously enough
16 March 2021 : ok please leave us alone
16 March 2021 : who is being sarcastic?
16 March 2021 : an plainclothes cop hit me in a crowd once and if i’d swung back on this total stranger who hit me first, they’d have gotten me for assault on an officer 🤡
16 March 2021 : personally, i voted yes
16 March 2021 : ok well it’s cheaper anyway
16 March 2021 : the posting cure
16 March 2021 : i’m posting for my health
16 March 2021 : posting is healthier
15 March 2021 : the gun is what gives it away. of course some guy on the beach in florida was ready to shoot a shark.
15 March 2021 : florida, which is just america’s australia https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=125969&page=1
14 March 2021 : and the vaccine data shows white people getting vaccinated 2x as fast per capita 🤡
13 March 2021 : i thought the point was to realize you never needed it at all or whatever
11 March 2021 : she tried to run several people over last summer
10 March 2021 : it's that simple
10 March 2021 : @tgracchus1848 pic.twitter.com/ZL2T9aYIBV
10 March 2021 : the apocryphal texts the establishment doesn’t want you to see
9 March 2021 : lmao
9 March 2021 : ALLEGED pedophile & known associate of multiple convicted pedophiles, please. accuracy is important.
7 March 2021 : he DOES look really soft, right?!
7 March 2021 : thank you
6 March 2021 : hamilton’s solution to the confederate monument issue is to pay artists to “represent the diversity in our country” by making more monuments. the next speaker is kurt santini who is apparently running for governor (and is wearing a trump hoodie) pic.twitter.com/2eAMMYvQFi
6 March 2021 : i voted bonsai
5 March 2021 : sadly that kinda place is unlikely to meet modern standards for avoiding gluten cross contamination.
5 March 2021 : virginia dems got the trifecta for the first time since the early 90s and immediately legalized fucking. at least they got one thing right.
5 March 2021 : they decriminalized jaywalking in virginia, so have at it
4 March 2021 : ok but everyone knows you’ve never been A TRUCK
4 March 2021 : you'd have way more customer horror stories if you'd waited tables, i feel like
3 March 2021 : pretty messed up they even had a budget work session today, as it's a city holiday! it's liberation & freedom day, commemorating the arrival of union troops in charlottesville on march 3, 1865, bringing emancipation to over 14,000 people enslaved here.
3 March 2021 : i missed the beginning of the budget work session because i had an appointment and apparently there's no way to watch earlier portions of a still-live broadcast so i guess i just have to wait for the recording to go up to find out about this meeting, sorry.
3 March 2021 : oh my god this guy surely exists and now i have to find him
1 March 2021 : bees make the honey, i don’t think you could learn that.
1 March 2021 : peak performance pic.twitter.com/7QXI9c3k2p
1 March 2021 : i’m upset
28 February 2021 : when i was a teenager, i did not know what kind of jeans people in their 30s were wearing. it's silly to think i should care what teens think of my pants now.
28 February 2021 : he’s astrally projecting to the breakfast table for some marmite on toast or whatever the fuck
28 February 2021 : star trek is great comfort tv once you get into it.
28 February 2021 : a uniquely puerto rican monster
27 February 2021 : do NOT tease me like this
26 February 2021 : a classic move.
26 February 2021 : RT @brooklynsupper: I’m spending my day commenting on the Virginia History and Social Studies curriculum, and oh boy, there’s some horrifyi…
25 February 2021 : i’ve never left ikea without seeing spots
25 February 2021 : godDAMNit i wanna spend 6 hours inside ikea, culminating in a low blood sugar crisis and crying in the parking lot because the box won’t fit in my fucking car
25 February 2021 : god i miss going to a store just to have something to do. sprinting through the store holding my breath looking for a specific item just isn’t the same.
25 February 2021 : i wore two masks and spent 20 minutes inside home goods today, it was amazing
25 February 2021 : mr vegetarian for two weeks so far is ready to outlaw meat
25 February 2021 : i can't believe she admitted it
21 February 2021 : expand on this
21 February 2021 : very artful corndog, enjoy
20 February 2021 : lmao
19 February 2021 : my partner is a devout catholic who prays the liturgy of the hours every day! tearing up that book had nothing to do with christ.
19 February 2021 : i think god can forgive me for destroying an idol, even when that idol is innocent in other hands.
19 February 2021 : i burnt an object given to me by a rabid racist who spends most of her spare time shrieking at people outside abortion clinics. i was holding up each page and asking her if that’s the one that says god wants her to hurt people & burning them each in turn.
19 February 2021 : developing a whole line of lifestyle brands around that thing i was involved in for less time than it takes to to get a high school degree
19 February 2021 : why is it ALWAYS guys who served exactly 4 years in the marines, though?
19 February 2021 : sorry all these chud veterans make you all look so bad all the time
18 February 2021 : listening to hillary's podcast as a modern take on mortification of the flesh
18 February 2021 : i know this is gonna be good because @tgracchus1848 got so mad about something he read that he threw the book down and went outside to cool off. https://twitter.com/oliviakatbi/status/1347709605686636544
18 February 2021 : it's the sad truth.
18 February 2021 : yeah maybe no framed pictures of hitler in the house.
18 February 2021 : i could print your whole hate pic collection at the little photo store on nice photo paper for like a quarter apiece. we can make this dream a reality, no lottery win required.
18 February 2021 : i mean we can get some frames from tj maxx and put these up in your office if you really want
17 February 2021 : i am just getting up now and i am about to make my delicious morning drink and none of you can make me feel bad about that
17 February 2021 : i’m being persecuted
17 February 2021 : no it’s good
17 February 2021 : @kimlehmkuhl @boriboriboricua @foiaforlastname @MacheteyMate @tgracchus1848 no, you dissolve it in just a little warm water first and then add the almond milk. it works perfectly.
17 February 2021 : i’m telling god
17 February 2021 : are you saying those desert monks are wrong?
17 February 2021 : (i can't actually find the proposed revised ordinance in the agenda packet? it looks like it might be missing? the city market sublease docs seem to be in its place in the packet instead of where those docs should be, within the consent agenda?)
17 February 2021 : and choking a female partner is one of the most powerful predictors of a man who will eventually kill a woman. it’s a very violent act that speaks volume about the capacity for violence the strangler has.
17 February 2021 : “a domestic violence incident involving his ex wife” is such a weird way to say he choked her out in front of their young children pic.twitter.com/UAR6M0nswl
16 February 2021 : at least we will never be as cringe as the groypers
16 February 2021 : one thing i can promise you is i will never be cool
13 February 2021 : well shit, trump stipulated via counsel that he did say “well kevin, i guess these people are more upset about the election than you are” to kevin mccarthy during the capitol siege.
13 February 2021 : oh you’d look great in these little overalls and pointy purple shoes, brb i’m shopping
13 February 2021 : beyoncé and i actually have the same birthday
12 February 2021 : chris, being a communist is cool and good; being an antisemite is and dangerous and bad. this is pretty straightforward stuff.
11 February 2021 : carbohydrates rule everything around me
11 February 2021 : so you’re saying you want instant coffee from now on?
11 February 2021 : the monks said i'm right pic.twitter.com/GtpNjvKkRd
10 February 2021 : nice bear
10 February 2021 : how many bears you got saved? it’s mostly monkeys and bigfoots isn’t it?
10 February 2021 : law dog is truly a chaotic follower. every time i visit the profile of someone horrible, he’s my only mutual who follows them. no discernment whatsoever.
7 February 2021 : ok but the second half of the tweet is accurate
7 February 2021 : i know why you think this is funny but it really is better than white noise
6 February 2021 : absolutely right, t. NO ONE should make LOTS of parody accounts of the state senator. that would be IMMATURE and WRONG.
6 February 2021 : if you thought dunking on the fake amanda chase for a silly tweet about marijuana was fun, enjoy dunking on the real amanda chase for threatening to put people in jail for making fun of her online https://twitter.com/AmandaChaseVA/status/1358136548856893443
6 February 2021 : he’s just like his bitcoin billions: not real
6 February 2021 : someone spent D A Y S trying to cancel me for pointing out that if you search for the word fireworks in the same timeframe in literally any summer of any year, people are complaining about unusual/inappropriate fireworks
6 February 2021 : this person does not exist
6 February 2021 : this is a thing? other people experience this?
6 February 2021 : i knew ds9 would speak to you
6 February 2021 : if i lived a short drive away from more than one failed attempt to create a white ethnostate, i would not throw stones at the south
5 February 2021 : no evening prayers? fucking amateur.
5 February 2021 : i see. pic.twitter.com/19h1Xi9DPh
5 February 2021 : i need these terms defined so i can figure out which guy you are
4 February 2021 : enough is enough, @stripe . how many campaigns on @givesendgo do we have to show you where your company is directly facilitating funding right wing violence will it take for you to end your relationship with the site? it’s not negligence anymore - it’s complicity. https://twitter.com/antifashgordon/status/1357421343311097856
4 February 2021 : now jordan, it may look like T posted the tweet first but that’s only because i texted him the post being made fun of here
4 February 2021 : are you accusing me of stealing tweets? because i WILL call my lawyer.
3 February 2021 : i suppose proximity matters, too.
3 February 2021 : he's dunking supplies into cuba over the air border
3 February 2021 : didn't mussolini jr block you?
3 February 2021 : omg yes
3 February 2021 : i think there's a waiting list!!!
3 February 2021 : no
3 February 2021 : i have a lot of technical questions about gremlin rules
3 February 2021 : @BriscoeCain is such a little crybaby, he absolutely reported this himself
3 February 2021 : hahahahahahahahaha
3 February 2021 : I TOLD YOU THIS WEEKS AGO AND YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD START DOUBLE MASKING AT WORK
3 February 2021 : he looks amazing in purple, it suits him perfectly
3 February 2021 : people always think otto is a girl because i make him wear purple and then they are VERY SORRY when they discover he is a boy but here's the thing: he doesn't care
3 February 2021 : unfortunately i think he is right
3 February 2021 : maybe the senate chambers have toxic mold
2 February 2021 : anyway, it's also a little weird none of the co-conspirators in this case have been charged. based on the twitter account IDs shown in the mackey complaint, one of those co-conspirators appears to be baked alaska 👀 https://twitter.com/lilsarg/status/1354493233800294400?s=20
2 February 2021 : look i was still waking up ok. i was close.
2 February 2021 : i was not fully awake when @tgracchus1848 told me “his excellency was on WWE last night” and for some reason i thought he meant the pope. i was fully prepared to believe the pope was hosting wrestling. https://twitter.com/wwe/status/1356429104011182082
31 January 2021 : god i wish
30 January 2021 : ok fistfights then, no deadly weapons
30 January 2021 : i hate him
30 January 2021 : maybe he just spelled it wrong pic.twitter.com/ULRHqptkOD
30 January 2021 : c’monnnnnn let’s bring back dueling
29 January 2021 : it was awful
29 January 2021 : i loved it
29 January 2021 : look, it’s on you to propose an alternative. come up with some good, possibly blasphemous, puns about dogs & the liturgical calendar.
29 January 2021 : it sounds like it should be the 70th day of the year so i’m calling bullshit on whatever this is
29 January 2021 : yeah for sure, i know that one.
29 January 2021 : i'm gonna make you watch CATS again
29 January 2021 : ah yes, the tutti frutti commandments
29 January 2021 : there needs to be an investigation about what’s going on at that monastery
29 January 2021 : it still feels weird to me that priests are allowed on here
28 January 2021 : he's ready to do business pic.twitter.com/BmbINFauS9
28 January 2021 : oh my god how cute would they be in little visors!!!
28 January 2021 : i will NEVER learn a single fact about "stocks" and no one can make me
28 January 2021 : it’s the rude reply leavers who are wrong
27 January 2021 : oh now they're doing necromancy
27 January 2021 : i really can't parse it. i tried.
26 January 2021 : hell yeah let’s never learn any lessons and keep doing the same dumb shit forever until we die
26 January 2021 : i liked when he drove off in a huff & the huge crowd cheered at his misfortune 😀
26 January 2021 : no i’m the bigfoot and T is the little girl.
26 January 2021 : this is such a beautiful picture of us
25 January 2021 : just posting straight from the heart, truly beautiful stuff
25 January 2021 : probably about half of your posts are absolutely incomprehensible to me
25 January 2021 : i am also broken and do not wish to be grabbed. solitary with this costco cart. pic.twitter.com/SMNhHHKlFl
25 January 2021 : lmao, got ‘im
25 January 2021 : that’s why i mostly just post without reading all the other posts.
25 January 2021 : don’t speak that evil into this world
25 January 2021 : thank you for acknowledging you were wrong to criticize the thing that i enjoy
25 January 2021 : and yet that is what you are doing to me right now on twitter dot com.
24 January 2021 : public proposals make my skin crawl. horrible.
24 January 2021 : is that where you picked that up? you do always say that
23 January 2021 : this is number 1 and you know it https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1120156573421142016?s=20
23 January 2021 : it’s so visitors can help themselves to the candy drawer, robert.
23 January 2021 : many people have been saying this since before the first window broke
22 January 2021 : the directions said a photo that ISN’T of you
22 January 2021 : was it an homage? or is there a particular magic to the idea of a woman measuring 36-24-36?
22 January 2021 : i looked up the lyrics to this song to help make a joke about the woman filing a petition with the zoning board of appeals about her nonconforming deck but what i’ve discovered is this song uses the same measurements as sir mixalot did in his butt song. fascinating.
18 January 2021 : if i see you having a “reasonable conversation” and “finding common ground” with a man who has threatened to murder or rape me, i’m crossing you off my list of comrades, it’s that simple! 🙂
17 January 2021 : i’m still working through the clearest way to articulate this, but to me there is a fundamental difference between identifying threats to our communities as a form of self defense and just doing the feds’ homework for them.
12 January 2021 : no seriously what does that say, i can't tell
11 January 2021 : usually if someone sounds absolutely furious at my personal enemies, it’s T
11 January 2021 : ❤️
11 January 2021 : NO
11 January 2021 : what does this mean
11 January 2021 : something something e girl and her podcaster boyfriend
10 January 2021 : 🙃
8 January 2021 : oh i forgot to tell you about the guy i saw running with the proud boys last month, screaming FUCK ANTIFA & carrying the black & white puerto rican flag. i did a hard double take.
8 January 2021 : otto has some really good advice for me that unfortunately will not work for you: stop looking at the internet and look at otto pic.twitter.com/PPeoFdcEw3
8 January 2021 : that’s what it’s for
8 January 2021 : is that your alt
7 January 2021 : ok but i do need my glasses
4 January 2021 : we know for a fact these specific hotels have thousands of rooms specifically booked by people who need their reservations canceled. i promise you months of work has gone into this that far exceeds your ability to pass judgement after skimming a tweet.
3 January 2021 : this is @tgracchus1848 & the boys once everyone's vaccinated
2 January 2021 : this would probably work
2 January 2021 : just let the discourse pass you by or it'll wrinkle your brain up something awful
2 January 2021 : oh god but there are no bushes in this picture
2 January 2021 : lmao all true
2 January 2021 : but my relationship with that particular podcast host is not parasocial
2 January 2021 : i would endure a subtitled film for this
2 January 2021 : it took years to recover from that one
1 January 2021 : i think c5% but i'm less confident on this one than usual
26 December 2020 : you can't log off - you're a podcaster now.
26 December 2020 : wow hurtful
26 December 2020 : sure but he's tall *to me* and that's what counts
26 December 2020 : ❤️
26 December 2020 : special agent tenderqueer logging on, ready to divide the left
26 December 2020 : here’s a video of baby otto fighting his reflection pic.twitter.com/0uP1xmxhx0
23 December 2020 : https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/8472353241?s=21
23 December 2020 : fuck
23 December 2020 : thank you in advance
22 December 2020 : which is still very, very bad and much worse than it is now
22 December 2020 : weekly totals statewide, so like... 14,000 cases a day.
22 December 2020 : not great!!!!!
17 December 2020 : wow you’re a big time star trek boy now, i’m so proud
17 December 2020 : it would certainly make whatever problems it couldn’t solve much more bearable.
17 December 2020 : damn someone should tell them about delivery
17 December 2020 : oh i will take the best, most detailed notes at the billionaire tribunals
16 December 2020 : i was ABOUT to say i can’t be embarrassed but actually i think this might get to me
16 December 2020 : gonna get you a purple joker suit and make you wear it when you explain stuff
16 December 2020 : i think it's implied
16 December 2020 : the gender reveal party this couple throws in early 2022 will end civilization as we know it
16 December 2020 : happy birthday little man!!!!
15 December 2020 : they meant "majority of voters (on the bill)" & they only polled congress
14 December 2020 : oh no i’m doing all the don’ts and none of the do’s pic.twitter.com/eUc2o3e9yi
14 December 2020 : well sure those are the two options because this stack of DVDs is every dude's favorite movies.
13 December 2020 : RT @itsa_talia: Per reporting of police radio traffic, a cop was stabbed by a Proud Boy.
10 December 2020 : i'm gonna start manufacturing harmful rumors about the charlottesville police department, as a hobby.
10 December 2020 : @tgracchus1848 he did live to be 90! but assuming he was faithful to each of his wives, he would have the 25 years between his marriages and... maybe 6 years before his first marriage? i dunno man, the math says fidel was an unfaithful husband.
7 December 2020 : wow i haven't seen this kind of anti catholic slander since the confirmation hearings of amy coney barrett
7 December 2020 : i believe T to be more of an anthropologist of the modern horniness, not truly a pervert himself.
7 December 2020 : absolutely not
7 December 2020 : oh wow i will have to check those out this holiday season
5 December 2020 : oh that is it, isn’t it
4 December 2020 : that one was actually a police helicopter crash
3 December 2020 : well i guess we will finally be getting that death to america we’ve all been asking for
3 December 2020 : lol i was about to send this to you
3 December 2020 : wait, in which order?
3 December 2020 : don’t open it, it’s a virus
3 December 2020 : oh, the pile of shit represents the posts. the shitposts.
3 December 2020 : 😇
3 December 2020 : structurally the most round of them all
3 December 2020 : deservedly ratioed
3 December 2020 : pic.twitter.com/JL3UkMXRaE
3 December 2020 : i’m assuming this is a joke that you can explain to me later
2 December 2020 : it's not like he was a public defender and this is the case that landed on his desk. he freely entered into this business relationship that involves him making huge amounts of money arguing in favor of enslaving children.
2 December 2020 : if i were a lawyer i would simply choose not to take on clients whose interests would force me to defend child slavery but that’s just me i guess.
2 December 2020 : it seemed obvious to me, with the dig at nanowrimo? but it does get hard to tell.
2 December 2020 : https://twitter.com/brianhevlin/status/1334170667411881984?s=21
1 December 2020 : oh i see, you mean if i were posting, there would be more good posts and everyone would be happier. you’re right - i’m sorry.
1 December 2020 : what? no, i have barely posted in days!!!
1 December 2020 : i have a christmas card from a dog on my refrigerator! i follow several accounts that are "run by" dogs and we all kind of play into the idea that the dog is posting! it's harmless fun. but like... millions of people are starving, joe.
1 December 2020 : i feel like if this shit is making *ME* cringe, it's unsalvageable
1 December 2020 : oh god what have we been THINKING eating anything but the gas station pupusas
30 November 2020 : he’s perfect. you don’t have to like it, but that’s what peak acting performance looks like.
28 November 2020 : imagine shaving your legs during a rock bottom alcoholic bender. couldn’t be me.
28 November 2020 : ms rock bottom here has clearly brushed her hair this week and i am unable to suspend my disbelief on that alone
28 November 2020 : you know i can’t read
28 November 2020 : teen jesus was so cool
28 November 2020 : and the ak47? alaska, of course.
26 November 2020 : have i said so much as a single word out loud to you in person in this entire calendar year? then it’s virtually guaranteed that i’ve spent time lying awake at night wishing i’d said something slightly different!!
26 November 2020 : one really underrated aspect of 2020 is that i’ve had to few social interactions this year that i can remember pretty much all of them with perfect clarity. it makes for a truly unique social anxiety experience.
25 November 2020 : i don't get notifications from non-followers & i mute any tweet that gets more than a couple of annoying replies and/or more than 1000 faves, so if someone wants to fight me, they'll have to DM me about it.
25 November 2020 : oh no what did i do
25 November 2020 : that real habsburg did reply to my incest comment though - they DON’T do that ANYMORE
25 November 2020 : getting irrationally upset that so few people are picking the raccoon, the obviously correct answer.
25 November 2020 : 3b, no question. but this game should include a carhartt jacket option.
25 November 2020 : everybody seems very excited about this brilliant scheme to trick a woman into going somewhere alone with a man she doesn’t want to see or speak to. unsettling!
24 November 2020 : for the record, this isn't a joke, he did say this https://au.news.yahoo.com/dan-aykroyds-9-11-alien-theory-25422047.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAALQlvrk3SoOfsmZCNDvdWvauzYcxwgeRC3pmyMgPalhgBLSpJcqz9uQCsvG2k_GUojNRO497XDX2squInSFJn4fxIqHu3ZGOGw9a1M7ZZwXa0UfNBYyW14DJ0QE2f31NxSnLOCk-JwuxohoO6Q0PCjjBrKVUB3AqJggSmu9Kxc7o
24 November 2020 : sorry, as dan aykroyd already explained: aliens were on their way to visit us for the first time on september 11, 2001. they got as far as new jersey and then they witnessed 9/11 and decided we were not worthy of first contact.
24 November 2020 : it’s what she calls her morning affirmations, when she looks in the mirror and hypes herself up.
24 November 2020 : i like to think my friends know i am respectfully, platonically appreciating their art.
23 November 2020 : and yet you don’t believe in measuring time at all
23 November 2020 : the smoother the brain the smoother the ride
23 November 2020 : is she doing woke anti-miscegenation...?
21 November 2020 : it's everything and nothing all at once. it's not a sock or a shoe or neither.
20 November 2020 : oh c’mon we all know it’s not “one or two” for you.
18 November 2020 : my dad watches what the tennis channel calls "tennis classics." it's just old wimbledon or whatever.
18 November 2020 : it’s like you’re TRYING to get an fbi agent to come to your house
18 November 2020 : really couldn’t be more accurate for you
18 November 2020 : @verypoliteguy @tgracchus1848 fuck i really need some pupusas right now
18 November 2020 : i’ll take 3x pupusas, that’s all i need
17 November 2020 : i bet we could make him cry
17 November 2020 : nathan, cardi, and i will team up to roast bolsonaro 24/7
17 November 2020 : i think 4 could be fun
17 November 2020 : kangaroo isn’t kosher?!
17 November 2020 : i really want to eat the big mean rat.
17 November 2020 : i believe this.
17 November 2020 : honestly can't even tell if you're fucking with us. australia is a confusing and mysterious place.
17 November 2020 : do they have kangaroo meat tacos
17 November 2020 : sorry all i can picture is trying to order a quesadilla at an outback steakhouse. am i close?
17 November 2020 : you can't just TELL us about taco bill and not SHOW us taco bill.
15 November 2020 : respectfully looking
12 November 2020 : i think his willingness to cut funding to his own butt is admirable. times are tough out there.
11 November 2020 : fell down a WEIRD rabbit hole looking up oath keeper, minuteman militia member, and alleged information technology professional robert franklin gamble of palm bay, FL (apparently there's a facebook knockoff called TRUMPBOOKUSA) pic.twitter.com/3zVuaghiu6
11 November 2020 : speaking of former cops, let's take a look at douglas waterman. he was an NYPD officer a long time ago and now he posts very wild rants about "globalists" on militia message boards. pic.twitter.com/iHvfU3uP2u
11 November 2020 : next is earl webb, the 'commander' of the oath keepers in alabama. he posts about meetups at... his house! which happens to be the same address he uses for his federal firearms license (earl is a gunsmith) and the address listed for his "deplorable patriots" militia group pic.twitter.com/YAcw7604dA
11 November 2020 : terribly inefficient sticker distribution system but i guess they had to check IDs so nobody got two
11 November 2020 : extremely online & ready to serve pic.twitter.com/Ll9MDlznVB
11 November 2020 : like i told @AntiFashGordon this morning, if one of these guys does eventually shoot me, my friends have my permission to laugh about my tendency to respond to words of caution with “what’re they gonna do, shoot me?”
11 November 2020 : oh no what was i standing in line for
10 November 2020 : thank you, i’m very good at posts
10 November 2020 : is that the latin name for trump’s golden toilet?
10 November 2020 : emma, whose daughters were injured in the nazi terrorist attack here in charlottesville 3 years ago, is stranded in mississippi due to a delay in the trial of the man who murdered her son. she’s been through so much. can you help pay for her hotel room? https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8ubufvBfCd?fbclid=IwAR2cGp1IdKvGp1J5fYXXrLD888K6lb2p6ofcY95gaTAZkKLHvL6Vo4_OF_E
9 November 2020 : pic.twitter.com/z5AwoGLJGf
7 November 2020 : if you thank about it, getting the second-most votes is really close to being the same thing as winning. only ONE guy got more votes. pic.twitter.com/zoj2dto6te
7 November 2020 : counter protesters playing a siren sound over “god bless america” played over a speaker by the trump supporters. just an auditory mess here outside the capitol in richmond. pic.twitter.com/NazgQaV5Jw
7 November 2020 : “i don’t do covid by the way,” chase says. “i’m the only legislator in the virginia stage assembly who doesn’t wear a mask.” she brags about how the state had to build a plexiglass enclosure around her desk to protect her colleagues, calling it her “freedom corner.”
7 November 2020 : there is a news crew here speaking german and i am just unbearably embarrassed at the thought of a foreign audience witnessing this https://twitter.com/goadgatsby/status/1325103343992254464
7 November 2020 : chase has appeared in public numerous times with joshua macias and antonio lamotta, the qanon believers attested the other night on gun charges while attempting to sabotage vote counting efforts in philadelphia... by delivering fraudulent ballots. https://www.kmov.com/news/report-armed-men-arrested-in-philadelphia-were-trying-to-deliver-fake-ballots/article_12ee5e77-a724-5633-9c52-6bc3ae91a28b.html
5 November 2020 : they don’t. i blocked them.
4 November 2020 : sandy must not encounter a lot of the real world
4 November 2020 : "an internet was sent by my staff"
4 November 2020 : (i don’t care what happens in the election i just don’t want you to follow through on your promise)
4 November 2020 : oh no
4 November 2020 : you’re out of control
3 November 2020 : that bedazzled dagger doesn’t even look sharp wtf am i supposed to do with this pic.twitter.com/HTKxXkUOFz
3 November 2020 : a wild horde of crazed anarchists filling their mouths with fistfuls of bleu cheese taken right out of the sweetgreen stockpiles
3 November 2020 : just busting in and taking all the craisins
3 November 2020 : i think it's funny to imagine someone looting the salad store
3 November 2020 : it's like chipotle but for expensive salad
3 November 2020 : how is this even possible?!
3 November 2020 : neal halvorson-taylor, a local episcopal priest, urges council to create a climate action plan. "please adopt climate as a priority in your strategic plan," he says. his voice is... extremely soothing, even if the message of climate disaster is not.
2 November 2020 : i'm so happy for her
2 November 2020 : all of these words are fake. i don’t care what you call it. just stop making me change my clocks.
1 November 2020 : i was literally just talking about i'm dreading my first cold weather police chemical weapon attack because of how wet you always end up getting trying to get yourself decontaminated! this is a great idea for winter in a police state! https://twitter.com/PDXActionMedics/status/1322969391198277634
1 November 2020 : time is fake. we can have halloween whenever we want. let’s see the costume.
31 October 2020 : it looks like the kind of attachment for shooting less lethal projectiles. it could be paintballs or pepper balls (like a paintball but it’s full of mace)
27 October 2020 : how do you convince people to comply with a rigorous two week quarantine and multiple health screenings for a SURPRISE trip. that’s real trust.
27 October 2020 : seems like a bad idea
24 October 2020 : i don't know a lot about hr giger but i have to assume he is some kind of extreme pervert
24 October 2020 : it must happen to you a lot
23 October 2020 : i’m picturing it and i’m so sorry but it’s very funny
23 October 2020 : meta posting
23 October 2020 : smooth like a slippery little fish
22 October 2020 : jeff bezos is up to his mysterious tricks again
22 October 2020 : what have you been shopping for
22 October 2020 : no you gotta post the picture. that’s what makes it so funny. i was looking at the prayer books trying to figure out why you were showing me the picture for a WHILE before i noticed the unabomber’s manifesto lookin’ all nice & normal next to them.
21 October 2020 : i should know better than to make jokes about pope business
21 October 2020 : everybody's mad his holiness said gay rights, huh?
20 October 2020 : @tgracchus1848 can they just DO that?
20 October 2020 : saw a guy toodling down the street on a tiny, ancient tractor earlier. but as the lady who walks to the park every day with a backpack full of dog costumes & spends an hour lying on her belly in the grass trying to get a nice picture, i’m not longer allowed to judge the neighbors
18 October 2020 : none for @tgracchus1848 ?
18 October 2020 : move into a casino if you hate clocks so much
18 October 2020 : gonna make him eat sweet potato coleslaw. i don’t even know if that’s a thing but it’s what he deserves.
18 October 2020 : oh wow you really stepped in it this time
17 October 2020 : it feels rude for the IRS to want any of my money tbh!
17 October 2020 : oh no i just meant in principle. that’s so kind of you though!!!
17 October 2020 : laughing, loving, cringing, shrugging. that’s all the emotions.
17 October 2020 : he should pay mine, then
17 October 2020 : man, i like this park, too. sucks to see it like this.
17 October 2020 : werewolf, obviously
16 October 2020 : oh hell yeah i love when men explain things to me like i'm stupid. do it again.
16 October 2020 : yeah but you're fancy
16 October 2020 : no one is making "aluminum foil hats" are they?! no. it's tin foil.
16 October 2020 : i mean i know it is actually called aluminum foil but i don't think people actually say that out loud? do they?
16 October 2020 : the telltale pelvic tilt of an uncomfortable crooked tampon, ah yes.
15 October 2020 : interesting, i have adopted a habit of stress-leaving the dishes in the sink until i'm out of clean dishes and can't use the sink.
15 October 2020 : HAVING A GOURD TIME!!!!
15 October 2020 : this is very important. and you can't just say they're all anprim because they live in the woods. that's lazy.
14 October 2020 : if you sue on the basis of religious discrimination, our all-catholic supreme court should have your back. just keep appealing.
14 October 2020 : is the joke here that this would be most days?
14 October 2020 : a dudearchy? government by dudes?
14 October 2020 : not a witch, no
14 October 2020 : wow i guess i'm saved. i'm not on the list at all 🙏
14 October 2020 : does twitter not require, like instagram does, that you clearly mark paid posts as ads? i've never seen this done on those product placement replies & i have to assume a good many of them are the result of the kind of offer made to me - $ for posting a link.
14 October 2020 : i didn't bother to find out what they were offering because i'm not gonna shill weight loss tea or whatever under my own dumb posts but i'm curious what the going rate is.
14 October 2020 : it just happened to me for the first time! i had someone DM me to try to buy a product placement under a viral tweet.
12 October 2020 : i mean, rabid anti-catholicism seems like a thing of the past, for the most part. the only people who really think about (and have particular hatred for) catholics are... catholics. so maybe they're right.
12 October 2020 : the nice old man who sells carriage rides up the hill let me drive the horse & a japanese tour group thought i worked at the castle and followed me around for a while. castle itself only ok, wouldn't really recommend.
12 October 2020 : sorry, that word fell in with a bad crowd and i don't think it's safe to use it that way.
12 October 2020 : oh i should have, damn
12 October 2020 : did you show them the card i wrote everyone's name on?
11 October 2020 : you absolutely must log off.
11 October 2020 : isn’t they the general thrust of sartre’s essay on antisemitism? does he refer to it by any specific name?
9 October 2020 : that’s... very unusual. but i guess at this point we have a solid pattern of weaponizing petty misdemeanor charges for political reasons.
9 October 2020 : NOW you know the answer to that question, but not when i was trying to get you a birthday cake. that's the real food crime here.
9 October 2020 : they're very handsome
9 October 2020 : i have only one (1) art and it is a canvas print of a picture of my dogs. have you considered a large canvas print of a picture of my dogs?
9 October 2020 : sometimes when the audio drops i secretly pray it just won't come back and i can log off without feeling guilty.
8 October 2020 : i think the funniest part of this is how serious you are
8 October 2020 : shut up, that's my line
8 October 2020 : liking my small account friends’ posts, like a true good samaritan.
8 October 2020 : chuck knows what https://twitter.com/chuckgrassley/status/529356795924725760?s=21
8 October 2020 : tell us, T
7 October 2020 : the duality of T
6 October 2020 : please ask god to work in less mysterious, more efficient ways. i feel like we’ve been waiting for too long for the good news.
6 October 2020 : the meat needs a light sear + personally, i'd like a bigger chunk of cheese.
6 October 2020 : lmao fuck. it's hard to post while also listening to a meeting.
6 October 2020 : you're just old fashioned
6 October 2020 : blessing 1/3 a can of flat seltzer left in a can i forgot about, just in case demons come later
6 October 2020 : just random old cups of holy water all over the house
6 October 2020 : i tried to describe it to @tgracchus1848 and it just immediately devolved into me screaming SIXTEEN THOUSAND COLUMNS?!?
6 October 2020 : dogs are extremely ready for me to log off
6 October 2020 : someone would shoot it
5 October 2020 : is this the THIRD time today you’ve accused me of being a liar 👀
5 October 2020 : i never cheat or lie! i am honest when i’ve read ahead. that one movie just had big m night shyamalan rip-off vibes
5 October 2020 : it had an ending i did not want!
5 October 2020 : he made me watch a whole movie without reading a plot summary first!!
5 October 2020 : oh shit, it’s your birthday?
5 October 2020 : they taste like drowning.
4 October 2020 : i’m very funny and i don’t get enough credit for that
4 October 2020 : is this the technical name for a bowl of tutti frutti ice cream with a shot of frangelico poured over it?
4 October 2020 : the big 3. a trinity, if you will.
3 October 2020 : it's possible i'm already searching for a tape measure to get their snout measurements...
3 October 2020 : “about to drop a new encyclical” 😂
3 October 2020 : sorry, is full coverage more your speed? pic.twitter.com/m0VJA2Ajfr
3 October 2020 : how about this? does this do it for you? pic.twitter.com/HABjVKhSqS
3 October 2020 : i regret this google search pic.twitter.com/ydTszFhOHA
2 October 2020 : that was worth the incognito window.
2 October 2020 : i think he’s replying to the woman insisting that theocratic secret police employed by a tax exempt multi billion dollar company/religion is a good thing, as that is actually a very bad thing.
1 October 2020 : @tgracchus1848 @RoseLuxemburg1 @jamie_elizabeth wow absolutely no pushback from T on being called “anarchist adjacent.” he’s coming to terms with it. folks, we love to see personal growth.
1 October 2020 : lmao i dated a girl who fucking loved that guy. one of several extremely red flags and not the good kind
1 October 2020 : is jeff dunham the one with the racist puppets or the redneck jokes guy?
1 October 2020 : tbh it’s very weak of your brother to pick green when he could simply walk into your room and actually fight you IRL if that’s what he wants
1 October 2020 : damn T, you gonna take that?
30 September 2020 : post dog
30 September 2020 : did you plant this thought in my brain?
29 September 2020 : we haven’t yet
29 September 2020 : https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1120171499338588161?s=21
26 September 2020 : he has a little more gray hair than you but it’s close enough
26 September 2020 : @tgracchus1848 can we bleach your beard?
25 September 2020 : that is a lot of generational trauma to deal with
25 September 2020 : i had to read that a few times to realize she is calling herself a superstar
25 September 2020 : sorry we did this to your post about the pushup man
25 September 2020 : this mf said “bryab”
25 September 2020 : oh no it all makes sense now. pic.twitter.com/7o5lPG54py
25 September 2020 : so basically it’s this pic.twitter.com/RgXTQv4MA8
25 September 2020 : CHOOSE WISELY
25 September 2020 : i also would like a role in this drug fueled fantasy
25 September 2020 : tbh, several of these definitely already exist in the wild.
25 September 2020 : sorry t, democratic neofascism is already real.
24 September 2020 : lol several of these are about ears, actually https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/plastic-surgery-10-secret-signs/11/
24 September 2020 : that's just where they sew your face back on during a face lift, which he has clearly had more than one of pic.twitter.com/zKW1YqgKqV
23 September 2020 : you're really gonna become a gamer and a podcaster in the same year?
22 September 2020 : (non-sexual post)
22 September 2020 : they're just trying to get those feet as dirty as possible to tempt christ to come wash them
20 September 2020 : say why you will about our horrible dystopian hellscape but at least i can tweet pictures of a dead bird i found outside my house at the 87 year old senator who is third in line for the presidency in the event of a disaster who spends his time tweeting about dead birds he found.
16 September 2020 : booking books by a transphobe > transphobes burning books pic.twitter.com/tkqCT6W0Nq
15 September 2020 : imagine being murdered by fascists at the beautiful lewis ginter botanical gardens though. truly a beautiful death.
14 September 2020 : i like that "kicks ass" was the search term you used to find the old tweet
14 September 2020 : i love the big rat boy
14 September 2020 : oh no who has done this again
12 September 2020 : i think zy would agree with that!
12 September 2020 : @ZyahnaB with the mic: “were still only taking these small representations of white supremacy come down,” she says. we’re making the courthouse LOOK more equitable without reckoning with the institutional racism that takes place inside. pic.twitter.com/6upYshUeQd
9 September 2020 : no, half plain, half vanilla sweetened almond milk. i have a whole system here. it’s delicious.
9 September 2020 : no, it’s good actually
9 September 2020 : please tell that to @tgracchus1848 because he is shaming me for my beverage of choice
9 September 2020 : that’s why i use almond milk pic.twitter.com/DkTwM7K1FL
9 September 2020 : it’s good and you have no taste
9 September 2020 : the developer said some people told him that some councilors will "vote against this project because of synmbolism," "the city should be voting for a project like this because of symbolism!" i'm rolling my eyes real hard. pic.twitter.com/Sq665DVD2A
7 September 2020 : wandering into one of the outbuildings on the property and immediately walking fully into a whole dead wild boar hanging from a hook on my first day there definitely qualifies as horror movie material
7 September 2020 : even when my german was fluent, i never could quite understand that thick swabian accent. i had no idea what that man was ever saying to me but i could just tell it was untoward.
7 September 2020 : oh wow
4 September 2020 : one guy had all the rifles in his car and was handing them back out, i think
2 September 2020 : i do not have to admit this!
1 September 2020 : if all we eat is avocado toast, we’ve obviously opened a bag of bread right?
31 August 2020 : you’re mad at the truth, not me
31 August 2020 : he says between posts
28 August 2020 : the dick map said US out of puerto rico
27 August 2020 : might as well start doxxing the D-list bowlers. Rich D? that's richard dewey of las vegas. my condolences on the recent passing of his wife.
26 August 2020 : "do we want to be known as a city that loses its canopy?" josey asks. the city is not meeting its tree planting goals. "we're actually having a net loss every year." pic.twitter.com/tLzkA3WHsF
26 August 2020 : tree commissioner paul josey says the commission has been advocating for years for an urban forester position to be created, which he says at this point is highly unlikely for budgetary positions. pic.twitter.com/jIkVvIdrJD
23 August 2020 : extremely true
18 August 2020 : thank god i'm stuck in a city council meeting or else you KNOW i'd be screaming at that video feed right now!
18 August 2020 : someone please cut the cord on this city council meeting 😭😭
18 August 2020 : i have a sickness and i wish i were watching it
16 August 2020 : it is one of cantwell’s favorite words after learning it from reading mein kampf in jail.
14 August 2020 : why do you torment me
14 August 2020 : you are allowed to congratulate me on my great posts
12 August 2020 : many are tempted to call him a "big nut," but peanuts are legumes.
12 August 2020 : you see the new planter's peanut? he's not a baby anymore.
12 August 2020 : when she testified at her attacker's trial, tay said of the crowd, “i’ve never seen so many people standing up for black people. so many people of another color standing up for us.” keep standing up for tay. she needs our help. https://www.gofundme.com/f/healing-for-tay?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet
12 August 2020 : tay washington was just sitting in her car, waiting for the crowd to pass, when she was injured on 8/12/17. her injuries triggered a rare & debilitating condition called complex regional pain syndrome that still causes her pain every day. https://www.gofundme.com/f/healing-for-tay?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet
11 August 2020 : no, 5'8" is tall, right @tgracchus1848 ?
11 August 2020 : fellas, is it gay to do an illegal strike with your union brothers?
11 August 2020 : no one can force a true poster to log off
11 August 2020 : three lattes is really more caffeine than i should have in a day and i do NOT want ted to touch my feet
10 August 2020 : i’m doing my part pic.twitter.com/dhWFBW9YZN
9 August 2020 : interclout relationships perpetuate inequality and are inherently abusive. a small account can never really consent to any relationship with a big account. it’s just common sense.
8 August 2020 : no you don’t!
8 August 2020 : your honor, my clients could WANTED to engage in a conspiracy to commit acts of racially motivated violence but were unable to because their grandkids would not help them log on to the hate crime planning chat. i rest my case. pic.twitter.com/tprTwPUJpc
7 August 2020 : i demand the outtakes!!!
7 August 2020 : how many takes did they shoot before they got one where nobody tripped over the little chain?
6 August 2020 : ok but are they are least 6 feet away? this sounds crowded.
5 August 2020 : by the k hive queen bee? consider it a blessing.
31 July 2020 : if you want to properly dunk the wafer in the juice, you'll need a bigger cup. it's quite simple, really.
30 July 2020 : once at a protest at UNC, a plainclothes officer grabbed a kid by the neck & dragged him down on top of me once. i was lying on the ground underneath a kid getting choked by... who? some confederate? a cop? i didn’t know. adds a lot of confusion to a bad situation.
30 July 2020 : ❤️
29 July 2020 : oh wow you do need this
29 July 2020 : legit though, i'm gonna call molotovs "tolerance candles" now, that's great, thank you.
29 July 2020 : wow if only some really prescient person had made an impassioned speech at the convention about why socialists needed to embrace the fight against fascism because fascism was gonna come for even the most milquetoast among us very, very soon & it won’t make factional distinctions!
28 July 2020 : i’m not sure he even knows what he’s trying to say
27 July 2020 : lmao i slept for 45 seconds on a metal bench last night what am i doing i can't concentrate at all
27 July 2020 : gotta find out about restaurant occupancy limits first
26 July 2020 : gourd gatsby, squash guy
26 July 2020 : this one hurts
26 July 2020 : just thinking about how we ended up where we did tonight https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1287198178618626048?s=21
26 July 2020 : bad vibes start to finish tonight https://twitter.com/goadgatsby/status/1287233692667183106?s=21
26 July 2020 : it’s very dark here but among those at the front are still the BLM757 crew. unclear where we are headed. everyone has autonomy but folks should be aware BLM757 do seem to be calling some shots.
23 July 2020 : hard to believe he’s 34 years old
23 July 2020 : i'm gonna ask @tgracchus1848 to DM him for me
23 July 2020 : one of the planeteers was “fire” right?
23 July 2020 : oh no the earth is farting
22 July 2020 : just set a small fire to burn away all the virus particles instead
21 July 2020 : WHY are we not grilling
20 July 2020 : it is absolutely not worthy of your hate pics album.
20 July 2020 : @tgracchus1848 @abolish_work this isn’t a picture of you?
19 July 2020 : the social isolation of the pandemic has made men like this even weirder than usual
19 July 2020 : i’m barely even the boss of my dogs. i’m not in charge of anything.
19 July 2020 : i don't wanna hear a word about healing crystals from some teenager who has never been taken to a "healer" who is just some weird dude who makes pills in his living room & decides which one to give you by swinging a crystal talisman over your abdomen.
19 July 2020 : he has also blocked me (again)
19 July 2020 : it’s not fair to use words he doesn’t understand.
19 July 2020 : lmao what reality is brett living in. this is incredible.
19 July 2020 : thanks, but i'll just be opting out of this global crisis!
19 July 2020 : aim it at the moon pic.twitter.com/ZEEa2l1qRZ
19 July 2020 : i can see this for you
18 July 2020 : i wish i knew
18 July 2020 : oh god bless you
18 July 2020 : it sounds like you might be kidding, but in all seriousness is that a real thing and does it exist for other movies? because i need that.
16 July 2020 : i guess what i’m saying, specifically, is that maybe brian should think about whether it’s wise to have any more of his friends ring my doorbell. https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1274037596675543040?s=21
16 July 2020 : cantwell is, of course, currently in jail awaiting trial for threatening another nazi’s wife. the feds had access to all his communications & chose only to charge him for those threats. so i’m certainly not expecting anyone to charge our local friend. but he should know the facts
16 July 2020 : i didn't realize 18 U.S. Code § 2261A covered threats to a person's pets, but apparently it does. just an interesting fact to know. i love to learn new things.
16 July 2020 : picking through cantwell's superseding indictment & brushing up on what he's charged with & i learned a fact a certain local vigilante might be interested in: apparently driving by my house a bunch of times & then posting on the internet about murdering my dogs IS a federal crime
16 July 2020 : https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1096946466449444871?s=21
10 July 2020 : oh no sweet potatoes are good. t is wrong about those.
10 July 2020 : no, i'm right
10 July 2020 : he's right about eggplant, though
10 July 2020 : someone get in here and explain 'binch' to the fish pimp
10 July 2020 : this is too chaotic
9 July 2020 : i would trust no one else to have the correct answer to this question
9 July 2020 : let me have my jokes
9 July 2020 : is this a personal attack on me, someone who just woke up?
8 July 2020 : @CampellisPizza , y'all really want this man touching your pizza?
8 July 2020 : you can’t force me to know about this
8 July 2020 : i! want! to! ride! the! ox!
7 July 2020 : i don’t understand why no one is saying purple when purple is obviously the correct answer
7 July 2020 : this may be the least correct answer possible
6 July 2020 : yes, i think e1x is the answer here.
4 July 2020 : well you weren’t wrong
4 July 2020 : it’s the sweet potato thing, we all already decided.
2 July 2020 : this makes me want to cyber bully
2 July 2020 : reading is a prison
1 July 2020 : tell em to go slow, i’m on my way & i wanna see it 😂
1 July 2020 : they get it! bad movies are the best movies.
1 July 2020 : he had powerful energy. nothing but respect for him.
30 June 2020 : they check every time https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1277801683444211714?s=21
30 June 2020 : no mine was funnier
30 June 2020 : yes but the city of fredericksburg has a higher per capita infection rate, if that makes you feel any better
30 June 2020 : personally i think they should explain why they disappeared that woman but ok
29 June 2020 : holy shit she found out it was a hoax and... properly retracted the earlier claim? is this the twilight zone? https://twitter.com/TomiLahren/status/1277438572237410305?s=20
29 June 2020 : lmao did she delete this?!
28 June 2020 : i can’t believe this is a real person and i’m looking right at him
28 June 2020 : to be fair (to me), i screenshot it the other day and just forgot to tell anyone
26 June 2020 : is this about the police
26 June 2020 : what
23 June 2020 : lol what
23 June 2020 : https://twitter.com/shafieikeyvan/status/1275264919034830848?s=20
22 June 2020 : richmond’s own negro matapacos?
22 June 2020 : fuck, of course someone has actually weighed in on this with sincerity
22 June 2020 : can a small account consent to a relationship with a big account?
22 June 2020 : maybe you just don’t know me as well as you thought!
20 June 2020 : cop wouldn’t fuck with me on my battle ox
20 June 2020 : i'm gonna look so good on an ox
20 June 2020 : PLEASE
20 June 2020 : CAN I RIDE THE OX
18 June 2020 : jason, i told you this was a bad idea months ago. but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't looking forward to seeing this in court. https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1232716359332696064?s=20
18 June 2020 : jason kessler's conspiracy theory that federal law clerks are deeply embedded in an antifa plot to destroy him is getting out of hand. he's attempting to subpoena the clerks & has posted that they should "not be sleeping easy right now" & should "probably flee the country" pic.twitter.com/mOsgm9urV0
18 June 2020 : QTing “pope news” to help solidify the brand, i see
18 June 2020 : oh, interesting. i don't know a ton about how FB ads work, tbh, but it looks like some versions of this ad ARE still active. almost every ad buy for this ad targeted men 25-64 (the militia demographic, unrelated, i'm sure) pic.twitter.com/QzMr1TD62L
18 June 2020 : it is real - i pulled up the official, checkmarked FB page for donald j trump, opened the ad library, and scrolled through posts they'd paid to run as ads. this ad is no longer running & wasn't seen by a ton of people while it was live https://www.facebook.com/ads/library/?id=591999094784607 pic.twitter.com/EqSkqUuy8S
18 June 2020 : all of these replies are the same. i think you do have an identifiable brand.
17 June 2020 : lol i think roco has an MRAP, too. i bet we’ll see it!
16 June 2020 : it didn’t have to be out loud. i could hear it via text.
16 June 2020 : this makes me feel the same way as when you said “leprechaun cock ring” to me bad, uncomfortable, unhappy, kinda nauseated, etc
14 June 2020 : time’s fake
13 June 2020 : tell that to my horoscope pic.twitter.com/75GsEZK486
13 June 2020 : T & the giant yam
13 June 2020 : straight from the arpaio playbook
13 June 2020 : your worst opinion
13 June 2020 : it was real science, confirmed.
13 June 2020 : the core was right all along https://youtu.be/R-PAimSAL08
13 June 2020 : oh we saw this movie. it’s giant crystals or something.
13 June 2020 : would you be willing to grant me the opportunity to repair the racism i perpetrated toward you in making you read that post?
13 June 2020 : yes but have you considered this https://twitter.com/fentpop/status/1271326630221250565?s=21
12 June 2020 : if you are the person shooting off fireworks in downtown charlottesville, i am absolutely begging you to not.
10 June 2020 : i don't believe it.
8 June 2020 : i opened this up last night and scrolled through quickly to get an idea of how long it was, saw “ted nugent” pop out at me from a wall of text & just closed the tab.
6 June 2020 : central virginia, please keep your eyes open for this missing girl https://twitter.com/dailyprogress/status/1268953971059822592 pic.twitter.com/VpF4QvYKEb
5 June 2020 : please sign in with your full name, address, and phone number so we can keep in touch!
5 June 2020 : i'm straight up losing it at the idea of a name tag making table at a protest
29 May 2020 : I'M SO UPSET. I WANT TO HANG OUT AROUND THE FIRE AND EAT MAC AND CHEESE SO BAD WTF.
29 May 2020 : oh you're FANCY now
29 May 2020 : when the plague has passed, i'm THERE
29 May 2020 : your yurt construction party made my heart ache! i wanna grill some meats and pet some goats!!!!!
28 May 2020 : i refuse to find out how we got from point A to point B on this one pic.twitter.com/1OoUkzCbnr
27 May 2020 : https://www.jstor.org/stable/41035454 ? it's likely, anyway. he and his brother were noted enthusiasts of the term & the action itself, so it would be a weird coincidence for it to have predated them. pic.twitter.com/4BekgILjvI
27 May 2020 : lynchburg IS named after the person and not the act, but the act is named after that person's brother.
25 May 2020 : 😭😭🥰🥰
25 May 2020 : i voted yes
25 May 2020 : i just didn’t expect it to be curly!!!
25 May 2020 : omg bryan's hair!!!
22 May 2020 : i'm glad i checked pic.twitter.com/FiOu5BLWtJ
22 May 2020 : hmmm pic.twitter.com/HqeGIDdoiX
22 May 2020 : no that's something else
22 May 2020 : so it's gay to appreciate women's bodies and also to appreciate your own male body and eat appetizers and also to look at the sky. i think the most heterosexual thing men can do is simply cease to exist.
20 May 2020 : my small kings? no no no they require far more luxurious accommodations.
20 May 2020 : i'm ready to enjoy the leisure zone
20 May 2020 : "he is outta control at all times" wow i love this goat
20 May 2020 : the iconic goat they: @NeolithicSheep
19 May 2020 : this is a more useful and substantive response than what i was thinking, which was a joke about how even the celibacy of the priesthood doesn't protect him from one of men's greatest weaknesses: the inability of men to tell when women are faking it.
19 May 2020 : (but you know that)
19 May 2020 : those anti-lockdown protests aren't working class people agitating to go back to work. it's their bosses screaming about making them come back to work.
19 May 2020 : i plan to!
17 May 2020 : when i googled “kinds of hats for men” this was the first google image result
17 May 2020 : you married a poster. surely james will read you the posts during your time of need.
13 May 2020 : @tgracchus1848 , your favorite pasta makes another appearance on the TL
12 May 2020 : have you started a new medication? i got terrible RLS from an atypical antidepressant. stopped when i stopped taking it.
12 May 2020 : my first notification this morning was someone telling me he wished i'd been aborted. really gets you going in the morning!
12 May 2020 : oh fuck oh no they're absolutely going to do this i'm so sorry i spoke it into existence
12 May 2020 : gonna write to GM about making the ventilators in red, white, and blue so we can put them all on a football field in the shape of an american flag before the first super bowl after we declare victory
8 May 2020 : this press conference sucks
6 May 2020 : it’s so rude!!
6 May 2020 : maybe it's just that i'm out of shit to do but watching my own foot skin come off sounds exciting and interesting to me at this point
6 May 2020 : i'm SO INTRIGUED
6 May 2020 : it was as big as my thumb!
6 May 2020 : i really feel like i’m losing it with all these articles talking about this being a brand new problem. i have a picture of one i took inside the lobby of the jail two years ago.
6 May 2020 : i’ve seen them twice in charlottesville!
4 May 2020 : bad is the point
3 May 2020 : he has lots of good advice https://twitter.com/thegoodcatboy/status/1253697133154381825?s=21
3 May 2020 : of course i mean the big beautiful cat
3 May 2020 : if you are talking about the big orange boy, i agree.
1 May 2020 : what the hell did she do to her le creuset pan that this was even under consideration?!
1 May 2020 : people who ask for their meal to be made gluten free but then eat the free bread on the table are insane monsters who are personally responsible for at least 1.5% of my suffering.
1 May 2020 : imagine eating "almost solely" gluten free. either you can't eat gluten and these occasional exposures are causing you intense suffering & possibly permanent physical harm or you CAN EAT GLUTEN and you're choosing to eat a restrictive diet for absolutely no positive reason????
1 May 2020 : literally why. to all of this.
1 May 2020 : yeah but you cut yourself with a scythe OVER YOUR TATTOO OF DEATH WITH A SCYTHE making it actually very cool
27 April 2020 : it's also not even their picture https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dj77rv/i_wonder_what_happened_to_the_sausage/f43iwjc/?context=3
25 April 2020 : i was hoping you'd add this to the noodle discourse
25 April 2020 : hell yeah, we're all upset about pasta on here right now pic.twitter.com/zM9PpOO2VH
25 April 2020 : that’s right.
25 April 2020 : NO I DID NOT
25 April 2020 : i fucked up!
25 April 2020 : i just love tim riggins and hate cops
24 April 2020 : tim riggins as david koresh, the fbi is a bunch of dumb assholes, what's not to like?
23 April 2020 : RT @jason_a_w: These remarks from Trump are spectacularly badly timed. On Monday, CDC did an early release of National Poison Data System n…
21 April 2020 : con air is a perfect film, this is correct.
21 April 2020 : RT @venturecommunis: play stupid games https://t.co/QMsbvM2UOT
20 April 2020 : i really need everyone to post more. i've read all the posts.
20 April 2020 : incredible technique, thelma.
19 April 2020 : and washington state
19 April 2020 : what an unkind generalization about some of my favorite southern states: michigan, pennsylvania, and ohio.
19 April 2020 : you can’t escape your brother’s post simply by logging off.
17 April 2020 : never heard of this guy until i accidentally saw his balls.
17 April 2020 : what the hell is happening here
17 April 2020 : hm. i think she could best accomplish that by staying home. i'm not a doctor though.
17 April 2020 : are you serious
17 April 2020 : there’s a german shepherd i see at the dog park sometimes and every time her person calls her malala i want to ask why
15 April 2020 : omg gwylly's a DAD!!!!!
14 April 2020 : what the fuck
7 April 2020 : why are you trying to hurt people
7 April 2020 : there’s no good choice!
6 April 2020 : i wish i could remember how that zebra came to live on my great aunt’s colorado horse farm. it’s weird i don’t recall any specifics about that. it had something to do with her south african tenant who still referred to his time in “rhodesia,” though.
5 April 2020 : more and more i am beginning to understand what uncle karl meant when he said we will make no excuses when our turn comes.
5 April 2020 : that's right.
4 April 2020 : pic.twitter.com/43cOjWWv9X
4 April 2020 : that’s right.
3 April 2020 : now is the time for this
1 April 2020 : IS IT REAL?!
1 April 2020 : i am forced to concede that this is a good post
1 April 2020 : you are a kinder, more generous person than i am.
1 April 2020 : i saw a woman wearing a glove on one hand and no glove on the other hand and just using both hands normally, touching both the world and her face with either hand freely. why? WHY?!
1 April 2020 : now that there are COVID-19 diagnoses at the fluvanna women's prison, it's a good time to remind everyone that the state is still appealing a ruling in a lawsuit requiring them to stop letting sick women die instead of providing adequate medical care. https://www.virginiamercury.com/2019/08/14/as-prisoners-continue-to-die-virginia-appeals-court-order-mandating-better-healthcare/
1 April 2020 : ohhh have you two not met IRL?
1 April 2020 : he’s older than i am & i remember hearing it on the radio (when i was too young for it)
1 April 2020 : 😂😂
31 March 2020 : i know, that’s why i would do it. i wouldn’t PUNISH your grieving mother.
31 March 2020 : i know you are right and this might be a subtweet at me but i have nothing to do right now except POST
31 March 2020 : i can't
31 March 2020 : i will ABSOLUTELY say things about your affinity for testicle-related humor in front of your mother when you die. do not worry.
30 March 2020 : i would shell out cold hard cash for a pay-per-view stream of the national guard forcing liberty to stop whatever it is they think they're doing.
29 March 2020 : she rules
28 March 2020 : everybody is coping the best they can!
27 March 2020 : omg
27 March 2020 : winter vs summertime baptisms, perhaps. timelines vary in the gospels, you know.
27 March 2020 : lol the absolute worst emoji
24 March 2020 : no i can’t read
23 March 2020 : good work, thelma
22 March 2020 : is there a drive thru open where i can get some black bile?
22 March 2020 : shit
22 March 2020 : getting my humors balanced pic.twitter.com/r7z9xgDiwU
22 March 2020 : as with all the food horrors you post, i am obliged to say: i would eat it. at a fair, perhaps.
22 March 2020 : i knew this was mellie before i saw who posted it
20 March 2020 : what a dork
20 March 2020 : imagine trying to drag me online!!!
20 March 2020 : that’s right.
19 March 2020 : @eponawest pandMEmic
19 March 2020 : going viral with a hashtag that makes this pandemic about what really matters: ME
19 March 2020 : good advice, thelma.
19 March 2020 : an angel!
18 March 2020 : i love this for her
18 March 2020 : I! WILL! NEVER! LOG! OFF!
18 March 2020 : sorry, sorry, trying to delete
18 March 2020 : mellie please do not diseasesplain to me right now
18 March 2020 : gonna join a facebook freebirthing group & start offering people childbirth advice, as the daughter of a midwife.
18 March 2020 : i love that judi dench has lost her mind and is choosing to broadcast it for our amusement. did you see her handwashing video?
17 March 2020 : well you're definitely getting the roni
17 March 2020 : has she tried pretending to be a member of an NBA team?
17 March 2020 : my favorite part of the movie is all the times everyone says the word HAPPENING "it's HAPPENING!" "WHAT'S HAPPENING!" "IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!!!!"
16 March 2020 : make beancorn. popped beans.
16 March 2020 : i mean maybe if you used a kind of cheese i don't hate, sure.
16 March 2020 : dear god
15 March 2020 : people showing up at ERs with mild-moderate symptoms or calling 911 and getting into ambulances with moderate symptoms are spreading the virus to first responders, other patients in clinics, and the general public. we can't afford to run out of first responders.
15 March 2020 : you feel like you have COVID-19? maybe you do. hell at some point the answer is you probably do. but unless you NEED HOSPITALIZATION, stay home. give your doctor a phone call, but stay home. have some tea & soup & follow your doctor's advice but do not go out looking for testing.
15 March 2020 : we need to change the messaging & start being abundantly clear that a lot of people are gonna get it. maybe half of us. maybe more than that. tons of people are gonna be sick. but some of those people are going to be REALLY SICK. and some of them will die.
15 March 2020 : stop yelling about testing capacity and start demanding more hospital equipment. https://twitter.com/scott_mintzer/status/1239290395168817154
14 March 2020 : thank you, anonymous donor, for your gift to the blue ridge abortion fund. these donations are a little light in the darkness today. pic.twitter.com/0TNqiJmkhA
14 March 2020 : leesa, your donation will help someone in central virginia get the abortion care they need during this particularly scary time. thank you ❤️ pic.twitter.com/aPVVEFuoTm
14 March 2020 : don’t make me summon the reply guys. they’ll fuck you up.
14 March 2020 : is this an insult
14 March 2020 : i’d like to be reassigned.
14 March 2020 : clare, thank you so much for your donation to blue ridge abortion fund. i suspect charitable giving will suffer a bit since we're all about to go through hard times, but every little bit counts & BRAF puts every penny toward getting people the care they need. pic.twitter.com/VVbnqQ9hSj
14 March 2020 : (i think posting the link to the fundraiser in every tweet in the thread got my account tagged as posting spam so i'm going to stop including it every time but please find & click it upthread!)
14 March 2020 : thank you, anonymous donor. this is an especially important time to make sure everyone who wants an abortion can get one safely. pic.twitter.com/GXXjqC4viD
14 March 2020 : i will watch CATS until i descend into madness or ascend to the heaviside layer. whichever comes first.
14 March 2020 : andrea i need it
14 March 2020 : amanda, thank you so much for donating to our fundraiser for blue ridge abortion fund!! pic.twitter.com/p0izWzYqIF
14 March 2020 : these are important skills for children to have, ESPECIALLY in today's world
14 March 2020 : oh wow this is a picture of you
14 March 2020 : i don't like "unleash every authority"
14 March 2020 : otto, obviously. buck is a gross boy who would never be offended by something like that.
13 March 2020 : party on crabs. party on. keep partying when we’re all gone.
13 March 2020 : i fuckin love these fun little beach guys. i never get tired of these videos.
13 March 2020 : i spent about 15 miles on my drive debating between quarantinos and quarantinis and i chose correctly. the latter is obviously a drink for the end times.
13 March 2020 : thank you, i am very good at posting and am extremely funny & clever.
13 March 2020 : splashless bleach has less of the active ingredient, sodium hypochlorite (between 1-5% vs 6% in regular bleach) and the label often doesn’t tell you what that percentage even is. actual scientists: will this kill a virus? https://www.mouseprint.org/2018/11/19/clorox-splashless-is-also-disinfectless/
13 March 2020 : would love to have some more information about whether or not this bleach that is not sold as disinfecting bleach has any disinfecting qualities? is it just less useful or is it actually useless?
13 March 2020 : splashless/no splash/low splash bleach CAN NOT be used to purify water in an emergency. it looks almost exactly the same as disinfecting bleach and is sold right next to it. pic.twitter.com/0cqzyNMQLY
13 March 2020 : feel free to make your own tweets that aren’t replies to mine.
12 March 2020 : the world is going to hell in a handbasket but look at this little hotdog in his car basket! it's more important than ever to make sure people have access to abortion care. thank you, imogen, for your donation to @BRAF_VA https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/p6Z02Wg2zH
12 March 2020 : angela, imagine otto is looking at you the way he looked at this petsmart santa! 😍 thank you for your donation! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/hm7oERkFl9
12 March 2020 : these boys are ride or die for reproductive justice. thank you, anonymous donor, for your help! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/OZWijN1MQk
12 March 2020 : i’m fine with it.
12 March 2020 : mellie i can't believe you murdered everyone's grandparents by posting this joke
12 March 2020 : i can’t be trusted.
12 March 2020 : he's always been a well dressed hotdog! this one's for john! thank you, john! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/y3iAYwC6yJ
12 March 2020 : here's otto plotting some halloween mischief when he was just a wee puppo. thank you, alisa! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/zVGC8dh30d
12 March 2020 : when otto outgrew his puppy lobster costume, i got him a new one. he looks really good as a lobster, don't you think? this one's for a very generous anonymous friend! thank you for your donation! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/byAizHrHpL
12 March 2020 : jay, thank you for your donation! now i've got the cache of baby otto halloween pictures open & i can't help but share. here's another lobster. https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/QhMnIFZvi9
12 March 2020 : edward, i know these are scary and uncertain times! thank you for your donation & here is otto when he was a baby and i put him in a lobster costume to see the santa at pet supplies plus. https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/fsTz2yHDzc
12 March 2020 : buck and otto are both so grateful for your support for reproductive justice, christa! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/yQrPjcvqca
12 March 2020 : buck is really ready for bed but i told him he has to finish his thank you notes first! thank you maria for your donation to @BRAF_VA ! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/mTN8JEnWWQ
12 March 2020 : buck is really soaking up all the love & support today! thank you sarah for your donation to abortion access!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/PXHrzPkluz
12 March 2020 : as promised, the boys got a healthy snack to celebrate their fundraising accomplishments! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/0zvgtOn8yh
12 March 2020 : HELL YEAH, we did it!!! $4000 in 24 hours! we’re gonna blow last year’s fundraising out of the water this year! thank you to the anonymous donor who took us over the $4k mark! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/Ifkttff8jm
12 March 2020 : otto is being coy so i’ll say it for him: thank you, damien!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/ANQR91TT3k
12 March 2020 : thank you rosmarus for helping us tear down barriers to abortion access like the boys tore up this banana!!!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/PDzN7jiInX
12 March 2020 : we are just $39 shy of hitting FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS RAISED IN TWENTY FOUR HOURS! we have half an hour left!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331
12 March 2020 : thank you jeff for helping us slay barriers to abortion access! here’s buck slaying a dragon. https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/wQEfv5r64N
12 March 2020 : buck is jumping for joy at how many people are helping us fund abortions! thank you, clare!!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/dKBlsJSUTO
12 March 2020 : i told buck your donation was made especially in his honor, david, and he is thrilled!! thank you! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/8iVI01neS4
12 March 2020 : otto is keeping his eye on the ball & really hustling to get those donations for abortion access!!! thank you, kay!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/OVNcAW7KCG
12 March 2020 : we agree, marilyn -- nuggets & abortions for all who want them! thank you for your donation! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/8UuQjnEiYG
12 March 2020 : psssst, hey craig! thank you for your donation! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/nufFVfu5BT
12 March 2020 : here's buck bounding toward a better world where we don't have to crowdfund healthcare. but in the meantime, thank you pamela for helping us help people access abortion! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/Ch2qiz6qPs
12 March 2020 : courtney!!! thank you so much for your generous donation! the boys are fighting over who gets to thank you (and also over that squeaky tennis ball) https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/dkskowVFr9
12 March 2020 : otto is EXTREMELY serious about safe, affordable abortion! thank you, becca! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/qAt68wq86y
12 March 2020 : the boys are thrilled with how well this is going! thank you chauncey! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/2il7P1BH5W
12 March 2020 : WE ARE COMING FOR THAT $4000 GOAL! thank you deborah!!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/JRwAUSdBxQ
12 March 2020 : sometimes people apologize for making small donations but we know very small things can be amazing! thank you sophie!!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/zLOohhKQLa
12 March 2020 : buck is relieved that our democratic majority repealed some of the more onerous restrictions on abortion access in virginia but is dismayed that cost is still a huge barrier! donations like yours help, hilary! thank you! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/rVPDNpeeaQ
12 March 2020 : in otto’s opinion, abortion should be like riding in the car: safe, legal, comfortable, and on demand ! that’s why otto always rides in his carseat. thank you for your support, daniel! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/C3nvISsEMJ
12 March 2020 : otto is deep in thought about reproductive justice. or treats. not sure. either way, thank you anonymous donor! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/KLDBPoWwuw
12 March 2020 : oh are there aquatic koalas down there?
12 March 2020 : nora, thank you!!! otto has his EYES ON THE PRIZE with a fundraising milestone in sight! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/CvnXGnfOea
12 March 2020 : i'm JUST SAYING that if we raise another $369 in the next two hours, we will have raised FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS in TWENTY FOUR HOURS for blue ridge abortion fund! wouldn't that be exciting?! https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1237851908062064640?s=20
11 March 2020 : buck is spearheading this project & tbh he is crushing it. thank you amy for your donation! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/rmBTAXYpZi
11 March 2020 : otto’s exhausted from all this fundraising! thank you, anonymous donor! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/uQ30h1iDCd
11 March 2020 : thank you for your donation, donald!! we’re out walking now after all those delicious fundraising rewards! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/7HB5EDiiMp
11 March 2020 : james your generosity has us feeling like it's christmas over here! thank you for supporting reproductive justice! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/VLjZtDFzNf
11 March 2020 : omg a donation from another elizabeth! i'm seeing double! thank you, elizabeth! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/bFVtQmn46y
11 March 2020 : here's us racing toward our next fundraising milestone thanks to a donation from elizabeth! thank you! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/hrzqLsrHV6
11 March 2020 : the boys are so grateful to our latest anonymous donor! every donation helps someone get reproductive care AND gets these dogs closer to their next treat! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/GxnFU0mQ1u
11 March 2020 : thank you meggan! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/rQ5RbXKR57
11 March 2020 : nicole, your donation has us sprinting toward our next fundraising milestone!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/DxCSapSliE
11 March 2020 : NICE work team https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/5FEWqmWJXQ
11 March 2020 : otto is completely shocked by the generosity of strangers. thank you, anonymous donor! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/xn8sluFuxl
11 March 2020 : cheer up, buck - we just got another donation! thank you, megan! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/f1wbE67vuy
11 March 2020 : we are ALL SMILES over here thanks to a donation from our friend melissa! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/fy3yJCDkcQ
11 March 2020 : i don't know where otto went, but this fruit goblin says thank you for your donation, scott!!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/2X0OROIjeo
11 March 2020 : thank you, anonymous friend, for helping us fund abortions! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/Zqg83nmqVv
11 March 2020 : i am both trying to lighten the mood and also for some reason totally unable to stop embarrassing myself in public. i really do have a sink full of filth.
11 March 2020 : my kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes and chicken blood.
11 March 2020 : thank you, matthew!!! thinking maybe we will do a nugget video for our next fundraising milestone... https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/me2H4TBW3E
11 March 2020 : a donation in POUNDS?! wow, thank you, clare!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/5TCc06zzg1
11 March 2020 : thank you, caitlin! we are small but mighty & together we can make the world a better place. https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/0yAkbaP5da
11 March 2020 : otto wishes i'd let him drive, but he's really better at directing from the passenger seat. and he's even BETTER at raising money for abortions! thank you, steve, for your donation!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/0rOpuXjShL
11 March 2020 : otto & buck are ready to fight for reproductive justice! thank you to our anonymous donor for helping us help blue ridge abortion fund do that in our community! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/paL7WaxU5q
11 March 2020 : good morning, let’s fund some abortions! here’s a very special vintage video of otto doing some direct aid for his friend couch to thank our friend robin for her generous donation to @BRAF_VA ! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/qH1o92niRW
11 March 2020 : all this fundraising has tired him out! thank you, nicole, for your donation!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/tivbfDaYrC
11 March 2020 : buck is gonna eat the rich & use their money to ensure everyone can get the healthcare they need. thank you joseph for your donation to abortion access! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/a4gNOeaIrZ
11 March 2020 : thank you, elizabeth!! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/H4NeE7iGJm
11 March 2020 : peter, this is an extremely special picture for your generous donation - this is trinket, my childhood dachshund! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/ufVTX4HN4V
11 March 2020 : mary, we also love dachshunds & bodily autonomy! thank you for your donation! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/BGdyHGWPKz
11 March 2020 : if we keep it up at this rate, they’re gonna be getting some exciting treats on camera very soon! thank you, greg! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/NWHKvEMm67
11 March 2020 : the boys are so grateful for your donation, laura! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/Ik6OByYeVd
11 March 2020 : paula, it’s so good to see neighbors helping neighbors! your donation will help someone in our community access the care they need! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/X2WQhJgC0f
11 March 2020 : buck would gladly steal from the rich to give to the poor & demonstrates this willingness by stealing the dish towels. unfortunately you cannot pay for an abortion with dish towels. luckily our rad friend lucy is here to help! thanks for your donation! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/Aj4BBWBSS9
11 March 2020 : buck is getting sleepy but he just can’t stop fundraising! thank you katie! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/Jo111Mdhr2
11 March 2020 : otto is disgusted that it can cost $1500 to get an abortion in virginia but he’s very grateful to samuel for the donation to ensure abortion access for all! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/oCGeqQFsVC
11 March 2020 : otto is dreaming of reproductive justice & it’s a sweet dream thanks to donations from people like laura & jake 💕 https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/vnteN2xvCe
11 March 2020 : buck is suiting up to fund some abortions! thanks, tyler! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/liaOLhzqoC
11 March 2020 : they keep asking me to refresh the page. they were very excited to see laura’s donation! thank you, laura! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/EO4RPrw5DL
11 March 2020 : get in lori, we’re funding abortions! (thank you!!) https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/OYUOJTHSV6
11 March 2020 : otto has never actually experienced hardship of any kind, so he’s taking the news that some people can’t afford abortion care pretty hard! luckily people like lucia are donating to make sure everyone gets the care they need! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/LvPnwBruI0
11 March 2020 : the boys are double checking the figures & they can’t believe we’ve already broken $1000!! thank you so much, josh! pic.twitter.com/m56c0V6Foo
11 March 2020 : buck can’t even bear to look - the donations are coming in so fast it’s making him dizzy! thank you, anonymous friend! https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331 pic.twitter.com/QFkq3J0Ryb
11 March 2020 : maybe we’ll do something crazy this year. like if we raise $25,000 i’ll livestream myself getting a dog tattoo 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ https://fund.nnaf.org/fundraiser/2710331
10 March 2020 : classic white guys, you and i
10 March 2020 : sounds impolite
9 March 2020 : big stocks to hold the big stockholders pic.twitter.com/IUNeKaN7g8
8 March 2020 : you’re the best
8 March 2020 : i challenge you to find an example where it isn’t
7 March 2020 : i’m going to call the working class’s manager
6 March 2020 : get a whole black bloc surrounding the stage
5 March 2020 : https://twitter.com/garbage_hime/status/1235656549839724544?s=20
5 March 2020 : https://twitter.com/brianvan/status/1235653301913489412?s=20
5 March 2020 : https://twitter.com/jhermann/status/1235653743514877954?s=20
5 March 2020 : live your dream. get that egg tree.
5 March 2020 : also: https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1167900260942766080?s=20
5 March 2020 : @ everyone agreeing with T here: have you ever seen him shouting at a line of riot cops that if he had a time machine, he would kill baby hitler?
4 March 2020 : i'm sure you'll see what i mean in milwaukee
4 March 2020 : his political takes online have been questionable but he is a treasure in person.
3 March 2020 : nice work, thelma
3 March 2020 : i’m extremely wholesome
3 March 2020 : sometimes i feel bad when my reply gets more likes than the original tweet but not this time.
3 March 2020 : he should just make a lewd alt like all the other perverts
3 March 2020 : t, why?
3 March 2020 : it took me a minute to realize this post wasn’t missing a word and this was indeed exactly what you meant to say.
2 March 2020 : you’re gonna have to mute ‘grandpa’
29 February 2020 : RT @EmilyGorcenski: I hadn’t noticed that Andy digitally manipulated the pre-transition photo of me that he used, but that’s par for the co…
29 February 2020 : i’ve died
29 February 2020 : can one of you meme the boyfriend looking at the other woman and the girlfriend is mad meme where the boyfriend is sam salazar and the other woman is ben daley and the sad girlfriend is derrick? she’s very much in love with daley.
29 February 2020 : truly horrible
29 February 2020 : his last fiancée is married to one of cantwell’s few remaining fans now
29 February 2020 : lol yes.
28 February 2020 : absolutely top tier testimony about incredibly brave conduct. it really is rare. i’m lucky to have seen him do it and luckier still to have seen him acquitted for it.
27 February 2020 : she was great
24 February 2020 : if anything, allowing a woman to take such a prestigious honor makes you a feminist, josh.
21 February 2020 : oh i’m so sorry
15 February 2020 : they obviously didn’t teach him well enough. he clearly doesn’t know what it means.
15 February 2020 : no
14 February 2020 : both of those people are my actual friends in real life. they know how old i am. they’re just making fun of me.
14 February 2020 : they haven’t changed the law yet. sex is still a crime here.
12 February 2020 : 😒
12 February 2020 : i’m innocent and chaste
12 February 2020 : t, you KNOW FULL WELL andrea would view forcing her to watch this video as sexual harassment.
12 February 2020 : if you haven't already soiled your eyes and brain with this, please don't.
11 February 2020 : @takethecannoli7 she was in touch with williams? he's been dead for several years.
11 February 2020 : cheer up, james madison was 5'4"
11 February 2020 : he will slap you much harder than he swatted that horrible woman (which was good and correct)
11 February 2020 : i covered my mouth in genuine horror!
11 February 2020 : watching this more than once, watching this with the full knowledge and anticipation of how it ends, is a sin.
11 February 2020 : i was a little grossed out but unimpressed until the very last second, when i screamed NO out loud and woke up the dogs
10 February 2020 : thrilled to hear cats swept the oscars. best film of 2019.
7 February 2020 : and now the misinformation spread by the charlottesville police has made its way into a piece from CNN. @CvilleCityHall , you have an obligation to correct the record. https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/06/us/charlottesville-slave-auction-plaque-missing-trnd/index.html
6 February 2020 : RT @tgracchus1848: after getting requested, asked, pleaded, & even scolded to do so, i’m putting this out there. if i know you personally y…
6 February 2020 : oddly, the police appear unaware of the fresh swastika that was spray painted at the site of the heather heyer memorial just a few blocks away from the site of the theft of this remembrance of enslaved people. perhaps there’s a connection there.
6 February 2020 : the police are trying to spin a narrative in which antiracists stole this historical marker, the only marker in that space that remembers enslaved people. it’s far more likely this plaque was stolen as an act of retaliation by racists who are upset the statues will come down.
6 February 2020 : i just read that press release and rolled my eyes so hard they fell out
6 February 2020 : anyway, i’m not specifically accusing an individual. (unlike the confederates, who called the police en masse to accuse me of vandalizing their participation trophies.) i’m simply pointing to a pattern of behavior that would help someone steal a plaque in broad daylight.
6 February 2020 : the confederates are angry about this bill. they’re angry their false history is being challenged. they’re angry it’s black history month. they’re angry history will remember them as villains. they’ll tell you this is about heritage not hate. that’s a lie. https://twitter.com/Jalane_Schmidt/status/1225446988222812162
6 February 2020 : those racist statues’ days are numbered. the virginia legislature is nearly certain to pass a law that would allow us to take them down. the bill made it out of senate committee monday. it goes before a house committee tomorrow.
6 February 2020 : all i’m saying is, there is a documented history of local confederate assholes posing as cops or city employees while they fantasize about vigilante violence against people opposed to their racist statues.
6 February 2020 : or the rent a cop that the gordonsville SCV admits to hiring to watch over this statue. https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1203886785962622977?s=21
6 February 2020 : or another local racist, perhaps hired by the gordonsville camp of the sons of confederate veterans, who also claimed to be a city employee while harassing me in the same park https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1203521214913941505?s=21
6 February 2020 : in light of a historic marker being stolen in broad daylight, i’m thinking about a local racist who has posed as city staff in order to “protect” a racist monument in the not so distant past https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1194315125265772551
6 February 2020 : do not introduce such things into the universe!!!
3 February 2020 : i can't help it
3 February 2020 : i think the baby peanut is cute
3 February 2020 : unless it's changed, you don't have to make one of the live webinars! i just watched a video and took a quiz! less than 20 minutes from deciding to try it out to sending my first texts.
2 February 2020 : i enjoyed this movie. it is not good but it was good to watch.
2 February 2020 : i’m gonna mute all the politics words
2 February 2020 : i love her
2 February 2020 : more thelma please
2 February 2020 : can we please go to the civil war dinosaur park
2 February 2020 : dachshund is the correct number one choice.
2 February 2020 : i usually suggest fishing
1 February 2020 : wow
1 February 2020 : i found a bad food tweet i would not eat https://twitter.com/smoothmommy/status/1223006110136668160?s=21
1 February 2020 : please do not tell me what a balloon fetish entails. i wish to remain oblivious.
1 February 2020 : how DARE you
1 February 2020 : i’m invincible
1 February 2020 : interesting how everyone agrees with me
1 February 2020 : i would!
30 January 2020 : it's not called that if you make it at home
30 January 2020 : one time i made and ate a cheeseburger on donuts and it was pretty ok.
30 January 2020 : the cookie burger is absolutely better than whatever national politics discourse is going on
30 January 2020 : ok but i would eat that 🤷‍♀️
29 January 2020 : augustus invictus had a hearing yesterday in his ongoing criminal case over kidnapping his wife at gunpoint and a google search not only brings up nothing about the hearing, but shows me this ad for a 4 year old article about his run for florida senate. pic.twitter.com/NGEEWPIqHO
27 January 2020 : and you are not canceled.
27 January 2020 : what is prayer if not being a reply guy for god?
24 January 2020 : would go great with the tattoo on the back of your neck. the living embodiment of left unity.
24 January 2020 : i promise you your south carolinian ancestors are not worse than mine. i strive every day to live in a way that would make them roll over in their graves.
23 January 2020 : will this be what gets you canceled?
23 January 2020 : beneath the sea?
23 January 2020 : i’m so grateful to have had so many real problems this week that i have completely escaped The Discourse
22 January 2020 : it’s awful? i thought it would be nerdy but at least like actually kinda decent. i was very wrong!
20 January 2020 : it’s a bit small and grainy, but can anyone tell me exactly what this symbol is? purely idle curiosity. if it helps, the other insignia present was a valknut pic.twitter.com/gcjNZU1OQA
18 January 2020 : hell yeah
17 January 2020 : it’s called journalism, t
16 January 2020 : sometimes you just see a take so aggressively bad it makes you need to lie down
16 January 2020 : i’m gonna start DMing people your venmo, T
15 January 2020 : no one can make me stop
14 January 2020 : @DaleGrungus haven’t you been saying for months amy should be wearing glasses?!
13 January 2020 : imagine NOT having a crush on kira. i can't.
12 January 2020 : wait what
12 January 2020 : @tgracchus1848 why would you show me this horror
12 January 2020 : i bet they have a nice cabin in the woods.
12 January 2020 : YES
11 January 2020 : made out of a blanket
11 January 2020 : as a former horse girl, that phrase really chaps my ass.
11 January 2020 : that rules
11 January 2020 : i routinely forget you have that anarchy symbol permanently inked on your body and it’s funny every time i remember
11 January 2020 : no honestly what the fuck is going on here
10 January 2020 : i saw this and decided not to tell you. it was naive of me to think i could protect you from this knowledge.
9 January 2020 : i guess what i’m realizing is, i have similar taste in candy to a horrible little english child.
9 January 2020 : oh my god i love those gross little things
9 January 2020 : it’s the absolute best bad chocolate out there
9 January 2020 : just like justin bieber.
8 January 2020 : sorry, all i can hear is this https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1191387062232133634?s=20
7 January 2020 : it's like you're trying to hurt me
7 January 2020 : ah, my beautiful hometown
7 January 2020 : i would venture to say that it absolutely for sure is
7 January 2020 : i mean if i replaced eggs with literally any other food i can guarantee it would be worse. so like, they need to offer nutritional advice with that in mind. is four eggs every day worse than eating candy for dinner, for example.
7 January 2020 : a hard boiled egg is a convenient and delicious snack goddamnit.
7 January 2020 : i was googling “can you eat too many eggs” the other day while eating several eggs and i didn’t like the results.
7 January 2020 : i have the fastest thumbs on the eastern seaboard
7 January 2020 : it’s night time
6 January 2020 : what? no... a TRANS EXCLUSIONARY wedding by definition would not have any trans people. they'd be excluded. due to being trans. because trans exclusionary "feminists" are bigots. and probably throw terribly boring weddings.
6 January 2020 : 🤔
6 January 2020 : @tgracchus1848 was so excited to say this to me that he said it before any actual cats appeared on screen.
6 January 2020 : no that's a good idea
5 January 2020 : he wrote that during the election!
5 January 2020 : my congressman loves bigfoot erotica
3 January 2020 : that bot? believe it or not, it did 9/11.
3 January 2020 : iraq? did 9/11. the quds? they did 9/11. guy who got the last blueberry muffin at the breakfast buffet before mike pence got there? he did 9/11.
1 January 2020 : love a gender inclusive mob culture
1 January 2020 : the right honorable boner law
1 January 2020 : there’s always next year
1 January 2020 : all italian people will tell you they have a great uncle who was in the mob. it is simply a fact of life.
1 January 2020 : it truly is the year of the rat
1 January 2020 : but only as a treat.
1 January 2020 : me, both before & after the movie: when do we find out what a jellicle is?
1 January 2020 : OH YES
1 January 2020 : capitalism is a failure of resource allocation
1 January 2020 : i'm going to scream the entire time so it really is best if no one else is there
1 January 2020 : fingers crossed no one else buys a ticket and @tgracchus1848 and i will have the theater entirely to ourselves for a matinee showing of CATS tomorrow pic.twitter.com/syW9a0oVZF
1 January 2020 : can’t you catholics just reset whenever you want by whispering through a screen to a man in a dress?
1 January 2020 : we absolutely cannot allow thin eyebrows or low rise jeans to return.
1 January 2020 : accurate though
1 January 2020 : https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1202411037657649152?s=21
1 January 2020 : @tgracchus1848 someone's trying to fight you for it
1 January 2020 : we're all gonna die anyway
1 January 2020 : but it looks so upsetting.
1 January 2020 : GOOD MORNING URSULA, GET READY FOR A BIG BIRD TASTE TEST
1 January 2020 : i read all the replies and rapidly reached semantic satiation on “josh” and no longer believe it’s a real name.
1 January 2020 : josh chat
31 December 2019 : i am so glad we live in a country where the federal government helps out poor health insurance company CEOs like this. it’s beautiful.
31 December 2019 : wow this is a grave injustice
31 December 2019 : pretend someone wrote something mean on your coffee cup
31 December 2019 : it’s like a cake but a little worse?
31 December 2019 : droneleigh blew up when her parents told her she couldn’t access her trust fund early
31 December 2019 : semper fam
30 December 2019 : there has to be a more accurate word for what those are than “books”
30 December 2019 : it isn't necessary.
29 December 2019 : he's also just deeply unpleasant on a personal level and even if you didn't know who he was, after speaking to him once, i doubt you'd agree to meet in person.
29 December 2019 : i need help
27 December 2019 : i wish it were sooner. i can’t wait.
26 December 2019 : oh wow yes
25 December 2019 : i’m sorry you’re alone this christmas
25 December 2019 : you absolutely have got to stop this immediately.
24 December 2019 : i’m not worried. you wouldn’t dare.
23 December 2019 : buck would absolutely eat a raw puffin heart
23 December 2019 : yes but i have to watch the hobbit fuck while sitting between my parents, which is abusive to me.
23 December 2019 : it is also an uncomfortably horny movie to watch with one’s family
23 December 2019 : it’s an ensemble cast with a bunch of interwoven storylines but my mom hates one of the storylines so every time it cuts to that character’s story it’s a frantic scramble to fast forward to skip it. a beautiful holiday tradition.
23 December 2019 : it’s a nightmare. every relationship depicted as “love” is abusive and weird.
23 December 2019 : my family tradition is my mom makes us watch love actually, which is actually the worst christmas movie ever made.
23 December 2019 : i don’t think i’ve ever seen more than a few minutes of it but i believe you
22 December 2019 : pic.twitter.com/gmqEpeDWRl
20 December 2019 : i’m not even kidding, we’re going to see this movie. just tell me when.
19 December 2019 : https://youtu.be/cMESRatAG04
19 December 2019 : i can’t be trusted to watch this in a movie theater. i WILL scream.
19 December 2019 : you know i want in on this upsetting cinematic experience
16 December 2019 : i’ve chosen to block out any knowledge of it. just smiling serenely as i scroll on past. as far as i know, this “IG report” people are talking about has something to do with instagram.
15 December 2019 : is this marriage story?
15 December 2019 : they want smaller eggs!
15 December 2019 : oh my dogs love eggs! they get egg at least once a week.
14 December 2019 : this was plaintiffs’ counsel, so they definitely didn’t lose them on purpose! in their defense, mailing things to the vendor is standard practice. this just... really sucks.
12 December 2019 : this one came with a thin blue line paint job
10 December 2019 : what temperature is a take so puzzling that it gets zero engagement? no outrage. no agreement. just a strange note left hanging in the air after the hot take orchestra has gone silent.
6 December 2019 : at least put it on top of some rice or something. don't just leave that butter puddle out there alone like that.
6 December 2019 : i should clarify that i would absolutely eat it and probably enjoy it but that is probably further evidence that it is Not Good.
6 December 2019 : it looks both wet and bland
6 December 2019 : i kept thinking "surely they will dry it off a little before serving it" right up until they started pouring butter onto the plate
6 December 2019 : i’m signing you up to get trump’s tweets texted directly to your phone
5 December 2019 : he’s the rock
5 December 2019 : i don't know enough art words to say this right but i love the scribbly desert brush. scrub brush is one of my favorite landscapes and i feel like it doesn't get fair representation in art.
3 December 2019 : i love this extremely chill little dude
3 December 2019 : show us the dog again
28 November 2019 : no he just reads all my posts from the browser
27 November 2019 : somebody got demoted pic.twitter.com/luL0tgFSPq
25 November 2019 : i’m a gifted chef
24 November 2019 : the 1860s were a time of peace and prosperity in america right? i can’t remember.
24 November 2019 : keep posting, nehlen. the feds called me about you last month. they're obviously watching. https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1189212434252337153
21 November 2019 : they make gluten free pasta and the cheese... well, it is comforting at first.
21 November 2019 : pasta with cheese, every time.
21 November 2019 : no, everyone has a stomach ache all the time and tears off all their cuticles until they bleed. this is normal.
21 November 2019 : i’m mad 🍠🍠😡
21 November 2019 : i just don’t understand how you could hate the humble sweet potato.
21 November 2019 : that made my tummy hurt to read
21 November 2019 : milk is for babies, NOT adults
21 November 2019 : you have to stop telling people about your bad sweet potato opinion.
20 November 2019 : thank you for blessing me with the dog video
20 November 2019 : he’s very good
20 November 2019 : i like the dog.
20 November 2019 : it looks like someone didn’t like my post
20 November 2019 : https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1103784041478844416?s=21
20 November 2019 : it took me like 28 years but i finally see the wisdom of cranberry sauce
19 November 2019 : two words: oxen diagram
19 November 2019 : every morning i stir a big spoonful of instant espresso into a tall glass of cold almond milk because i’m a fucking animal.
19 November 2019 : is 7 a choice
18 November 2019 : my inability/refusal to learn the difference between any of these groups leads me to agree
18 November 2019 : 😂😂 thank you
18 November 2019 : and got convicted
18 November 2019 : molly (and the judge that convicted you)
18 November 2019 : HE’S NOT MAD! HE’S ACTUALLY LAUGHING. JUST SO YOU KNOW!
18 November 2019 : he even labeled it https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1170010558743154690?s=21
17 November 2019 : i applaud your commitment to posting
14 November 2019 : look at him pic.twitter.com/aiBZS2dxRi
14 November 2019 : no no it’s someone who hates faces
13 November 2019 : that’s socialism for you
13 November 2019 : lol pic.twitter.com/Bfi8hmBPaZ
13 November 2019 : pic.twitter.com/BuxDIwQBvy
12 November 2019 : and then they leap onto the couch and vigorously dry themselves on the upholstery 😂
12 November 2019 : the real troops
10 November 2019 : it’s true that people don’t tip sometimes but it is absolutely not ok.
8 November 2019 : 🙅‍♀️
7 November 2019 : oh no. the human body is 98 degrees fahrenheit. 9 + 8 = 17 = Q. we are all Q? where we go one we go all?
7 November 2019 : i’m so excited!!!
5 November 2019 : the most painful thing that has ever happened to me was a dental abcess. thought i was gonna die! nature, do better!
5 November 2019 : why do i need to be able to feel my teeth. seems cruel.
4 November 2019 : this is unfair
4 November 2019 : no!!!!! i will try to hunt it down. it’s a treasure.
3 November 2019 : oh that’s a really good cat
3 November 2019 : oh no @NeolithicSheep is trying to convince me to keep this cat pic.twitter.com/WMkEIPC0NP
3 November 2019 : the hint of cinnamon is just masterful. so subtly autumnal.
2 November 2019 : i’ve never gamed
2 November 2019 : that’s right.
2 November 2019 : omg let me hug the baby goats. just name the time and place.
2 November 2019 : you gotta come along one of these times
2 November 2019 : omg what a cutie
1 November 2019 : until we hit the next town with a mcdonald’s & i post video of them having their nuggets
1 November 2019 : cool, we can just have a nice little get together without them!
1 November 2019 : headed south, sadly!
1 November 2019 : funny enough to get you ten days for contempt
31 October 2019 : cathey is extremely online and somehow not improving with practice
31 October 2019 : i’ve read the entire post again and there is really a lot of ass talk.
31 October 2019 : i... missed that on my first reading.
31 October 2019 : sorry, i’m from virginia beach and this is correct
31 October 2019 : you can’t make me
30 October 2019 : we gotta make buttons
30 October 2019 : this is making me long for PACER. absolute madness. you can’t by case number?! and there are duplicate entries for the exact same party name search but the duplicate record doesn’t have all the associated records attached to it?!
30 October 2019 : we are legion
29 October 2019 : i haven’t!
29 October 2019 : he’s VERY sensitive about it
29 October 2019 : that’s the one
29 October 2019 : careful, ryan is really sensitive about pee jokes
29 October 2019 : the secret actually seems to be getting called ugly by thousands of people online. it’s only making me hotter and more powerful. pretty fucked up, honestly.
29 October 2019 : ❤️
29 October 2019 : who?
27 October 2019 : oh no are we related?
25 October 2019 : @tgracchus1848 he called you a really dumb ghost. are you gonna take this?
24 October 2019 : i’m so upset about feetloaf
24 October 2019 : oh i already did https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1017215785331232768?s=21
24 October 2019 : damnit i was gonna say that
24 October 2019 : tim ryan is truly the forgotten person tim ryan speaks for
24 October 2019 : who is this man and when was he running for president?
23 October 2019 : i can’t believe i don’t go apple picking every year! the orchard is like two miles from my house!
23 October 2019 : why do you hate us and want us to suffer, t?
20 October 2019 : ❤️
17 October 2019 : oh my god that thread is like 50 tweets long
16 October 2019 : surely not me
16 October 2019 : causing problems before cville weekly before they ever even hired & fired me 😎
13 October 2019 : oh c’mon i’ve never worked in food and even i knew about this
13 October 2019 : i would simply tell him to go to hell, but this works too
12 October 2019 : let’s burn some stuff
12 October 2019 : we could burn stuff sober
9 October 2019 : @hsojjosh2 @FartwebdotCom @chick_in_kiev @neoandromedai log off josh. work on developing some empathy.
9 October 2019 : how fucking dare you tell a parent not to fear that their small child may be shot at their house of worship.
9 October 2019 : can’t you just enjoy a nice normal book
8 October 2019 : what part of the human body is the klonopin?
8 October 2019 : i’m starting to this this boomer isn’t quite the expert in online communications she claims to be
8 October 2019 : who is suggesting this. i will fight them, andrea. i will fight them all.
7 October 2019 : i can’t wait - it’s gonna be a packed house
6 October 2019 : i am 30 now, one foot in the grave
6 October 2019 : what’s one more genocide, right?
6 October 2019 : all that racist stuff i said & the murders i confessed to? those were just jokes! damn, people really are ungrateful around here!
5 October 2019 : sounds good as hell
4 October 2019 : that’s ok, i’m mad enough for both of us
3 October 2019 : you're never gonna stop filthposting.
1 October 2019 : congrats on your new gig doing the tweets for a horny snack food brand
25 September 2019 : i still have a lot of nightmares about high school calculus tests
25 September 2019 : better you than me, i guess
25 September 2019 : this is confusing and upsetting
24 September 2019 : wow
23 September 2019 : while it was previously reported in the media that mcmahon’s lawyer said the detention hearing would be today, the court clerk says the hearing is not today and has not been scheduled... stay tuned!
23 September 2019 : i only like the bad takes.
23 September 2019 : apparently his dad did offer their second home
22 September 2019 : i want to see a hotdog race so bad!
22 September 2019 : pic.twitter.com/H4OoAs7hdl
22 September 2019 : he brought this on himself
22 September 2019 : this is a double ratio - your post has more replies than likes and a reply has more likes than the original post pic.twitter.com/uLrxr9MDlG
22 September 2019 : from inside the panopticon you can watch all star treks simultaneously
21 September 2019 : capitalism gives you the choice of several different hospitals to die in because you couldn’t afford to get treatment sooner!
21 September 2019 : i honestly hate choosing and wish there was a store like this near me
21 September 2019 : i’m just saying you sometimes want bad things that a normal person doesn’t and shouldn’t want.
21 September 2019 : you ate a bunch of dimes
17 September 2019 : or a savory jalapeño cheesecake
17 September 2019 : so what you’re saying is you are aroused by the idea of a gang of lesbians beating you up for saying this
17 September 2019 : "vic mackey," the self styled "HBIC" of the mass shooter worshipping fan cult the bowl patrol has a real name. he loves telling people my name & address. all i want is his name. it seems only fair. https://www.nate-thayer.com/help-me-identify-nazi-white-supremacist-vic-mackey-who-wants-to-murder-jews-blacks-journalists-and-rape-my-dog-and-murder-me-with-a-baseball-bat/
17 September 2019 : this is somebody's neighbor. somebody's coworker. somebody's high school classmate. he's also someone who is doing his damnedest to get someone to rape & murder me. https://www.nate-thayer.com/help-me-identify-nazi-white-supremacist-vic-mackey-who-wants-to-murder-jews-blacks-journalists-and-rape-my-dog-and-murder-me-with-a-baseball-bat/ pic.twitter.com/JPy3TlY9PA
16 September 2019 : very cool & good!
16 September 2019 : i hate it when my horoscope tells me not to vaccinate my kids
16 September 2019 : i’m an illegalist
15 September 2019 : tell him santa won’t bring the new iphones if he doesn’t go home & go to sleep
15 September 2019 : hey don’t lump me in with these perverts.
14 September 2019 : i assumed he meant he’d wet his pants
14 September 2019 : i smoked out the window on a train once. the sign said 🚭 but it was in france so i figured they didn’t mean it.
13 September 2019 : ❤️
11 September 2019 : i like that the key doesn’t even have a category for 40 or even 50! hours or less! very cool!
10 September 2019 : oh my god it’s spreading. this is horrible.
10 September 2019 : oh no what hell have you released onto this website
10 September 2019 : yes.
10 September 2019 : disappointed to learn the encounter refers to the number of times you saw a doctor about it not the number of times you lost a fight with a small mammal
10 September 2019 : genocide is allowed until you get caught hurting the real victims: money.
10 September 2019 : in fact this post deserves to be ratioed.
10 September 2019 : while this is a good joke that correctly distills the emotional tone of many of my least favorite posts, i cannot fave this.
9 September 2019 : my fallopian tubes are zero-waste. they can use every part of the embryo.
9 September 2019 : cool, so the fetus dies regardless and was never a viable pregnancy so don’t even worry about it* (*except for the maybe half of patients who might die or whatever??? 🤷‍♀️)
9 September 2019 : as someone who refuses to click the link and read the article & is not a doctor, i gotta say: seems like they just want pregnant people to die!
9 September 2019 : the changing of the seasons. the air gets cooler, the days shorter, the lattes pumpkin spicier... they sense an election is near.
9 September 2019 : it’ll be like it is now but worse and for longer
8 September 2019 : pic.twitter.com/Ht6wR15ypu
6 September 2019 : there’s really no better outfit. it’s comfortable and practical.
6 September 2019 : i found three of those cookies in the freezer tonight while i was cleaning it out! they were still good!!!
6 September 2019 : i have now. either he gets a dog or a goat. his choice.
5 September 2019 : well that’s a bit uncalled for
4 September 2019 : how are nearly a million of y’all gonna watch this video and not one of you can DM me her name? https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1167873740719345665
2 September 2019 : what’s everybody fighting about today?
2 September 2019 : oh you mean the jeans you already wear most days?
30 August 2019 : i really and truly laughed out loud.
30 August 2019 : hahahahahahahaha
28 August 2019 : would not work for my hair
28 August 2019 : please help, @tgracchus1848 is trying to bully me into shaving my head
28 August 2019 : no it’s objectively hilarious to sincerely refer to something as a glory hole and not be referring to a hole between stalls in a truck stop bathroom.
28 August 2019 : damn now i really want some stupid macarons thanks a lot
27 August 2019 : ah, so that’s why masculinity is so fragile.
27 August 2019 : the quoted post is a researcher at media matters.
26 August 2019 : it could help
26 August 2019 : have you tried eating them with tortilla chips?
26 August 2019 : this is extremely important
25 August 2019 : i would eat this. it shouldn’t exist and i definitely wouldn’t go to the trouble of making it. but i’d eat it.
23 August 2019 : i hope once jimmy carter finally conquers the guinea worm he can direct his foundation to find a cure for this tragic strain of brain worm
23 August 2019 : be careful, there are kissinger defenders out here pic.twitter.com/LaWEFBvy5w
21 August 2019 : please do not explain “piss christ” to me. i do not wish to know.
19 August 2019 : i do not have what you’d call the best luck
19 August 2019 : one time a log fell off one of those log trucks and i hit it going 75 and all my tires exploded and i was so traumatized by the absolute final destination experience that it never even occurred to me to try to file a claim against the truck it fell off of
19 August 2019 : a couple years ago a tow truck driver accidentally took the SUV he was trying to hook up out of park?! and knocked it down a hill? where it then ended up partially on top of my parked car. explaining to my insurance company that my car was in an accident with no drivers was hard.
19 August 2019 : @TLNewmanMTL i am, thank you, terry.
19 August 2019 : well, to be fair my legal name is madeleine blair conger but my parents have been calling me molly since before i was born.
19 August 2019 : why the quotes “terry”?
19 August 2019 : having a very ugly laugh at a quillette writer shouting about the dangers of disseminating information that would make journalists a target for violence when they recently engaged in the laundering of fascist propaganda that landed friends of mine on literal kill lists.
19 August 2019 : a writer for quillette, a publication that literally collaborates with fascists, doesn’t seem to understand the list function on twitter dot com https://twitter.com/tlnewmanmtl/status/1163263374966345728
18 August 2019 : i’m fine with it.
17 August 2019 : there are many for whom the threat of criminalization will be an effective deterrent to action. but this is exactly why you cannot look away, you cannot remain on the sidelines, you cannot remain in the center. the center is gone.
17 August 2019 : of course they will try to criminalize our resistantance to the rise of fascism. that’s what fascism does. pic.twitter.com/BYi84OUvZZ
17 August 2019 : my troubled pants are full of expired fruits of the spirit
16 August 2019 : https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1086834750462009344?s=21
16 August 2019 : OK BUT IS IT WRONG? pic.twitter.com/cnv09ZfeJw
16 August 2019 : sounds like a cult pic.twitter.com/5CtUBBX0zO
16 August 2019 : i downloaded another horoscope app in the hopes that one of them will tell me what i want to hear.
15 August 2019 : what about.... illegal poultry eggs?
15 August 2019 : you bet
15 August 2019 : i was into interesting rocks as a kid
14 August 2019 : parking garage aesthetic, don’t care for it. (gonna get canceled for this)
13 August 2019 : this is getting... heated 🌶
12 August 2019 : i believe it refers to firing a shot
11 August 2019 : that’s a yikes from me
11 August 2019 : RESISTING INVASION.
11 August 2019 : jesus fucking christ.
11 August 2019 : he looks like he’s definitely said that a few times
10 August 2019 : RT @socialistdogmom: sign the petition to close the 4th street vehicle crossing here: https://t.co/j56YfTBF5z
9 August 2019 : weird how vanguard america has been unwilling to comply with discovery for a year and a half!
7 August 2019 : that’s a beautiful bean aspic
6 August 2019 : there are a couple wild pigs in chambers though
6 August 2019 : i wish 30-50 feral hogs would break up this meeting
6 August 2019 : hog meat for the whole town!
3 August 2019 : is that for a dog?
3 August 2019 : 521-493. glad it passed but a little discouraged by those numbers.
3 August 2019 : refraining from posting about this bad meeting is physically hurting me
3 August 2019 : @tgracchus1848 can help you with that
31 July 2019 : intimidating my political enemies by eating an entire piglet with a pocket knife on the convention floor
31 July 2019 : how many granola bars do you think i can eat?!
31 July 2019 : ugh remind me to go to the store tomorrow and buy four days’ worth of calories in granola bars or something
30 July 2019 : i’m just driving ten hours each way for the scheduled 9.5 hours of debate about the governance of this big terrible organization. probably gonna skip everything else.
30 July 2019 : i’m sure we can arrange that
30 July 2019 : you KNOW i don’t drink and hate fun
30 July 2019 : yes show us the cauldron!
30 July 2019 : at least 8 of those ways involve more cheese right?
30 July 2019 : you’re just afraid of the chicken log
30 July 2019 : i mean i can’t and won’t cook but if someone served me the loaf (gluten free) i would eat the loaf.
30 July 2019 : never speak to me again
30 July 2019 : i have two superpowers: the ability to safely eat potato salad left in the sun & i can burp on command (it’s very impressive and quite alarming how much air my small body can hold)
30 July 2019 : i mean i have celiac disease so i had like twenty solid years of a fucked up stomach but i’ve never had actual food poisoning.
30 July 2019 : @eponawest @extremely_wet @CNNRGLDN HAM SHIELD
30 July 2019 : jesus christ dude how many times do i have to soft block you
30 July 2019 : i’ve never had food poisoning and i’m the most careless person on earth. bring it on, weird loaf.
30 July 2019 : i’m invincible
30 July 2019 : i genuinely hate to agree with connor but my only issue with this was the ham. i would happily eat this weird monster loaf.
29 July 2019 : chugging a solo cup full of milk to own the libs pic.twitter.com/qurhb05Nav
29 July 2019 : i love the library!!!
29 July 2019 : public libraries are one of the few unambiguously good things left in this horrible fucked up country
29 July 2019 : no! it’s 2019! most libraries have pretty good sized digital collections. my library has an app you can use to borrow ebooks and audiobooks right to your phone or computer or kindle or whatever
29 July 2019 : if not there, check @Scribd , the first 30 days are free and they have a pretty good selection & the app is really easy to use
29 July 2019 : check your local library! most public libraries have a sizable collection of audiobooks you can check out for free
29 July 2019 : i’m reminded now of the time i was admonished for not being “nice” in my coverage of a city council retreat last year https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1075094269302579200?s=21
29 July 2019 : NICE IS NOT THE SAME AS KIND! i will scream this from a mountaintop until my throat is raw.
29 July 2019 : again?!
29 July 2019 : gonna find out the names of the 1/3 of respondents who voted for “arrogance and laziness” and give them a piece of my mind
29 July 2019 : these are all things that are either not true or not bad qualities
28 July 2019 : no one @ me about this, it’s my right as a queer person to make this joke.
28 July 2019 : @lyftrs look i’m sorry, a gay man’s husband being named “CHASTEN BOOTYJUDGE” is cartoonish. hi, i’m a lesbian running for president and this is my wife PRUDENCE MCSCISSORSFORD
27 July 2019 : aren’t there like seven of them
27 July 2019 : i don’t think i’ve seen any movies in this franchise
27 July 2019 : i want to watch this bad movie very badly
24 July 2019 : the charges, as reported, are that she failed to return several devices after leaving her position. because if the value of those devices, she’s been charged with felony embezzlement. surely they asked her politely to return them before charging her with a felony.
24 July 2019 : let me ride the big cow
24 July 2019 : i want to kiss the cow’s nose
24 July 2019 : let me ride the battle cattle on the convention floor
24 July 2019 : also, bring ‘em. bring everything. i’m gonna clean the trash out of my car so there’s plenty of room.
24 July 2019 : do you know how to read the magic cards??
24 July 2019 : do you own a tarot deck?!
23 July 2019 : @NeolithicSheep ’s quail are really out of control
23 July 2019 : to paraphrase @tgracchus1848 - in the US, social media influencers convince people to drink their bathwater. in puerto rico, they lead biker battalions for freedom. https://twitter.com/jadrovet/status/1153455648065183744?s=21
21 July 2019 : everyday carry
21 July 2019 : let 👏 me 👏 ride 👏 the 👏 cow
21 July 2019 : raising an army of quail
21 July 2019 : @SenTedCruz why are you so scared of me?
21 July 2019 : extremely niche content
20 July 2019 : and they didn't typically use female-type dummies at all until fifteen years ago, well after the creation of women.
20 July 2019 : RT @socialistdogmom: *gesturing broadly* https://t.co/q3V8j1RVfV
18 July 2019 : chicago, get to the airport. https://twitter.com/aaanmarkaz/status/1151952547546062851
18 July 2019 : oh that makes sense
18 July 2019 : my assumption has always been that it’s a way to signal to the US viewer that these people are “other” without upsetting us by making us listen to what we might deem an unsuitable foreign accent.
18 July 2019 : wow i hope she’s ok
18 July 2019 : this is extremely real
18 July 2019 : oh wow they’re getting big!
18 July 2019 : buck loves me so fiercely there’s just not much room left in his small, sweet heart for anyone else
18 July 2019 : 😍
18 July 2019 : https://twitter.com/socialistdogmom/status/1063305507606315008
18 July 2019 : are my dogs tweeting from your account
17 July 2019 : (the image is one they use a lot - it’s nehlen with mass murderer dylan’s roof’s bowl cut added on. the headband says “kill jews” - the bowl cut replaces the MAGA hat he is wearing in the original photo) pic.twitter.com/uib2LdIJDS
17 July 2019 : every time i use the translate function to read a tweet about that police chief that is in spanish, it changes his name to henry stairs & that really tickles me. fuck henry stairs.
16 July 2019 : lol i also developed a very high fever about halfway through the rally and was more sure i would die than at a rally where a blue lives matter bro pointed an AR at me.
16 July 2019 : oh no, i just showed up. i never have a plan.
16 July 2019 : very cool that the white house is just summarizing a racist cartoon from 1899
16 July 2019 : that's a really good idea.
16 July 2019 : it seems like a very big deal
15 July 2019 : it's my gift and everyone else's curse
15 July 2019 : i have it because it exists. why it exists, i do not know.
13 July 2019 : there was no better day than the days i could convince my dad in the grocery store line to let me get a copy of this most perfect publication
9 July 2019 : this version of batman’s origin story is more believable
7 July 2019 : lesbians don’t usually have husbands
2 July 2019 : chris, this isn't the culmination of a massive jewish conspiracy theory led by robbie kaplan. *i* had your email account suspended (this time, anyway) & i'm pretty sure the bowl gang took out your payment processor. you just have a wide variety of very different enemies. pic.twitter.com/cpAyrU4VSn
30 June 2019 : 😭
30 June 2019 : what about next weekend
29 June 2019 : as my rival for most powerful entity in town, bodo and i are having a feud https://twitter.com/cvillenews_desk/status/1144223872373469184
29 June 2019 : i didn’t realize you were a thin crust pizza chef
29 June 2019 : can you feed a vegan? i can’t picture it.
28 June 2019 : ❤️
26 June 2019 : the funniest part about that very common argument is it may not even be true... jennifer gonzalez has been real cozy with trump
25 June 2019 : if he was gonna be a snitch, he should've just done it a year ago. now he's a snitch AND the judge is upset with him AND he might still be liable for nearly $20k in attorney's fees plus whatever he owes kolenich.
4 June 2019 : RT @EmilyGorcenski: It still blows my mind that Trump went to a megachurch in Vienna, which is the far end of the DC Metro, and the media p…
16 May 2019 : @llijbe C O W Q U E S T
16 April 2019 : @lukeisamazing i don't and i won't
15 April 2019 : @tgracchus1848 sorry https://t.co/OBPTqNseSp
1 April 2019 : you probably enjoy this website more than i do
1 April 2019 : i have zero people blocked. it’s a long-standing personal policy. #theresistance may actually push me over the edge. actual nazis threatening to kill me i can handle. whiny centrists? gonna be the death of me.
1 April 2019 : yeah, the source is bad. but the videos are what they are. it’s unfortunate that the #resistance is sticking up for an obvious pedophile. it is really fucking demoralizing that taking sexual assault seriously is a political weapon rather than a priority.
1 April 2019 : approximately 1000 times joe biden was extremely fucking inappropriate with women & girls, a thread from a year and a half ago. (CW for sexual harassment and abuse, obviously. some of these videos are really upsetting) https://twitter.com/RAMRANTS/status/930065838387863552
26 March 2019 : all cops are bastards but something seems ESPECIALLY WRONG in chesterfield. it’s less than 3sq miles with a population under 4000 and i’ve read three national news stories in the last week about gross misconduct out of that department.
16 March 2019 : @NeolithicSheep introduce them to some farm life
5 March 2019 : @NeolithicSheep lotta different options, none appear to be corn
19 February 2019 : RT @tgracchus1848: @socialistdogmom Weird fact about time: 2017 was six hundred years ago.
18 February 2019 : @tgracchus1848 how many men have you imprisoned inside your phone?!
15 February 2019 : @CNNRGLDN https://t.co/yvZEXa8eDl
24 January 2019 : RT @eegnsma: Ford and General Motors receiving medals from Nazi Germany in 1938 vs Apple and Microsoft dining with Bolsonaro in 2019. https…
20 January 2019 : @Arpwel this is next level weird. and i’m saying that with the fact in mind that someone once created a whole account devoted to sexually harassing my miniature dachshunds.
10 January 2019 : RT @takeactionch: We've raised about $500 so far for Elijah and his family but are hoping to get to $1200 to get them through the month. Pl…
31 December 2018 : RT @EmilyGorcenski: Strong play by the anti-communist Nazi to flee to Cuba. https://t.co/aPgizxnVQ9
17 September 2018 : RT @carterforva: @socialistdogmom Joke's on them, I actually follow you just for the municipal government meeting minutes
6 September 2018 : @gr8grldefective very cool for DSA to spend a bunch of money to come to the conclusion that when a black man calls a white woman racist it’s “hate speech”
12 June 2018 : RT @bridgelesstroll: Have to laugh at the couple times a year someone reminds you there’s a furry Norse pagan white supremacist biker gang…
6 June 2018 : @NeolithicSheep @WhatBigTeeth you are both very dear to me ❤️❤️
29 May 2018 : RT @bridgelesstroll: The family of Marcus-David Lamar Peters has asked us to 1) March with them on Saturday & 2) Donate to make their work…
16 April 2018 : @benisyourhero yeah dude, them’s the rules apparently. bummer. (my dad being in the army is one of the least problematic things about my family history. these people are wild.)
15 April 2018 : @TheHipsterRebbe @PubicZirconium as a small adult, i’m glad i have options
16 March 2018 : @jakefm @internettara420 @wherestherevolt @loudandobvious @Waluishe_ @Carlyylra @spicyboyband @sarahekite @joofttweets @Nymeria941 @queenozymandias @totallynuanced @The_DirtyCommie @some_qualia @grungetitsrlit @TasteThisSass @cocksailor @baxbooksdeux @faceliketank in such great company here, thank you!
15 March 2018 : @jakefm can we get a sane person to weigh in on this? my guess is that it fucking rules but i have no idea.
13 March 2018 : @Werewoof_MD @Chinchillazllla oh how i wish they were small again! 😭 https://t.co/kwOeaT52a8
13 March 2018 : @voidsrus i am filled with regret https://t.co/zzZwb2fU2t
12 March 2018 : @Enchillahda i swear i’m coming back to it. i have like four pages of notes left to work through. had to take a break.
23 February 2018 : @Arpwel @kudzucommune @Mic_Dicta @jmlarock @BeastCoastPod i would be honored to call you a friend, comrade ❤️🌹 (but seriously i’d love to meet up next time i find myself in dc/if you’re ever near cville!)
14 February 2018 : @prosciuttopapi @liftrss oh man it really almost always was zucchini or that awful watery yellow squash
9 February 2018 : @MichaelBloomer8 @victoriaxxviii @parliawint @maltyhops @_chismosa_ @muhmentions @floozyesq @crulge @COINCELPRO @lib_crusher @ironghazi https://t.co/QxBfM14kdz
4 February 2018 : @jiveass_baloney @CalvinTigre @D_E_Harris @dickbutt_247 @AFN_P @Husaria @supaessjaydub yeah but his guy doesn’t shower, so he’s in the clear there
4 February 2018 : @dickbutt_247 @AFN_P @Husaria @jiveass_baloney @supaessjaydub @D_E_Harris are the only one still not blocked?!
3 February 2018 : @Corey_Spaniel @dickbutt_247 @CalvinTigre @CurtisRemarc @boomer_assassin @ProdigalFailson @shauewn @StefanMolyneux it’s all about branding. he’s sending mixed messages.
31 January 2018 : @NeatHeteroDude @liftrss you're his new biggest crush, i see.
31 January 2018 : @jiveass_baloney @liftrss i shouldn't be such a hypocrite. this is all just an elaborate catfishing attempt -- i am actually an old man who in fact has no dogs.
26 January 2018 : @craigdougscott @jmlarock @liftrss all DMs require an attorney https://t.co/CaGcvWb4xe
24 January 2018 : @baxbooksdeux @Styl_oh do men like small dogs more than women do? because i DEFINITELY have some followers who are just here for the boys. https://t.co/FU5eaR17Fj
23 January 2018 : @ronaldravegan correct choice on both counts.
20 January 2018 : @PubicZirconium @maltyhops @InternetHippo @pixelatedboat @pattymo @KrangTNelson it gets the goods. you just can’t argue with results.
17 January 2018 : @danieleharper @Vonnegutterball she is beautiful! and way dachsier looking than my sister’s chiweenie. what’s her name?
17 January 2018 : @baxbooksdeux garbage twitter, assemble! this is beautiful.
8 January 2018 : @liftrss i guess if your mom won’t let you smoke in the basement...
8 January 2018 : it’s not like i’m pressing pause on “the real work” for those takes. it’s not coming of my finite reserve of political energy. it’s coming out of my “googling ‘how tall is mahmoud ahmadinejad’ & ‘what are oprah’s dogs’ names” time. time’s fungible.
7 January 2018 : it’s wild that someone who thinks people with disabilities wanting to inform policy that affects them is just a ploy to build social capital WOULD ALSO be a transphobic piece of shit. who could’ve seen that coming? https://t.co/XlnPz25bBb
6 January 2018 : don’t forget: all men are trash. https://t.co/wdrtcXVV8O
2 January 2018 : @Styl_oh @liftrss @IHateNYT i never much cared for the whole “spoons” thing. what do i need with spoons? it’s fucks that i run out of.
1 January 2018 : RT @retcon_one: Solidarity Forever with incarcerated persons! May 2018 see the end of police and prisons! https://t.co/2s1dPpwOYi
31 December 2017 : RT @JacksonJLanders: Are you local to Charlottesville? We are looking for Molly Miller right TF now. She's my buddy's girlfriend, she has a…
30 December 2017 : @liftrss i love this
31 July 2010 : Um, dude? You can't ride your bike on the HIGHWAY. On the wrong side of the road, no less. And on your cell. #deathwish