8 July 2020 : omg
8 July 2020 : no. absolutely not. not clicking on this due to i enjoy being alive
8 July 2020 : s a m e :-) no insurance baby
9 July 2020 : i don’t know what pile is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask
9 July 2020 : read this directly after eating an el jefe’s breakfast burrito and missing The Gig
9 July 2020 : left to my own devices for ten minutes and i have procured Breakfast Ice Cream
10 July 2020 : u doin okay over there
11 July 2020 : i'm coming over
11 July 2020 : he's right and he should say it
11 July 2020 : what does he know that we don't
11 July 2020 : xP
11 July 2020 : THANK. YOU.
11 July 2020 : why does awake keep happening to me
12 July 2020 : you are CORRECT and you had me at chunks thank u
12 July 2020 : between my bangs tan line and my mask tan line my face looks like a gallon of neapolitan ice cream
12 July 2020 : i use it as essentially my “not a rando” list lol
12 July 2020 : i “go outside now” and for what? to suffer?
12 July 2020 : all of you and your little posts have me thinking about short skirts and long jackets
13 July 2020 : jork (jorts mork)
14 July 2020 : i have only answered one message all summer but this week i received one that said “i like your bangs but i don’t like communism so i’m conflicted.” buddy they are communist bangs
14 July 2020 : hey katie. what
14 July 2020 : okay this makes much more sense and i approve of breakfast potatoes as a name i was just worried you'd never had breakfast potatoes/home fries/whatever
15 July 2020 : my DUDE
16 July 2020 : jame,,, yes
16 July 2020 : watched my first episode of king of the hill last night and in it hank tells bobby to "play through the pain" (referring to football) and i am thinking of those words and manifesting that strength as i work on this bag of takis
16 July 2020 : i love pineapple on pizza and i love this pizza specifically
16 July 2020 : can you hear me yelling CONGRATULATIONS ANNA AND CHARLIE all the way from boston every time someone ignores the mention in an email
18 July 2020 : i love to cut through harvard yard and think about how much i love The Social Network (2010)
18 July 2020 : r i g h t
19 July 2020 : me even before the pandemic
19 July 2020 : not to be dramatic but it is too hot to exist
19 July 2020 : this is the first summer i feel like anything approaching myself and i can't even yell "IT TURNS OUT I RULE ACTUALLY" at a bar about it
19 July 2020 : thank you
19 July 2020 : me also as well
21 July 2020 : so many places it didn’t even occur to me to be worried about are closing down one by one what a garbage hell year
21 July 2020 : I KNOW, i thought of the whole crew, ugh; what a bummer. and the automatic closed for good, and i just found out the cantab shut down too.
21 July 2020 : RT @nicetryofficer : my anxieties have unionized
21 July 2020 : only ending arguments in this way from now on
22 July 2020 : i was JUST texting my friends about it i'm obsessed
23 July 2020 : every day (every single day) i think about the mountain goats show in brooklyn last april when john darnielle said, and this is a direct quote, "yeehaw is the cry of the revolution"
24 July 2020 : it is so embarrassing to "exist"
24 July 2020 : tonight, specifically, is a terrible time for me to listen to a new taylor swift album which of course means it is the perfect time for me to listen to a new taylor swift album
24 July 2020 : i sure the fuck hope so
24 July 2020 : THANK! U! also big agree on delicate as a top five
24 July 2020 : i agree
24 July 2020 : i think what taylor swift is saying in this album is that i, specifically, am going to be okay
24 July 2020 : RT @Disneyland2go : folklore: the ride is coming soon. you will sit in a room and cry
24 July 2020 : no girl in history has changed her homeroom over a boy sorry those are just the facts
24 July 2020 : laughin because a bon iver/taylor swift song is a big full circle from the brief and miserable time in my life before i realized taylor swift is good and i was just a middle schooler trying to seem smart and discerning by listening to Real Music (skinny love by bon iver only)
24 July 2020 : oh big agree absolutely not a bon iver diss tweet just a "lil claudia thinking there was a dichotomy there" diss tweet and also a "people who still try to signal Good Taste by [checks notes] not liking very very good pop music" diss tweet
24 July 2020 : it's just exhausting lmao there's definitely a lot of good critical taylor swift/music industry analysis out there and i love 2 read it but it's so transparent when it's just people lazily jumping on the hate train without even trying to engage with the music out of insecurity
24 July 2020 : 2015 / 2020 happier these days https://twitter.com/kindfable/status/1286732351012208640 …pic.twitter.com/U53glAt5JY
25 July 2020 : medium cups simply do NOT hit the same in the hand. i am not a centrist
25 July 2020 : due to personal reasons (sad) i am having a Two Iced Coffees Same Time One Hand daypic.twitter.com/LpkH5JpDpP
25 July 2020 : i need a tattoo immediately but also i do not know if i will ever be employed again
25 July 2020 : it's because my caffeine addiction began in room 228
25 July 2020 : oh no
26 July 2020 : amber’s brain is a wonderland
26 July 2020 : an actual visionary i’m screamin
26 July 2020 : what could this possibly be about i haven’t deleted a tweet in HOURS
26 July 2020 : it is not my fault i am EPHEMERAL
27 July 2020 : i decided to consult my high school lastfm trying to figure out what my four definitive albums were and now i am researching lobotomies insteadpic.twitter.com/qBid5LTIS2
27 July 2020 : thanks
27 July 2020 : so far all i have done in my mid-twenties is go in miserable circles hoping i don't get evicted and then hoping i don't get ghosted and then hoping i don't get evicted and then hoping i don't get gh
28 July 2020 : i am just like the mountain goats man (two big hands, heart pumping blood)
28 July 2020 : has anything good ever actually happened to anyone in the greater boston area even once. no
28 July 2020 : nookie by limp bizkit but it’s called dunkie and it’s about me going outside in ten thousand degree weather for dunkin donuts
28 July 2020 : i did it all for the dunkie,,, the dunkie,,,
28 July 2020 : almost caused my dear friend to crash in front of dunkin donuts because i was listening to nookie by limp bizkit too loud to hear my namepic.twitter.com/eqN5RDv6vF
28 July 2020 : no
28 July 2020 : PREDICTABLY I AM A FAN
28 July 2020 : okay . one thing
29 July 2020 : did some research and it turns out getting dumped still sucks in a pandemic
29 July 2020 : it actually rules to be alive and be capable of both joy and heartache. unfortunately
29 July 2020 : PIZZA SONGS i am so ready for this
29 July 2020 : thinking about how the last show i went to in the town i live in before ""concerts"" stopped existing was: lil b
29 July 2020 : ugh anamanaguchi has been on my list forever
29 July 2020 : i lost my custom-ordered The Adventure Zone popsocket in the lil b pit
29 July 2020 : ugh glad/jealous; miss those boyz and that SHOW
29 July 2020 : if you catch me on a dating app again this year please punch me in the face (from six feet away)
29 July 2020 : RILEY ugh thank u big big same
29 July 2020 : can’t sleep thinking abt limp bizkit and whether or not i’m fundamentally unlovable (no relation)
29 July 2020 : the best part of anything that even resembles getting dumped is when your friends, in succession (not unlike the condolences line at a funeral or congratulations line at a wedding), remind you you're very hot
29 July 2020 : gonna start drafting your eulogy now
29 July 2020 : just found a single cracker on my dresser that i now remember leaving for myself "as a nice surprise" before falling asleep at 5:30am if anyone wants to know how i'm "doing"
29 July 2020 : the mountain goats have a song for all of my major activities such as surviving abuse or stabbing people in the eye
29 July 2020 : going through an accountability process (i burped in my mask and it made me contend with the fact that in a fugue state i ate a whole pizza)
30 July 2020 : it’s exposure therapy for the human condition and the human condition is that we’re all just burp machines
30 July 2020 : when bruce springsteen wrote the line "everybody's got a hunger, a hunger they can't resist" he was talking about me, today, eating an entire thing of oreo thins in one hour,
30 July 2020 : p.o.v. you’re my friends at a [redacted] conference in a hotel in fall 2019 and you have just watched me, drunk, spot people i did not want to talk to, yell “i gotta GO” and parkour over a counter into an off-limits inactive hotel concession stand counter to hide from thempic.twitter.com/WWHmAZWuCr
30 July 2020 : p.o.v. you’re me, drunk, hiding behind the counter you have just parkoured over to hide from people who do not understand boundaries, and you look up at your beautiful perfect sober friends as they watch over you in bemused concernpic.twitter.com/CdGAlqGaNO
30 July 2020 : floor facepic.twitter.com/0yaJWiLVYB
31 July 2020 : thinking abt: making people playlists full of songs that sound like they make you feel / getting people gifts that make them feel known / showing people art that reminds you of them / curation as a love language
31 July 2020 : same! this tweet grew out of me thinking about how my friend and i just sending instagram art back and forth has been such a sustaining light all of quarantine
31 July 2020 : yes my spotify is just a collection of playlists i make for my friends and yes i do listen to the playlists i make for people when i miss them next questionpic.twitter.com/2MbAxcIbPS
31 July 2020 : !!! i love this oh man
31 July 2020 : spilled some water on this guide to starting a business sorry here is your limp biz kit
31 July 2020 : spilled some soup on the clown from the stephen king joint while he was on his way to his podiatrist appointment now he's limp bisque it
31 July 2020 : okay this one is a stretch: i make some late night limp bizkit puns and then,,, tim tsks it
31 July 2020 : it is unfortunate that tom tom club do have the bangers because everything chris frantz says makes me want to pull an oedipus on my own two eyes
31 July 2020 : the beef is fine but it seems like he never grew out of making it seem like david byrne being on the autism spectrum was some deliberate evil/embarrassing transgression or an acceptable point of ridicule, up to/including the new book; also some misogyny
31 July 2020 : yeah absolutely — so much to say about what tina was put through, and it seems db was totally a bad bandmate outside of that, but both tina and chris have always doubled down on the "he's weird and autistic" (using both the word and euphemistically pointing out behaviors) aspect
31 July 2020 : in fairness i've only read excerpts so the rest might be gold but the parts i did were disappointing w/r/t the continued "neurodivergence is weird" thing and the way he'd talk about every woman's appearance; also this (old) article has some good overviewhttps://www.salon.com/2003/12/03/heads_2/ …
31 July 2020 : i was reading this old article the other day and the shit chris + tina would say even long after the heat of the breakup (consistent with stuff they've said since) is,,, just,,, what the fuck just have normal warranted beef instead of "autism is evil" shithttps://www.salon.com/2003/12/03/heads_2/ …
31 July 2020 : i’m a detective hot on the case of what the fuck is wrong with people
31 July 2020 : sam my investigation concludes that you are a gem
31 July 2020 : i am going to kick your ass (by which i mean get teryn to kick your ass)
31 July 2020 : it worked for me
31 July 2020 : it is with a heavy heart that i must at last admit to myself that david byrne is hot
31 July 2020 : listen it is very rare for my big art fascinations/inspirations to also be my crushes but i was once again watching stop making sense clips and had a lightbulb moment
31 July 2020 : david byrne dm me
31 July 2020 : BABY ARI??????
31 July 2020 : stunner!!!
31 July 2020 : i for one love to disclose logistics
31 July 2020 : mask smells like coffee because earlier today i tried to drink coffee through it
31 July 2020 : okay not so loud
1 August 2020 : can't believe i almost broke the one rule i made for myself last year (do not get in a relationship with anyone who does not make u feel like a carly rae jepsen song)
1 August 2020 : i made this rule drunk out of my mind crying at the crj functionpic.twitter.com/4BRmcZeZGF
1 August 2020 : andrew,
1 August 2020 : i have watched cars MANY times very voluntarily
1 August 2020 : my dunkin’ donuts abuela really hit me with the “¿y el novio?” when i yet again ordered two iced coffees just now and i am not going to tell her they’ve always both been for me
1 August 2020 : yes my dunkin donuts tweets are a cry for help
1 August 2020 : hope in my strawberry frosted donut (no sprinkles) (not a euphemism) but not in my heart
1 August 2020 : i meant,,, hole (there IS unfortunately hope in my heart)
1 August 2020 : now you get a buncha donuts AND two chocolate milks this sounds like a w
1 August 2020 : as a dunkin’ donuts aurhority i endorse your dunks decisions
1 August 2020 : HAPPY BIRTHDAY ily and i am so in awe of you always and i can’t believe we’re both a quarter of a dang century old when we were tiny lil tumblr babies when we first met
1 August 2020 : sure the fuck ampic.twitter.com/sbVpZlFYZT
1 August 2020 : :-) https://twitter.com/still_wine/status/1289597800557101056 …pic.twitter.com/H6zfZwrwQp
1 August 2020 : ??? how is that even enforced
1 August 2020 : CAMERON LOL
1 August 2020 : summer was invented in 2019 when carly rae jepsen sang "it's a hot and rainy season" for the first time
1 August 2020 : sorry i'm carlyposting again i just remembered what having a crush actually feels like
1 August 2020 : (also consider this a formal request for puzzle pics)
2 August 2020 : RT @DrCrimeboy : I think that @futureteensusa is Third Eye Blind for people that cry a lot
2 August 2020 : every day you cause me to unsuppress things
2 August 2020 : this is will toledo
2 August 2020 : post-nut clarity but it’s me seeing god after eating a peanut butter cup
2 August 2020 : sorry
2 August 2020 : reese's peaces
2 August 2020 : hell YEAH i hope it goes as smoothly as possible!
2 August 2020 : er0b with another feat of cuteness
2 August 2020 : quarantine has broken us all in specific ways and for me it is that i use the emoji now
2 August 2020 :
2 August 2020 : what have i ever done to u. be sofT? use emojis with uwu energy ??
2 August 2020 : deep cleaning is when i clean while listening to bon iver
2 August 2020 : important to me that everyone know i am a fraudpic.twitter.com/98sDOYpjHN
2 August 2020 : i'm going to hire someone to pretend they're coming over every other week because apparently those are the actual only conditions under which i will ever clean my hell apartment like i mean it
2 August 2020 : every surface in this building is made of some high-tech material whose only feature is immediately re-sullying itself the moment you look away after cleaning it
3 August 2020 : making pancakes on a nonrigid airship using blimp bisquick
3 August 2020 : every day i do the viral claudia get out of bed challenge and every day i lose
3 August 2020 : i too see the face of god when i am near empanadas
3 August 2020 : unfortunately you need to move now
3 August 2020 : this was all mehttps://twitter.com/PopCrave/status/1290090241198452736 …
3 August 2020 : who is this guy i will marry him myself if it means i get to move into the taco bell office
4 August 2020 : RT @certainsongz : and us, too / not the same people that our old friends knewhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NE7MpzyfGkc …
4 August 2020 : charcuterie is just lunchables
4 August 2020 : fingers are nature's spreading knives
5 August 2020 : so many* of my favorite mountain goats songs are about childbirth *2
5 August 2020 : sorry to on main but pic.twitter.com/g5j2FEpDWC
5 August 2020 : it is cool to be alive
5 August 2020 : i’m gonna
5 August 2020 : i have never not wanted to be alive but i spent a whole lot of time thinking i didn’t deserve to and i can finally call it years, plural, since the very last time i believed that
5 August 2020 : sorry i love you with my whole heart but i’m married to the game and the game is impermanence
5 August 2020 : oh shit i’ve had the original on rotation this summer!!! what a good thing to wake up to
5 August 2020 : you learn new things every day and my one (1) lesson of august fifth two thousand twenty is that butterfly was co-written by the good half of rhcppic.twitter.com/lDR2tjba8Q
5 August 2020 : yes i'm unemployed
5 August 2020 : OH this makes a lot more sense (i have not revisited pre-californication stuff since,,, middle school)
5 August 2020 : biggest point of consideration for when i eventually move is that i stay within the grillo’s pickle availability radius
5 August 2020 : thank you timehop for reminding me of precious, meaningful moments such as five years ago today at a party when someone tried to flirt with me by saying i had the most perfect toenail he’d ever seen
5 August 2020 : if you develop a crush on me i will spray you with water
5 August 2020 : i will not survive the lorde album
5 August 2020 : “had to”
5 August 2020 : lately/forever: downtown boys' covers of dancing in the dark and fotos y recuerdos; bully - about a girl; screaming females - if it makes you happy; twin princess - atlantic city; ezra furman - unbelievers
6 August 2020 : could not be me
6 August 2020 : unfortunately only one thing has ever been """my super bowl""" and it was that year that arcade fire swept the grammys while one half of twitter was elmo_fire.gif about it and the other half was just "who the fuck is arcade fire" over and over again
6 August 2020 : "sing into my mouth"??? in THIS pandemic???
6 August 2020 :
6 August 2020 : RT @Lubchansky : please do not try to riff with me unless youve been given a license to riff with me previously. new riffs are now closed until further notice
6 August 2020 : should i try to keep a roof over my head for the foreseeable future or get sven new tattoos. much to consider
6 August 2020 : a good measuring stick for how the last few years have gone is that one of my friend and i's favorite memories together is a night last summer that did end in a shooting
6 August 2020 : if you have ever experienced even fleeting attraction to me i want you to know that i just noticed a lil spider crawling across one of the two slices of pizza i got from two different pizza joints, removed and relocated it, then proceeded to still eat the slice
6 August 2020 : i can’t wait to LISTE N
6 August 2020 : that’s the plan / why i didn’t just half-listen right away; gonna sit down with it later tonight!
7 August 2020 : this album cover is a direct spiritual predecessor to kc green’s this is fine dogpic.twitter.com/wi8DScgTho
7 August 2020 : talking heads just sprinkling some steel drums into the first song on their first album was such a move
7 August 2020 : i am invoicing phil elverum for the expensive film photography habit the new microphones album video is dragging me towards every second i keep watching it
7 August 2020 : y e s https://youtu.be/A7BkabF31ak
8 August 2020 : recycling is when i (uninsured) internalize and implement things my friends mention their therapist told them
8 August 2020 : hmmpic.twitter.com/0puKXzCUx7
9 August 2020 : roni i am screaming
11 August 2020 : thank you mountain goats knife album for my life
11 August 2020 : once again the mountain goats come through for me exactly when i need them (read: extremely sad), bearing new words of wisdom, and this time those words are: knife album
12 August 2020 : if spotify really send you notifications when people add your songs to playlist s/o to my MANY friends who have never roasted me for me putting their songs on very obvious crush playlists or very obvious being sad about crushes playlists
12 August 2020 : crushes are just a scam i run to put my friends' music on the playlists i make for them
12 August 2020 : if a mountain goats song title starts with "going to" it means that when i listen to it i am "going to" cry
13 August 2020 : done x 2; happy birthday, david!
14 August 2020 : beatdown ben in the pit with a large iced regular in each handhttps://twitter.com/metaltxt/status/1294310275043094528 …
14 August 2020 : when i come across a sunflower that is taller than me i feel like i’ve run into a celebrity
18 August 2020 : the day after the 2016 election i was on the phone with my friend and said something like “i mean, i don’t even know if there’ll be a democracy by the time the next election rolls around,” and felt so silly and tin-hatty as the words left my mouth. haha
18 August 2020 : i realize there’s never been a democracy but now there extremely is not a democracy
18 August 2020 : RT @certainsongz : the autumn forecast's looking dismal again / this year i'll spend november in the house / august sort of stifled your potential, didn't it?https://marthadiy.bandcamp.com/track/ice-cream-and-sunscreen …
18 August 2020 : my autobiography but the stages of my life are measured in how i feel about the song going to georgia
18 August 2020 : this year i have circled back around to loving this song with my whole heart. it is also the first year in many years i have not gone to a mountain goats show and therefore not had to endure some dude shout for going to georgia between every song while i pray for death
20 August 2020 : whenever i have a good day it's like okay am i in trouble
20 August 2020 : thank u future teens for soundtracking not only my new england heartbreak but also my many somber all-star-related memories, like when smash mouth were playing blocks away in minneapolis but i couldn't go because i was already booked to read a poem about smash mouth that nighthttps://twitter.com/futureteensusa/status/1296477577712992258 …
20 August 2020 : a week later, in los angeles, i'd just been laid off from the job i was traveling for and my friends knew the only way to cheer me up was to play all star during their set. there is one way to my heart and it is all star.
20 August 2020 : wait that was also the year staff at a different conference let me dj the ball, the equivalent of handing me the aux cord for a car carrying thousands of people, and i played all star three (3) times. i was not asked to dj again. anyway, listen to future teens
20 August 2020 : TRULY
20 August 2020 : i think today i will walk four hours so i can eat taco bell
20 August 2020 : holly you are the BEST i can’t wait until we can hang out again!!!
21 August 2020 : a lil baby scoob! so stoked for both of you!
21 August 2020 : i think while we're abolishing things we should abolish geese. end geese. no more geese. did a goose make me fear for my life in the public garden earlier? unrelated
21 August 2020 : 1) taz: balance is one of my favorite pieces of storytelling in the world and it is so important to me 2) i got into mbmbam by watching animatics/looking up choice clips to get a feel for it before jumping into full episodes; the tv show is also a good primer!
23 August 2020 : !!! happy birthday to neil "@neilcic" handsomepizza
23 August 2020 : some good good childhood abuse trauma made me avoid really learning to cook until this spring but now i can make all the cuban and honduran food i’ve been homesick for since 2015, like today when i finally made baleadas for the first time everpic.twitter.com/ztJe5quVnw
23 August 2020 : thank u meys! i need to work on my tortilla technique for sure but i'm so happee
23 August 2020 : i still need to work on mine a lot before they're make-for-friends worthy but i've heard rumors of some honduran spots in chelsea
23 August 2020 : y e s
25 August 2020 : going through it
25 August 2020 : when i'm feeling luxurious i put on my britney spears perfume before bed
26 August 2020 : thom please open your heart to joy (dunkin donuts, eating a pretzel at a long table,)
27 August 2020 : why would you make me read this
27 August 2020 : earth angel actuall y
27 August 2020 : returning with belated concern to the moment today where a comic book store employee told me to "stick a knife in kermit"
27 August 2020 : i love my dumb baby lizard brain and how it is in control of my tall human body and uses that great power to test out theories like “maybe doing this thing that has made me feel like garbage the last twenty times i’ve done it will make me feel better today”
28 August 2020 : the balloon platitude man is what happens when you give "if they care about you :) they'll text you :)" twitter a budget
28 August 2020 : will no longer abide people trying to make me read words
29 August 2020 : i will not sing into your mouth. we are in a pandemic
29 August 2020 : i guess that this must be the plague
29 August 2020 : please leave me and my four narragansetts alone
29 August 2020 : “i love the passing of time” okay david byrne ,,, whatever ,,, could could not be me
29 August 2020 : (i guess that this must be the) meys
29 August 2020 : i'm a simple man,,, i listen to this must be the place and at minimum i get misty-eyed,,,
29 August 2020 : : - )
29 August 2020 : i can't sleep because i can't stop thinking about the tortillas i'm going to make when i wake up
29 August 2020 : i’m a detective hot on the case of what the fuck is wrong with people
30 August 2020 : a sweet sunday tragedy in two parts please respect my family’s privacy in this timepic.twitter.com/0uAYw2xc0Y
30 August 2020 : two!!! dots!!!
30 August 2020 : i am the same way with audio processing! i absolutely need something to fiddle with like that to listen to a podcast or whatever
30 August 2020 : i have worked in food service
30 August 2020 : yes! it was so good, definitely an adequate consolation
31 August 2020 : we didn't date i was just temporarily recruited into the multi-level marketing scheme of his personality
1 September 2020 : googling "am i going to have a good life"
2 September 2020 : hell YEAH somervillehttps://twitter.com/617acab/status/1300965150548201472 …
2 September 2020 : i’ve lived here two years today thank u for this anniversary present to me personally
2 September 2020 : the 19.9% was just voter fraud by the guy a bartender at the burren tried to set me up with who said he's "registered democrat but fiscally conservative" and then made me fear for my life
2 September 2020 : late!!! summer!!! baby!!! (please tell me your favorite songs about or evoking late summer)https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6XAEk2gEsMhLMiXl6txpYr?si=p7I6VMyjTgKLbRj50IruAQ …
2 September 2020 : i grew up in miami so the changing of the seasons still feels so fuckin magical to me, and late summer five years ago was the first time i got to experience that so when the weather starts to turn i'm lousy w/ nostalgia and hope ! that's all
2 September 2020 : girls just want to hear those three special words (joe kennedy conceded)
2 September 2020 : yet again u are the only person who understands me
2 September 2020 : severely slept on summertime clothes in favor of grass ,,, we can have Both
3 September 2020 : five!!! years!!! and it still catches me by surprise that i get to have a life surrounded by love and possibility instead of terror and control, or that i get to watch myself become so much more than anything i dared dream in that darkness. good n cool to be alive.https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/771711864350904321 …
3 September 2020 : been thinking a lot (lately/always) about the liner notes for @mountain_goats's The Sunset Tree, which i would read over and over again in the worst moments i lived through in that house. i let myself believe they were true. i was right.pic.twitter.com/XB6xEQbAtV
4 September 2020 : listening to the new sza and thinking about the time my nightmare manager at a restaurant that doesn't exist anymore responded to my coworker's suggestion we put her music on with "i don't even know who scissor is"
5 September 2020 : duh
5 September 2020 : RT @dril : do not piss my ass off. do not goof around with my ass
5 September 2020 : proud of u
5 September 2020 : i can’t believe you guys are under the teacher au tag on ao3 now
5 September 2020 : really looking deep within myself to figure out which flavor of ice cream i will get tomorrow
5 September 2020 : i hate this! i’m sorry
6 September 2020 : earth wind and fire were right. september
6 September 2020 : no the fuck it has not https://t.co/V2AEsflD0T
7 September 2020 : every day i reconnect with my heritage (i bought a $10 tortilla warmer)
7 September 2020 : i have never learned a lesson in my life
7 September 2020 : if you try to read my t-shirts i will taze yo u
7 September 2020 : if you look at me in any way you’re on thin ice
9 September 2020 : a child of impeccable taste
10 September 2020 : when i eat a matcha hello panda and a strawberry hello panda at the same time it's called being a visionary baby
10 September 2020 : it turns out good days are still possible somehow
10 September 2020 : i was just there yesterday!
11 September 2020 : it is me yelling across the street about how cute a couple you are
11 September 2020 : going to use living in people's heads rent-free as leverage when negotiating my lease
14 September 2020 : SUZY congrats!!!
14 September 2020 : thinking about the peace i would perhaps know if i had never watched fleabag
14 September 2020 : fitting that phoebe said the season two writers' room motto was "go greek or go home" bc watching it exposed me to truths abt myself that did make me want to claw out my own two eyeballs
21 September 2020 : earth wind and fire were right. september
22 September 2020 : RT @alisousa4 : as usual @claudiaposting comes through with what should be the motto for http://twitter.edu pic.twitter.com/UAGPmUDfS0
22 September 2020 : RT @queerlitbot : I look at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world Frank O'Hara, Having a Coke With You
22 September 2020 : the exact outfit that inspired this tweet as i illegally cut through harvard yarD
23 September 2020 : harvard students love to wear shorts
23 September 2020 : what else is there to do anymore but constantly google "what day is it" and walk around looking at places that used to be places
23 September 2020 : once a year i consider not hating boston
23 September 2020 : the greater bosstones area
23 September 2020 : RT @EdMarkey : Police murdered Breonna Taylor while she was asleep in her own home. Today, our justice system decided that these officers will not be held accountable. This is a grave and shameful injustice.
24 September 2020 : lizz. thank you for having a brain. which i lack
24 September 2020 : I LUV
24 September 2020 : big day of smiling at strangers (trees) and visiting friends (squirrels in the common)
25 September 2020 : happy birthdaY
25 September 2020 : 1) y e s 2) the amount of beverages ,,,
26 September 2020 : my streak of being hired on the spot at greater boston area landmarks i have cried in continues
1 October 2020 : this is the fourth!!! mouth thing (start with mouth sounds if you are in the enviable position of getting to listen to these for the first time ever) and a third of the way in i’ve already hit so many moments that made my actual real life jaw drop. listen if you’re into joy.
1 October 2020 : @twinprincessltd gold standard in mashup albums where the punchline is never “isn’t this song bad” or otherwise che… https://t.co/fJR8tXCAnh
1 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : it’s bustin season
2 October 2020 : wildly wholesome
5 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : guess what i just got
6 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : world takeover babY
6 October 2020 : as the spokesperson for claudias everywhere you're all welcome
6 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : you're going to find out he [redacted] via tik tok comments but i'm going to find out via the claudias group text
6 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : remember what woody guthrie's guitar said: this machine sends well wishes to fascists
6 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : thank u
7 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i’m listening to the latest @neilcic mouth magic Mouth Dreams on my walk to work and fully missed a turn i know by heart because i hit the talking heads part and was so transfixed i just kept walkin http://neilcic.com/mouthdreams
7 October 2020 : nu job has the mitski ‘is it hot?’ sign taped to the bathroom mirror and it is doing good things for my little lifepic.twitter.com/9VOW6eIorC
7 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : ten thousand years ago
7 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i realize that plastic bag bans are important and necessary steps towards delaying the planet’s heat death but they are also denying me my immigrant daughter birthright of having in my possession a plastic bag stuffed full of other plastic bags
7 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : @htmlproxy let’s lawyer up
7 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i love chicked peas
7 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : if you do not text me every detail about your chicked peas in the next two minutes i am going to unfollow you
15 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : physically on my day off from book job mentally on the clock thinking about the girl who looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if we had any books by “jia tortellini”
15 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i did handsell a copy of trick mirror without myself correcting her
19 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : today at work i had a forty-five minute phonecall with a customer sad it was so infuriating that when i was recounting it to my coworker in the basement my fitbit urged me to “”breathe””
21 October 2020 : RT @certainsongz : sometimes i cry and i'm like "oh this is what carly rae jepsen wrote cry about"
21 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : inspiring
21 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : organizing my computer and i found a folder called "career" containing only this photo of david byrne eating cerealpic.twitter.com/uzd2oADDCj
23 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i am having a hell time in the brain and heart department lately but this morning (on this, Knife Day) i listened to the new @mountain_goats knife album on my walk to work and i am here to report: goats good knives good heart good
23 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : happy knife happy life
25 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : very big important landmark day in my life (i just found out i live on the block where monster mash was written)
26 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : someone at book job just asked me if we had books about suffragettes but due to ears bad i responded “SURFER JETS?”
28 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : "i hate the apps" - me while on the apps
28 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : another way i am a latina disappointment is that despite dora the explorer's best efforts i have in fact been swiping
28 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i luv 2 suffer
28 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : after two weeks etcpic.twitter.com/Y3gaJsbvUS
28 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : testing a theory that if i do enough loitering around the harvard campus they'll give me an honorary degree
28 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : working three feet away from ""harvard university"" is the natural progression of my living-in-the-greater-boston-area arc which can be divided into chapters marked mostly by different times i've cried in harvard yard
28 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : the rumors are true: i oversalted my beans
28 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : shod and freud wrote that you make my dreams come true song right
28 October 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i tried to fix it and it’s worse but we’re rolling with it because it was five days’ worth and my food stamps Did run out today
1 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : I AM LOSING MY MIND ABT THIS
3 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : leak the recipe adam
3 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : how long do we think i will get away with wearing my Full Communism t-shirt at work tomorrow
3 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : it was a good post in better spanish than i could manage and i am glad u made it
3 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : writing in chuck e. cheese on the ballot he's had a rough year
3 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i regret to inform you i voted
3 November 2020 : RT @steven_arcieri : my brain is full of secret tweets
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : the latino vote is when i decide whether or not i'm getting in a fight about limes over lemons
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : me when people say something oversimplifying my ""latinidad"": i am not made! of fractions!!! me once every four years when racist reaganite cubans vote with their sedano's-brand white supremacy: actually i'm only part cuban :)
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : lmao we tweeted abt this at the same time
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : childhood memories include my dad (pre-mariel boatlift cuban immigrant, racist nightmare human) cutting up a black garbage bag to hang from our flagpole the day reagan died
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : any other immigrants/children of immigrants sitting here like "we came here on purpose" lmao
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : as a wang transplant i endorse this tweet
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : as we all know on election night we can each pass one law while everyone is distracted and my law is that i cannot be held responsible for decisions made while listening to fleetwood mac the chain
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : no reason
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : harry styles version
4 November 2020 : @madeline_starr max , https://t.co/a8Uc3jKUir
4 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : fivey fox found dead
5 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : ballots still being counted for whether or not i will “get a grip”
5 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : polls are not encouraging
5 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : me willing myself to shelve my least favorite sections at the bookstore
5 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : kids nonfiction, any of the sciences, any of the currently orphaned sections, also no one has been shelving fiction or film/stage/poetry because there is an EXTREMWLY BAD DEAD ANIMAL SMELL that the exterminator deemed “unreachable”
6 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : had a dream within which i just kept saying “i’m not making the right choice” i wonder what my psyche is trying to tell me
6 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : this was gritty’s long game
6 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : this is a joke gritty’s long game is clearly full communism
6 November 2020 : RT @ellomelissa : no liberal but if biden wins I might give myself 30 minutes of crying with relief
6 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : have set up a potentially disastrous day for myself at book job where i have declared that if the election gets called during our shift i will “shotgun a milkshake”
6 November 2020 : RT @thewonderyears : Now Playing: Came Out Swinging
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : someone in homeroom told me that if the president elect doesn’t show up after fifteen minutes we’re legally allowed to leave the country
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : polls (of my coworkers) inconclusive as to whether the noise outside is election screaming or regular harvard square screaming
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i've been extra nice to the fbi agent living in my computer all these years so he can hook me up with bodycam footage of trump's eviction
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : can't believe trump is being evicted before me lmao
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : SHE WAS CORRECT
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : crying in a bookstore basement but for good reasons this time
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : all bosses just be cool today
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : couldn’t take it anymore and took my lunch break to stand in harvard square which looks n sounds like this right now:pic.twitter.com/ShV7bBMJAA
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : chaos in harvard square as two cars roll through blasting different parts of fuck donald trump
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : favorite chant out of harvard square so far is “NO MORE YEARS”
7 November 2020 : if i had republican friends i'd reach out to them with my fist https://t.co/EbfH3Ou3nR
7 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : thought walking home from harvard square would take me away from all the celebration but even on this sleepy cambridge side street a car just drove past blasting We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together and i must say: lmao
8 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : i can’t believe we’re here
8 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : biden delivering this speech in the cadence of a hold steady song
8 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : who found my secret waking up playlist on spotify
8 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : okay was EVERYONE hoarding fireworks
8 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : yelling “i’m a MISTAKE MACHINE” on the sales floor at work
11 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : me, in the covid testing room: [record scratch, freeze frame while i’m getting my brain swabbed, voiceover] you’re probably wondering how i got here
11 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : in true claudia fashion i am in the same hours-long covid testing line as someone i matched with on tinder
12 November 2020 : i will not sing into your mouth. we are in a pandemic
12 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : this morning i got my nose probed and the moment i got negative test result back i did an emergency sweet sunday about it
12 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : that just got paid let's get laid song by the millionaires but it's just got tested let's get rested and it's about me taking a little post-covid-test nap
12 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : SAME
12 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : working to ensure a peaceful transition of power from pumpkin reese’s to christmas tree reese’s
12 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : in my mouth
12 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : having a good day by which i mean i just went to dubkib donuts for the third time since morning and the were playing some vintage one direction
14 November 2020 : @twinprincessltd me 2
16 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : today at book job i was downstairs and heard shouting above me + a man yelling “HEY GET OUTTA HERE” and my manager yelling “friend, NO” and i later found out these were directed at not a human intruder but in fact a rat the length of my forearm running into the history section
16 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : two of my supervisors cornered book rat trying to lure it into a recycling bin to release into the harvard campus where rats go to school but after a long stand-off it escaped out the side door towards the burger place currently advertising something called “the kamala burger”
17 November 2020 : it is cool and good when you realize you are cared about in ways your nightmare brain can't argue away
18 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : dundbnkin donuts iced coffee tastes better the further below freezing the weather gets and that's just science baby
18 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : my never-learned-to-drink-hot-stuff condition from growing up in florida has served me well in mass
18 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : at least you don’t have to order things at “kid’s temperature” like meee
19 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : pauli is right
22 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : today i was trying 2 flirt with someone by talking about how "maroon is a bullshit color" and my forty-year-old manager overheard and yelled "this is GREAT, claudia's being like SEINFELD"
22 November 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : we all have our flaws
17 December 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : reactivated my wholeass twitter just to say: lmaopic.twitter.com/WBRcAaM3ev
17 December 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : riley please leave me and my remaining shred of dignity alome
18 December 2020 : RT @claudiaposting : any guesses as to how my year has gonepic.twitter.com/E78ScVRm88
1 January 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : LILY YES
1 January 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : ... i have a daybook note to make now that i am newly aware of this policy
12 January 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : feeling In Sync with The Universe in this new year (yesterday i went to a pizza counter and phoebe bridgers motion sickness was playing while i ordered the mashed potato slice)
15 January 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : googling "can i drink coffee before an emergency root canal" . no reason .
15 January 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : i had an emergency dental procedure this morning after not being able to go to the dentist for seven years and when i took a break i lost my whole mind laughing after seeing myself in the mirror (dental dam still in as u can see) bc i didn’t realize they’d put sungLASSES ON MEpic.twitter.com/LiVCQHKlQK
30 January 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : strong contender for january 2021’s instance of Peak Claudia: when i was looking up [celebrity redacted]’s ancient customer profile in [bookstore redacted]’s database, misspelled his name, and through that typo pulled up [claudia’s ex redacted]’s profile instead
30 January 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : meys with the three for three
10 February 2021 : redownloaded twitter due to it is my birthday and this was the very first tweet i saw at 26 https://t.co/daUY9BdFq0
10 February 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : thabk you!
10 February 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : thank you, Ming
10 February 2021 : RT @er0b : Happy birthday to Claudia. not a Sunday goes by where I don’t think about this https://t.co/VzHZzzhDhI
10 February 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : THANK YOU i miss you and still think about that cake you guys made me senior year every birthday
10 February 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : okay ebay settle downpic.twitter.com/kmrLTGFPJt
26 February 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : i’m logged off claudia and logged off claudia got a haircut offlinepic.twitter.com/gNZUBbE59Y
26 February 2021 : haters will say i’m currently logged in
27 February 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : my diary does not pass the bechdel test
27 February 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : but what if YOU recommend some
14 March 2021 : if spotify is so good at their beep boop algorithms why can't they make a "don't put claudia's exes on her discover weekly" one
16 March 2021 : looking back and forth between the notice telling me i have ninety days to move out and the wikipedia page for ninety day fiance
16 March 2021 : e·vic·ted (carly rae jepsen, 2015)
18 March 2021 :
18 March 2021 : i am going to fight your dad
20 March 2021 : the "everything is perfectly fine" starter kitpic.twitter.com/0O5o9Jl7N2
20 March 2021 : today when he saw me my dentist (who i would die and/or kill for) said "are you okay?" and i said "yeah! i'm doing great!" and he said "but you didn't do the swoosh" and i said "what" and he said "the swoosh, the eye swoosh" which is how i remembered i didn't do my eyeliner
20 March 2021 : got blood work done for the first time in seven years (that’s right: she’s insured) and the nurse simply could not stop telling me that i have “dinky, dinky, dinky veins”
20 March 2021 : “like string cheese. mozzarella.”
20 March 2021 : @megathornberry i am happy you’re alive 🎈
20 March 2021 : one day i will leave boston but the back bay station bathrooms will never leave my heartpic.twitter.com/LHCPmSgbfw
21 March 2021 : really deeply angry that my whole life i was socialized to believe baby carrots were the optimal snacking carrot and i am only now in my old age discovering the above and beyond delight of going bugs bunny on an adult carrot
22 March 2021 : this is inspired; i’m going to go carrot butt first but hold it like nature’s drumstick cone
22 March 2021 : can’t believe that when i finally get vaccinated it’ll probably be at a walgreens, the same place i go to buy three bags of cadbury eggs when i’m having a mental breakdown,
24 March 2021 : crying in h mart by michelle zauner + a little devil in america by hanif abdurraqib! the expanded rerelease of the first collection of criticism by a female living rock critic by jessica hopper! and about a thousand others
26 March 2021 : me giving a powerpoint presentation to the employees of the mcgrath highway stop and shop: hello , you may notice i am in here basically every day , this is because i have — next slide please — a small tote bag and also depression
26 March 2021 : how many nu tattoos do you think i'll get by the end of our first like htree months living together
30 March 2021 : omw
3 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : how’d they KNOW
4 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : that lipstick shade looks so good on you!
5 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : hello. today i forgot the word for forecast and said i was looking at “spoilers for the weather”
6 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : my fitbit people with pop punk anchor tattoos refuse to sync
6 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : hey twitter?pic.twitter.com/rVEce8SDQX
7 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : hello friends enemies and crushes in the greater bosstones area if you were leaving boston what would you want to make sure to do/visit/eat before you leftno reason
7 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : what is the point of tasty burger without you
7 April 2021 : @sahitya_raja : - )
7 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : thrilled to join in this storied tradition ,
7 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : i still haven’t gone ever so i hope it is!
7 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : more important boston question: where are all the fuckin cadbury mini eggs
7 April 2021 : oh saus was like one of the first three things i thought of
7 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : the winter hill walgreens was wiped out so i will have to investigate out west, thank you for your guidance
7 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : currently 97% of my serotonin comes from walking by my local little tree library and seeing that the books i last tucked in there have since found new homes
8 April 2021 : all of my money goes to bell peppers
9 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : andy!!! yes
9 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : today, all before 9am, i got to watch the sun rise during my daily morning walk, got my favorite dunkies, listened to the new taylor, and was prescribed antidepressants after going without healthcare for almost a decade so get ready for my new release “claudia (taylor’s version)”
9 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : so we beat on, boys against the current, borne ceaselessly back into the town
10 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : i wore my crj shirt today also :-)
11 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : walgreens please i have bought so many little chocolate treats from youpic.twitter.com/FiRY8WyXO6
12 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : after some self-examination i’ve realized the reason i’m procrastinating on listing things on craigslist etc is because i’m unconvinced i ever really evolved from being ten years old and getting scammed out of trimmed rune armor on runescape . twice
14 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : lmao everyone who doesn’t suck has at least one of these huh
14 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : intent on unhaunting as many places in boston that make me sad as possible before i leave which i guess means i am not terribly committed to my own melodrama (lorde, 2017)
14 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : anyway come get cannolis with me
14 April 2021 : Y E S
14 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : my other goodbye mission is to eat as many scoops of jp licks salted caramel cookies and cream ice cream as humanly possible before july. thanks
14 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : encouraged
14 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : yes yes please! i’m also planning at least one day trip to providence at some point soo
14 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : do you have any of those little free libraries nearby (i imagine pvd must)? or look into prison book donation programs?
15 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : i’m on the last! page! of the one i’ve been keeping the last couple of years and i’m feeling very sentimental about it
15 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : do i feel good because the antidepressants are kickin in or do i feel good because of the immense relief brought on by even just the possibility of inching toward wellness after almost a decade without healthcare
15 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : either way it’s claudia season babY
15 April 2021 : @ActualSamHarris 🤗
17 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : i’ve decided to lean into both of my most annoying internet habits at the same time and start posting my drafts and selfies together like a content sommelierpic.twitter.com/JShWVVUrea
17 April 2021 : this entire thread needs its own entry in the DSM
18 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : happy birthday ryan
18 April 2021 : for christmas i would like to go even one day without having to remember anti-vaxxers exist
19 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : when i leave boston i will make a list revealing all of my local crushes and tape it to the c on the citgo sign (it stands for crushes)
19 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : note to self garlic tattoo
20 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : early twenties claudia certainly made some decisions but late-mid-twenties claudia is here and recklessness now that i don't hate myself just looks like dyeing my dark brown hair black again and staying up past my bedtime (8pm) to look at seals one night and a google doc the next
20 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : this happened to me too but i got the deposit days before i got the letter and i was Concerned
20 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : today my dentist noticed that i dyed my (dark brown) hair black and asked me “did something happen”
20 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : none of my exes are on tinder which is somehow worse
20 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : getting those 5x points too on this national holiday
20 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : a babe!!!
20 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : these are the coolest photos of me ever taken or at least since the international golden graham smuggling project of 2017pic.twitter.com/5EvVXoBCLE
20 April 2021 : RT @andrejgee : no verdict can restore life. i just hope this moment radicalizes more people toward abolition
21 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : the only people who know where i’m moving are several close friends and also anyone who has seen me on tinder
29 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : i have been wondering about this thank you for your service journalism
29 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : there is maybe an alternate universe where i didn’t ruin boston for myself within months of moving here with my choices and in it that claudia probably drives a duck boat full time
29 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : @joedegeorge hello joe have you seen this twitter
29 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : thriving in boston claudia loves lobster has not sworn off even one irish pub and has never had to describe anyone as “the human equivalent of a multi-level marketing scheme”
29 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : i haven’t gotten a new tattoo since 2019 when i got seven in seven months and on monday i’m getting two of them in reference to two of my favorite songs the rumors are true it’s claudia season
29 April 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : my song about my roommate’s dog who is very stubborn about exactly where we’re going on our walks is “i will follow you into the park”
3 May 2021 : oh no i am in this photo being a book bouncer for h*rv*rd book store and now i am googling “how to fix posture” https://t.co/uwF6AMp8ch
3 May 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : what is wrong with my bonespic.twitter.com/LEM3DgWQzh
4 May 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : new arm just dropped (cc: @NGrizol)pic.twitter.com/iyC4UkrAv9
4 May 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : happy birthday
4 May 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : if i took care of my whole self the way i take care of my tattoos i would be actually immortal
4 May 2021 : lmao the coffee shop i worked for :-)
4 May 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : i am YELLIN
5 May 2021 : got asked on a second date in the middle of a very long sentence explaining that my muppetsona is a combination of kermit and gonzo
5 May 2021 : my soulmate is big bird and he’s not on the apps yet
6 May 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : if you do not have lyrics on your bandcamp why do you want to hurt me specifically
6 May 2021 : RT @claudiaposting : if you do not have lyrics on your bandcamp why do you want to hurt me specifically
25 May 2021 : steven!!! hell yeaH
25 May 2021 : i am removed from the zoom call for eating cabbage like chips
25 May 2021 : my kingdom for fewer crushes
25 May 2021 : every day i think about googling "how to stretch" and then i do not google it and walk around on my sore little legs
26 May 2021 : if you superlike me on tinder you get put on a watchlist
26 May 2021 : huge loss for boston's live music scenehttps://twitter.com/staidindoors/status/1397386210780221442 …
27 May 2021 : this week i was reminded i have a letterboxd so i went to look through my reviews andpic.twitter.com/dysmXhAz1d
27 May 2021 : the up up down down left right thing but it's if i listen to a particular combination of songs a boxing glove bursts from my laptop screen to knock some sense into me
27 May 2021 : making a telehealth appointment for symptoms including "fucking around" and "finding out"
27 May 2021 : e n a b l i n g
27 May 2021 : oop this just resolved a lot of lingering guilt
27 May 2021 : the not doing my homework in grade school to never answering any of my tinder messages pipeline
27 May 2021 : the cdc said the weakerthans have to get back together now
27 May 2021 : thinking about when someone put soulja boy kiss me thru the phone on a playlist for me and i was still like “sucks that this crush i have is unrequited”
27 May 2021 : this was also two days after we got each other’s handwriting tattooed on each other so what i’m saying is if you want to smooch you are going to have to hand me a notarized document saying so
28 May 2021 : if you see me listening to left and leaving mind your business
28 May 2021 : the walgreens was playing death cab for cutie when i went to pick up my antidepressant like yes ben gibbard in my head there IS a greyhound station
28 May 2021 : thinking abt: making people playlists full of songs that sound like they make you feel / getting people gifts that make them feel known / showing people art that reminds you of them / curation as a love language
28 May 2021 : hey real quick what the fuck
28 May 2021 : this is a psy op using my deepest mothra nightmares to break me actually
28 May 2021 : [extreme movie trailer dude voice] there’s a new big green monster in town
28 May 2021 : pissed off at whoever put rebellion (lies) on the old navy store playlist in 2013 because now i can’t ever listen to funeral without thinking about women ready to do murder to me because we ran out of flip flops
28 May 2021 : lmao
28 May 2021 : w h a t
29 May 2021 : buying travel size cucumber deodorant from the harvard square cvs and frantically applying it in the harvard book store basement because i forgot to put it on before my shift nature is healing
29 May 2021 : i am at a bar for the first time since before the pandemic, i am drinking an actual draft beer, i just heard the words “i know several himbos from the blue man group” with my own ears,
30 May 2021 : unfortunately the tipsy bar bathroom selfie economy is reopeningpic.twitter.com/h7QxJtDRcw
31 May 2021 : thinking about the nicest thing anybody has ever said about mepic.twitter.com/utYmdA83fE
31 May 2021 : uber driver air drumming along to all out of love, no hands on the wheel, boston’s back baby
31 May 2021 : seamless transition into ‘the sign’ and it’s pouring and the window’s open so the rain is getting all over my face and i look like this in the back seatpic.twitter.com/iP5a35N05Q
31 May 2021 : when i leave boston in four short weeks i will take a little piece of the city with me by drinking a glass of water from the charles river. that chuck juice
31 May 2021 : forever rooting for you
31 May 2021 : do you remember when kevin gave me a Talking To for saying i wanted to throw myself in the charles
1 June 2021 : i do not see the issue julián
1 June 2021 : oop
1 June 2021 : doing a quick lil cry on the orange line boston’s back baby
2 June 2021 : as u know i am a big time steven fan; always got time to talk etc
2 June 2021 : where 2 cop
3 June 2021 : i can't stop laughign about this
3 June 2021 : i have a lot going for me and it is because of this that god cursed me with a fly that is always just a little bit down
3 June 2021 : this photo is very “mom can you pick me up they’re talking about their dark mark tattoos”
3 June 2021 : RT @alisousa4 : i’m so glad @claudiaposting and i understand each other even if society / @gmforristall says we’re wrongpic.twitter.com/fCSMMkqDXj
3 June 2021 :
3 June 2021 : due to it’s good
3 June 2021 : look at u go
8 June 2021 : spiritually and astrologically i am at my most powerful when talking heads bring in the steel drums
8 June 2021 : yes i reactivated my twitter just to talk about this
8 June 2021 : adding "jimmy buffett concert" to the list of things we need to do together along with dollywood
8 June 2021 : the last time i was in [city redacted] i was at a ripper of a show catching and munching on some bread in the pit the next time i'm in [city redacted] i will be moving into it and that's the circle of life baby
8 June 2021 : just teared up realizing i only have three weeks left with the dunkin donuts on my block if anyone wants to know what my emotional state is like
8 June 2021 : who is this
8 June 2021 : [citation needed]
8 June 2021 : i love the passing of time? okay sure david byrne. could not be me
9 June 2021 : i agree
9 June 2021 : funeral era arcade fire was just amish my chemical romance
9 June 2021 : they are the same picturepic.twitter.com/A1tE2n8frR
9 June 2021 : this is ETCHED INTO MY HEART
9 June 2021 : my toxic trait is that i love the lumineers cover of this must be the place
9 June 2021 : actually this is a career-spanning parallelpic.twitter.com/8uMuv49q0R
10 June 2021 : i will fly away from boston with my one (1) boston grudge clutched firmly in my talons
10 June 2021 : when the cranberries are like "all my life is changing every day in every possible way" and you're like wow all my life IS changing every day in EVERY possible way dolores how'd you know
10 June 2021 : when elliot stabler can’t sleep he takes a christopher melatoni
10 June 2021 : i would die for alan
10 June 2021 : :(
10 June 2021 : ivan this is good
11 June 2021 : i haven’t been paid to write about music in years due to brain don’t work but it is my professional critical opinion that a tu merced by bad bunny is the best use of airhorn sound effect in the 2020s so far. thanks
11 June 2021 : i'm at the pizza hut / i'm at the taco bell / i threw a wish in the well / don't ask me i'll never tell
11 June 2021 : KREAM (kermit rules everything around me)
11 June 2021 : i forgot the word for keepsakes so all day i have been texting my friends about my "important relics" like fuckin indiana jones
11 June 2021 : wonder if my doctor wrote down “this time she is attending her zoom appointment from her bed so clearly things are going well” in her notes today
11 June 2021 : thank you @cowboyboyband for following the only law that exists which is that every album should have at least one the-chain-by-fleetwood-mac interpolationhttps://cowboyboyband.bandcamp.com/track/dream-dream-dream-2 …
11 June 2021 : album is so so good happy release day
11 June 2021 : okay i missed taking disco naps
11 June 2021 : i'm at the pizza hut / i'm at the taco bell / i threw a wish in the well / don't ask me i'll never tell
12 June 2021 : i can’t believe i get to just hug my friends now
12 June 2021 : it’s “go to parties and introduce myself to people i saw five days a week for half a year because i don’t recognize anyone without a mask on” season
12 June 2021 : i couldn’t find the light switch in my friend’s bathroom so i had to rely on the lil night light and take these scary-story-flashlight-ass selfiespic.twitter.com/9HamBQq4EA
12 June 2021 : bar playlist just went from beyoncé run the world into james blunt you’re beautiful and i feel alive
12 June 2021 : james blunt you’re beautiful into miley cyrus party in the usa thank god
13 June 2021 : jacked up that every time i have a rough brain patch i have to find my way back to reconstruction site by the weakerthans again like it's the first time instead of immediately remembering it's almost always what will set me straight
13 June 2021 : dwaftspic.twitter.com/XcjCcQox1w
13 June 2021 : good thing i’m about to [redacted] to [redacted]
13 June 2021 : i hate her
13 June 2021 : deleting dating apps because i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (finding myself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and asking myself well how did i get here)
13 June 2021 : about everythg ign
13 June 2021 : the w in wellbutrin stands for wiggle
13 June 2021 : all mirrors by angel olsen / crushing by julia jackson / lush by snail mail / burst by snarls / bad bunny any album / i don’t want to get over you by the magnetic fields on loop for hours “haha”
13 June 2021 : can't wait until i have a therapist so i can explore why vin diesel and daddy yankee are tied together in my brain files
13 June 2021 : okay
14 June 2021 : if you are the type of person who reads a card out loud in front of the person who just gave you that card you are my enemy and i hate you
14 June 2021 : okay
14 June 2021 : my first mistake today was starting my day with a “foot mask”
14 June 2021 : no that stuff is on my list but i feel like i need to carve out a few days to have shedding-snake-feet! i did some sephora foot mask today and now i have slimy steppers
14 June 2021 : i think it's cool and spicy that my antidepressant also heightens my anxiety keep me on my toes baby
15 June 2021 : have apparently made a habit of having two beers and saying "living in boston is humiliating" a bunch but offering no further explanation
15 June 2021 : new neg just droppedpic.twitter.com/dmr8InZwjw
15 June 2021 : just kiddinG this was weeks ago but i did ask what made him think i’m detached and he said “your phone is in several of your selfies” we have been in a pandemic stefan. dumb Ass
15 June 2021 : brief time in my childhood where i kept mixing up the atkins diet and rowan atkinson
15 June 2021 : playing bitch better have my money as i invoice a major publication for thirty-five dollars
15 June 2021 : if everyone could stop telling me how much dating in nyc sux whenever i'm like "at least i'll be in nyc soon haha" and leave me to my little illusions ,,,
15 June 2021 : no
15 June 2021 : no
15 June 2021 : no
16 June 2021 : just got such a rush buying tickets for three back to back to back @mountain_goats shows (all of which will be a fifteen! minute! walk! from the brooklyn apartment i'm moving into in two weeks) that i had no choice but to immediately blast some pitbull
16 June 2021 : you can tell i'm going through it because for the first time in my life i am exfoliating
16 June 2021 : the new york dates are w/o sbd and i'm bummmmed
16 June 2021 : i already have tickets to SBD's headlining show in brooklyn i'm just being dramatic lol
16 June 2021 : SEE YOU THEREEEE
16 June 2021 : baby's first ska show (i'm baby)
17 June 2021 : third base is when i reveal just how many epic rap battles of history videos i know by heart
17 June 2021 : sorry to anyone who also follows me on instagram but i can’t stop looking at my cynicism.mp3 tattoopic.twitter.com/0XAwzwaFPo
17 June 2021 : also follow me on instagram http://instagram.com/claudia.jpegs
17 June 2021 : okay but same
17 June 2021 : lmao i remember that night because i knew they were in town but i couldn't go because i was at a hotel in the seaport all weekend as part of a h*rry p****r professional engagement ,
17 June 2021 : thinking about what my time in boston might have been like if i hadn't been immediately drawn into the interpersonal equivalent of a multi-level marketing scheme
17 June 2021 : do you think my doctor would understand what i mean by “i am listening to bad bunny at 4am” as a symptom
17 June 2021 : the condition is “going through it”
17 June 2021 : can't believe i'm about to move away from my greatest asset in life (dunkin donuts location where i receive preferential treatment)
17 June 2021 : the staff is 95% abuelitas who call me mi amor and a tattooed townie who pushes my order to the front of the queue and always slips me an extra donut when i order one which is effectively a marriage proposal
17 June 2021 : yo hago lo que me da la gana y lo que me da la gana es: llorar
17 June 2021 : there are several imminent sadnesses looming over me but i am going to be sad in new york which is objectively a better place to cry in public than boston
17 June 2021 : i think my body times my zits just to humble me
18 June 2021 : we are watching the fast and the furious and we are drinking every time there’s a corona or they’re family and i am on my third corona
18 June 2021 : we are just all yelling KISS at the screen now
18 June 2021 : lol tonight i learned that even more people have left the cafe that screwed me over (along with so much long-running staff) when the pandemic presented the opportunity i love small business
18 June 2021 : in a wild turn of events i am in many ways sad to be leaving the greater bosstones area
18 June 2021 : i got hotter during the pandemic and that is my burden to bear
18 June 2021 : dwaftspic.twitter.com/XcjCcQox1w
18 June 2021 : "my daughter is fine" your daughter bets on losing dogs
18 June 2021 : yesterday while in my mouth my dentist said "you're moving to new york where pizza is a dollar everything will be fine"
18 June 2021 : eating cheez-its counts as a square meal
18 June 2021 : unfortunately while thinking about all the shows i'm wildly excited for i did remember that the "dudes who shout weird things at bands" class exists,
18 June 2021 : [adele chasing pavements music] should i go out or should i just keep making playlists
18 June 2021 : okay. fucked up that people can just look at my face now
18 June 2021 : hello what are some albums i should play while i pack my whole life up
18 June 2021 : oh you already KNOW i am all over that
18 June 2021 : i appreciate that i was seeking sentiment but you went for "preparing for meg and claudia's hoe household"
18 June 2021 : this is violence
19 June 2021 : i do noT want to date in new york I Do Not Want To Date In New York brookyln more like booklyn i will gaze only at
19 June 2021 : wow i can't believe de blasio passed a law that when i get to brooklyn you have to be nice to me
19 June 2021 : looking back on massachusetts memories such as the funniest claudia morales character assassination attempt to date which included such indictments as “she SHOWERS EVERY DAY”
19 June 2021 : moving is all fun and games until you have to figure out what you do with all the stuff you accumulated during your h***y p****r professional past
19 June 2021 : sorting through my stuff trying to take the absolute bare minimum to brooklyn is really revealing exactly how easy it is for me to apply sentiment to objects. why do i have this pen from a margaritaville resort i have never been to
19 June 2021 : packing is just having your whole apartment be at the point in cleaning your room where it's messier than when you started for weeks and also you cry every other hour but maybe it's sweat
19 June 2021 : me in middle school nodding along to closing time
23 June 2021 : why am i moving to new york when it took me three years to work up the courage to figure out the boston bus system
23 June 2021 : few people know this but (much like how you have to renounce citizenship elsewhere to move to certain countries) when you leave boston you have to relinquish your right to sing along to "boston sucks / it's so overrated" during in love or whatever at the future teens show
23 June 2021 : i have had three burritos in the last ten hours which cancels out the truly terrible decisions i have made this week that’s just math baby
23 June 2021 : play stupid games win stupid prizes play burrito games win burrito prizes
23 June 2021 : thank you, Marty! so excited to be in such good company
23 June 2021 : when i ask people in boston to go to cheers with me they act like i am asking them to commit an actual crime
23 June 2021 : i have a CONDITION and it's called wanting to go where everybody knows your name and it's INCURABLE
23 June 2021 : did you knwo that i only found out that line was a cheers reference like last year
24 June 2021 : i just think if i remove an EOE (emoji of endearment) from your contact name in my phone it should trigger a cannon like in the hunger games
24 June 2021 : as you can see packing is going greatpic.twitter.com/4bqOr3FtX7
24 June 2021 : boston twitter in your opinion which mbta bus route has the most unhinged drivers
24 June 2021 : lmao look where that got me
24 June 2021 : the mountain goats have a song for all of my major activities such as surviving abuse or stabbing people in the eye
24 June 2021 : i just think if i remove an EOE (emoji of endearment) from your contact name in my phone it should trigger a cannon like in the hunger games
24 June 2021 : such a specific combination of overcaffeinated and seething with anger this week that if i make it out of boston without finally starting a fight in a dunkies it will be a miracle
24 June 2021 : as a matter of courtesy i will fight you at the dunkin donuts in logan at no extra charge
24 June 2021 : i turned onto boylston and came face to face with an entire disco situation in copley square i cannot elaborate further at this time
24 June 2021 : oh i try to forget faneuil hall exists so i only knew the one by the common
24 June 2021 : i don’t know because i regularly walk from the common to somerville for fun
24 June 2021 : i am having a dogshit time overall but stumbling into a bunch of happy people dancing to prince lifted my dumb spirits i love mr. bean’s town
25 June 2021 : there has to be one person in this joyless city that will take me to cheers
25 June 2021 : wait what how many are there
25 June 2021 : i will miss this boston bathroom most of allpic.twitter.com/7hJSwumvMB
25 June 2021 : this is the best tweet i hav e ever seen
25 June 2021 : when the image of myself becomes sharper in my brain and more precious it’s over for y’all
25 June 2021 : damn jenny slate so truepic.twitter.com/AaCq8sN4fh
25 June 2021 : woke up this morning and immediately confronted the dark truth of my heart which is that i want to go on a duck boat tour
25 June 2021 : cause of death partner in crime by lucy dacus
25 June 2021 : feeling extremely dead dove do not eat
25 June 2021 : i truly think something died in our walls just in time for my melodramatic move-out week i love a metaphor
26 June 2021 : okay thought i wasn’t sad about a thing and it turns out my e•mo•tions (carly rae jensen, 2015) just procrastinate as much as i do
26 June 2021 : @ET_nocontextpic.twitter.com/EyO5OBmbF8
26 June 2021 : still can’t believe i went all those years listening to autoclave by the mountain goats being like “‘sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name’ wow john darnielle so true” before somebody finally told me about cheers
26 June 2021 : caught up with an old friend while packing this morning and apparently i can't expect people to know what i mean when i say i'm feeling "extremely dead dove do not eat"
26 June 2021 : :-)https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2LxUW6O4d9HoffnaKbKshi?si=EyXeaAkeS_W7wSpodrT54g&dl_branch=1 …
26 June 2021 : i am taking prescriptions (songs, medicinal)
27 June 2021 : haters will be disappointed to hear i haven't had a moving breakdown yet haters will be thrilled to hear this means i'm just going to have an extra big one the night before my movers get here
27 June 2021 : thankful for everything i've ever resented about myself actually!
28 June 2021 : i am going to need another year of quarantine to process all of the drama i have been caught up on since being fully vaxxed
28 June 2021 : my going away party will be at the downtown crossing taco bell and only i am invited
28 June 2021 : i "forgot" to plan a going away thing so i am leaving boston as i lived in boston, waiting for a moment of commotion and making a sober irish exit
28 June 2021 : the gonzo being your favorite muppet as a kid to not talking to your family in adulthood pipeline
28 June 2021 : this is a callout post for @parshally_there, the entire 3% in this poll i made during a “i move to new york this week” spiralpic.twitter.com/ELOVC4DRvb
28 June 2021 : as entertainment for my friends i will also be looping all of my enemies into my boston farewell plans
28 June 2021 : you fuckin know it
28 June 2021 : i want an entire album that sounds like "partner in crime"
29 June 2021 : lucy dacus was right my heart's on my sleeve it's embarrassing
29 June 2021 : sahitya lmao
29 June 2021 : it's back in kye's care now and kevin can die mad about it
29 June 2021 : if i die please know it is probably due to filling up my cheers mug with water from the boston common sprinklers and just chugginpic.twitter.com/yBWN6bkFbd
29 June 2021 : please include this in my memorial powerpoint
29 June 2021 : yes i made a cheers shirt yes i made it at cheerspic.twitter.com/aByOobfGBs
29 June 2021 : chris's ghost had a great time at cheers though
29 June 2021 : pic.twitter.com/SJNQmigCpA
30 June 2021 : actually really funny and apt for boston to sneak in one last gut punch in my final two (2) days here
30 June 2021 : medicating my dumb scuffed up heart with what actually matters from this week which is: my friends telling me i'm hot at cheers
30 June 2021 : brooklyn don't break my heart challenge
30 June 2021 : you’re going to be Angry lol
30 June 2021 : cracking (crying and packing)
30 June 2021 : michael ,,,,,,,,
30 June 2021 : every day i read words
30 June 2021 : oh no
30 June 2021 :
1 July 2021 : can’t tell if i’m getting weird looks on this train platform because it’s windy and my skirt is going marilyn monroe mode or because i am carrying a sword
1 July 2021 : tipping my movers extra because of how stinky i am
1 July 2021 : for reasons i cannot explain my coworkers at the harvard book store started a poll of how long i’d make it in new york before i make someone bleed and i’m on the train to the city i always dreamed of living in so i guess we’re about to find outpic.twitter.com/cIHJKYCBaC
1 July 2021 :
3 July 2021 :
8 July 2021 : was i even clinically depressed or did i just live in boston
8 July 2021 : just kidding still depressed just markedly less miserable not even one week into living in new york
8 July 2021 : i think i would have been a good contact tracer based solely on my ability to figure out what the fuck everyone is vaguetweeting about all the time
8 July 2021 : my job is adding the oxford comma when is our showdown
9 July 2021 : all i do at work is say “as per”
10 July 2021 : RT @megathornberry : luv huji luv this $4 dress luv @claudiapostingpic.twitter.com/LH5fUCvF4B
10 July 2021 : had to make considerable physical effort to separate my shoes from a sticky venue floor and i feel renewed
11 July 2021 : retiring names from my dating prospect pool like the sports do with jersey numbers
12 July 2021 : reading my drafts from the week before i moved out of boston and first of all lmaopic.twitter.com/Z0Fj3GPCq5
12 July 2021 : i promise i will be less unhinged in this city or probably just unhinged in different ways
12 July 2021 : i am “holding off” on “dating” in “new york” “until” i get “settled in” and for that reason “only” and “not” because i am in what “doctors” call eeyore mode of the “heart”
12 July 2021 : hitting my daily step goals through the galaxy brain method of: getting lost every five minutes
13 July 2021 : respect to the car blasting el burrito sabanero going down myrtle ave but also what the fuck
13 July 2021 : i know the vaccine is a huge triumph but more importantly when will science advance to the point that tinder will let you filter out profiles mentioning nonmonogamy
13 July 2021 : this is not a tweet against ethical nonmonogamy as a concept this is a tweet burying the lede that i am tragically back on tinder
13 July 2021 : i do not want to date in brooklyn i do not want to date anywhere i want to find myself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and ask myself well h
13 July 2021 : forbidden takes 2021
14 July 2021 : i have had the kind of day where the fire alarm going off while i was in the shower was the least eventful thing to happen after five p.m.
15 July 2021 : now i am mad about this again at three a.m.
15 July 2021 : go 2 gulu-gulu cafe it’s good and i miss it
15 July 2021 : this is like a mile from my new place i’m yellin
15 July 2021 : !!! congrats n best of luck!!!
15 July 2021 : the amount of things i've needed/wanted and almost bought only to find them on the sidewalk within a block of my apartment this week has been wild and does nothing to disabuse me of my starry-eyed new-in-new-york puppy love for this fuckin city
16 July 2021 : “yeah no i don’t think i know anyone at this show, i just moved here” - me at the sheet mag show to my d*te, actively forgetting that half of music twitter lives in new york and also forgetting, crucially, that i am in new york
16 July 2021 : so refreshing to be sweaty from being in a crowd at a sold out show instead of just from stepping foot outside
16 July 2021 : gatorade (medicinal)
17 July 2021 : lmao this is so good
19 July 2021 : WAIT IS THIS WHAT THOSE NOISES WERE
19 July 2021 : thinking about the guy who tried to hit on me at arlene's grocery and opened by gesturing to my tattoo and saying "'cynicism isn't wisdom' — y'know, that's kinda smart,"
20 July 2021 : invoice them
20 July 2021 : are my friends trying to gaslight me into thinking i’m hot
20 July 2021 : just one of my normal thoughts for the feed
20 July 2021 : more evidence …… for my theory ……
20 July 2021 : every day i am the sweatiest i've ever been
20 July 2021 : my one (1) new york gripe thus far is that it’s bonkers that i have to take the train from brooklyn to manhattan to get to ,,, brooklyn
20 July 2021 :
20 July 2021 :
21 July 2021 : solidarity and congratulations to the person in my building who was blasting patsy cline on the patio directly below me three days ago but today is building a table while listening to good 4 you going into dancing on my own going into supercut
21 July 2021 : she always starts playing music when i’m about to take a nap but i’m rooting for her
22 July 2021 : fucking around* and finding out** * i make an offer on ebay and immediately forget ** ebay says my offer was accepted pay now
23 July 2021 : due to demand i am starting a waitlist for people who want to go on dates with me and you move up it if you're willing to go to the times square margaritaville with me
23 July 2021 : just kidding people have already tried to ask me out to the margaritaville as though i would let any first date happen somewhere so sacred
24 July 2021 : i truly cannot tell
24 July 2021 : it is illegal to look at me when i am hungover
24 July 2021 : and also when i’m not
25 July 2021 : presently i am the happiest girl in the west village and also the sweatiest
26 July 2021 : i can’t wait and also can’t stop giving people future teens elevator pitches to get them to come to this
26 July 2021 : - andy samberg
27 July 2021 : you have one job at wirecutter and years later you're still evangelizing oxo products smh
27 July 2021 : hello to the like five people this tweet is for
27 July 2021 : judging by how a n g r y my matches get when i don't reply within ten minutes the main quality people on the apps are looking for in dating prospects is "just constantly staring at tinder and doing exactly nothing else ever"
27 July 2021 : hahaha thank u for Knowing me
28 July 2021 : my love language is when artists tell me i “sit like a rock” while they tattoo me
28 July 2021 : what
28 July 2021 : am getting
28 July 2021 : u already know you’re my emergency tattoo contact
29 July 2021 : “too long” - @alisousa4’s review of long island
30 July 2021 : everybody knows i’m new here because i cross the street like i still fear death
31 July 2021 : the last month it has been too hot to exist and now it is too cold for shorts i’m in hell
31 July 2021 : i am a journalist hot on the case of is taco bell open right now
31 July 2021 : are any magazines taking pitches. my rate is one crunchwrap per word. the piece will be one words long
31 July 2021 : pic.twitter.com/dTYEBqSSZX
31 July 2021 : asking if i’m hungover is a hipaa violation
31 July 2021 : fans and enemies may notice this is not the first time i have tweeted about being hungover this week and i want to assure both groups and their overlap i’m not suddenly Drinking A Lot i just crossed some biological “three light beers body me now” threshold during the troubles
31 July 2021 : thank god
31 July 2021 : suddenly going to the surprise lucy dacus show in williamsburg tomorrow which on one hand rules but on the other is simply not enough time to prepare my dumb little heart to hear night shift live
31 July 2021 : night shift here being in part a placeholder for the songs that actually fuck me up the most because i would sooner share my social security number
31 July 2021 : thinking abt the bookends of my boston to new york arc (2018 having to listen to an adult child constantly refer to new york as “a monument to man’s arrogance” ➤ two weeks before moving here watching king of the hill and realizing he’d been ripping off bobby hill the whole time)
1 August 2021 : anyway i have lived in brooklyn one month tonight and it still feels like a prank i am playing on myself
1 August 2021 : meg ,,,,,,
2 August 2021 : experiencing magical nu york milestones every day such as just now when during my walk home a rat ran over my boot
2 August 2021 : RT @BernieSanders : I am once again asking you to get vaccinated.
2 August 2021 : serotonin
2 August 2021 : the critics* are raving: i'm kicking ass in new york * my friends who sometimes write crit
2 August 2021 : when is the vaccine against brain worms
3 August 2021 : i like the part in i think i'm funny haha by faye webster where faye webster says i think i'm funny haha
3 August 2021 : pov you're the fbi agent in my laptop camera watching me manically slapping my leg as my new tattoo enters the itchy phase of healing
4 August 2021 : we are a household divided
4 August 2021 : they’re Rustic
4 August 2021 : if i ever start talking about "the grind" please mercy kill me. exceptions for runescape contexts only
4 August 2021 : humiliated by my cable management situation
4 August 2021 : if you talk about antivaxxers like they're all brainworms conservatives you are letting a huge contingency off the hook and that contingency is: brainworms liberals
5 August 2021 : in a training where the out-of-company person running it has alluded to me having kids and me having a mortgage. sir i cry when i have to think about taxes
5 August 2021 : gorgeous! spooky! gorgeous n spooky!
6 August 2021 : i’ve stayed silent long enough but we need to talk about the narragansett shortage in bushwick, brooklyn, new york, usa
6 August 2021 : WAITi didn’t know you lived here ??? let’s HANG
6 August 2021 : i will endure the nonsense commute gladly
6 August 2021 : can we hire an executive assistant for our household . pay them in donuts
6 August 2021 : typing “towels for sweat” into the ecommerce search bar
6 August 2021 : every time a celebrity or rando comes out as unwashed i am transported back to the unsuccessful character assassination attempt where my alleged misdeeds included: the fact that i shower everyday
7 August 2021 : three different bars were out of it on more than one visit it’s an emergency sabal
7 August 2021 : i’m just a girl , standing in front of a bodega , asking them to restock the gatorade zero
7 August 2021 : people looking at me on my walk home from the gym like they’ve never seen a drowned rat before ???
7 August 2021 : jakey g probably trying to distract from the resurgence of all-time diss track All Too Well
9 August 2021 : googling symptoms at the gig
9 August 2021 : realizing i an exhibiting phish guy behavior
9 August 2021 : it turns out i am VERY ALLERGIC to NEW YORK MOSQUITOES
9 August 2021 : "but i'm trying not to beat myself up about it :)" - me, knowing full well i am beating myself up about it,
9 August 2021 : i was brought up not to lie
11 August 2021 : megan and i are both Not The Bug Killer and this will be our apartment’s downfall
11 August 2021 : that's me
11 August 2021 : > : (
11 August 2021 : god gives his worst hydration habits to his hottest soldiers
11 August 2021 : i am moving back to boston
12 August 2021 : moana soundtrack still goes
12 August 2021 : l a u r e n
12 August 2021 : lmao come on
12 August 2021 : i would just like it on the record i am fundamentally Anti-Landlord for the twitter anthropologists fifty years from now and also people reading this currently
12 August 2021 : less specific to this or instructive than what you might be looking for, but when i was suddenly experiencing several such attacks a day this helped me reshape how i looked at themhttps://nplusonemag.com/online-only/online-only/every-body-goes-haywire/ …
13 August 2021 : very generous of my roommate to not throw me in a locker when i start talking about "vertical space" in "kitchen organization"
13 August 2021 : the extent to which i don't know what to do in a longterm living situation that doesn't extremely suck is that our fridge has been broken since we moved in and i convinced myself that's "just how the fridge was" (we're getting a new fridge today it's fridge day baby)
13 August 2021 : maybe one day i will have my little new york life together enough that i'm not setting 8:58 alarms for my 9:00 job but we're certainly not there yet
13 August 2021 : every three months my wisdom teeth try to do a brexit from my body
13 August 2021 : does anyone in bushwick have five minutes and also pliers
13 August 2021 : tooth hurty
13 August 2021 : it's 2:30 somewhere
13 August 2021 : me: [tucking myself in for a nap] @megathornberry: bugs bunny died
14 August 2021 : what’s better than this. blues being clues
14 August 2021 : i have one hobby in nu york city and it is going to the largest trader joe’s on the eastern seaboard
14 August 2021 : pauli you make a very compelling argument,
15 August 2021 : i do not want to date in brooklyn i do not want to date anywhere i want to find myself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and ask myself well h
16 August 2021 : so severely sunburned i am daydreaming about putting slices of deli meat on my back for relief
16 August 2021 : do they sell that at the deli
16 August 2021 : okay SAME though (literally the first song i put on the moment i got off my train from boston)
17 August 2021 : hot girl summer has resulted in me this morning canceling a date because i got so sunburned at the beach that now my shoulders are covered in blisters and i cry when my hair grazes them i’m over this hell life
18 August 2021 : i just think it was unsportsmanlike of the sun to not give me a normal sunburn as a warning before giving me one that turned my shoulders into bubble wrap but made from blisters and death pain
18 August 2021 : my roommate @megathornberry looking at my additions to our shared grocery list: "are you sure you just want... different kinds... of milk?"
18 August 2021 : i am having a bad week
19 August 2021 : congrats, Lucy!!!
20 August 2021 : at the kississippi/insiggy gig with second degree burns will not be taking constructive criticism at this time
20 August 2021 : am i crying because i am covered in burn blisters or am i crying because of kississippi’s 2021 album mood ring guess you’ll never know
20 August 2021 : only going to gigs where the band walks onstage to bad bunny from now on thank u @insiggybaby
21 August 2021 : n a r c
21 August 2021 : chris,
21 August 2021 : tokyo drift
21 August 2021 : extremely claudia behavior
22 August 2021 : was! i! wrong!
22 August 2021 : we had to evacuate from the central park show right before what would have been my first time seeing bruce live so solidarity from across the river
22 August 2021 : soaked to the bone on the subway texting my friend about how i got to see barry manilow perform copacabana live in central park moments before an emergency evacuation and my phone autocorrected it to: cop acab ana
22 August 2021 : wait please give me a summary lol
22 August 2021 : this was directly before the mid-manilow emergency evacuation due to an approaching thunder storm which is objectively the funniest thing to happen right after thousands of people singing "chasing the clouds away" and "never was a cloudy day"
23 August 2021 : reflecting on my perfect whirlwind nu york day while i peel skin off my sunburn like a kid in kindergarten about to get yelled at for covering themselves in glue
23 August 2021 : thinking about when my family drove across miami during a category 4 because we wanted a specific cuban sandwich
23 August 2021 : if you run into me and i have a glow about me i am not with child i just saw earth wind and fire perform september live yesterday
23 August 2021 : that i understand this is a mark of your theater terrorism on my life
23 August 2021 : if you saw me no you didn't
23 August 2021 : misogyny
24 August 2021 : join me in dating retirement
24 August 2021 : i get this so often lmao like is the number one quality people look for in dating prospects "constantly on tinder"
24 August 2021 : abolish meetings
24 August 2021 : lol
24 August 2021 : clearlY
24 August 2021 : listen i don't know what i thought lorde meant by "lover's spit left on repeat" until tonight but i did just learn lover's spit is a song
24 August 2021 : i only really knew of them! definitely feel a deep dive approaching
25 August 2021 : while walking the williamsburg bridge said “i’m in dating retirement” and fifteen sentences later “i’m going on a date on thursday” so we’re doing great here at claudia headquarters
25 August 2021 : i’m so sorry, adam
25 August 2021 : $5 high life and a shot deal but it’s selfie and a draftspic.twitter.com/joUJfwBK4a
25 August 2021 : unfortunately all of my best draft/selfie specials happened when i was at my most unhinged last year and i cannot bring myself to keep reviving that thread but it's still the most writing i have done in five yearshttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1236329390004252672 …
25 August 2021 : @bunkosquad I WAS HOVERING OVER YOUR LIKE NOTIFICATION AND CLICKED AND ACCIDENTALLY UNFOLLOWED I HATE TWITTER'S INTERFACE okay that's all
25 August 2021 : my toxic trait is that i use the 🥺 emoji
25 August 2021 : also the "constantly saying 'we're still in a pandemic' to people trying their best but suddenly forgetting that when it comes to tipping extra accordingly" libs
25 August 2021 : PEYTON congrats!!! can't wait to pick up my copy (yes i held off on pre-ordering to buy it in a brick and mortar because i'm SENTIMENTAL and PROUD OF YOU)
25 August 2021 : RT @peytonology : good morning! my first book BOTH SIDES NOW is on shelves today! run to your local bookstore! grab a copy! https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/652876/both-sides-now-by-peyton-thomas/ …pic.twitter.com/1Z4jxAk5tL
25 August 2021 : bending time is sutton rights
25 August 2021 : once again i knew you specifically would have some shit to say about this
25 August 2021 : spotify is my favorite way to tell on myself
26 August 2021 : please tell me your favorite summery songs to help me endure the last stretch of this hell season
26 August 2021 : this is some of what i've had on rotation it's bad i know it's badhttps://open.spotify.com/playlist/2UmriZtmQWikhvyh1q5jJH?si=a1fcb2b08d5c4b29 …
26 August 2021 : ali that is on my bittersweet summer into fall playlist CLEARLY
26 August 2021 : answer my texts sam harris
27 August 2021 : u deserve it
27 August 2021 : what i meant by this is i am seeing the mountain goats (jam band) six times in the next two months (seven if anyone wants to go to the philly one with me)
27 August 2021 : said "it's not supposed to rain until 9pm" and ten minutes later we entered a flood watch effective immediately
27 August 2021 : how am i supposed to go to the largest trader joe's on the eastern seaboard in this downpour
27 August 2021 : oof i hope you’re staying dry! the radar looks wild
27 August 2021 : heat wave is an all-time for me! also, have you heard this cover? (boys of summer is firmly on my *end* of summer playlist)https://daddyissuesband.bandcamp.com/track/boys-of-summer …
28 August 2021 : i love stay positive but this is still objectively true lmao
28 August 2021 : this is my joan of arc moment
28 August 2021 : yeahpic.twitter.com/HyRu8j3kuK
28 August 2021 : i will not be silenced about the gatorade zero shortage in brooklyn new york
28 August 2021 : okay maybe i miss bostonhttps://twitter.com/t3hrecords/status/1431595925454139394 …
28 August 2021 : acab but i will arrest you on 9/11 if you do this
29 August 2021 : RT @platewatchers : we’re back and we only answer to mr. slice nowpic.twitter.com/bNAzS2amEX
29 August 2021 : new england clown chowder
31 August 2021 : okay but 23 days until you get to see me again so
31 August 2021 : can you explain mr. met to me next week
1 September 2021 : happy birthday, Suzy! donating and grateful you’re doing this
1 September 2021 : the turnstile thing sounds like viral marketing for a comeback season of american vandal
2 September 2021 : downtown boys!
2 September 2021 : “me equivoque de nuevo” scorned miami matriarch proverb
2 September 2021 : if you are looking at my face long enough to notice that my eyeliner is uneven that’s on you buddy
3 September 2021 : doing greatpic.twitter.com/sDrm0uYM3X
4 September 2021 : this was literally my friend’s experience when she moved from boston to chicago lol
5 September 2021 : damn seems familiarpic.twitter.com/6sZmsEqkj8
5 September 2021 : five minutes before i planned on leaving my neighborhood bar someone tapped me on the shoulder and it was @JoannaNewSum41 who LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE and i had never met before that’s nu york babypic.twitter.com/ecanLqBJj0
5 September 2021 : ivan is explaining egg punk versus chain punk to me at the dive bar
5 September 2021 : my influence
6 September 2021 : pitbull was right hotel motel holiday inn
6 September 2021 : there’s one in my room now i’m in hell
6 September 2021 : jigglypuff pastry
6 September 2021 : four wirecutter recommendations on my person at the wirecutter party
7 September 2021 : sometimes living in new york is leaving the perfect rooftop party, finding a bookshelf on the sidewalk, carrying it from bed-stuy to bushwick with your roommate, running into the barista from your neighborhood coffee shop in the home stretch, the barista saying “you can do it!”pic.twitter.com/JQFPiFm4UW
7 September 2021 : RT @DowntownBoys : Happy Labor Dayhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtiRmoQEi6A …
7 September 2021 : i’ve been wanting one like this but in addition to $ most of them have to be bracketed (?) to the wall in some way and this one doesn’t! it was a very long mile and my arms hurt so much but it was worth it
7 September 2021 : the mountain goats have a song for all of my major activities such as surviving abuse or stabbing people in the eye
7 September 2021 : something appropriate about cutting your bangs over the bathroom sink minutes before catching the train to the mountain goats show
8 September 2021 : if you’ve never seen one of the most important bands in your life with one of the most important people in your life after one of the hardest years of your life i am here to recommend it to youpic.twitter.com/V3DER894JM
8 September 2021 : you know you can come through anytime for any goats show or even no show
8 September 2021 : hell YEAH come through
8 September 2021 : hi i just spent the past few hours investigating and there are still few greater joys than shout-singing along to songs about unlikely joy and stubborn survival with your friends at a @mountain_goats show
8 September 2021 : hi i just spent the past few hours investigating and there are still few greater joys than shout-singing along to songs about unlikely joy and stubborn survival with your friends at a @mountain_goats show
9 September 2021 : RT @buddy_ferrara : what if we kissed at the death metal gorditas y quesadillas stand pic.twitter.com/ElQYXsCSyx
9 September 2021 : proud of you that shit's hard
9 September 2021 : hi! sorry for the rando reply, saw this in a search — how much is the ticket?
9 September 2021 : turn-up table
9 September 2021 : in a polycule with cholula and breakfast sandwich
10 September 2021 : same
10 September 2021 : @sarahabtw YEEEEEEAHHHH BUDDY
10 September 2021 : the mountain goats
10 September 2021 : RT @megathornberry : many people are saying thishttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1436147476701065216 …
10 September 2021 : pic.twitter.com/SLUvJDnW68
10 September 2021 : hey real quick why does my wellbutrin always smell like eggs
10 September 2021 : oh no
10 September 2021 : okay it might be buproprifogn specific but i don’t know how to spell that
11 September 2021 : google it i swear it’s not just me
11 September 2021 : biggest takeaway from my three-show @mountain_goats audience residency this week is the realization that the line i've long thought said "i get extra mayonnaise it's the best" is in fact saying "i get extra mayonnaise it's a mess" please respect my family's privacy in this time
11 September 2021 : it is in my heart
11 September 2021 : david byrne’s american zootopia
11 September 2021 : running late to being early for the gig because i cropped my bootleg carly rae jepsen shirt bad
11 September 2021 : appropriately there are Several people i have matched with on tinder at the future teens show
11 September 2021 : i am in dating retirement but for you i will offer my services
12 September 2021 : sad about harvard square in brooklyn nu york missed u @futureteensusa
12 September 2021 : okay acab but i am performing a citizens arrest on whoever was responsible for drunk ii by mannequin pussy coming on immediately after the future teens set there is only so much i can take
12 September 2021 : i was there when @theamyhoffman invented mowing the living room
12 September 2021 : THEY DID it’s my favorite song off that ep because of the way that i am
12 September 2021 : the winery we saw the mountain goats shows at last week was right next to Little Island and unfortunately the instagram island slapspic.twitter.com/8HYLI4WJNO
13 September 2021 : tonight, due to my refusal to check maps, i have accidentally ended up: the world trade center, on the brooklyn bridge, outside the VMAs yes i’m new in town how could you tell
13 September 2021 : i do not have or look at tiktok because the videos are too long for my attention span
14 September 2021 : due to my shriveled little lizard brain there are maybe three songs i can run to without getting bored and one of them is downtown by macklemore (2016)
14 September 2021 : downtown by macklemore is the only song that exists
14 September 2021 : so much happens in that song. homer could never
14 September 2021 : the “ali deserves every good thing” committee is extremely for this
15 September 2021 : this is white-rice-based-culture representation (yrs, a latina who can’t crack the brown rice mystery)
15 September 2021 : all i'm saying is that if certain mayo advocates [aioli allies (aiollies)] strong-arm this song into any of the brooklyn shows next month i want you to know that there will be at least one person in the crowd singing "it's the best" in peaceful protest
16 September 2021 : didn’t know i needed this until this exact moment but now it is the only thing i need
16 September 2021 : RT @drvarg01 : food delivery is hell https://www.curbed.com/article/nyc-delivery-workers.html …pic.twitter.com/Byu0wmd16g
16 September 2021 : ooh do you think this would go well with overnight oats + chia seeds? or does it not feel like an Oat Compatible Liquid
17 September 2021 : turns out tattoos hurt. have scientists looked into this
18 September 2021 : i too am proud of you (could not be me)
18 September 2021 : got a witch tattoo but it’s wrapped up so i can’t stare at it and i am making it everyone’s problempic.twitter.com/nvxkP6MEPR
18 September 2021 : my tattoo’s got a tattoo too
18 September 2021 : of course
18 September 2021 : this makes me so happy
18 September 2021 : omg
19 September 2021 : i am seeing american utopia on broadway tonight and i keep just typing “david byrne” into google maps
19 September 2021 : some personal news: saw david byrne say “you’re fucked”
19 September 2021 : WHAT
19 September 2021 : i got a scratch on the back of my arm from an iron fence but i can’t tell how deep it is because it is on the back of my arm anyway remember how i missed my tetanus shot appointment to hang out with [redacted]
19 September 2021 : i’ve just been putting off figuring out how to do anything medical in ny because It’s Overwhelming
19 September 2021 : i will get my tetanus shot for u
20 September 2021 : if anybody’s wondering which part of american utopia barreled right through my “i can’t really cry ever since i went on wellbutrin” stronghold it was when davie burn started talking about how what matters most is our connections with the people around us
20 September 2021 : looking through my notepad (shut up) and the exact wording was “who we are exists in the connections between all of us” and it made me immediately intensely grateful for every person permanently or fleetingly in my little life
20 September 2021 : wait also i saw david byrne talk about tinder
20 September 2021 : if i had studied as hard in school as i do when i'm cramming discographies for upcoming shows where i'm only loosely familiar with some of the bands i too might have racked up student debt like all of my non-dropout contemporaries
20 September 2021 : clinging to bike shorts season for dear life
21 September 2021 : holy shit
21 September 2021 : did they have it
22 September 2021 : happy tweet notifications on for demi adejuyigbe day to all those who celebrate
22 September 2021 : review of my dating life
22 September 2021 : you're WHAT
22 September 2021 : the fitbit stays on in the pit
22 September 2021 : that’s RIGHT
23 September 2021 : pic.twitter.com/cnurNypXE2
23 September 2021 : i am invoicing john darnielle for every irresponsible expense i have justified because of the lyric "do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive"
23 September 2021 : unsightly at the bagel spot
23 September 2021 : okay they just started playing beautiful by christina aguilera. you can’t lie to me i look like a scarecrow that died
23 September 2021 : clearly the best part is that you get to make it now but it’s also great news for the claudia getting any sleep this week industry
23 September 2021 : flip off d****l cafe while you’re on the square as a favor to me
23 September 2021 : LMAOOO this has brought me. so much joy
24 September 2021 : happy birthday bruce springsteenhttps://the-niche.blog/2018/04/16/the-top-ten-horniest-bruce-springsteen-songs/ …
24 September 2021 : RT @DowntownBoys : Our first and only show for the year is tomorrow night in Manhattan at @PeoplesForumNYC with the amazing @RatasEnZelo. Earlier show, doors at 6pm, only two bands https://peoplesforum.org/event/downtown-boys-concert-with-ratas-en-zelo/ …
24 September 2021 : boyfriend revealpic.twitter.com/gX40tizP2E
24 September 2021 : this is no kendy no hay tricotri erasure
24 September 2021 : my power increases parallel to the availability of pumpkin reese’s
24 September 2021 : who in silicon valley will invest in my startup where the business model is me seeing american utopia with every person who's ever been important to me one by one and there is no profit
24 September 2021 : my healing tattoo is itchy but i'm being so brave about it
24 September 2021 : important:https://open.spotify.com/track/2CBD4poQg5rcusLcwLPOF0?si=aL7HXAmuTee2RWfw9PNm4Q&dl_branch=1 …
24 September 2021 : oh to be back in harvard square experiencing intense pedestrian road rage
24 September 2021 : this is my favorite part of the housewarming flyer i made using my extensive graphic design skills and my heartpic.twitter.com/nVhFvWpheH
24 September 2021 : drifting off to sleep startled all the way awake by suddenly remembering: horse ebooks
24 September 2021 : subverting gender norms by being a girl with no bedframe
24 September 2021 : jordan from jordan's furniture call me
24 September 2021 : should i finally go to my first glitter boys when i am back in boston
24 September 2021 : punk show with two bands and six (6) pm doors is claudia rights
24 September 2021 : in the pit trying to remember if i put on deodorant
25 September 2021 : chris,
25 September 2021 : have you ever moshed to late 1800s leftist worker anthem l’internationale because at the @DowntownBoys gig you can and i did
25 September 2021 : before the pit / after the pitpic.twitter.com/4yVzmyQtOe
25 September 2021 : if you walk at a leisurely pace fuck you
25 September 2021 : you are allowed
25 September 2021 : it’s because of the mario casting isn’t it
25 September 2021 : thank you for standing for this cause while i sit
25 September 2021 : i will fabricate an alibi
25 September 2021 : YEAAAAH BUDDY
25 September 2021 : RT @jamieloftusHELP : legal win! as of today, crushes on me without disclosure are considered a federal crime
26 September 2021 : hell yeah olivia
28 September 2021 : what. What
29 September 2021 : can someone tell me if i have mustard on my face
29 September 2021 : humiliating to be walking around bushwick with a diet pepsi
29 September 2021 : thanks
29 September 2021 : these went away within a couple of weeks when i went up to 300! hope that’s the case for u too
29 September 2021 : of the times in my little life where i’ve gotten ghosted none have been more painful than the latest, five minutes ago, when i walked up to the corner i always get soft serve from and the ice cream truck was not there,
29 September 2021 : throwing parties is fun because you get to choose the snacks like a little potato chip tyrant
29 September 2021 : i am going to start a rumor the party is canceled so i can have my way with the pumpkin reeses
30 September 2021 : RT @chris_conqueso : Just me, brushing my teeth and listening to boygenius in a pod hotel, excited to see @claudiaposting for the second time ever
30 September 2021 : daily
30 September 2021 : every time no scrubs comes on in public it is a sign from god
30 September 2021 : still thinking about yesterday when i was checking out at trader joe's and the cashier picked up [pumpkin item redacted], looked at me, and said "THIS is your one seasonal item?" i'm going into witness protection
30 September 2021 : no i am famously in coffee retirement
30 September 2021 : i love to do aerobics in the pit
30 September 2021 : eating sushi at the punk show
30 September 2021 : YES i told drunk roni i would be here. where are u
30 September 2021 : that also kind of describes where we are lmao we are in the main part towards the back next to the weird corralled section with the chairs
30 September 2021 : it’s the most gorgeous nu york night and i am at the most gorgeous central park show with my gorgeous friends drinking a gorgeous little beer concrete jungle where dreamz are made of
30 September 2021 : directly next to the lasts barricade perpendicular to the stagepic.twitter.com/DBj0lfSc7x
30 September 2021 : but we’re going in The Pit after this set
30 September 2021 : should i join the meet and greet line for the person i matched with on tinder who tried to get me to invite him over at 4am last time he was in town just for the chaos
30 September 2021 : i am already deleting this tweet
30 September 2021 : at the back of the crowd doing my affirmations (i will find a way to get to the pit)
1 October 2021 : the pit smells like feet
1 October 2021 : chris: well you’re always up front at shows somehow me: not aaalways also me: *accidentally ends up at the front within the first song in a pit so dense no one could move their arms*
1 October 2021 : tonight at the karaoke bar: cuz i love you by lizzo, the man who can’t be moved by the script, the cure — everyone on the east side is going through it
1 October 2021 : RT @FranziaMom : Joyce Manor covering I Saw Water is my Nevermind
1 October 2021 : my new top "truly thought i might die" moment was last night in the joyce manor pit when like twenty people fell over during the first song and i was under several of them for several minutes and honestly a lil kiss from mortality made the rest of the set feel zestier, 10/10
1 October 2021 : i have a bruise on my jaw from getting kicked in the face during I Saw Water last night and i will cherish it forever
1 October 2021 : i missed the pit so much
1 October 2021 : i will be doing twenty shows at the taco bell five minutes from brooklyn steel
1 October 2021 : for every show lcd soundsystem plays at brooklyn steel i will eat one doritos locos taco
1 October 2021 : due to the wonders of contraceptive medicine i just made my roommate text me only the word "tampons" so i don't forget to get them at target because i'm "giving myself a period today"
1 October 2021 : exciting friday night of walking sixty minutes to a target to get halloween napkins because the ones at the family dollar were not up to my standards
2 October 2021 : fighting for my life in the target halloween section
2 October 2021 : MY OLD HOME
2 October 2021 : do you want me to get vanilla
2 October 2021 : megan i am In my bedroom
2 October 2021 : i have not stopped screaming about this i can’t wait for these kiddos to find out how lucky and loved they are
3 October 2021 : don't play it yet i am omw
3 October 2021 : current chris fleming company is coming levels: i am polishing the trash can
3 October 2021 : is it legal to be this happy
3 October 2021 : the rooftop next to our rooftop is heated because our rooftop party has monster mash blasting on a loop
3 October 2021 : we found out one of them was turning 21 tonight and we got them to actually truly parkour over to our rooftop so we could dance to usher and give them miller high lifes
3 October 2021 : we thought they were ditching us once they found out none of us were born in the 2000s but then they back with more alcohol
3 October 2021 : i love
3 October 2021 : humiliatingly at the exact time this was tweeted i was wearing sheer black tights on a brooklyn rooftop https://twitter.com/urmomlolroasted/status/1444465314331254786 …pic.twitter.com/8qnjz8lYWM
3 October 2021 : i woke up in bed with a bag of potato chip
4 October 2021 : harry styles due to i am seeing harry styles tonight
4 October 2021 : thinking about the woman from the diner last night who was furiously typing on facebook… what did she know
4 October 2021 : instagram is down so here are the four horsemen of the apocalypse they are all versions of me from what i am now re… https://t.co/iRJUrWuaK3
4 October 2021 : haven't even gotten ready yet and i already know i'm going to be underdressed for the harry styles show
5 October 2021 : okay APPARENTLY i missed the FEATHER BOA memo
5 October 2021 : girl in harry styles’s band with a rainbow guitar strap and sick theremin skills call me
5 October 2021 : the mood at the harry styles function is a bar bathroom where the girls are in deep and very vocal awe of each other but there are thousands and thousands of them and also there is a house band
5 October 2021 : 1) what 2) the fuck
5 October 2021 : @alisousa4 absolutely not. you can’t make me press play on this
6 October 2021 : livid with you and by extension michael that i just had to google “diana the musical” because my immediate thought was that SURELY that this tweet couldn’t possibly mean there is a PRINCESS DIANA musical and i still had to find out Which diana it was about if not ross
7 October 2021 : grill AND chill? in this economy?
7 October 2021 : yes i am trying to figure out what to get for lunch
7 October 2021 : i am taking public accountability for stepping on someone’s toe at the punk show last week
7 October 2021 : this doesn’t happen to you because you’re god’s favorite and i meanwhile have in some way earned his pettiest punishments
7 October 2021 : i need you all to know that everything i have heard about squid game to date i have heard working under the assumption that it was an actual real life game show
7 October 2021 : in my defense it somehow took me until today to hear about any of the death parts which is what finally made me go "wait"
7 October 2021 : "i thought i had covid but i was just dehydrated" is the new "i once thought i had mono for a whole year; it turned out i was just really bored" (yes i thought i had covid yes i was just dehydrated)
7 October 2021 : if you care about me at all you will give me halloween costume ideas
7 October 2021 : why would you make me read this
8 October 2021 : trying to make plans for when i visit [city redacted] like "do you want to hang out i will be here at some point no i don't know when or where or for how long yet yes my trip starts in four days"
8 October 2021 : in a dark place (googling "where is communismkills now")
8 October 2021 : all i know is that my friends already know this trip is a mistake and i am under strict instructions Not to miss cheekface in the name of [city redacted]
8 October 2021 : adding reminder about my PTO to my work calendar, my email signature, and my tinder bio
8 October 2021 : every time i buy tickets for yet another october show my bank account and calendar make clown honking noises at me
8 October 2021 : just got back to back negative covid tests AND i'm no longer congested AND i'm half an hour away from my first real vacation at this job claudias posting their ws
8 October 2021 : it is cyberbullying to acknowledge my typos
8 October 2021 : i cannot believe you've been here five seconds and this happens to you WHEN DO I GET MY HOLD STEADY OMEN
8 October 2021 : i have established a weekend for myself that involves going into williamsburg five times in three days i need a manager
8 October 2021 : me: gotta go i think i’m running late for the gig the gig: there are five people here music starts in seven hourshttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/685647415240691714 …
8 October 2021 : oh i’m going on three months here and still learning how huge it is the hard way
8 October 2021 : tried to pull up a screenshot of my ticket to show at the box office but instead i pulled up this recently saved photo of kathy batespic.twitter.com/p6ti5holkT
8 October 2021 : knitting factory ticket guy i am so sorry
8 October 2021 : hi @God when am i gonna learn to not be """on time""" for shows please respond
8 October 2021 : gotta be less punctual, more punktual
9 October 2021 : WJERE FROM
9 October 2021 : honored to have seen it
9 October 2021 : something extra infuriating about getting catcalled from cars like mind your business and enjoy your conditioned air
9 October 2021 : really tragic that i have the hottest roommate and no one else does but that is the cross i must bear
9 October 2021 : stomping around bushwick pissed off that hop along put the line “how simple my heart can be frightens me” in a song as a clear personal attack on me specifically
9 October 2021 : i have been through enough already hop along
9 October 2021 : catch me at the hop along show tonight processing entire years of my life in the pit
9 October 2021 : drafts are full so it is claudia content happy hour againpic.twitter.com/pQz9NigwHF
9 October 2021 : they can if u believe
9 October 2021 : it was in response to a spicy tweet i posted from somewhere so crowded i immediately lost signal and couldn’t delete it for an HOUR
10 October 2021 : tomberlin: do you want a gay one or do you — all of brooklyn steel: GAAAAAY
10 October 2021 : i have thought about this and it is a dealbreaker
10 October 2021 : splatter on my boot has dried to look like white paint making me appear artistic or industrious when i know in my heart it is in fact vanilla soft serve
10 October 2021 : while carving stuff into my arm my tattoo artist kept calling the pandemic “these shenanigans” in his thick russian accent
11 October 2021 : today in the subway i looked down and saw a single nail clipping
11 October 2021 : i am going to [city redacted] to hurt my own feelings
11 October 2021 : the needing to be a pleasure to have in class to needing to be the easiest tattoo client pipeline
11 October 2021 : i owe my life to packing cubes
12 October 2021 : left for the gig in the middle of packing for an early bus i am so stressed out that i might even have a single beer at the gig
12 October 2021 : great time at the gig asking everyone if they thought my tattoo was infected or just bruised
13 October 2021 : puking on the mass ave sidewalk not physically but spiritually
14 October 2021 : if you saw me on mass ave no you didn’t
14 October 2021 : @TixDog truly the highest honor
14 October 2021 : riot: perennial
14 October 2021 : thinking about tuesday when i told my old bookstore boss i was making misguided choices and he said “congratulation… https://t.co/XOtj2jT4FA
14 October 2021 : unfollowed blocked reported
14 October 2021 : out of generosity i will unfollow block report you also
14 October 2021 : acab also stands for all clowns are bad
14 October 2021 : i watched killer klowns from outer space last night and i can never get the old me back
14 October 2021 : is that just 90% of the men i’ve dated
14 October 2021 : why is it still two showers a day weather in the american northeast (i know why)
14 October 2021 : trespassing at my old workplace cutting my bangs in the bathroom cleaning the little hairs off my face using the glue part of the office’s sticky notes
15 October 2021 : seems fake ?
15 October 2021 : achieving my truest form by crying on the orange line. again
16 October 2021 : i think i have a cursed soul bond with charlie’s kitchen in cambridge massachusetts usa
16 October 2021 : glitter boys
16 October 2021 : going for gold at the drunk lipstick application olympix
16 October 2021 : the crying for hours to your friends buying you drinks at glitter boys pipeline
16 October 2021 : i am not in boston
16 October 2021 : i am sorry i contributed to this. i was fixing my lipstick
16 October 2021 : i don’t know how to get body glitter off me and i am trying to accept my fate as the sparkliest person on my flight
16 October 2021 : did not miss the mbta but absolutely missed unhinged mbta bus drivers
16 October 2021 : PEYTON why am i finding this out on the actual bus to logan
16 October 2021 : my plane has been on the tarmac for forty-five minutes and the pilot just told us they’re going to fix it by “turning the entire plane off and then on again. like ctrl+alt+delete.”
16 October 2021 : linkedin park
16 October 2021 : after two and a half hours on the tarmac we’ve been informed laguardia isn’t letting planes land for at least another hour and we’re returning to the gate and i think it’s actually very funny and appropriate for boston to be holding me hostage
16 October 2021 : i mean at least someone in boston wants me even if the someone is delta airlines
16 October 2021 : as far as ruthless attacks on me personally the actual funniest thing that could happen after a five-hour airport nightmare at the conclusion of an emotional boston trip did and it was: delta airlines playing august by taylor swift on the plane during the reboarding process
17 October 2021 : “i just think it’s really funny that you’re cursed in boston”
18 October 2021 : dehydrated in the japanese breakfast pit
18 October 2021 : seeing shows when you are already in a state of unrelated fragility is like doing performance enhancing drugs for the sport of going through it
18 October 2021 : i think it’s the lowercase ass for me
18 October 2021 : proud of u
18 October 2021 : last week at the sinclair someone on their staff asked me if i was okay when i was just looking at the moon
19 October 2021 : cool shirt if you love new york so much why don’t you do something* about it * hang out with megan and i
19 October 2021 : BIG SAME. soon!!!
19 October 2021 : every day i think about how at a very niche basement show in woonsocket rhode island someone we'd never seen before stumbled in and i said "that looks exactly like pauly d" and how years later i learned pauly d is from that area. pauly was it you
19 October 2021 : i love your jacket in the first one which i know isn’t the point of these
20 October 2021 : hello from ya girl and these two dresses i didn’t buy tonightpic.twitter.com/qQq6NE9UMJ
20 October 2021 : if you can see my spotify activity and catch me listening to the cranberries just go ahead and do a mercy killing
20 October 2021 : i was supposed to see american utopia for zero dollars on saturday night but couldn't because the city of boston was holding me hostage which i think i deserve somehow
20 October 2021 : i am getting salt and pepper dinered with shakira’s whenever wherever at urban jungle in bushwick
21 October 2021 : actually losing my wallet is a gift from the universe because it wanted me to fixate on something worth being upset about for a change
21 October 2021 : if you see me walking around brooklyn with a thousand yard stare it’s because i just found my wallet in the tote bag i checked one thousand times yesterday hours after cancelling my cards and ordering a new id
21 October 2021 : this was a ploy by the state of massachusetts to force me to renew my mass id the week after it held me hostage at logan airport for six hours. joke’s on you charlie i refuse to die in the commonwealth
23 October 2021 : coffee shop owner: this says “contains a bio-engineered food ingredient” what does that mean barista: that should not be legal coffee shop owner: they’re ringpops
23 October 2021 : pic.twitter.com/TivWaqA3LZ
23 October 2021 : i’m about to hit four months in nu york and i have been stressed about money every minute of it
23 October 2021 : you’re the unequivocal mvp here
23 October 2021 : RT @wikivictorian : The Washington Herald, Washington DC, November 1, 1907.pic.twitter.com/cywWdq3tq4
23 October 2021 : i voted cool ranch but this is flagrant spicy sweet chili erasure
23 October 2021 : i am wearing goats shirt because it’s goats daypic.twitter.com/A95u4XKu6W
24 October 2021 : it is a truth universally acknowledged that at every mountain goats show there must be three very loud very persist… https://t.co/TiW3hRhgtZ
24 October 2021 : it's my phish guy behavior week
25 October 2021 : does anyone want to buy my lucy dacus tickets for tomorrow (monday) night at brooklyn steel due to my personal problems i can’t bring myself to skip one of the four mountain goats shows i’m seeing this week
26 October 2021 : @mountain_goats hi jd idk how you’re feelin about playing You Were Cool but if it’s at all favorably i’d be over the moon if it made it into any of the brooklyn solo sets bc it is very dear to me but i haven’t seen it live even after [redacted] tmg shows and also i just got this:pic.twitter.com/Kwgre6vqzh
26 October 2021 : ERIN
26 October 2021 : hahaha all good! stoked for tonight (iiif i make it now that i have to lobotomize the part of my brain that has read “i see her in the front row all the time”)
26 October 2021 : if you saw me no you didn't
26 October 2021 : the humiliation of having to read “i see her in the front row all the time” tweeted about you by the band you’re about to see three nights in a row ,,, i’m going into witness protection
26 October 2021 : remember our coordinated snitchwich front row crew in ft lauderdale ,,, simpler times
26 October 2021 : yeah i hope you’re ready to stand next to someone in full ghostface for several hours
26 October 2021 : @mountain_goats thank you.
26 October 2021 : chowder
27 October 2021 : “this song has had quite a day” - john darnielle introducing No Children at tonight’s tmg show
27 October 2021 : unfortunately third night of a three show run which means i no longer have "well i don't want to get banned from the venue yet" as the thing holding me back from punching any of the many clowns at the [redacted] function
27 October 2021 : honestly it is only by the grace of god that in all my years i have still not started a fistfight at a mountain goats show
27 October 2021 : oh, you too?
28 October 2021 : being twenty-six is just constantly worrying you’ve wasted your whole life and then remembering you’re only twenty-six in an endless hell loop
28 October 2021 : Hello New York Does Anyone Want To See Bad Bad Hats At The Mercury Lounge I Have An Extra Ticket But It's An Early Show
28 October 2021 : this is the winter i die from exposure because i took cardi b saying "a hoe never gets cold" to heart too hard
29 October 2021 : i just got a flu shot for the first time in my life i love being insured just kidding i hate our hell nation
29 October 2021 : many have asked “hey c why’d you see @mountain_goats seven times in two months” and among many phish-guy-behavior reasons the biggest is: seeing a band you love w people you love who also love that band is one of the best things there is and i didn’t get to do it at all last yearpic.twitter.com/99d7esXK5P
29 October 2021 : come to new york
29 October 2021 : yes that second photo is @alisousa4 and i w/ our matching match tattoos referencing the “do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive / do every stupid thing to try to drive the dark away” song and yes those directives factor into me making seven-shows-two-months type choices
29 October 2021 : absolutely no shade to phish guys the mountain goats are a jam band now i am one of you
31 October 2021 : whO
1 November 2021 : judging by what i have seen in brooklyn the only costumes that exist are ted lasso and velma
1 November 2021 : am i posting this while dressed as one of ten thousand velmas? yes
1 November 2021 : the ted lasso down the bar at birdy’s just finished explaining squid game in excruciating detail before asking two… https://t.co/gqMuidGGf6
1 November 2021 : another night i have self-sabotaged by doing my “a hoe never gets cold” affirmations” (i am cold)
1 November 2021 : i love you and also i hate that in the first one i look like the human embodiment of the billy ray cyrus much to think about tweet
1 November 2021 : https://twitter.com/wholesomefoxx/status/1454835581083693056 …pic.twitter.com/Vfr5TGCEl9
1 November 2021 : depression is just supply chain issues
1 November 2021 : still haven’t gone on a date to the times square margaritaville mostly because i keep saying no to people trying to take me on a date to the times square margaritaville
1 November 2021 : I Work In Health Insurance And Needing To Deal With My Health Insurance Still Strikes Terror Into My Heart And Immediately Depletes My Stamina Bar
2 November 2021 : at dinner i asked to substitute one of the sides for crispy potatoes and the server pointed out that the other side was already mashed potato as though i'm not at all times trying to maximize my potato intake
2 November 2021 : she didn't even know that i had a huge pile of home fries this morning
4 November 2021 : visiting friends (providence place mall escalators)
4 November 2021 : first of all lmao
4 November 2021 : the real mark of found family isn’t that i have my own set of keys to my friend olivia’s apartment in providence it’s that she’s kept my bottle of dry shampoo in her bathroom for me for three whole years
4 November 2021 : yeah
4 November 2021 : here is me in olivia’s bathroom three years ago and tonight lmaopic.twitter.com/ykmrZyBLG0
5 November 2021 : unfortunately i am honoring my providence tradition of “drink as many narragansetts as possible”
5 November 2021 : for me this is three
5 November 2021 : if i do not send any bridge-burning texts everyone has to give me a medal one by one
5 November 2021 : i am so sorry about Two Gansett Clsudia but i am so glad i got to see you
5 November 2021 : i talked to complete strangers about how good you are tonight
5 November 2021 : adam stop doing the weakerthans to me
5 November 2021 : adam this is an attack
5 November 2021 : guilty
5 November 2021 : will never forgive anyone who has made me feel the specific sadness that led to me crying in a rhode island mcdonald’s drive through at 2am while an employee absolutely listened bc when we talked about getting twenty mcnuggets in between crying/pep talks it showed up on screen
5 November 2021 : sorry mcdonald’s employee who heard a lot about how hot and cool and kind i am while we waited to order but this one’s on you
5 November 2021 : it was part of my many drunk “i don’t miss boston but i miss specific people and feelings from boston” ted talks
5 November 2021 : last night two beer claudia made plans to go to boston emo night at the providence gig
5 November 2021 : unconscionable, cruel, ruthless,
5 November 2021 : SAME (it might be the one after the one coming up though)
5 November 2021 : okay
6 November 2021 : if you love to be stared at like a little freak come to new england
6 November 2021 : it’s making me think abt the moments when i was sure i was gonna die in the joyce manor pit
6 November 2021 : yeah i can’t imagine what this was like just knowing how scary THAT was
6 November 2021 : i love providence road eye land with my whole dang heart
6 November 2021 : great to spend time with dear friends after so long but we all know i missed the as220 bathroom wallpaper most of allpic.twitter.com/vJfhacGKiC
6 November 2021 : let’s go see terror pigeon the next time terror pigeon is at as220 eddie from north providence is invited also
8 November 2021 : many people are saying this
9 November 2021 : 1) wirecutter remains the best team i've ever worked with 2) years after working there, i'm still dealing w/ reverberating financial effects of nyt's unconscionable approach to compensating its workersin solidarity @wirecutterunion and i hope you are, too.https://twitter.com/wirecutterunion/status/1457765886903869448 …
9 November 2021 : leak the recipe
9 November 2021 : men go to music college and emerge proficient in the wrong kind of audacity
9 November 2021 : meant 2 tweet this one three years ago butt i forgot
10 November 2021 : SEE YOU AGAIN SOOON
10 November 2021 : claudia and erin post-show pizza slice when (i know when)
10 November 2021 : please do not subtweet me
10 November 2021 : are my friends trying to gaslight me into thinking i’m hot
10 November 2021 : i am the michael jordan of knowing when someone is about to bring up the grateful dead
11 November 2021 : finished reading the autofiction book set mostly in bushwick right as the l train i was on pulled into my stop in bushwick
11 November 2021 : today is exactly three months before i turn twenty-seven and i'm being very normal about it
11 November 2021 : i love soured dough
11 November 2021 : you're welcome
11 November 2021 : feeling about spotify wrapped the same way i used to feel about looming report cards when i was sleeping through class and never doing any of my homework because of depression except this is going to be more humiliating and damning
11 November 2021 : RT @joshgondelman : Solidarity with the Wirecutter Union.https://twitter.com/wirecutterunion/status/1458799155787223041 …
11 November 2021 : listen. i have no fuckin clue how tall i actually am
11 November 2021 : okay
11 November 2021 : beat the out of toner allegations
11 November 2021 : you know how there are some theft detection (dumb) devices that stain your hands. same concept but so that i know if someone i am meeting for the first time has googled me
11 November 2021 : same
12 November 2021 : okay but actually how tall i am please doxx me i need to know
12 November 2021 : you are only saying this because you know you have Important To Claudia Insurance or i would be making arrangements to fight u
12 November 2021 : have never in my life been as offended as tonight at the bar when i was waiting for the bartender to come back with my beers and a man tried to mansplain gansetts to me. narragansett. to me
12 November 2021 : he was wearing a yankees hat and he was trying to explain ,,, to me ,,, why gansetts are good
12 November 2021 : he was “”flirtatiously”” trying to give me shit for not getting narragansett when i had in fact just helped finish off a pitcher of narragansett. he was like “i was just trying to explain to THESE PEOPLE why narragansett is good.” these people were, you guessed it, bartenders
12 November 2021 : RT @certaintragedy : It should be illegal to wear a yankees hat and drink a gansett simultaneously
12 November 2021 : roommate is out of town , tenants of other apartment on our floor have mysteriously disappeared and i am trying to be harriet the spy about it ,,, you know what that means: state of grace (taylor's version) (released fifteen minutes ago) (2021) loudest volume imaginable
12 November 2021 : all too well ten minute version
12 November 2021 : me at 11:55PM not remembering what day it was: wow it rules that i got home before midnight i can go to sleep immediately me at 12:00AM realizing: i am going to listen to red (taylor's version) front to back on a loop until i collapse
12 November 2021 : unfortunately sometimes taylor swift yells "you call me up again just to break me like a promise" and i am 26 years old which is also the age i am currently
12 November 2021 : taylor swift
12 November 2021 : taylor. swift
12 November 2021 : "you kept me like a secret but i kept you like an oath" i am cutting up my acab booty shorts and calling the police
12 November 2021 : okay this is a safe space who else went to at least one high school dance in the early 2010s where you and your friends did the goat noise during i knew you were trouble
12 November 2021 : all too well ten minute version is better than hotel california
12 November 2021 : all too well ten minute version is bohemian rhapsody for girls who have googled "is avoidant attachment my fault"
12 November 2021 : the line "you kept me like a secret but i kept you like an oath" is a human rights violation
12 November 2021 : what do you think jake gyllenhaal's witness protection program name is
12 November 2021 : all too well ten minute version is bohemian rhapsody for girls who have googled "how to spot avoidant attachment"
12 November 2021 : taylor swift
12 November 2021 : pic.twitter.com/pX8cIuZhSc
12 November 2021 : i'm girls
12 November 2021 : yes i have made great strides forward in my life in 2021 if i don't go to at least one taylor swift night at a new york club before it's over this whole year will have been a failure
13 November 2021 : as you can see i am having a normal onepic.twitter.com/U9iCg57OCw
13 November 2021 :
13 November 2021 : doxxing myself as someone who had the url ravenclawdia and was a pillar of the glee fandom but i found this yesterday and i think i might get a tattoo of ithttps://twitter.com/comradecrowley/status/1171041988063293440 …
13 November 2021 : yesterday i was thinking about how nice it is that i never run into anyone in my neighborhood and immediately got a “just saw you on knickerbocker lol” message on a dating app
13 November 2021 : at a coffee shop being very productive (working on my spreadsheet of possible ****** ***** tattoos)
13 November 2021 : i am amending this to "how nice it is that i never run into anyone WHO LIVES IN THE STATE OF NEW YORK" because i got an immediate dm from known philadelphia resident @JoannaNewSum41 who i have run into minutes from my apartment
13 November 2021 : you either die a barista or live long enough to see yourself become the person too spaced out to hear your order called
13 November 2021 : i unmatched because laying eyes on me is a dealbreaker
13 November 2021 : CUTE
13 November 2021 : customer just asked the barista why there are photos of frodo everywhere and after a long long pause the barista says "to pay our respects"
13 November 2021 : dweebs in bushwick it rules
13 November 2021 : i have an unhinged tattoo idea. again
13 November 2021 : doing my "not every tattoo i get needs to be accompanied by the words it references" affirmations
14 November 2021 : borat voice my strife
14 November 2021 : the extent to which i have lost my mind this weekend
14 November 2021 : microdosing not having depression by macrodosing caffeine
14 November 2021 : entered this weekend with zero taylor swift tattoos emerging from this weekend with two taylor swift tattoospic.twitter.com/iPJTHsBBmN
14 November 2021 : i am just trying to be the kind of person amber thinks is cool
15 November 2021 : i am putting myself up for thanksgiving adoption. i can't cook but i am a great little guest
15 November 2021 : i bioengineered this for myself during the unemployment part of covid 2020 by not getting out of bed until like 3 and then my body adjusted accordingly
15 November 2021 : picked up a second job which historically i only do when i'm running away from my problems or broke (it's both)
15 November 2021 : RT @nyguild: 📢 Workers across the @nytimes are rallying tomorrow. Why? ⬇️👀 Workers at @wirecutterunion @NYTGuildTech and @NYTimesGuild hav…
16 November 2021 : i just realized these brought my tattoo count up to 13, a number invented by taylor swift,
16 November 2021 : the crying in harvard square to crying at a rhode island mcdonald's drive through at two a.m. to getting two taylor swift tattoos in brooklyn pipeline
16 November 2021 : the feminine urge to debase yourself
16 November 2021 : if you ponder your orb hair grows on your palms
16 November 2021 : omw
16 November 2021 :
16 November 2021 : RT @ellomelissa : obviously i went thru a breakup and listened to so hot youre hurting my feelings 4 million times i don't need spotify to tell me that
16 November 2021 : just confronted some numbers and i have more than doubled my tattoo count since moving to brooklyn ,,, less than half a year ago ,,,
16 November 2021 : i am going to hit fifteen by my birthday in february and every single one makes me feel more like myself and more at home in my body :-)
16 November 2021 : where do you get wall calendars that don't big time suck
16 November 2021 : i am hanging by a thread and that thread is the healing power of taco tuesday deals at my neighborhood taqueria
18 November 2021 : live from new york it's me selling one ticket each for the @jeffrosenstock 11/27 and 11/29 shows at warsaw in brooklyn face value duh
18 November 2021 : or alternatively at the low cost of "buy me a beer at the show and be nice to me in the pit"
18 November 2021 : i have renewed my vows with mr. pfizer
18 November 2021 : and only asked one (1) man “what the fuck is wrong with you” while waiting to do it
18 November 2021 : unfortunately very boring just a run of the mill middle aged man who was being rude to the one (1) pharmacist dealing with a line of ten thousand people
19 November 2021 : every day i think about how my family and i moved to america on purpose. on purpose
19 November 2021 : time for my favorite game of Cut My Bangs Right Before I Go On A Date To Feel Powerful
20 November 2021 : i am already deleting this tweet but peak bushwick is making out at mood ring and then looking up and seeing this sign about making out at mood ringpic.twitter.com/eGx8rU9CiG
20 November 2021 : i am a walking meet me at trans pecos meme
20 November 2021 : come to janie’s on the upper west side on weekends for the foreseeable future if you want pie crust cookies and a little air kiss from your friend claudia
20 November 2021 : come to janie’s on the upper west side on weekends if you want to see me trying to get away with playing all too well ten minute version on a loop for every shift i work
20 November 2021 : YESSS
21 November 2021 : this tweet is about berklee specifically
21 November 2021 : men go to music college and emerge proficient in the wrong kind of audacity
21 November 2021 : “these fucking boston thirty year old men… these thirty year old men… IN BOSTON” - meg’s apt commentary while i oscillate between light crying and unhinged ranting
21 November 2021 : i have a big everlane puffy coat i was gifted that kept me super warm in boston winter and i think is less expensive than other Quality Coats
21 November 2021 : peak bushwick is me tonight at birdy’s walking past an in-progress date where a guy was coyly touching a girl’s tattoos in the exact same seats where someone was making the same move on me twenty-four hours earlier
21 November 2021 : contrary to my melodramatic tweets last night i am actually having a spectacular weekend: my friends rule, i have unlimited access to pie crust cookies, i’ve read a whole book, i went on a good date that ended in watching bad bunny videos for an hour,
22 November 2021 : these https://janiebakes.com
22 November 2021 : who
22 November 2021 : i am so fucking happy i live in new york now end transmission
22 November 2021 : live from new york it’s me sellin one extra ticket to the friday 11.26 and sunday 11.28 @jeffrosenstock shows in brooklyn new york face value duh
22 November 2021 : yes i posted this the other day yes i got the dates wrong yes it’s taken me three days to recover from the embarrassment and repost
22 November 2021 : alternatively if i even a little bit know you i will let you in on the black friday deal of “buy me a beer and be nice to me in the pit”
24 November 2021 : hello i got to meet @nicfegan in actual person and it only took [check notes] over a decade of knowing each otherpic.twitter.com/L9mHEk4Gd0
25 November 2021 : conversation behind me at the coffee shop is taking place entirely in the “and they were roommates” tone/cadence except the drama is that someone sent one of the girls sufjan stevens lyrics
25 November 2021 : RT @wirecutterunion : Our members would normally be putting in hundreds of hours of overtime during this shopping weekend, which funds their bills, holiday travel, and more. You can also support us by donating to our GoFundMe to offset our lost income during the strike.https://gofund.me/dfeda629
25 November 2021 : the lol was about our music compatibility report!!!
25 November 2021 : tonight i will either live ten lives in one night somewhere in brooklyn or be in bed by nine
25 November 2021 : r.i.p. the starbucks i was constantly convincing my managers at h*rvard book store to let me run to while on the clock as "a morale booster for the team"https://twitter.com/HumanXanax/status/1463484194655453184 …
25 November 2021 : r.i.p. the starbucks i killed time at before my first date in boston which was the first domino in a series of events that ultimately constituted my villain origin story (* relationship so damaging i started my winged eyeliner era)
25 November 2021 : ugh if only; it’s absolutely going to be Another Bank or something
26 November 2021 : i am going to get on the lirr and fight them
26 November 2021 : acab but i am asking every cop in midtown if they know if garfield is in the parade
26 November 2021 : solidarity with the lady behind me in the parade trying to explain to her friends who darren criss is — “he’s BLAINE. from GLEE. you DON’T KNOW BLAINE?”
26 November 2021 : losing my mind because nobody told me BOSS BABY was in this parade and i am watching him slowly approach the block i’m feeling like i’m in the scariest movie imaginable
26 November 2021 : last year i was spending thanksgiving alone eating indian takeout and being scared to breathe in public this year i am spending thanksgiving alone yelling at a fifty foot tall sonic the hedgehog
26 November 2021 : radically outdripped at the times square starbuckspic.twitter.com/GCjRi6R0W3
26 November 2021 : RT @nycDSA : bro the only deal you gotta worry about is one with your striking workers @wirecutterunionhttps://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1463844950806781954 …
26 November 2021 : desperately need someone to sit with me all weekend hold my little hand and just keep whispering "you do not need an instant pot"
26 November 2021 : i know and still i yearn
26 November 2021 : that’s what i’m SAYIN
26 November 2021 : it's mostly storage space/general small-kitchen-problems holding me back! i feel like i'll definitely get one sooner or later
27 November 2021 : hi sorry i missed this! i do if you’re still lookin
27 November 2021 : RT @JustinMcElroy : Love Wirecutter, but won’t be using it, in solidarity with @wirecutterunionhttps://twitter.com/wirecutterunion/status/1463734222812856321 …
27 November 2021 : seven books to go to meet my reading goal for the year everyone say you can do it claudia
27 November 2021 : it is twice what my reading goal was last year, the first year in many that i managed to read more than a small handful of books due to chronic brain-don't-work
27 November 2021 : please tell me this game still exists anywhere in any form i need to spend weeks of my life on it again suddenly
27 November 2021 : i endorse this
27 November 2021 : [wirecutter voice] the best candidate for most peoplehttps://twitter.com/BernieSanders/status/1464299835142590469 …
27 November 2021 : did not miss figuring out cold-outside-sweltering-in-the-pit layering strategy
27 November 2021 : if you see me at the jeff show and i look like i just survived an Ordeal it’s because i did
27 November 2021 : mom can you pick me up the guys in front of me in the jeff line are making “girls aren’t funny” jokes and talking about their discord
27 November 2021 : mtv true life i locked myself out of my apartment (again) and paid a locksmith [redacted] dollars so i could get back in early enough to get to the gig before @Skatunenetwork went on
27 November 2021 : be gay do skapic.twitter.com/i6xajG1qHA
27 November 2021 : date in front of me at the jeff rosenstock show is going so poorly that one of them showed me her phone so i could see that she’d typed out “i’m so sorry about her behavior”
27 November 2021 : say it ain’t so doing bohemian rhapsody numbers at the in between sets house music
28 November 2021 : the jeff rosenstock pit went so hard that my fitbit congratulated me on my workoutpic.twitter.com/O8LH2A1xdS
28 November 2021 : i can personally confirm due to i got kicked in the face by cheekface jersey
28 November 2021 : thank you for this representation
28 November 2021 : somehow communicated needing to leave early today to my weekend boss in such a way that she said “good luck with your meeting!” when the meeting is @er0b and i eating pierogi and seeing jeff rosenstock
29 November 2021 : YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
29 November 2021 : fighting for my life in the coat check line
29 November 2021 : suing bros who don’t want to push women in the pit for discrimination
29 November 2021 : it is misogyny to not elbow me in the face
29 November 2021 : i love music and community and watching my friends play music and watching music alongside my friends and jumping around with hundreds of strangers yelling about stubborn survival through caring for each other
29 November 2021 : also i am sweaty
29 November 2021 : RT @drvarg01 : Hey that's me! Not only do I love hard pants (and no longer being the overly photographed token brown guy on staff) but I think your current workers deserve EXTREMELY OVERDUE cost of living raises! @wirecutterunionhttps://twitter.com/wirecutter/status/1464766771131473923 …
30 November 2021 : got to the bag search part of the line at the gig and had to watch as they pulled out an entire bag of arugula i forgot i had in there
30 November 2021 : not a from-the-supermarket bag of arugula. a ziploc bag manually filled with arugula. which is somehow worse
30 November 2021 : rest in peace my fitbit 2020-2021 helped me get my whole situation together then met a hero’s death in the jeff rosenstock night three pit
30 November 2021 : j a m e s
30 November 2021 : laffin about this video of my phone flying out of my grip, doing a big flip in the air, then landing right back in my hand just in time for the end of the choruspic.twitter.com/GjH0qBltch
30 November 2021 : also i always roll my eyes when my friends razz me about somehow always getting to the front but i spent the first third of this set not even in the room and then i blinked and was at the barricade without trying or wanting to
30 November 2021 : @megathornberry as is your birthright
2 December 2021 : every time i’m in providence i imagine myself giving tours highlighting all my landmarks of personal trauma like “this is the panera where i would go to have panic attacks until i got the nickname Two Soups Morales there after which i was never to return”
2 December 2021 : new york is one big front to terrorize me, specifically, into believing "on line" is a real thing people say
2 December 2021 : i am famously against linguistic prescription (have started arguments at house shows by shouting "the comma is dead") but it makeS NO SENSE. it's like saying you're on the store or on the car or on the audience at a concert and i will not stand for or on it
2 December 2021 : honestly 90% chance i end up at the boston one in addition to the new york ones and maybE a philly showpic.twitter.com/XqE96BkCmo
2 December 2021 : which show u goin to
2 December 2021 : very likely going to boston! considering traveling to one because i feel like there are not many TWY tours left to splurge on after this
2 December 2021 : this is humiliatingpic.twitter.com/cc0akpHFIU
2 December 2021 : my wrapped’s first slide had strange powers as the background music which was my first indication i was about to be forced to confront some things
2 December 2021 : every spotify wrappped is a cry for help
2 December 2021 : pic.twitter.com/5MSL40G5w4
2 December 2021 : are you surepic.twitter.com/Y18S8yl5bz
2 December 2021 : i am still thinking about the last jeff show when after the @beatsbydog set a guy behind me not caught up with their newer stuff asked if they “had closed with that billy joel cover” all three nights it was not a billy joel cover it just had a piano in it
2 December 2021 : nobody needs to know any songs ever i am just obsessed with the concept of any band closing with a billy joel cover
2 December 2021 : damn jenny holzer so truepic.twitter.com/w6nUHRRyqr
2 December 2021 : FUCK i forgot this was happening
2 December 2021 : this is so fucked and i’m so sorry
2 December 2021 : found out how to make perfect brussels sprouts: sear em in a pan, put em in the oven, lock yourself out of your apartment w/o your phone, panic, dig deep in your brain to remember where your roommate's friend lives, get keys, run back, the sprouts are done and they are perfect,
2 December 2021 : unfortunately i know deep in my bones that my regular nickname at this coffee shop involves the fact that i am always here with two (2) phones
2 December 2021 : i will never escape my toxic tendency towards twoshttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/764977200827424768 …
2 December 2021 : every time i’m in providence i imagine myself giving tours highlighting all my landmarks of personal trauma like “this is the panera where i would go to have panic attacks until i got the nickname Two Soups Morales there after which i was never to return”
2 December 2021 : precisely
2 December 2021 : man at this coffee shop keeps complaining about the “cringe levels” being “off the charts” in the bathroom wall graffiti, a medium famously meant to feature only the coolest and least deranged content,
2 December 2021 : i ordered two different soups for my you-pick-two combo and the cashier was just like "two soups? TWO?? SOUPS???"
3 December 2021 : any and all friends enemies and tinder matches if you see me walking around bushwick and i don’t react it’s because my eyes are useless now. or i am avoiding you
3 December 2021 : i am famously bad at favorites but here is a little claudia bouquet https://twitter.com/ahatefulwoman/status/1466123016950140932 …pic.twitter.com/V8GfJ3nA5H
3 December 2021 : i will have to go forward from this year carrying the heavy burden of knowing i peaked at Cheers
4 December 2021 : this is like the flaming lips zaireeka concept but a thousand times better
6 December 2021 : i have been punctuations so many long rants with “they need to unionize” ever since very specific sects of the diesel cafe’s industrial complex leadership turned a pillar of the community into a spirit-breaking machine and eventually used the pandemic to oust hardworking staff https://twitter.com/dbfunited/status/1467900371079208967 …
6 December 2021 : dies*l cafe etc are unionizing which is a move bound to get a good reaction from the owner who threw a fit over multiple people being chosen for prom royalty at a staff party and said it showed we "weren't in it for the right reasons" because we had "too much camaraderie"
6 December 2021 : fond mems of one of the hardest working staffs i've known being constantly disparaged for creating a good work environment, then being callously ousted when the pandemic presented an opportunity but not before being told to take down our online tip jar bc it was bad for the brand
6 December 2021 : webmd search for "cough that feels like it's coming from deep in your soul"
6 December 2021 : cough that feels like a darkness trying to leave my body
8 December 2021 : yes on one hand i have been so sick that i missed out on a bunch of things i wanted to do this week but on the other hand i have now programmed my room so that when i tap a particular spot with my phone the lights turn sunset orange and the speaker starts playing margaritaville
8 December 2021 : girl ordering coffee said she was traveling to miami but wasn't concerned about covid because "south florida is probably so much better because it's so blue" and i'm just here crying internally in daughter-of-a-cuban-reaganite-who-voted-for-trump
8 December 2021 : what a bad boring take lmao
8 December 2021 : !!!!!!!!
8 December 2021 : everyone in brooklyn who has the same everlane coat as me is my cousin
8 December 2021 : whO is coming to the jersey city show with me it is my birthday weekend it is also a screaming females show it is let me repeat my birthday weekend what more could you wanThttps://twitter.com/mannequinpussy/status/1468628178411343874 …
8 December 2021 : i am in my late twenties now which means that i have a sudden, unshakable biological urge to buy rancho gordo beans
9 December 2021 : queens !!!
9 December 2021 : oh wait do you mean only the philly night
9 December 2021 : every day i receive messages
9 December 2021 : googled “coffee shops near me” because i am already juggling dumpster fires at work and now i am on mute in the meeting because i can’t stop laughingpic.twitter.com/Y1w6Kmkkhg
9 December 2021 : hey @nytimes real quick what the fuck is wrong with youhttps://twitter.com/wirecutterunion/status/1468959877493973006 …
9 December 2021 : for the longest time i saved my first wirecutter paycheck in a journal's stash pocket because it came from the new york times and that was the stuff of my insufferable high school newspaper kid dreams and now i'm just embarrassed to have been associated with them at all
9 December 2021 : reading the ethical slut to put my conscience at ease about being a regular at two different coffee shops
9 December 2021 : i mean , as another [redacted] once-employee , yes
9 December 2021 : when you go to cancel your new york times subscription the bot tries to counter with "but you're losing access to all of our articles dating back to 1851" which would maybe be more compelling if their labor practices weren't stuck in that century
9 December 2021 : :(
9 December 2021 : sympathy! nobody is allowed to not be nice to you , not even your body ,
9 December 2021 : i need to slim down my personal software stack but also you can take my ten different productivity apps from my cold dead hands
9 December 2021 : do not mistake this for an indication that i have gotten even one thing done in the last five years
9 December 2021 : in regular use: notion, things 3, bear, reminders + notes (more recent additions because i kind of ignored apple stock apps for a long time), trello, toggl, instapaper (+ readwise linked to a notion database but i'm taking a break from that subscription), ios shortcuts!
9 December 2021 : while on the evergreen topic of unions tony the tiger is dead to me
9 December 2021 : in my head the bully show is still half a year away because "it's in december" and it has come to my attention that it is in fact next week
9 December 2021 : come see bully with me
10 December 2021 : i hate the fuckging internet why did my sister just see this tumblr post i made about her an entire decade ago on someone's instagram story. a decade. ten yearspic.twitter.com/K1dzzou5AC
10 December 2021 : mad at these tweets for making me (1995) do several twitter searches
10 December 2021 : okay but this sounds like it whips
11 December 2021 : just trying to take a normal photo like a normal guy but i guesS my dinner is having a mr. krabs reckoningpic.twitter.com/I2LIbFz3Yc
11 December 2021 : we worked through itpic.twitter.com/IOr6ld3DkU
11 December 2021 : date idea you listen to me talk about software
11 December 2021 : i’m going to start a surveillance operation to figure out which people in my apartment building don’t break boxes down before stuffing them in the recycling bins so i can ask them: who raised u
11 December 2021 : weekend cookie job customer asked “is this taylor swift” about the store music and i said “yeah i have this place on taylor swift lockdown” and maybe the wrong language to use because she looked. Alarmed
12 December 2021 : i have set myself up for a wardrobe malfunction at market hotel
12 December 2021 : guy leaving the market hotel show before ours, noticing the line said “oh shit, is there a party? that’s fucking hilarious. how are they going to clean up? there’s BLOOD EVERYWHERE” so taylor swift night’s gonna be Good
12 December 2021 : the 22 to What’s My Age Again pipeline
12 December 2021 : i’m pissed Offpic.twitter.com/JTwkho7Ni3
12 December 2021 : anyway we looked cute tonightpic.twitter.com/1mU93sy8Kh
12 December 2021 : Sixteen Hours Later Still Heated
13 December 2021 : happy monday to everything except the slow realization that the barista at this coffee shop is someone i vaguely know from the boston music scene
13 December 2021 : i am so haunted ! by boss tone !
13 December 2021 : nicole anyone who gets to hang out with you loves you and has a good time (can personally confirm) and anyone who doesn’t is boring and wrong that’s just science
13 December 2021 : i hope jk rowling knows and dies never forgetting that the community of people who found each other through her book is the same one where so so many people were able to understand themselves as trans and where they were first given space to be themselves
13 December 2021 : when i smile at dogs do they know what it means. don’t reply
14 December 2021 : NICK!!! CONGRATS
14 December 2021 : doing some light subtle respectable cryin in the club* with joy n pride for this exceptional group of people * that is a coffee shop by morninghttps://twitter.com/wirecutterunion/status/1470760931646922752 …
14 December 2021 : thank you for your journalism
14 December 2021 : i was a child the last time i saw the band i’m seeing tonight. an infantpic.twitter.com/1rnO5wfXRC
14 December 2021 : i was also in minneapolis on a business trip as part of my ***** ****** professional list lmao
15 December 2021 : wait i just remembered i was ALSO actively in the middle of moving out of my abusive household — like flew from miami to minneapolis with whatever i could fit in my two allotted southwest checked bags, and then from minneapolis to providence; what a time
15 December 2021 : calling out sick tomorrow to recover from billy springing a cover of fade into you on me at tonight’s show. what the fuck
15 December 2021 : this was a COLLABORATION
15 December 2021 : the bully show was so good last night i'm jealous you get to experience this tour for the first time
15 December 2021 : oh nohttps://twitter.com/enter_ebony/status/1471151210438791168 …
15 December 2021 : RT @23cschwartz : It is essential to our struggle for self-determination that we speak of love. For love is the necessary foundation enabling us to survive the wars, the hardships, the sickness, and the dying with our spirits intact. It is love that allows us to survive whole. —bell hooks
15 December 2021 : RT @senari : bell hooks made us better
15 December 2021 : changing my evening plans to "find some cozy spot in brooklyn and read bell hooks" i'm so sad
16 December 2021 : i had this exact experience lmao
16 December 2021 : steeling myself mentally and physically for another lockdown (i bought one pair of fuzzy socks)
16 December 2021 : got a food service weekend job to turn off the day job part of my brain which is going swimmingly if you don't look at the two-thousand-word business plan, marketing/publicty proposal, and operational overhaul plan i just sent the owner
16 December 2021 : brooklyn men love to ask me if i was “just at” so many bars i have never once set foot in. i get it i have bangs
16 December 2021 : cannot confirm nor deny
16 December 2021 : someone just asked the barista here "what's the name of that zac efron ted bundy movie?" and he said "extremely loud and incredibly close"
16 December 2021 : RT @EvanOutOfTen : https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1471520476103155718 …pic.twitter.com/Dyrx5r5PYO
16 December 2021 : RT @EvanOutOfTen : pic.twitter.com/plCWRkJxhc
17 December 2021 : i'm going back into dating retirementpic.twitter.com/RF7rYePEJS
17 December 2021 : seems like a *lot* of yes in new york, but mild or asymptomatic
17 December 2021 : i know there is no one thing that led to the new york omicron meltdown other than like the government and late capitalism but if there is an opportunity to blame anything on miami i will blame it on miami
17 December 2021 : another great year for my life's mission of never setting foot in miami again
17 December 2021 : you're not tipping the service workers whose jobs you couldn't do without having a cute lil breakdown enough ever and especially not now
17 December 2021 : if you're in a position of financial comfort and did your nice little "thank u essential workers" posts for a couple of months but then silently reverted to 20% like it's not a tremendous, exploitative luxury to eat out or get food delivered during a pandemic this is for u
17 December 2021 : real gross how easy it is for people to forget or just pretend to stop caring about the fact that the people making their cocktails or dropping off their comfort meal are risking their lives and their loved ones' health for abysmal pay the moment it's not earning them points
17 December 2021 : i meant "stop pretending to care" lmao anyway this is the first year i've been middle class in my whole fuckin life and suddenly the things people say where i can hear them now that i'm not working two full time server jobs to scrape by etc are! bad
17 December 2021 : just bc you've never had to wait a table or ride a dangerous vehicle you can't afford to maintain through inclement weather or otherwise had yr grocery budget depend on how woke the people exploiting yr labor are feeling at close-out doesn't mean the people around you haven't :-)
17 December 2021 : this is ,,, exactly what i've been looking for thank you
17 December 2021 : RT @rosadona : my end of year thread? i lived bitch
17 December 2021 : what is it about covid spikes that makes everyone horny for exposing themselves as condescending classist silver spoon babies
17 December 2021 : “ew this person who doesn’t have the option not to work might be sick on the job while i wait for hours in a testing line” have you considered spending five seconds conferring with your one braincell
17 December 2021 : what if we kissed in the failed state
17 December 2021 : i got hotter during the pandemic and that is my burden to bear
17 December 2021 : didn't we spend the last two years trying to drill it into everyone's heads that "drop everything and stay home" is… https://t.co/CtDOS1EPmz
17 December 2021 : is she,,, you know, [jingles keys on carabiner]
17 December 2021 : if i am going to wr*te again do i put things in a newsletter or in a blog
17 December 2021 : no i still haven't remembered how to put a sentence together yes this is a real question
17 December 2021 : not to be this way but please nobody breathe on or near david byrne
17 December 2021 : this year i had a big realization abt how my own self-deprecation and distancing myself from my merits makes people think they can talk down to me but the pendulum swung too far in the other direction and now i am always one annoyance away from telling people "i know more than u"
17 December 2021 : hey guess whaT here are words i wrote and have put out in the world world for you (specifically) to read for the first time in five fuckin yearshttp://claudiamoreorless.com/blog/2021/12/17/letting-the-days-go-by-or-things-i-wrote-when-i-wasnt-writing …
17 December 2021 : okay it's less "something i wrote" and more "many different small scraps from 2020 collected here to hold space while i cure my case of brain don't work" but i have decided to stop waiting for my brain to work. anyway
17 December 2021 : thank you i love you sO much
17 December 2021 : productivehome office individualpic.twitter.com/Xdu4p9QjjD
17 December 2021 : fuck
18 December 2021 : thought i was a comfortable thirty minutes late to the gig only to find i was forty-five minutes earlyhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/685647415240691714 …
18 December 2021 : hope the door guy who told me when the opening band goes on is amused when i come back with time to kill wearing a totally different outfit
18 December 2021 : if i’m not supposed to go out today why did god make it sheer tights weather ?
18 December 2021 : thanks
18 December 2021 : if someone tells you they’re “impressed” by your “initiative” does that mean they “think” you’re “insane”
18 December 2021 : everyone i know who lives in bed-stuy runs into him on the reg so i’ll make sure they tell him he looks “just like twitter user dimwizzy, fka spoonboy”
18 December 2021 : yeah i don’t see it at all but now i am committed to the narrative
18 December 2021 : going to see how many covers of last christmas i can play in a row before my weekend job coworkers notice
18 December 2021 : my services include “i call lunch orders in for my coworkers with phone anxiety so then they can’t get mad at me for playing 68 covers of last christmas in a row”
18 December 2021 : was feeling fomo-y about not going to the counter intuitive records showcase in boston but then i remembered meg’s wise words:https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1462295129843191810 …
18 December 2021 : RT @TyParNoTyping : I've done both and can say, without equivocation, that service workers have to work harder and have a more diverse skillset per dollar earned and it isn't CLOSE.
18 December 2021 : i still haven’t made a dedicated playlist for my weekend job and instead i just play the one i made for the friendly toast so i can reminisce about my manager south shore kevin giving me a Talking To for saying i wanted to throw myself in the charles
18 December 2021 : when we asked if we could put on some sza south shore kevin said “i don’t even know who scissor is”
19 December 2021 : thinking about when i walked past the sinclair's load-in/load-out hallway and said "that hallway is haunted" because an ex had been mean to me in it once and the former paramedic friend i was with said "i delivered a baby in there once"
19 December 2021 : thinking about the last time i was at the sinclair when i kept telling people "i want to get so drunk i forget men with biblical names exist"
19 December 2021 : hello only to the guy who came in to cookie job, noticed his mom was nose-out, went “mom pull your fucking mask up” and then made her tip me extra
19 December 2021 : crimson AND clover? in this economy ?
19 December 2021 : business in the front party in the back (i am playing taylor swift at the counter and the kitchen is playing kesha)
19 December 2021 : every day i think about how my family and i moved to america on purpose. on purpose
19 December 2021 : i love that los campesinos song we are beautiful we are doomscrolling
19 December 2021 : i am doomscrolling. and beautiful
20 December 2021 : have decided to reverse my position as a “baby it’s cold outside” apologist and join the vocal opposition based entirely on the middle-aged man who started yelling “YES!!! THEY’RE PLAYING IT!!! YES!!! SCREW THE P.C. POLICE!!!” in the bread aisle when it came on at stop and shop
20 December 2021 : accidentally left the cookie store ipad set to my closing music hope the owner likes gulch
20 December 2021 : as cases rise charlie himself (the guy from the card, not the republican) will go car to car vocally discouraging mask use
20 December 2021 : if you, like me, are having kind of a hell time during an already historically tuff season here is a good thing: every year my friend paul makes these immaculately curated xmas mixes (bangers only) and they bring me real big joy december after december http://pauldegeorge.com/index.php/xmas-mixes/ …
20 December 2021 : etsy i am begging you to stop advertising the "rbg collar septum ring" to me
20 December 2021 : merry christmas i kind of miss bostonhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1077242525969276929 …
20 December 2021 : people who say the jab and people who got or at one point considered a tardis tattoo venn diagram is a circle
20 December 2021 : RT @glennislaroe : shower at a guy’s place and he’ll give you his most clean-ish towel
20 December 2021 : nowhere near by yo la tengo + spirit desire by tiger's jaw + i'll believe in anything by wolf parade + you can have it all by yo la tengo + give it up by angel olsen + fraise by twin princess + what's it take by snarls ,,, i could go on
20 December 2021 : why did james brown make a song called Santa Claus is Definitely Here to Stay. sounds like something someone who just killed santa would say
20 December 2021 : i believe in intergenerational trauma at the genetic level because at some point every december i lose my entire brain to an endless loop of Mi Burrito Sabanero
20 December 2021 : blocked and reported
21 December 2021 : i still can't believe george michael died on actual christmas
21 December 2021 : was informed tonight that there's some internet thing where you avoid hearing last christmas all month. why would you do that
21 December 2021 : i'm sorry i called sufjan stevens the michael buble of alternative christmas music
21 December 2021 : hey guess whaT here are words i wrote and have put out in the world world for you (specifically) to read for the first time in five fuckin yearshttp://claudiamoreorless.com/blog/2021/12/17/letting-the-days-go-by-or-things-i-wrote-when-i-wasnt-writing …
21 December 2021 : every new job and suitor is just a game of "how long until people find out about my ***** ****** professional past" and i always lose
21 December 2021 : i am entering my iced americano era
21 December 2021 : this month’s ap stylebook newsletter is just a style refresher on “santa claus” and then a bunch of covid guidelines updated for omicron it sure is december 2021
21 December 2021 : f
21 December 2021 : tested negative for the novel coronavirus at the company party zoom call
21 December 2021 : thinking about how in a boston past life i had to listen to an ex regularly calling new york "a monument to man's arrogance" and only a year later at a netflix and chill realized he stole that from peggy hill
21 December 2021 : all of the worst men i have ever known hate new york and get all their jokes from women funnier than them. anyway i live in new york now
21 December 2021 : when i was goal-setting for 2021 i set my big stretch goal to making an amount of money i didn't think i'd actually make because the number was funny to me and i knew it'd give me a laugh at the end of the year anyway that number is my salary now
22 December 2021 : lmao this is exactly the bit but on a mucH smaller scale
22 December 2021 : CUTE
22 December 2021 : why is it impossible for your brain to let go of wanting things it has already recognized as not good for you and not good enough for you. haha
22 December 2021 : moved to nu york / got my first ever salaried job after a lifetime under the poverty line or precariously and temporarily just above it / brought a sword to cheers the barhttps://twitter.com/adamjk/status/1473491843895545859 …
22 December 2021 : i don't want ""dainty"" jewelry i want jewelry that could double as a weapon
22 December 2021 : i've been revisiting my bullet journal nonsense from early this january and i fully mentioned new york an entire season before i knew i was going to move to new york pic.twitter.com/erX8ThECQN
22 December 2021 : fellow bisexuals what is your preferred internet septum ring (clickers preferably) (not $$$) providers
22 December 2021 : do you need or want a seven-hour alternative xmas playlist? too bad i made one anywayhttps://open.spotify.com/playlist/4I4PyPpTYYnjTVXSkPnHvG?si=fe3bf4ffdd024ffb …
22 December 2021 : non-trad christmas music is only good if it's sincere, either in its unhinged joy or in its total dejection, which makes it fantastic claudia bait
22 December 2021 : holy shit i didn't know about them and i love their stuff already thank u
22 December 2021 : thank u for leading the "convince claudia to just fuckin do it" committee
22 December 2021 : hey real quick why did none of my fake-ass friends ever tell me earth wind and fire made a christmas version of september called december
22 December 2021 : BATTZ
22 December 2021 : 'what child is this' is absolutely the funniest christmas carol by a mile. wish i had been the one to see jesus and go "who the fuck is this kid"
22 December 2021 : omw
22 December 2021 : this is one part "xmas is both one of my favorite times of year and one of the toughest so i am forcing joy to prevail in me" two parts "needed store music for weekend job" anyway there is one (1) gold standard in xmas mixes and this year's just dropped: http://pauldegeorge.com/xmas-mixes
22 December 2021 : this is perfect thank u
22 December 2021 : while carving stuff into my arm my tattoo artist kept calling the pandemic “these shenanigans” in his thick russian accent
22 December 2021 : RT @joshgondelman : Read a book for an hour instead of scrolling aimlessly. Enjoyed myself very much. Will not learn from this.
23 December 2021 : i wish instagram would let you rename your close friends list like what if i wouldn’t take a bullet for you but i do want you to see my thirst traps
23 December 2021 : i don’t post thirst traps but i should have the option. it is my constitutional right
23 December 2021 : truly impossible but i return to strange powers the most with i don’t want to get over you and i think i need a new heart not far behind; those three cover basically everything you need in the realm of heart/break.
23 December 2021 : put a twelve-ounce iced latte option in every single coffee shop. abolish the sixteen-ounce small. or else
23 December 2021 : dunx is exempt from this and also all other laws
23 December 2021 : RT @oureric : pic.twitter.com/5Hrytb83Kt
23 December 2021 : this was also how i found out lmao
23 December 2021 : RT @lindsayzoladz : “Oh, wow.” -Joan Didion
23 December 2021 : big day. discovered the pockets in my coat are book-sized
23 December 2021 : my favorite genre, post-nasal,
23 December 2021 : the rumors are true: i new york
23 December 2021 : also exactly the size of one bag of trader joe’s brussels sprouts. i made use of this so i could read in the long long line and i heard some muttered comments about it. if i had never seen a brussels sprouts pocket i would keep it to myself
24 December 2021 : libation sounds so sinister. like it's just a liquid but it sounds like something you get arrested for. lewd and libacious behavior
24 December 2021 : do i know anyone who publishes under a name different than their legal one and can i dm u
25 December 2021 : nu york milestone crying in penn station on xmas eve
25 December 2021 : good cry not bad
25 December 2021 : i have been defeated by new jersey transit
25 December 2021 : wromg town
25 December 2021 : i lived bitchpic.twitter.com/00xhEDZG9G
25 December 2021 : HAPPY BIRTHDAY
25 December 2021 : worrying everyone at xmas by announcing that my septum ring is stuck in my nose
25 December 2021 : RT @JustinMcElroy : Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.pic.twitter.com/9HHUU4vysn
25 December 2021 : if i elect to be around you without my eyeliner on it is like when cats close their eyes at you
26 December 2021 : having a 2am crisis realizing my septum piercing closed up in just a few days with a ring still technically in my nose. thanks santa
26 December 2021 : thinking about what kind of omen it might be that on xmas eve after work my water bottle exploded in my backpack on the l train and ruined my copy of lunch poems
26 December 2021 : is the ghost of frank o’hara telling me to stop doing my new york yearning or to yearn harder
26 December 2021 : if you super like me on tinder you get put on a watchlist
26 December 2021 : always
27 December 2021 : back in nu york, stretching open the septum piercing that shrank in just days after years of being a hole in my body, feeling resentful abt the body’s beautiful persistence in healing,
27 December 2021 : jk i think the healing rules i am just in a lot of pain. it's not a metaphor
27 December 2021 : dangerously close to talking myself into seeing david byrne Again
27 December 2021 : having a bad day so i bought myself a nice yellow notebook (medicinal)
27 December 2021 : am i having a bad day impart because my dumbfuck idea to “stretch my septum piercing back open by myself” has resulted in Pain? perhaps !
27 December 2021 : the affection i harbor for When I Write my Master’s Thesis by john k. samson is maybe too big considering i dropped out of community college
28 December 2021 : same goes for Postdoc Blues but like you can't put the line "i believe in you and your powerpoints" in a song and not expect me to fall all the way in luv with it
28 December 2021 : am i in union square new york or am i in downtown crossing boston. trick question. they are the same place
28 December 2021 : i extremely want to hear about people's goalz at all times but especially around the new year friends and mutuals please txt or dm me your ambitions and aspirations in this time of rampant sight-setting
28 December 2021 : i do noT want to hear from the "new year's resolutions are pointless it's just a date time means nothing" crowd please go set your AIM status to "labels r for soup cans" or whatever else it is you do for fun
28 December 2021 : okay but how many sharp knives do WE have in OUR house
28 December 2021 : same
28 December 2021 : goats show / house worming / meg’s room https://twitter.com/lollyfitz13/status/1475222963100303372 …pic.twitter.com/RxHVQDhKZW
28 December 2021 : i love to imbue my life with a little bit of danger. a little bit of spice (i am two books away from my 2021 reading goal with three days to go)
29 December 2021 : RT @jherrerx : CDC says ponte Vicks y ya
29 December 2021 : it worked for me
29 December 2021 : reading my drafts from the week before i moved out of boston and first of all lmaopic.twitter.com/Z0Fj3GPCq5
29 December 2021 : bitch me toohttps://twitter.com/inputmag/status/1476085590391238664 …
29 December 2021 : lord forgive me i'm buying domains again
29 December 2021 : honestly fine that i had to talk to my father today because he gave me the gift of, when i asked “oh does drew carey still host that” as he yelled at the tv during price is right, responding “sí, sí, john kerry”
29 December 2021 : the amount of times i've gotten not-covid sick in the last two months is just mean
29 December 2021 : was about to see davie burn's american zootopia for a third time tonight but i have yet another Ailment
29 December 2021 : in light of slight inconvenience today i am getting myself indian food, i am ordering a bunch of books, i am sipping my little iced americano, i am going to have a goal-setting date with a bestie, i'm going to make a zine, i'm going to finish reading my fiftieth book of the year,
29 December 2021 : good tweet actually
29 December 2021 : men with four-letter names are on thin ice
29 December 2021 : every day you make me read words
29 December 2021 : if i still don't know how to drive by the time i'm thirty i think i should get some sort of prize
29 December 2021 : i don't know what "the ace ventura one" is and i am not going to find out
29 December 2021 : you are on a short list of people i have described as "maybe the only good man" you an sit this one out
29 December 2021 : i am very resilient and not even a little bit dramatic also this mild sore throat is ruining my life
30 December 2021 : honestly it’s solved Many of mine
30 December 2021 : will i ever sleep again
30 December 2021 : date idea i explain in great length the distinct purpose of each of my barely-filled notebooks
30 December 2021 : this year i saw the mountain goats seven times and i got seven tattoos that is my year end list
30 December 2021 : the social network reboot where nothing changes except instead of andrew garfield and jesse eisenberg it's bert and ernie
30 December 2021 : a fear i know well !
30 December 2021 : reading too much into the fact of my annotation style changing suddenly
30 December 2021 : if you do a little melodramatic whimper after every coughing fit it makes you feel better it’s just science
30 December 2021 : i’m mildly sick and it’s everyone’s problem !!!!! !!
30 December 2021 : i am an adult with a savings account and lights that dim and despite that and the fact that i am estranged from my family of origin there are few things that can completely and devastatingly humble me like my mom hitting me with "ajá si como no"
30 December 2021 : humiliatin g that i have clawed my way through countless things too bummer to mention in polite company and am still completely destroyed to the point of insufferable whining by [checks notes] a sore throat
30 December 2021 : the cdc* says you have to bring me some tea with honey in it and say nice things about me * claudia desperatefor care
30 December 2021 : peyton i am home alone and maybe slightly feverish and i have spent All day in and out of giggle fits just picturing the fuck-you-flip-flops scene with this casting
30 December 2021 : after seeing this tweet ali texted me to try to tell me about gopuff when i am in fact mere feet from several tea options i just need attention (medicinal) and pity (medicinal)
31 December 2021 : good job pauli!!!
31 December 2021 : okay it’s been six months i lived bitchhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1409863611951071234 …
31 December 2021 :
31 December 2021 : do i break my <1 year no delivery app streak to get dunx delivered to my illness cave
31 December 2021 : junior year i got banned from all universal properties for shoplifting a pin from actual h*gwarts which is especially funny if you consider i would go on to be a traveling hp professional for several years
31 December 2021 : oh it was only a year i have made several triumphant returns involving such activities as “taking hearty advantage of the hp conference private night bottomless free butterbeer and then riding the dragons so many times i almost yakked”
31 December 2021 : don't forget that if you had a crush on me this year you have to report it to the irs. and me
31 December 2021 : i don't know where i thought boston common sprinkler water came from but i definitely didn't realize it was from the charles until after this and i spent part of my home-stretch packing delirium convinced i was just teeming with boston dirty water parasites
31 December 2021 : i went many years barely reading bc of my brain and life, which felt truly debilitating and devastating considering books have been so central to me since i learned english, but as of yesterday i hit my scary goal of fifty books this year; these were my favorite reads/re-reads:pic.twitter.com/unzKnTcGNK
31 December 2021 : the bad news is that this year i shed the last flaky bits of skin from the version of me ruled by misplaced shame and self-loathing so if you thought i was insufferable before just you wait
31 December 2021 : does anyone know if i took my meds this morning
31 December 2021 : thinking back to prophetic 2021 moments such as when at the """covid is over""" central park concert they cut barry manilow's mic but he didn't know so he kept singing and his mouth was moving but the sound was bill deblasio's disembodied voice telling us we had to evacuate
31 December 2021 : okay i actually feel a lot better thanks to the remedy of "having my first meal of the day"
31 December 2021 : just went into the worst coughing fit of my life memory because i followed science’s advice and did a throat swab for my latest test which is not the kind of throat action i thought i’d be getting this new year’s eve !!!!!! anyway i have covid
31 December 2021 : just went into the worst coughing fit of my life because i followed science’s advice and did a throat swab for my latest test which is not the kind of throat action i thought i’d be getting this new year’s eve !!!!!! anyway i have covid
31 December 2021 : it’s fine it’s been truly mild and already fading after two days !
31 December 2021 : due to having covid i am going to instacart three bags of potatoes (medicinal) to myself
31 December 2021 : RT @LaurenBans : My new year’s resolution is to be kinder to myself and stop being such a lazy piece of shit.
31 December 2021 : in case anyone is curious my symptoms have been: scratchy throat three nights ago, two days of sore throat + coughing + mild fatigue, vague stomach weirdness (i.e. yesterday i craved only extremely bland foods); that’s it! swab your throat!https://slate.com/technology/2021/12/throat-swab-rapid-testing-omicron-effective.html …
31 December 2021 : damn no pandemic unemployment in hyrule either huhpic.twitter.com/TpRdmtkkbB
1 January 2022 : i'm very glad i was suspicious enough of the tickle in my throat earlier this week to cancel my american utopia plans that night and not go down in history as the person who gave david byrne covid
1 January 2022 : anyway american utopia tickets are very easy to come by, lottery or otherwise, and i want to see it at least one more time before this run ends so if you too want to see the best possible successor to Stop Making Sense hit me up. or else
1 January 2022 : the DREAM if we can make this happen after this no good wave
1 January 2022 : i do not wish misfortune on ur fam but ,,,
1 January 2022 : does anyone want to give me (covid positive) their hbo login so i can watch station eleven
1 January 2022 : i had two nasal negatives on days with more intense symptoms and then an instant, bold positive today when i added a throat swab !
1 January 2022 : if you're setting a reading goal for the new year what is it
1 January 2022 : i did fifty this year and i think i'm going to do twenty-seven next year due to i am turning twenty-seven
1 January 2022 : yeah! fifty was a good goal for me this year, esp. in the context of emerging from a looong stretch of not being able to read consistently, but i want to spend more time with texts this year and will def be reading some more textbook-y deals, too.
1 January 2022 : YEAH i had mooonths of not reading after my move and still hit the goal; also let's go to a bookstore together at some point!
1 January 2022 : literary power roommates
1 January 2022 : YES
1 January 2022 : two featured artists in the gallery of MY HEART
1 January 2022 : me to my sister: i have covid don't tell mom my mom one hour later: ¿ESTAS VIVA? HELLO???
1 January 2022 : having confirmed i'm alive my mom has pivoted to "do they have fireworks in nueva yor"
1 January 2022 : i am a failure to my race (don't have any grapes for tonight)
1 January 2022 : googling "can you do a shot if you had covid" as midnight draws near
1 January 2022 : been reading these since i was very young and still in one such home and though they hit on so many different levels there is a very specific joy in the way these threads give me a moment to feel close to that kid and know things get so good for her. thank you. happy new year.
1 January 2022 : as soon as i finished reading the thread i put this above where we wash the potatoespic.twitter.com/7qJRx6AHFa
1 January 2022 : this has been the best year of my fuckin life (so far) despite everything and it is only appropriate that i end it with a little covid to humble me
1 January 2022 : good FUCKIN riddance
1 January 2022 : this becomes more clear to me as being a choking hazard every year but: when the countdown starts we eat one grape for every month of the coming year and make a wish on that grape
1 January 2022 : sorry to the other people from our apartment building we’re on mountain goats this year and taylor swift 22 lockdown this rooftop
1 January 2022 : okay everybody go to bed now
1 January 2022 : by everybody i mean the party happening in the backyard below me. i am going to cough out the window
1 January 2022 : my roommate and i went up to the rooftop to ring in 2022 and as a covid haver i took off my mask twice once to take this photo and once to do a new year’s shotpic.twitter.com/osBNLdSF3l
1 January 2022 : I LOVE YOU thank u for throwin the hottest new year's party in brooklyn with me
1 January 2022 : i think between midnight and three a.m. on new year's you (i) should be forgiven for texts you send people (disappointments) saying you're "glad" you got to "hang out" "this year"
1 January 2022 : distant squeaking,
1 January 2022 : """hang out"""
1 January 2022 : the group on the rooftop attached to ours left when i started playing pitbull
1 January 2022 : RT @rilokiley_bot : Get loved, make more, try to stay alive.
1 January 2022 : you and me botH
1 January 2022 : one year ago today i was reading station eleven worried about getting covid today i am watching station eleven and i have covid through manifestation all things are possible
1 January 2022 : got to the part of covid where my heart starts beating really fast from such strenuous activity as "standing up"
1 January 2022 : good news. i have decided that tomorrow is also new year's day because i've been too sick and tired to do any of the planning/journaling/reading things i wanted to do
1 January 2022 : latest symptom is a very specific craving for chef boyardee ravioli
2 January 2022 : thank u
2 January 2022 : on the other hand mine is Bad and Boujee so we're gonna be okay actually
2 January 2022 : hell yeah
2 January 2022 : does anyone remember if station eleven also mentioned tubthumping in the book. this is important to me
2 January 2022 : i don’t remember this lyric but it’s nice they got more positive after million dollars to kill mepic.twitter.com/1GZe9kDdoB
2 January 2022 : this is a certified dumb tweet but you have to be nice to me because i can’t sit up for that long without my covid head saying “enough of that”
2 January 2022 : when will i be free of this spiky virus
3 January 2022 : the whaT
3 January 2022 : good omen to start the first work day of the year with an out sick email subject line "Happy New Year! I have COVID."
3 January 2022 : once i am free of this i will be invincible. i will lick every floor
3 January 2022 : adam
4 January 2022 : also got it in six
4 January 2022 : for me it has been: both
4 January 2022 : not many good things i can say about my ailment but it has done me the courtesy of lasting just long enough for me to start and finish watching insecure
4 January 2022 : where do i pitch
5 January 2022 : i think my best moment of covid was definitely when i ripped most of my toenail off. if i have or may one day have a crush on you don't read this
5 January 2022 : this wordle lucky guess is a good omen for the day right:
5 January 2022 : this apartment is anti-democracy
5 January 2022 : good news now that i am unsick i have immediately plummeted into my annual month-before-my-birthday extended crisis
5 January 2022 : i love the passing of time? okay sure david byrne. could not be me
5 January 2022 : going on 27, so drawing ever-nearer
6 January 2022 : will simply never tire of opening a money diary article enthralled to find out how someone survives in a big city on the salary in the headline thinkin maybe i'll pick up a couple personal finance tips and then it's just "parents" every other sentence
6 January 2022 : if your parents have ever payed any of your bills you have to send me five dollars yes this includes college
7 January 2022 : or when you need to use face id
7 January 2022 : sorry to be pitchfork on main but one of my very favorite personal traditions is my annual front-to-back listen of funeral, which happens when the first snowstorm of the season arrives
7 January 2022 : i didn't experience snow until i was twenty but i had loved the album long before that and the first time i saw snow falling the impulse to listen to it was so immediate and obvious and six winters later neither thing has lost its magic. still don't know how to layer though
7 January 2022 : dust jackets are my enemy
7 January 2022 : a lot of people i owe correspondence to but if you are among them i assure you there are only like five people who actually hear from me ever and mostly it is absolute clownery
7 January 2022 : i have spent hours and hours of my life fiddling with ios shortcuts and many of them are well-crafted and truly useful but not one is better than how i set it up so this happens whenever my battery dips below 70 or charges above 68pic.twitter.com/FpRKUaWllO
14 January 2022 : breaking offline edge to share poetrypic.twitter.com/sLbedEVbjh
18 January 2022 : how do the person i've known since we were both snot-nosed CHILDREN in MIAMI and the person i met at a MOUNTAIN GOATS AUDIENCE RESIDENCY in NEW YORK know each other i am losing my mind
18 January 2022 : breaking offline edge to report: today at the coffee shop i went to for my little recreational spreadsheet activities the group next to me were people from two giant rival companies helping each other unionize while making digs at the others' brands i have never known greater joy
18 January 2022 : labor rights petty rivalry small iced oat latte extra shot that's the claudia formula baby
24 January 2022 : as of today i am no longer working seven (7) days a week so i will now allow time for exactly one affront to god every five days
24 January 2022 : does anyone want a ticket to the sold out john darnielle book release function in downtown brooklyn tonight if so please dm me to benefit from my roommate’s misfortune
24 January 2022 : i will still be there sand it’s at a church so this is your chance to hang out with me in the purifying light of god
24 January 2022 : okay good news i actually have two tickets available for the mountain goats lead guy book release because it turns out the misfortune was in fact viral and not just food poisoning so i will be staying home revisiting my favorite twitter @vomitwords
24 January 2022 : RT @vomitwords : Liquidate Your Assets
24 January 2022 : RT @vomitwords : Up the Chunks
25 January 2022 : after many years i have come out of puking retirement
25 January 2022 : i can't believe i did covid had like two okay weeks and then this
25 January 2022 : why would you make me, your friend , read this
27 January 2022 : cold bean juice erasure
27 January 2022 : all week i have been restricted to 1) my bed 2) a cracker-only diet so as you can imagine the crumb situation is dire
28 January 2022 : my body missed being sick and decided to get a stomach flu (i'm fine now but my decade+ no puke streak... dismantled)
29 January 2022 : snowstorm decadence instinct has me disturbingly close to """investing""" in """a front-row seat at american utopia on my birthday next week""" even though it """costs money"""
30 January 2022 : all of my tattoos have some backstory or Meaning except for my biker skull. he's just a guy
30 January 2022 : this isn't true but i wanted to say it
31 January 2022 : i've been tiptoeing back into early twenties journals i used to think i'd never look at again and i regularly get straight-up misty eyed at how grateful i am for myself, then and now, how proud, which would have been unimaginable to me so so recently. haha
31 January 2022 : if you see me at a coffee shop please do not look at my two laptops and two phones please let me live my little four device life free from observation
31 January 2022 : to clarifY i do not sit at coffee shops with two side by side laptops due to i'm not a fucking monster. i simply close and put away my personal space gray macbook air (2020) then immediately pull out my professional space gray macbook air (2020) in an endless cycle
31 January 2022 : please hold for a text message communication
31 January 2022 : ugh
31 January 2022 : interesting how they don't have enough money to pay their employees a living wage but they do have enough to throw at monopolizing word games
31 January 2022 : damn sounds familiar somehow
1 February 2022 : witnessed a breakup outside the auntie anne’s
1 February 2022 : stomping southbound through times square having arrived at the box office five five minutes too late to purchase a front row ticket to the david byrne jamboree boots full of sludge grease dripping down my chin from the slice i’m eating walking two miles to buy a single 0.38mm pen
1 February 2022 : i’m having the time of my life this isn’t sarcasm i am feeling tom cruise couch about life but not in a scientology fraud scheme way
1 February 2022 : okay but i want adam content
1 February 2022 : do i “ know “ anyone going to the jersey city screaming females mannequin pussy show it sold out before i could rope any friends into crossing state lines for the pit
1 February 2022 : i have managed to miss every mannequin pussy show near me for years despite great effort but not this time baby
1 February 2022 : moving from boston to my solved at least six of my problems so
1 February 2022 : RT @lukekarrys : oh nopic.twitter.com/TNzP04QzOd
1 February 2022 : deleting dating apps because i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (finding myself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and asking myself well how did i get here)
1 February 2022 : okay i guess i needed something to humble me today and some ancestral spirit swept through my apartment and turned my brain off, which is to say: i undersalted my rice
1 February 2022 : cool thing about taking great care when you make playlists for others is that when you miss someone you can just listen to the playlist you made them
1 February 2022 : five minute ltd time self-e drop while i refuse to do taskspic.twitter.com/TDT2eDFP26
1 February 2022 : yes! absolute all-timers, in a several-way tie for band of my heart
2 February 2022 : registering for the hyper-specific software conference wearing my clown suitpic.twitter.com/GCjTI9oPOX
2 February 2022 : many clown activities on the horizon
2 February 2022 : truly fucked that the pandemic's extended run has robbed me of seeing passing through a screen door live while being 26 at my otherwise-annual twy show
2 February 2022 : a week away from 27 but at what cost
2 February 2022 : i'm going to die heated that i missed the breed cover at the aug trans-pecos show because i was on an extremely bad date and couldn't escape the conversation in time to go back inside
2 February 2022 : being normal today. also i cried about a candle
3 February 2022 : can someone who is good at audio photoshop wipe chris frantz's interjections off the face of the earth
3 February 2022 : bloqueado
3 February 2022 : pissed off about who i have allowed to watch stop making sense (1984) with me
3 February 2022 : if you are in new york and free this saturday night and you like american new wave band talking heads , and free things , dm me ,
3 February 2022 : i am not doing a bit
3 February 2022 : three tabs open for “how do i get this septum ring out of my nose”
3 February 2022 : are you going to their show !
3 February 2022 : sorry to davie burns for the fact that every time i have to justify seeing AU again i say it loud to some “i mean what if he dies soon”
3 February 2022 : exactly i know i’m lying to myself and my little bank account every time (guess who’s now seeing it both on her birthday and five days before it) (one of those is for free)
3 February 2022 : organizing my computer and i found a folder called "career" containing only this photo of david byrne eating cerealpic.twitter.com/uzd2oADDCj
3 February 2022 : in the next week i am seeing my favorite song in the ding dang world performed live twice, i have my annual performance review at my first ever salaried job and it’s going to be glowing, i am turning an age i never thought i’d be, i am eating a cookie with cheese in it,
3 February 2022 : next time you and mg are in town you/we gotta go to Janie’s Pie Crust Cookies it’s exactly what it sounds like and this one is apple with cheddar in the pie crust
3 February 2022 : from Janie’s, the spot i brought cookies to Birdy’s from! it’s a new apple pie cookie with cheddar baked into the crust; i don’t work in-store anymore or i’d have eaten ten of these today already
3 February 2022 : laughing actual laughter about you and @thenickguy asking about this basically simultaneously (see thread for the lore)
3 February 2022 : i’ve been thinking about this a lot, along with reminding myself to reframe “i have to” as “i get to” when it comes to the trudgy parts of process
3 February 2022 : the rumors are true: i am a pleasure to have in class
3 February 2022 : i have through great effort gotten so much better in the brain department over the last few years but my birthday still awakens the part of me pathologically averse to inconveniencing people and by inconveniencing i mean saying "hey do you wanna hang out"
4 February 2022 : once a week i let myself get caramel swirl in my dunkin donuts iced coffee and i call it sweet sunday. thank you for listening
4 February 2022 : even when you know it's going to be good an annual performance review meeting still feels like being called to the principal's office
4 February 2022 : fortitude valley (many martha members!), bad moves, young trynas probably music ep
4 February 2022 : i went to bed seething last night and it’s the best sleep i’ve gotten all week have scientists looked into this
4 February 2022 : on this bandcamp friday buy nudeshttps://sweetpablo.bandcamp.com/album/nudes-2
4 February 2022 : on this bandcamp friday buy dim wizardhttps://dimwizard.bandcamp.com/album/whole-lotta-nothin-feat-erica-freas-patrick-jennings …
4 February 2022 : buy this onehttps://youngtrynas.bandcamp.com/album/probably-music …
4 February 2022 : after a long grueling hiatus spanning the dawn of my post-massachusetts life i have finally found a dunx near me that i like which means: sweet sundays are back, babyhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1274506988119089152 …
4 February 2022 : i have retired from patience. i am in patience retirement
4 February 2022 : nervous for a performance review i have already seen the glowing written version of, avoiding spoilers for a broadway show i have already seen twice,
4 February 2022 : listen in my heart it does
4 February 2022 : okay the review meeting ended up being even more gratifying and affirming than the written version and i didn't even barf ,,, david byrne you have 29 hours to figure out how to wow me
4 February 2022 : AND when i got off the call i had a notification that this uk naïve melody seven inch i’ve been coveting for actual years had arrived , everything’s coming up claudia ,pic.twitter.com/KcA2acDxRZ
4 February 2022 : just absolutely stomping around
4 February 2022 : i am going to start a fight at the bushwick town hall (omg pizza)
4 February 2022 : check the private but first know i am in fact ashamed of myself
5 February 2022 : nicole , you have just derailed my entire night
5 February 2022 : what are things i should do in nu york during my week of birthday pto
5 February 2022 : coworkers asked me if i'm "going anywhere" and i'm "going" to not be at work
5 February 2022 : meys you are on thin ice
5 February 2022 : no
5 February 2022 : ONE DAY
5 February 2022 : reminded today of this all-timerpic.twitter.com/IrpwRMQQuf
5 February 2022 : i am 1000% down i miss you and want to know the Great North
5 February 2022 : honestly i should have known this day was going to dissolve into despair when the barista at the coffee shop where i was the sole patron played not one but two angel olsen albums front to back
5 February 2022 : he cursed me
5 February 2022 : contrary to what erica western teleport stipulates i do want you to think of me reading on the L train
5 February 2022 : doing activities
5 February 2022 : why was i listening to erica western teleport at the crack of dawn ? mind your business
5 February 2022 : heard the abuelita on the bus behind me saying with such conviction “ya no quiero ser amiga de ella” so my ears immediately perked up and the reason for the dissolution of the friendship in question is: “brujeria”
5 February 2022 : RT @hetherrfortune : my mantrapic.twitter.com/JTvFEBGqpT
5 February 2022 : gator okpic.twitter.com/Lenudqq27h
5 February 2022 : AHHH THANK U
5 February 2022 : the tattoo getter writes history i don’t know what to tell u
5 February 2022 : my mom’s review is in: “Omg. Es grande.”
5 February 2022 : yoooooooo
6 February 2022 : slightly blasted at the david byrne function
6 February 2022 : gator hurts
6 February 2022 : rattled to my fucking core by the late mighty mighty bosstones coming on at the times square margaritaville
6 February 2022 : sorry, the late late mighty mighty bosstones
6 February 2022 : is there anything more humiliating than making direct eye contact with someone who has just watched you realized you made a train error. no
6 February 2022 : if you didn’t t like these what the fuck is wrong. with youhttps://twitter.com/pkhakpour/status/1490024851670650880 …
6 February 2022 : RT @bugposting : my “gulch” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt
6 February 2022 : if you look at me when i’m hungover you go to jail
6 February 2022 : precisely
6 February 2022 : woke up immediately thinking about how yesterday when i was on hour two of having a gator carved into my body and shooting the shit with the other guys at the shop one of them goes “yeah that’s kind of like they guy who went viral on tiktok, caleb, who my wife works with,”
6 February 2022 : david byrne’s american zootopia
6 February 2022 : american utopia is just so fuckin GOOD and SPECIAL and i can't believe it's a thing i get to just see
6 February 2022 : extreme craving for a strawberry shortcake shake (just a strawberry shake with a biscuit in it) from bartley’s in harvard square which i have only ever had on the occasions where my boss at the book store needed to do bribery to me
6 February 2022 : staying still after hearing that sentence was my greatest accomplishment of the day
6 February 2022 : did you know there is a last call at margaritavillepic.twitter.com/G6CPli4F9m
6 February 2022 : i wish i were joking but i felt something weird in my shoe and upon investigation it was: an arcade token from roxy's grilled cheese
6 February 2022 : this is the only correct way actually
6 February 2022 : the bangs situation is fraught
6 February 2022 : made tortillas for the first time since somerville thinking to myself “i don’t make tortillas often enough why is that” turns out it’s because i almost set off the fire alarms every single time
6 February 2022 : i am on hour thirty three of this eyeliner
7 February 2022 : biological clock but for the looming fear you're running out of time to dine at rainforest cafe while it still exists
7 February 2022 : do i look like someone who has ever done irony i have a tattoo that says cynicism isn't wisdom on it
7 February 2022 : rediscovering some very tragic playlists i made in twenty twenty and just laughing
7 February 2022 : absolutely nothing in my life was dire enough for me to open a playlist with radiator hospital’s fireworks and close it with radiator hospital’s fireworks (reprise) 2020 claudia please just drink some water
7 February 2022 : for my birthday please give me one french fry if everybody i know does this i will have so many french fries
7 February 2022 : thinking about when my friends almost got in an accident stopping in the middle of the mcgrath/broadway intersection bc they saw me outside the dunkies after months of early pandemic separation and yelled my name but i couldn’t hear them because i was listening to limp bizkit
7 February 2022 : after too many good days in a row i have to humble myself in some way such as “melting a pyrex lid” “again”
7 February 2022 : if the trajectory of my birthday actually ends up being margaritaville -> david byrne -> emo night i will achieve peak claudia and i don't know where to go from there
7 February 2022 : RT @HopAlongBot : How simple my heart can be Frightens me
7 February 2022 : not a day goes by that i don't think about "i live inside my own heart, matt damon"
7 February 2022 : me being priced out of bad bunny tickets is antilatinidad
7 February 2022 : val i definitely considered "can i just melt this hole closed" so thank you
7 February 2022 : i am going to figure out how to get this [redacted] tattoo and get it good if it's the last thing i do
8 February 2022 : “polar seltzer MEANS NOTHING” - my friend trying to talk me down from going on a date in new england
8 February 2022 : holy shit thank you for this gift
8 February 2022 : scabby peely part of tattoo healing becomes more bearable if you get one of a reptile. you can't blame them it is what they do
8 February 2022 : if i listen to yo la tengo between the months of november and march my computer should be programmed to self-destruct
8 February 2022 : perfect song
8 February 2022 : if you don't like downtown by m*cklemore you're a coward
8 February 2022 : oscar-mayer-nominated
8 February 2022 : why would you attack me, specifically, in this way
8 February 2022 : the whiplash i just experienced seeing this announcement and then seeing that the brooklyn date is two weeks awayhttps://twitter.com/tigersjaw/status/1491095349238591491 …
8 February 2022 : CHRIS PLEASE
8 February 2022 : you expect me to see the beths and tigers jaw within days of each other ??? in this emotional economy ???
8 February 2022 : spirit desire perfect song
8 February 2022 : RT @fingerbIaster : I just tried to watch jaws and couldn't last 20 minutes. it's straight up glorifying sharks eating people
8 February 2022 : “polar seltzer MEANS NOTHING” - my friend trying to talk me down from going on a date in new england
8 February 2022 : date idea i explain in great detail the meaning behind every title and cover photo for every one of my three-hundred-twenty-nine playlists
8 February 2022 : the coffee shop i went to this morning just reshared someone's instagram story where i am fully in the picture hunched over my laptop (one of two) like a little goblin so i'm moving out of brooklyn actually
8 February 2022 : two hands
8 February 2022 : i'm only a few chapters in but it's SO GOOD adam
8 February 2022 : every single longing playlist i've ever made has outlived the longing that sparked it
9 February 2022 : incapable of turning the heat down while cooking without whispering "low and slow babyyy"
9 February 2022 : actually very funny that the most upset i’ve been this year hinged on: the muppets
9 February 2022 : i think i should get an award for not scratching during tattoo healing itch stage or at least a small shiny star sticker
9 February 2022 : i just saw this and first of all ,
9 February 2022 : it IS the last day i’ll ever be twenty-six i AM on pto i DO think i may have taken my wellbutrin twice this morning,
9 February 2022 : if you don’t think i’m going on a walk today to listen to this whole album one last time during this age,
9 February 2022 : refusing to do anything about my eyes being broken mostly for the sake of plausible deniability
9 February 2022 : just kidding i just don’t know how health insurance works
9 February 2022 : had a dream that i got to the show i’m seeing tomorrow night only to find the seat i got a ticket for was facing the wall instead of the stage. will not be examining this
9 February 2022 : well now i do
9 February 2022 : hello what book should i get myself tomorrow during my traditional birthday bookstore activity
9 February 2022 : brooklyn coffee shop bathroom where some employee dutifully writes “cringe” next to any new graffiti they don’t approve of this isn’t a concept bit this is where i peed today
9 February 2022 : cheekface covering they might be giants (and this they might be giants specifically) is claudia rightshttps://twitter.com/cheekfacereal/status/1491283045902880770 …
9 February 2022 : thinking about my boss putting it on record that i “lead with purpose and heart” as i use strangers as indirect human shields while jaywalking so cars don’t get mad at me
9 February 2022 : the thinking about ana ng by tmbg to thinking about cute thing by csh pipeline
10 February 2022 : r.i.p. to my run of ages i am being mentioned in future teens' in love or whatever
10 February 2022 : a lot of what i've listened to lately has been music i put on to write or study so my lastfm most-listened are all explosions in the sky like i'm a teenager in great despair again
10 February 2022 : but really: their Big Bend public television nature documentary soundtrack from last year is gorgeous and you should listen to it on an early morning or late night walk okay that's all
10 February 2022 : it actually rules to have the same birthday as your abuser! every year you get to celebrate each and every good fuckin thing you’ve become and built despite them! what a gift! to be alive and also your abuser’s worst nightmare!!!
10 February 2022 : did not think i was on main but anyway here we are yes i got a terrifying voicemail a few hours early this year and yes my father insisting on my womb extraction being scheduled for his birthday was its own red flag
10 February 2022 : RT @er0b : happy birthday Claudia, I hope your new year is filled with dunky donashttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1468954148045348877 …
10 February 2022 : i love to be deeply understood on my birthed day
10 February 2022 : birthdaypic.twitter.com/J0bDiHDBDm
10 February 2022 : thank you so much!
10 February 2022 : THANK YOU I LOVE YOU truly how else would i have survived high school
10 February 2022 : i love you!!!
10 February 2022 : thank you
10 February 2022 : thank you!!
10 February 2022 : RIGHT BACK AT YA
10 February 2022 : thank you mg!!
10 February 2022 : i am so overwhelmed with luv n gratitude for everyone in my little life that i keep almost opening my responses to happy birthday texts with “happy birthday!!!”
10 February 2022 : have received the best birthday gift imaginable which was just now at mcnally jackson when a bookseller stomped by, his manager asked “are you… BLEEDING” and he said what sounded like “yes, a fucking mouse got me” and the manager went “a MOUSE” and he said “MAUS. the BOOK.”
10 February 2022 : takes me back to my golden days of incurring bloody injury on-shift at independent bookstores. oh to once again be in harvard book store realizing my tooth just fell apart
10 February 2022 : last weekend at david byrne’s american utopia we were in the very last row being the rowdy kids at the back of the bus tonight at david byrne’s american utopia i’m going to be front row and center like the eager star student big week for the containing multitudes industry
10 February 2022 : going to the utopia anyone need anything
10 February 2022 : okay wordle switching over to the nyt on MY birthday, me, the person who just started paying off another year of back-taxes resulting from the nyt’s anti-worker labor practices, what the fuck,
10 February 2022 : due to my inability to correctly schedule errands i will be sitting feet from stage and screen’s david byrne with a bottle of cumin on my person
11 February 2022 : i have made more direct eye contact with david byrne tonight than i ever wanted to actually
11 February 2022 : the amount i would have liked: zilch the amount i experienced tonight: so much
11 February 2022 : i just had this experience but with joe’s pizza… tragique
11 February 2022 : front row and center at the davie byrne function tonight consisted of a dad (who’d seen talking heads on the stop making sense tour) and i having a transcendental experience and his adult daughter in between us praying for death
11 February 2022 : do you have songs that you can measure yrself by? like w/ every deliberate or surprise revisiting you feel so close to every age it has ever been significant to you but also so aware of how much you’ve grown? anyway i’m getting misty-eyed abt aside by the weakerthans in union sq
11 February 2022 : COME THE FUCK THROUGH VAL
11 February 2022 : i feel like i got run over even though i had zero alcohol yesterday and i was home by midnight is this what life has in store for me
11 February 2022 : the third act of my twenties will be about becoming insufferable
11 February 2022 : maybe shouldn't say "i'm going mannequin pussy mode" about my plans tomorrow night
11 February 2022 : (the lineup is stupid stacked i am not forgetting the rest of it mp is just the only band on it i haven't seen yet despite great effort)
12 February 2022 : please nobody i have gone on terrible dates with be at birdy’s tonight amen
12 February 2022 : i have been out so little the last couple of months that when tasked when choosing between a gansett and a high life at a bar i panicked and chose both
12 February 2022 : pic.twitter.com/JnPAIq32jt
12 February 2022 : this is the only piece of music crit literature that has ever existedhttps://twitter.com/thorntirega/status/1492208320723226625 …
12 February 2022 : in no way an introvert and always wanting to share experiences with people above all but one of the many sick aspects of growing beyond misguided self-loathing is how doing things alone goes from worst case scenario to a really truly good time once you realize you fuckin rule
12 February 2022 : ankles out in february
12 February 2022 : hey real quick why in the hell and fuck did nobody tell me ,,, me ,,, that david byrne did a song with yo la tengo
12 February 2022 : cute!!!
12 February 2022 : i could have so many more brain worms than i do and i think that’s what we should focus on
12 February 2022 : did not intend to become the kind of person with A Birthday Weekend but we are in fact on day three of my birthday (observed)
12 February 2022 : disaster: forgot to lotion my gator before leaving for the gig
12 February 2022 : the lack of follow-up elaboration here is criminal
12 February 2022 : i am the main character of the subway platform
13 February 2022 : claudia? at the gig? it’s more likely than you thinkpic.twitter.com/eM3wFcU1xt
13 February 2022 : correct
13 February 2022 : “you just look like you’re going to the screaming females show” best review of me so far this year
13 February 2022 : computer, enhance https://twitter.com/oceanator/status/1492667717115158532 …pic.twitter.com/GRO3b43Hf9
13 February 2022 : shouted “COOL MARTHA SHIRT” at @dimwizzy between oceanator songs and the guy next to me asked me “like… stewart???”
13 February 2022 : if i have to explain to my tattooer that the gator needs a touch-up because i couldn’t resist the siren call of the mannequin pussy pit,
13 February 2022 : thank you j!!!
13 February 2022 : every time i get to see marissa paternoster shred it dislodges something in me. like a chiropractor
13 February 2022 : TO BE CLEAR this was between sets i’m not a dillweed. or i am but not in the up-front-band-playing-phone-out way i would rather die
13 February 2022 : if you have ever made me read a tweet about how little you care about something you have to venmo me 5 to 50 dollars (sliding scale) with the memo “i’m sorry i never evolved past middle school”
13 February 2022 : fine print says there are exceptions for people i love and who are fun and capable of joy, you’re good
13 February 2022 : LA locals and people i have already resolved enthusiasm beefs on [website redacted] exempt
13 February 2022 : sorry to the dozen and growing people i haven't texted back today i have been busy finally watching love is blind and being on pants strike (birthday day four)
13 February 2022 : you weren't but your moments of goblin behavior did eventually lead to you meeting the love of your life so i mean
14 February 2022 : at the disorganized brewery looking for my lost maker of malt
14 February 2022 : misplaced my whole brain, looking for my lost thinker of thought
14 February 2022 : working on this topography puzzle, looking for my lost crater or fault
14 February 2022 : tried to find the right synonym for a word in someone's short story i'm editing and google gave me "raggedy-ass"pic.twitter.com/CHWj2amNi7
14 February 2022 : coffee shop is playing rumours front to back happy valentine's day
14 February 2022 : you make a good point, i'll tell them to queue it up as a shot/chaser situation
14 February 2022 : my most embarrassing tattoos are still ahead of me
14 February 2022 : RT @jennyslate : As the image of myself becomes sharper in my brain&more precious, I feel less afraid that someone else will erase me by denying me love
14 February 2022 : thinking abt: making people playlists full of songs that sound like they make you feel / getting people gifts that make them feel known / showing people art that reminds you of them / curation as a love language
14 February 2022 : all too well (ten minute version), anything off rumours, i can’t be with you
14 February 2022 : dancing on my own!!!
14 February 2022 : make it work like jake gyllenhaal couldn’t, jack
16 February 2022 : if i were carly rae jepsen i would regret inventing emotions
16 February 2022 : can’t post my two dunx activities without instagram thinking i sold out (dunkin donuts sponsor me though)pic.twitter.com/XHaNkNYcBH
16 February 2022 : if you’re one of the people who ask me how i’m holding two dunx one hand you have to tip 25% minimum any time you get food or drinks anywhere
16 February 2022 : the end of the WHAT
16 February 2022 : most stressful bagel of my life. so far
16 February 2022 : unfortunately i am timeblocking
16 February 2022 : if i were carly rae jepsen i would regret inventing emotions
16 February 2022 : i am tired of everyone'S tweets so i have just been reading my own
17 February 2022 : hello from the @badmovesDC gig in the big apple where i caught a baguette on my day off from selling baguettes and my friends and i had the time of our fuckin lives pic.twitter.com/OmzFIJMzL0
17 February 2022 : i love to be recognized for my skills and brandingpic.twitter.com/SlzByT3I4t
17 February 2022 : happy anniversary of immediately-pre-pandemic communal gig baguette to all who observehttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1229239318461460480 …
17 February 2022 : oh 2 catch a baguette held by countless hands like a bouquet and immediately start eating it with friends and strangers and later climb a stage packed with way too many people , holding your half-eaten baguette ,,, still entire weeks ahead of you before entering the nightmare ,,,
17 February 2022 : wait why are all of my messages i'll never respond to on the app i open once every two months about thispic.twitter.com/N5Y5ADSQUO
17 February 2022 : sorry to keep doing tired format tweets but i'm in my making dreams i've had my whole life come true era
17 February 2022 : okay hear me out: Mama's Too March Madness
17 February 2022 : once every five weeks i open tinder for ten seconds, incur immediate psychic damage, say "that's enough out that" out loud,
25 February 2022 : sometimes you strategically find a spot in the crowd where you can see but don’t block anyone’s view but the right before the set you came for your whole view is blocked by a 6’6” man pushing his way up and upon closer inspection that man IS: your ex from a whole different city
25 February 2022 : yes i reactivated my entire twitter for this i need the most claudia thing to happen to me this calendar year so far on record. why does boston haunt me is it because i made too many molasses flood jokes
25 February 2022 : i have physically escaped boston and someday by god i will spiritually escape boston
25 February 2022 : adam , okay fine
25 February 2022 : drafts from right before i deactivated my twitter / drafts from after i deactivated my twitterpic.twitter.com/esqHrAfFJa
25 February 2022 : drinking very very infrequently mean there's always enough time passing between each occasion for your little brain to forget how easily you get Too Drunk and subsequently how bad a hangover feels. bring me gator Aid
25 February 2022 : aid for gators (me)
25 February 2022 : three all-gray guesses into today's wordle and praying for death
25 February 2022 : woke up still baffled at how These Things Happen 2 Me i am invoicing god for damages. am i in a bad sitcom. is this my truman show
25 February 2022 : howeveR the most egregious tall boy crime at the gig was that a narragansett cost $8
25 February 2022 : jesus
25 February 2022 : first of all HELL YEAH BABYYYYYYY
25 February 2022 : hello everyone come 2 the brooklyn show for both this slam dunk lineup and the broadway's very good fries. thankshttps://twitter.com/badmovesDC/status/1497255517835735043 …
25 February 2022 : if i give you a list of places we could go on a date and you don'T choose the skee ball one that's a red flag bitch
25 February 2022 : men go to music college and emerge proficient in the wrong kind of audacity
25 February 2022 : pissed Off my dentist appointment is at 2:45 instead of tooth hurty
25 February 2022 : i am so hyped to see tigers jaw tomorrow night it’ll be almost as good as the central park show when joyce manor went into a surprise I Saw Water cover and i immediately got kicked in the jaw (human)
25 February 2022 : how do i get my wisdom teeth yanked out without needing to pay thousands of dollars. they’re not even impacted. does anyone have ten to twenty minutes and a pair of pliers
25 February 2022 : considering coming out of crush retirement
26 February 2022 : it is good to have a deep and seething rage reawakened every once in a while. like a spicy little bloodletting
26 February 2022 : going to an eye doctor for the first time ever today which is of course also the morning i wake up being able to see more than twenty feet in front of me for the first time in years
26 February 2022 : for many months my eyes have been so bad i have at point walked right past people i’ve known for years but todaY they’re jusT FINE I GUESS
26 February 2022 : everything costs money. has anyone noticed this
26 February 2022 : everyone i know with glasses has just been walking around with hundreds of dollars on their faces??? anyway i need glasses
26 February 2022 : tell me what to get for lunch i am out of decisions until next month
26 February 2022 : my insurance and i paid someone money to tell me computers are ruining my eyes and life. bitch i know
26 February 2022 : experiencing personal growth (putting sunscreen on my face and not just my tattoos)
26 February 2022 : unfortunately it is Always really like that
26 February 2022 : the last time i saw tigers jaw i was still living on the south shore and had to spent an entire night in my personal hell (south station) in between trains and tonight i’m seeing them a seven minute walk from my apartment that’s real estate baby
26 February 2022 : just kidding my actual personal hell is: north station
26 February 2022 : very few songs make me instantly absolutely feral like I Saw Water does
26 February 2022 : RT @jamieloftusHELP : ive been saying thispic.twitter.com/ZF5aNzBWXk
27 February 2022 : big coat sheer tights can’t lose
27 February 2022 : precisely
27 February 2022 : couldn’t find my ticket because market hotel put an apostrophe in tigers jaw. we used to be a country
27 February 2022 : not even in the venue yet and @QuintonBrock_ is already my all-time favorite opener just for stopping by the line outside to yell “I’M TRYNA JACK BLACK IT TONIGHT, OKAY?”
27 February 2022 : what i was TRYING TO SAY was i almost got popeye’s fries in manhattan earlier but i had already gotten mcdonald’s fries big fry day for the household
27 February 2022 : cute bartender said “i feel like i’ve seen you here before” and i looked him dead in the eye and said “taylor swift night”
27 February 2022 : it had been a minute since i had been to a “is this sweat mine or not? it’s both or maybe blood” type of show and i’m here to report: still rules
27 February 2022 : i lost a shirt button in the tigers jaw pit
27 February 2022 : if you've never met me how tall do you think i am
27 February 2022 : oR if you knew me before you met me were you surprised by my actual height
27 February 2022 : that's because that was three lifetimes and a half ago (i need to go back to providence soooon)
27 February 2022 : nick i actively have a tab open for sushi i'm gonna pick up, you are on my wavelength
27 February 2022 : significantly no
27 February 2022 :
27 February 2022 : whenever a friend asks me to make them a playlist i feel so honored it's like they've asked me to be their child's godmother. i will clear my calendar. i will cancel all my plans just to get the sequencing right
27 February 2022 : between my giant laundry backpack and my bangs situation and my Ethnic Energy i look like dora the explorer decided to disappoint her parents. and swiper
1 March 2022 : pic.twitter.com/JItMwZk9bf
1 March 2022 : !!! hell yeah, congrats!
1 March 2022 : hyping myself up to see the wonder years in two weeks by thinking about aging
1 March 2022 : at some point this year i will need to ask a medical professional who studied for decades if i can "still go in the pit"
1 March 2022 : pissed off because last night i had a very vivid dream about resolving an interpersonal conflict and now i'm not pissed off about the conflict anymore
1 March 2022 : if you're one of the people posting about not knowing what today's wordle means congratulations on having a well-adjusted social life growing up
1 March 2022 : and also never having left the continental united states
1 March 2022 : why is there a meeting on my calendar titled "watch out [company name] gen z is coming"
1 March 2022 : tempeh has no business being as good as it is
1 March 2022 : i have a first date tonight and i am extremely anxious except it’s not because of the date it’s because i Got Coffee From Three Different Places Today For Some Reason
1 March 2022 : ah yes local fine bean, dunx starbucks then dunx again (different dunx though), thank u
1 March 2022 : texting everyone i've ever gone on a date with "am i fun on dates" exit interviews. with analytics
2 March 2022 : state of grace is one of the best album openers of all time and there’s nothing you can say to the contrary it’s science
2 March 2022 : the t.s. in t.s. eliot stands for american poet taylor swift
2 March 2022 : it's one of the best things i've ever seen, i'm so excited for u!
2 March 2022 : line in the buyout contract stipulating that every metal band has to change their logo to the fortnite font
2 March 2022 : okay what the fuck is a sneaky link
2 March 2022 : at some point in the last year i developed "standards" and mostly it's been "very inconvenient for me"
2 March 2022 : men will really just say anything on dates "your phone is on military time that's so hot" what the fuck are you talking abouT
2 March 2022 : extremely surprised_pikachu.jpg every time a show i dragged my feet on buying tickets to sells out
3 March 2022 : claudia morales draft machinepic.twitter.com/aczEYHhPeR
3 March 2022 : @thenickguy we gotta go to full circle in williamsburg sometime!
3 March 2022 : starting a gofundme for my can’t keep my mouth shut disease (chronic)
3 March 2022 : duh
3 March 2022 : the lady who just checked me in at the doctor’s office asked me if i’d eaten since we’re doing bloodwork and then turned to the newbie she’s training and said “you always want to check, and we do have food if we get fainters, but this one — this one doesn’t look like a fainter”
3 March 2022 : hell YEAH
3 March 2022 : got blood work done for the first time in a year and the phlebotomist said “no veins. you have no veins.” ?????? what’s going on in therehttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1373301227501543426 …
3 March 2022 : also when she finally found one she pointed at it and said “do NOT get a tattoo there”
3 March 2022 : okay a show in brooklyn so we can play skee-ball
3 March 2022 : making this doctor my primary because the bathroom lighting is goodpic.twitter.com/78xTzy9Xkr
3 March 2022 : my zipper is NOT down it’s just LIKE THAT
3 March 2022 : baby’s first bonus is in part going to the david byrne industrial complex
3 March 2022 : 1) let’s GO 2) i really hope this includes people who have no fuckin clue who i am
3 March 2022 : got my first tetanus shot since middle school so if any of my haters were planning on driving rusty metal into my flesh bad news bitch
3 March 2022 : real claudia heads will know i was supposed to get it this time last year but skipped my appointment to make boston mistakes
3 March 2022 : RIGHT BACK AT U
3 March 2022 : claudia morales draft machinepic.twitter.com/aczEYHhPeR
3 March 2022 : Oops I Forgot I’m A Medical Mystery
3 March 2022 : Even Though I Am Having A Little Bit Of A Garbage Week There Is Still Whale TikTok
3 March 2022 : @nowah march
4 March 2022 : hmm . turns out the only real way to avoid contracting coronavirus is bringing me, claudia morales, bags of those cadbury mini eggs
4 March 2022 : i'm fine i just need to catch up on sleep, a good slice of pizza, the men in black flashy thing, a kiss on the forehead, and for someone to punch me in the face,
4 March 2022 : this is the exact joke i made and she didn't laugh so this is both very validating and further proof that you are a light in my life
4 March 2022 : it appears i waited until i was exactly the amount of fragile i needed to be to watch encanto because i am fifteen seconds in and already [tearing up in spanish]
4 March 2022 : some of you may say "claudia this isn't a first for disney, coco came out five years ago, calm down" but to that i say: i still haven't seen coco because when i went to my friends' house to watch it i had just eaten a weed cookie too big for me and thought i was part of time
4 March 2022 : i was (and remain) a weed rookie and nobody told me not to eat the whole huge thing and it all hit me at once right when the titlecard came on and i was so high all i could see for hours were optical-illusion-meme squiggles and i still have not recovered from the humiliation, so,
4 March 2022 : for MY purposes this is in fact disney's first act of latinx representation and it's MY watch party and i WILL cry if i want to
4 March 2022 : "drew and embarrassing baguette" is my new favorite combination of words
4 March 2022 : okay you were right
4 March 2022 : scientifically speaking for making it through a garbage week i deserve extra swirl at dunkies
4 March 2022 : my food log app is a latinx allypic.twitter.com/Qu1z0lEfTI
4 March 2022 : hmm . turns out the only real way to avoid contracting coronavirus is bringing me, claudia morales, bags of those cadbury mini eggs
4 March 2022 : i could "be responsible" or i could "go to boston to see the wonder years and hug my friends"
4 March 2022 : i am SO TEMPTED; that or an emo night sometime soon
4 March 2022 : thank u miss u
4 March 2022 : i have been looking forward to spring this whole time but as it draws nearer the ice cream trucks blasting absolutely fuckigngn cursed unholy nightmare remixed music are returning so actually i would like winter foreve r
4 March 2022 : the bread knife…… betrayed me
4 March 2022 : pleasE
4 March 2022 : honestly harry styles
4 March 2022 : i CUT my THUMB trying to SLICE soured dough so you have to be nice to me forever
4 March 2022 : i will have a beveravge tonight. maybe more
5 March 2022 : i look dumb in hats and that is my burden to bear
5 March 2022 : listening to carly rae jepsen a lot again but not in a anything interesting is happening in my life way
5 March 2022 : extremely good!!!
5 March 2022 : just remembered what i'm doing today and got so excited i tripped over my own feet doing a little dance about it
5 March 2022 : played heardle and i think it spiked my adrenaline
5 March 2022 : got it in one, duh
5 March 2022 : the child abuse to having five mountain goats tattoos pipeline. sorry i’m trying to delete this
5 March 2022 : i’m the background paddington
5 March 2022 : when you're cooking brussels sprouts and they go from green to Green that's free serotonin baby
5 March 2022 : hot girls have terrible no good abysmal knife skills but they’re considering taking a class later this year. relatedly i need to re-up on band-aids
5 March 2022 : clown behaviorpic.twitter.com/pCZrCbhQWW
5 March 2022 : i sliced this thumb yesterday and managed to RE-SLICE it today. also i’m single
5 March 2022 : i’m thriving
5 March 2022 : when the steel drum hits in uh-oh love come to town by talking heads it’s claudia rights
5 March 2022 : i wish the wonder years were doing suburbia front-to-back after the upsides instead of the other way around on the anniversary tour but i’m so fuckin giddy that i’m going to see them open with came out swinging
5 March 2022 : i will tell my lawyer to go easy on you
5 March 2022 : acceptable
5 March 2022 : unfortunately i need to see american utopia again
5 March 2022 : PLEASE literally whenever
6 March 2022 : RT @parshally_there : Ruining @claudiaposting’s good time, one unhinged text at a time
6 March 2022 : i’m at the wonder years tattoo. i’m at the mountain goats tattoo. i’m at the combination the wonder years and the mountain goats tattoo.pic.twitter.com/C7EgBUGVLS
6 March 2022 : it is cool and good to take songs that you’ve leaned on through seasons of your life you couldn’t imagine you’d emerge from and turn them into something tangible you can carry around with you. also: fight me
6 March 2022 : pov you are my mobile devicepic.twitter.com/mU1D0ztDrq
6 March 2022 : i am cacklinG
6 March 2022 : very hot of me to be so good at tattoo aftercare
6 March 2022 : just applied saniderm on my arm using my non-dominant hand without any wrinkles or air bubbles no one can tell me shit today
6 March 2022 : i did in fact have to do thishttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1492688580128526336 …
6 March 2022 : my bangs are wider now and so is my power
6 March 2022 : the ice cream in my hair is a statement actually
6 March 2022 : the statement is that i need adult supervision
6 March 2022 : drafts revealpic.twitter.com/toWzbuKO7F
7 March 2022 : claudia morales disco nap queen
7 March 2022 : sorry i can’t hear you over the sound of my SLUMBER
7 March 2022 : got three minutes of enjoying being dressed up in warm weather clothes before getting catcalled in a way that was disgusting AND uncreative
7 March 2022 : i think all shows should be at venues a five minute walk from my apartment
7 March 2022 : i just realized the broadway is across from my dunkies which i never realized because i only go to each in daylight and night dark respectively
7 March 2022 : perfect night AND it started with a cute girl recognizing my nana grizol tattoo. it’s claudia season
7 March 2022 :
7 March 2022 : drafts revealpic.twitter.com/toWzbuKO7F
7 March 2022 : did i tell people this was going to be my last one for a while in the lead-up to the boxer tattoo? yes. am i already talking to my tattooer about the next two and when we can squeeze them in? also yes,
7 March 2022 : i am still paying for all my tattoos using cash tips from my days in the greater boston area brunch industrial complex that i hoarded in socks like a doomsday prepper
7 March 2022 : anyone want to hold a gun to my head until i finish a zine
7 March 2022 : there are only two types of comments i get on this tattoo and it's either "holy shit is that a nana grizol tattoo" or men at bars who take it as an invitation to talk to me about """wisdom"""
7 March 2022 : i am in a good mood and i am getting a handcrafted coffee refreshment about it
7 March 2022 : i meeeeean
7 March 2022 : i have sustained an iced coffee injury
7 March 2022 : thinking about the guy at maria hernandez park yesterday who saw a plastic bag floating by and yelled “WHAT IN THE KATY PERRY”
7 March 2022 : last night trying to explain buc-ee’s to a new friend and finding words fell short i stopped, looked at the high life in my hand, and said “it’s the champagne of beers of rest stops”
7 March 2022 : i would truly love to see phoebe bridgers live but i’m going to need technology developed that stops the sound of adult teens yelling “MOMMY” and who knows what else from reaChing my ears
7 March 2022 : thankspic.twitter.com/a2BAIrpFhS
7 March 2022 : RT @twinprincessltd : claudia twitter seems to be 40% documenting injuries
7 March 2022 : claudia body also 40% injuries
7 March 2022 : everybody say a little prayer to your favorite floor lamp that erin and i win the american utopia lottery for tomorrow
7 March 2022 : and by for tomorrow i mean wednesday, time is an illusion,
7 March 2022 : despite google's best efforts i AM going to the pup show (no dogs)
7 March 2022 : it is self-censorship when i only ask people “what the fuck is wrong with you” 20% of the time i want to
7 March 2022 : what happened to this tweet
7 March 2022 : r.i.p.
7 March 2022 : Does This Man Avoid Eye Contact With Me Around Bushwick Because I Yelled At Him About It Being Unethical Not To Tip One Time Or Is He Just Like That
8 March 2022 : i'm finally watching season two of love is blind but i can only watch it in two minute bursts or it would actually kill me
8 March 2022 : i am so sorry about this difficult time
8 March 2022 : searching apartments in brooklyn
8 March 2022 : actually really funny when abusers enter their "oh shit i'm going to die soon" era because then you start getting like "feliz dia de la mujer" texts from the same person whose tamer behaviors included spending two decades reminding you that, verbatim, you were his property
8 March 2022 : i did not mean this to go on main but this isn't sarcasm i laughed so hard when the text hit
8 March 2022 : belle AND sebastian? in this economy?
8 March 2022 : i am READY
8 March 2022 : tag yourself i'm the girl behind the second e (i am in fact the girl behind the second e) anyway listen to cheekfacehttps://twitter.com/cheekfaceREAL/status/1501252905600380931 …
8 March 2022 : drafts revealpic.twitter.com/toWzbuKO7F
8 March 2022 : celebrating women's day by getting in arguments with men in pop punk facebook groups
8 March 2022 : i will eventually (soon) write for this newsletter among some of the sharpest and funniest people i know; sign up to get it for zero or some dollars if you enjoy good things or being told what to do but in a cool wayhttps://twitter.com/tbarribeau/status/1500858043172487170 …
8 March 2022 : wait actually i just remembered you telling me i "can't just pick dunkin every week" so i am issuing a retraction
8 March 2022 : i am allergic to not winning the american utopia lottery
8 March 2022 : this does mean that i can't win it again myself before it closes so if anyone's tryna go and needs a buddy here i am
8 March 2022 : there are so many good things coming up for me in the weeks and months ahead , starting as soon as tomorrow , meteorologists agree: it's claudia season
9 March 2022 : People Think I Have Seen American Utopia More Times Than I Have
9 March 2022 : https://web.archive.org/web/20220309152838/https://t.co/kk2Wdep6pt
9 March 2022 : on the one hand leaving boston radically improved every aspect of my life on the other i love it and will get very defensive of it when bashed by anyone who hasn't lived there on the third hand if you think only unimaginative club bros that would have any reason to hate it,
9 March 2022 : i have three hands
9 March 2022 : chris there is so much going on in this sentence
9 March 2022 : no this is a work of art i am praising the absolute chaos of your life
9 March 2022 : THE DREAM
9 March 2022 : i've never loved a city more than i love providence which is the size of boston's pinky nail with less of everything on this list and still managed to not make me want to die anyway i'm deleting this bc only the people who make me still love boston will see it and there's a typo
9 March 2022 : thinking about how in a boston past life i had to listen to an ex regularly calling new york "a monument to man's arrogance" and only a year later at a netflix and chill realized he stole that from peggy hill
9 March 2022 : the weather outside my window has been oscillating between rain and snow in five-minute intervals like it's doing HIIT
9 March 2022 : me but "seeing both Hatchie and Nicole"
9 March 2022 : who will be the one (1) guy in the audience tonight who gives a spirited WOO when david byrne says "brian eno"
9 March 2022 : honestly i would but every single time i am busy having my brain overtaken by [adam scott voice] "old sourpuss" this is a tweet for like two people
9 March 2022 : doing my eye exercises so i can maybe see david byrne's face tonight
9 March 2022 : anima collective at mass moca of all places is A DREAM so excited for u
9 March 2022 : at every american utopia performance there is one person who goes WOO when david byrne says "brian eno" meanwhile i, like a woman possessed, am overtaken by the voice of scott aukerman saying "old sourpuss" directly into my brain
10 March 2022 : i am ON MY WAY
10 March 2022 : once again! alight with the very specific joy of seeing this gorgeous, moving, life-affirming show and the even greater joy of getting to share it with people! and of hearing david byrne say fuckhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1490352802304045068 …
10 March 2022 : wait are you in tiktok jail because you sent me thirty-four tiktoks in one night
10 March 2022 : i love to do activities with friends in new york city
10 March 2022 : can only describe david byrne's demeanor last night as lit
10 March 2022 : RT @er0b : it’s true he kept going “woooo!” when people cheered a long time “WOO!!”https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1501970427358425088 …
10 March 2022 : every time i see a man wearing a baseball cap up front in a broadway theatre i'm like are you famous or just like this
10 March 2022 : what about me makes people think that when i say i'm seeing iceage i'm talking aboutpic.twitter.com/wqxbzMEX4z
10 March 2022 : if you are confused as to why i've seen david byrne's show five times and counting you have a fundamental misunderstanding of my whole deal. i had del taco twenty times in one weekend once
10 March 2022 : the del taco thing did involve smash mouth. will not be elaborating
11 March 2022 : i just left the most boston bar i’ve been in since well pre-pandwmic and it’s in downtown manhattan; a girl told me i’m pretty and i got beer up my nose about it; i am yelling at ryan about tumblr in a pizza place; new york concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
11 March 2022 : i think iceage should open for harry styles send tweet
11 March 2022 : please let they legal twitter record show that i bet @ryantcarson one future beer that there would be spot at the iceage show (he said no) and i won within the first thirty seconds
11 March 2022 : by a spot i mean A PIT. i had beers
11 March 2022 : this exact demographic was what immediately made me go “what the fuck where am i” — also the fact that it was literally called The Patriot
11 March 2022 : note to self do NOT wear this shirt in the pit again. for tiddie reasons
11 March 2022 : HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU ABSOLUTE GIFT
11 March 2022 : the iceage show was fuckin unrealpic.twitter.com/JqvqMCaca5
11 March 2022 : i have a bruise on my chin and ribs
11 March 2022 : i need to be knocked around at the gig once a week for my health
11 March 2022 : RT @ryantcarson : Claudia yelled about Warring Glee fandoms on Broadway eating pizza, I can confirmhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1502102646546653189 …
11 March 2022 : iceage frontman was in fact deunkwretrpic.twitter.com/m16JS5WD8r
11 March 2022 : gone girling myself bc last night the bowery bartender said “hi again!” and the ONLY time she’s seen me was when i complimented her hat, she said “thanks! it’s my ex’s” and i, drunk, went “oh my GARBAGE EX from ANOTHER STATE is here FOR SOME REASON but i sold the clothes he left”
11 March 2022 : was that first show only two weeks ago? yes. was i still telling myself she wouldn’t recognize me while she was grabbing our beers last night? yes. will i be showing my face in this town again? no
11 March 2022 : RT @kississippiPHL : tbh i am deserving of real love and tenderness
11 March 2022 : if iceage made a song with sky ferreira turnstile can make a song with carly rae jepsen. for me
11 March 2022 : fuc k
11 March 2022 : baby’s first bonus hit today so i might wild out and buy a bigger coffee than usual or perhaps an ice cream treat
11 March 2022 : thinking about when an adult man made me an "i'm upset you don't want to date me" playlist and put you oughta know in it
11 March 2022 : it’s a beautiful gorgeous day to be alive and catastrophically hung over at the dunkin donuts
11 March 2022 : RT @cher : Sorry I’ve Been MIA. Been having Personal Problems
11 March 2022 : this fuckin rules and los campesinos fuckin rulehttps://twitter.com/LosCampesinos/status/1502343026244571136 …
11 March 2022 : also the implied future us tour ,,,
11 March 2022 : the wonder years playing both the upsides and suburbia front to back means i’m going to hear the songs with mountain goats references AND the songs with weakerthans ones so catch me in the pit getting my ass kicked by teens and achieving Peak Claudia
11 March 2022 : me explaining to my accountant that i DO need to spent money on another david byrne ticket because i can’t have my total end up being six because it’s not a number that feels right to my brain
11 March 2022 : i don’t have an accountant. or psychiatrist
11 March 2022 : where in new york do i get just like the absolute sickest brownie
11 March 2022 : every day i am tested on the sidewalk
12 March 2022 : my ability to resist murder
12 March 2022 : trader joe’s is the horniest grocery store
12 March 2022 : i just realized i have tickets to both mannequin pussy and pup for the same night this is is the worst thing to ever happen to me
12 March 2022 : pup is definitely the one i’m going to but come the fuck through peyton
12 March 2022 : can you elaborate for those of us who don't get every app update celebrity-levels of early
12 March 2022 : hello what is the best nu music you've heard recently. thanks
12 March 2022 : thanks i hate it
12 March 2022 : a mercy killing of sorts
12 March 2022 : i am in so many different and layered kinds of pain (all physical emotionally i am fine)
12 March 2022 : @megathornberry i have a show on wednesday 😖
13 March 2022 : hi it’s me, the oldest person at barricade for @thewonderyears, three bands deep into the lineup and surviving off of applesauce i smuggled in like the punkest preschooler you knowpic.twitter.com/D2KdgY7R9J
13 March 2022 : a girl behind me tapped me on the shoulder to say that she had seen me eating my illicit string cheese despite my stealth efforts and that it made me seem, and this is a direct quote, “powerful”
13 March 2022 : glanced at my calendar to check for conflicts in plan formulation and clearly i have a big day planned for may 22 2022pic.twitter.com/yy6yIHFCWI
13 March 2022 : come to new yorrrrk and then hang out with me when i come to toronto in a near-future where i'm not about to drop every dollar to my name on Procedures
13 March 2022 : you are incredible and i love you
13 March 2022 : love you, proud of you, so thankful i get to know you
13 March 2022 : thinking about the nicest thing anybody has ever said about mepic.twitter.com/utYmdA83fE
13 March 2022 : actually i think i deserve an all-access all-the-time conditionally formatted spreadsheethttps://twitter.com/amil/status/1502712543541923845 …
13 March 2022 : i deserve it because i'm exceptionally obtuse
13 March 2022 : one of these days i’m going to go to boston just to eat a buffalo tofu bowl from boloco , get salted caramel cookies and cream from jp lix (kiddie scoop), kiss four to seven people on the forehead, then leave same day
13 March 2022 : wait. like they were out of it that night or it’s gone gone? answer will affect whether or not i ever set foot in boston again
13 March 2022 : thank you for your journalism
13 March 2022 : RT @chris_conqueso : when will I get my nana grizol tattoo and enter my @claudiaposting era
13 March 2022 : adam please
13 March 2022 : electing to stay home to think about this must be the place
13 March 2022 : song of my heart!!! bitch
13 March 2022 : our long national nightmare (claudia not getting enough sleep lately) is over
13 March 2022 : i know i'm at least a tiny bit funny because not one but three different exes have said something to the effect of "that was almost funny" after i made a joke only to tell a worse version of it later
13 March 2022 : EVAN you are sweeter than i deserve thank u
13 March 2022 : thinking about which sneaky snacks i will bring to the wonder years shows this weekhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1004937347165835269 …
13 March 2022 : a girl behind me tapped me on the shoulder to say that she had seen me eating my illicit string cheese despite my stealth efforts and that it made me seem, and this is a direct quote, “powerful”
13 March 2022 : okay for real why do i miss boston lately
13 March 2022 : in a "missing the homies and the old haunts" way not in a "i will willingly live somewhere that made me want to die again" way
13 March 2022 : microdosing trying out the freezing tofu trick by having a fridge that’s just too cold
13 March 2022 : this block was exactly half frozen so it’s like a science experiment just for me
13 March 2022 : flo ridahttps://twitter.com/irishgoodbyes/status/1502446563926360066 …
13 March 2022 : remember when flo rida was my high school’s principal for eight hours
13 March 2022 : yeah i usually get like already-very-firm tofu and don't even need to press it so it's just never felt urgent to me, and in this mixed-up batch i just made i still super prefer the density of never-frozen to the sponginess of thawed
13 March 2022 : out the gate with "divorce feels like full blown covid" lmFao
13 March 2022 : nothing good can ever come of anyone telling me "you look super familiar"
13 March 2022 : update do NOT sneeze on me in the turnstile pitpic.twitter.com/5t2wUopeYN
13 March 2022 : am i intimidating
13 March 2022 : WHAT
13 March 2022 : you , of all people , with a 24/7 front row seat to how much of a certifiable fuckin softie dork i am ,
13 March 2022 : ouch !
13 March 2022 : it was what
13 March 2022 : oh noo thoughts and prayers
13 March 2022 : honestly god bless spring 2021 claudiapic.twitter.com/X4goFUdCSi
13 March 2022 : spring 2022 claudia is going to listen to the hampster dance song on a loop or maybe fill her ears with wax
13 March 2022 : i love all my dumb little playlists with dumb little cover art that's just photos from my wide-eyed little life i love being a sentimental little bitch !!!!!!!!
13 March 2022 : what if the next time i see david byrne perform is the last time :( yes i know this time last year i would've laughed real hard if you'd have told me i would see even one talking heads song performed live in my life time but :(
13 March 2022 : my cynicism isn't wisdom tattoo was supposed to keep me honest instead it just pisses me off
14 March 2022 : thinking about today during espresso training when, meaning to say i’d probably want to hold the cup from the bottom when pouring latte art, i looked our general manager in the eyes and said ‘yeah, i’ll probably be a bottom’
14 March 2022 : actually very funny the summer i've set myself up for
14 March 2022 : simply not having it since 1995pic.twitter.com/InxY8AY1tK
14 March 2022 : if i don't get off the wait list for either of the yard act shows it's going to be my joke origin story
14 March 2022 : i have missed each and every one of the hip talk-y british bands that have come through and it's antilatinidad somehow
14 March 2022 : pollo tropical gothic
14 March 2022 : oh my god meys please
14 March 2022 : yeah and they’re all me
14 March 2022 : this is just word for word the plot to Expiration Dating by future teens (also i have done this so welcome to the club)
14 March 2022 : hot girls sometimes burn an entire weekend being sad and eating raw tempeh and then wake up on monday full of joy suddenly
14 March 2022 : yes it helps that it was miserable out all weekend and now it’s sunny n warm and i have made yet another ******** ****** plan with someone i hold dear and i’m seeing one of my most formative bands for i think the eleventh and twelfth time this week and i am making a playlist and
14 March 2022 : have been reminded of the fact that i saw anderson .paak in a tiny room as the first of two openers for fucking george watsky lmao. the opener. for watsky
14 March 2022 : me as my drafts and me as i didn’t know my camera was onpic.twitter.com/c2O6uTIYKR
14 March 2022 : the first one is a serious inquiry i'm pissed off at myself for the lack of foresight that has directly led to me NOT being in boston for an emo night happening ON st. patrick's day
14 March 2022 : @day__glow that's me babyyy
14 March 2022 : hahahahaha WHAT
14 March 2022 : thinking about today during espresso training when, meaning to say i’d probably want to hold the cup from the bottom when pouring latte art, i looked our general manager in the eyes and said ‘yeah, i’ll probably be a bottom’
14 March 2022 : https://twitter.com/search?q=%40claudiaposting%20fuck&src=typed_query …
14 March 2022 : WHAT
14 March 2022 : this is ,,, incredible
14 March 2022 : is this early documentation of my innate problems with authority or of my phobia of loud sounds ? who's to say
14 March 2022 : not being able to see who's liked your playlists is gatekeeping me from being fuckign nosy
14 March 2022 : consistently more devastated by laura stevenson’s song about getting your master’s than a community college dropout should be
14 March 2022 : the degree to which i give myself over to melodrama today hinges entirely on wether or not the ice cream truck is on knickerbocker when i take a walk after work
14 March 2022 : if i don’t get some fuckign soft serve today prepare to be sick of me
14 March 2022 : this was actually my next question thanks
14 March 2022 : i think the irrelevant texts above this would have added to this post. in my opinionpic.twitter.com/FFMi7s22HV
14 March 2022 : gatekeeping somehow
15 March 2022 : rc, respectfully, what the fuck am i looking at
15 March 2022 : the fact that i can't see belle and sebastian when they're playing central park is biphobia. violence
15 March 2022 : margaritaville times square
15 March 2022 : all my on-this-day things are from the week the coffee shop i worked at shut down in 2020 and i am thinking about when a regular made me a playlist that had everywhere by fleetwood mac AND so hot you're hurting my feelings on it and i was still like "what a nice platonic gesture"
15 March 2022 : big goal this year to read in parks more often
15 March 2022 : only financial metric that matters to me is being stable enough to buy a switch again when breath of the wild 2 comes out
15 March 2022 : most of this is just half-sentences of me going insane from this time two years ago which is really very funny to look back on nowhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1471949324640735240 …
15 March 2022 : this time of my life was funny because i was making huge strides towards sustainable healthy habits for the first time in my life but also watching two hundred episodes of top chef in
15 March 2022 : american utopia is ENDING ending huh
15 March 2022 : which yes makes sense because they've been touring or broadwaying it for like half a decade now but :-(
15 March 2022 : on one hand i feel truly and incredibly lucky to have seen it at all and to have ended up back there so many times (with a couple more still ahead), especially alongside so many friends, but on the other hand: i'm a huge baby
15 March 2022 : i mean it’s not impossible they’ll do something with it again! the AU instagram has just started doing this “posting a goodbye to each member and talking about their next projects” thing
15 March 2022 : LOL
15 March 2022 : WHAT
15 March 2022 : claudia morales snap out of it challenge
15 March 2022 : making a song that’s just “listen to your heart.” “no.” by cheekface (known banger) but it goes:pic.twitter.com/UmpQ9WYCa5
15 March 2022 : six pm doors. what the fuck is this. an afterschool program
15 March 2022 : just kidding one time i saw this band at the royale and i swear to god it was 4pm doors
15 March 2022 : the only bands i’ve seen more times than i’ve seen the wonder years (who i’m seeing tonight and tomorrow) are the mountain goats and [redacted] and it’s so good to have those shows as markers in measuring out all the versions of myself i’ve been as i’ve grown and grown up
15 March 2022 : CARINA WHAt
15 March 2022 : there are definitely non-gouged resales floating around! especially on twitter
15 March 2022 : the main difference between me now and me the first six or seven wonder years show i went to is that i wear skirts in the pit now. and that i don't think i should be dead okay sorry i'm already deleting this
15 March 2022 : all day i’ve been like “wow cool i get to check another nyc venue off the list tonight !” i just got here and. i was here two weeks ago
15 March 2022 : the moment i walked into the venue september started playing let’s fuckign gooooo
15 March 2022 : wait sorry has origami angel just been two guys this whole time
16 March 2022 : anyway they played THE song that absolutely destroys me
16 March 2022 : continuing my long tradition of being The oldest person at barricade for the wonder years by singing along extra hard to all the spanish love songs lyrics about deep economic anxiety
16 March 2022 : like half of them ?
16 March 2022 : i am going to need information about the pair of PANTS that were passed up from the pit to security at barricade during the wonder years’ second set
16 March 2022 : a function of my insufferable but sincere sentimentality is that it makes me really happy the first time i get to hear a song live after getting a tattoo nodding to that song and last night the wonder years OPENED with came out swinging which is what my new boxer lady's about
16 March 2022 : it's also, in smaller part, about a mountain goats song, and the thing that first hooked me about the wonder years was that one of the first songs i heard from them (also played during the suburbia set last night) had a mountain goats reference in it https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1500292306238332935 …
16 March 2022 : the songs and the tattoo are about survival and it's cool and good to yell along to songs that felt like lifelines for a while and now just feel like victory laps around the fact that you're here and alive and so much more than you could have dreamt of the first time you heard em
16 March 2022 : jesus; glad you're okay
16 March 2022 : these photos were taken four years apart to the day, from “absolute rock fucking bottom on the massachusetts south shore” to “living all my wildest dreams and far beyond em in nu york city” :-)pic.twitter.com/M025VzzX0p
16 March 2022 : i know i’m not smiling in either of them but there isn’t a cry for help in my eyes anymore lmao
16 March 2022 : freshly-twenty-three-year-old claudia i am begging you to free your fucking forehead
16 March 2022 :
16 March 2022 : statistically i will probably be the hottest person with a stye at the gig
16 March 2022 : unless anyone else has a stye at the gig
16 March 2022 : okay sorry arcade fire teasing new song(s) using the lightning bolt hand art from the funeral liner notes is extreme claudiabaithttps://twitter.com/arcadefire/status/1504173682809319426 …
16 March 2022 : unfortunately i WILL be finally seeing arcade fire live on this tour even if it kills me or worse i have to pay using a win butler NFT which just seems like something he'd do
16 March 2022 : no one announce new york shows for the month of june. thanks
16 March 2022 : if they’re using funeral liner note art and it’s NOT an apology for their last album then it’s on sight for win butler
16 March 2022 : these are obnoxious but listen my air dry really came through for me todaypic.twitter.com/PlXntx96nL
16 March 2022 : i have been at the venue for five (5) minutes and three (3) different employees have said “you were here last night right” and i have broken two (2) masks does anyone want to kill or incapacitate me
16 March 2022 : girl in the bathroom stopped in the middle of complimenting my outfit because she noticed the chocolate bar sticking out of my fanny pack and asked “is that… a chocolate bar?” and it was a chocolate bar
16 March 2022 : relinquishing my eleven-show, four-state the wonder years barricade streak to get my ass kicked by teens in the pit
16 March 2022 : what is the overlap of people at this origami angel set singing along to bossa nova corps and people who have been to bossa nova social club. have scientists looked into this
17 March 2022 : okay somehow i have ended up at barricade again
17 March 2022 : moshing for my life to the recording of allen ginsberg reading his little poem that @thewonderyears play before they walk onstage
17 March 2022 : RT @megathornberry : we r having very different nightspic.twitter.com/j57g7LzSjZ
17 March 2022 : it took me 27 years of being in a body and about as long figuring out how to not hate it and also some fuckin courage to do it but: i just crowdsourced for the first time in my life during washington sq park at @thewonderyears show while wearin a SKIRT babyyypic.twitter.com/rLOQg4B9hm
17 March 2022 : chris when i tell you i literally thought about how happy you look when you do it while i was talkin myself up,,,
17 March 2022 : if you saw that last tweet no you didn’t i’m too SWEATY TONSPELLCHECK
17 March 2022 : LMAO WHOOPS
17 March 2022 : it took me 27 years of being in a body and about as long figuring out how to not hate it and also some fuckin courage to do it but: i just crowdsurfed for the first time in my fuckiN life during washington sq park at @thewonderyears show while wearin a SKIRT babyyypic.twitter.com/qeRC6geVdQ
17 March 2022 : okay i am JUST now registering the muffin information,,,, here i come
17 March 2022 : security guard at barricade who saw me eating apple sauce between sets last night looked me dead in the eyes and said “no SAUCE tonight, huh”
17 March 2022 : woke up still giddy about this crowdsurfing always looked like the coolest thing to me but i never thought i would do it or even that i couldbut one pandemic spent beating my self-image issues 2 death w a branch and one earnest punk song about escaping self-defeat later and
17 March 2022 : fuck aloofness die zealous
17 March 2022 : i love literary legend jack skellington
17 March 2022 : why do people always think i'm joking about my margaritaville tattoo. what do i look like to you
17 March 2022 : in retrospect i could have maybe chosen kinder words to say to the guy behind me when i was front row last night who kept asking me "are you okay, ma'am?" any time an arm so much as grazed mine and yelling at guys around him for "pushing the ladies" than "i'll fucking kill you"
17 March 2022 : "ma'am"
17 March 2022 : i just pressed play why does the first one open sounding like legend of zelda overworld music
17 March 2022 : arcade fire in their twilight princess era
17 March 2022 : new arcade fire sounds like if bruce springsteen did another feature on a bleachers track but this time they just got past the tutorial in a zelda game and are ready to explore hyrule
17 March 2022 : this sounds like a dunk until you remember who i am and my whole deal
17 March 2022 : win butler found bullied to submission on indieheads
17 March 2022 : listened to both tracks again and i am INTO IT okay catch me at the arcade fire show wearing a bolo tie and covered in glitter
17 March 2022 : yeah i’m honestly excited and i don’t think it’s even in the “i am blissfully easy to enthuse” way
17 March 2022 : they are the same picturepic.twitter.com/A1tE2n8frR
17 March 2022 : win butler saw this tweet and printed it out for his LP6 vision boardhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1402440652315627520 …
17 March 2022 : RT @steverousseau : love getting older and realizing that being vulnerable and generous is much more preferable to being smart and clever
17 March 2022 : that nice song cardi b and megan thee did together
17 March 2022 : welcome to my twitter heel turn which is revealing that arcade fire has been my third favorite band this whole time
17 March 2022 : damn so true steven hadn't considered this one before
17 March 2022 : what if we kissed in the arcade fire pit shortly before being gunned down by win butler (texan) for not being dressed up enough
18 March 2022 : RT @aliciakennedy : I am once again begging the internet to see criticism not as something to agree or disagree with but as an invitation to look at something differently.
18 March 2022 : i was so distracted by new arcade fire i forgot there's a whole new oso oso album dropping at midnight
18 March 2022 : wait is that ALSO tonight i thought it was next week for some reason. fuq
18 March 2022 : me as my drafts and me as girl after rowdy sweaty showpic.twitter.com/JyvDEVfRnX
18 March 2022 : happy st. patrick’s day to all the irish bartenders at the burren who have seen me in unspeakable states and to the lone unirish one who tried to set me up with a regular (who my manager referred to as “zz top lookin ass”) who tried to force his way into my uber home on halloween
18 March 2022 : also to sligo but we don't talk about sligo
18 March 2022 : god i'm so bummed i'm not in boston???
18 March 2022 : wild night of eating one of those energy goo packs meant for marathon runners then tidying the apartment, re-adhering lights in the kitchen, unfucking my room, doing an art project, fixing the dustbuster, seeing god (he was on my bedroom floor under all the clothes and treasures)
18 March 2022 : i can't believe be your own pet is back in it; i'm pretty sure i found out about that band on the forums for late great nickelodeon teen channel The N
18 March 2022 : at some unremembered point in the last week i started a playlist titled REVENGE FANTASY all-caps with no songs in it ???
18 March 2022 : why do i only get sick around party holidays; why doesn't god want me to win; this is exactly what beastie boys wrote that song about
18 March 2022 : RT @certainsongz: death cab for cutie, little bribes: "you said the city has a beating heart / that pushes people down the boulevard" the…
18 March 2022 : RT @certainsongz : what is the most romantic lyric (in a song that isn't 'this must be the place') of all time and why is it "if you get anxious, i'll put on law and order for you" from big lie by joyce manor
18 March 2022 : UHHH ANYONE GOING TO ARCADE FIRE AT BOWERY BALLROOM TONIGHT
18 March 2022 : there’s no way i’m getting one of these wristbands but i’m still HAULING absolute ass to the bowery right now just to try
18 March 2022 : they just posted a video putting up a flyer an hour ago and i am losing my mind
18 March 2022 : i’m on the train to try to get a wristband cross your fingers for ya girl
18 March 2022 :
18 March 2022 : on the j having an actual intense physical adrenaline response to this situation lmao
18 March 2022 : reddit from five minutes ago says there’s no line yet so i’m hopeful; 575 capacity so if you leave now i’d say you have a really good chance
18 March 2022 : I AM SEEING ARCADE FIRE, ONE OF MY FAVORITE BANDS IN THE WORLD, IN A 500 CAPACITY ROOM TONIGHT I LUV NEW YORKpic.twitter.com/h0tbglI4Tk
18 March 2022 : i was one of the last thirty people to get a wristband what in the hell and fuck
18 March 2022 : going to bring a basketball to the gig
18 March 2022 : i’ve been wanting to see this band for fifteen fuckigngn years n remember watching surprise shows like this hppen when i was in miami or kingston or anywhere but here and lamenting the distance, staying up until 4AM just to catch their coachella livestream, and now HERE WE ARE
18 March 2022 : i was listening to your playlist on the way over so it's scientifically my good luck charm
19 March 2022 : a code tally caught win butler’s water bottle and all i got were some dirty looks from guys who were at the secret arcade fire show Just To a hill
19 March 2022 : i cannot believe tonight happened to me
19 March 2022 : please check voice messages in two minute
19 March 2022 : accidentally
19 March 2022 : it killed me so
19 March 2022 : I HAVE INHERITED ARCADE FIRE’S PIZZA RIGHT INTO MY MOUTH
19 March 2022 : I AM NOT KIDDING
19 March 2022 : this pizza was delivered to us directly from the arcade fire green roompic.twitter.com/IK0HQJyhNb
19 March 2022 : cosmic reparations for what i have been put through
19 March 2022 : already deleting this but lmao at the guy who got so mad at my friend and i for being excited during arcade fire. how do you end up at a 200-ticket arcade fire show at the BOWERY to just chill out
19 March 2022 : lmao i am extremely directly behind win butler in the first part of this video having the time of my fucking lifEhttps://twitter.com/mehpatrol/status/1505013485188562945 …
19 March 2022 : both humiliated by this footage and deeply grateful for it!!! if you can’t spot me i’m the one who looks like a car dealership parking lot inflatable inflatable guy having a transcendental experience
19 March 2022 : i accidentally caught win butler’s water bottle after he threw it into the crowd at arcade fire’s surprise show and all i got were glares from dudes who just kind of stood there all night (sorry for the way i look i died at least three times tonight)pic.twitter.com/BjONQV2Cka
19 March 2022 : me losing my ticket to arcade fire arena tour years ago was divine intervention so my first AF show could be in a tiny room in new new york instead of in boston (derogatory)
19 March 2022 : hey good news 2014 claudiahttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/455588820030087169 …
19 March 2022 : okay it took eight years but i mean
19 March 2022 : i think today i will fly too close to the sun
19 March 2022 : oops i’m seeing arcade fire again tonight (and u could too)
19 March 2022 : ahhhh no way! but also: wasn't that unreal
19 March 2022 : accidentally became the unwitting class president of the arcade fire secret show night two
19 March 2022 : SORRY TO YOU AND CHRIS FARREN
19 March 2022 : shot the shit with the bowery’s gm while i was in line this morning and he disappeared into the venue and came back out and gave me arcade fire’s setlist from last nightpic.twitter.com/yK1mYkhut0
19 March 2022 : i don’t know but BOY am i thankful
19 March 2022 : last night a guy asked me what he should get airbrushed on his shirt at the arcade fire airbrush booth (???) at the arcade fire surprise show and i said “log off” and he did it. my impactpic.twitter.com/DjE8vQWfdw
19 March 2022 : going outfit repeater mode
19 March 2022 : My entire five year plan is just "see Arcade Fire live."
20 March 2022 : i have, in my time, been pushed with force by many many men opening up the pit but probably, as of tonight, most notably by: win butler
20 March 2022 : before arcade fire secret show / after arcade fire secret showpic.twitter.com/GZHAFsWNrD
20 March 2022 : suddenly i’m running around manhattan trying to figure out where the arcade fire wristbands for tonight are being sold because they decided it’s scavenger hunt sunday
20 March 2022 : they’re playing there but not giving the wristbands out there this time
20 March 2022 : absolutely! same goes for you; our hunches so far have proven fruitless
20 March 2022 : if i get a wristband in this scavenger hunt! if it’s not central park alice statue then i’m out of luck because i have to be at a thing at 3, but just the hunt has been its own thrill
20 March 2022 : lost out because i had to head back home, but not in time to get to maria hernandez which is right by my apartment :(
20 March 2022 : i might take a sick day for real; very bummed but so happy for those who got it!
20 March 2022 : i missed out on an arcade fire wristband because my phone died right before they dropped the actual locations it’s on sight for steve jobs
20 March 2022 : i’m reviving his ass
20 March 2022 : adam stop tempting me
21 March 2022 : yooo that makes me so happy! so so glad you were able to make it. unreal.
21 March 2022 : i, too, am FEELING IT
21 March 2022 : extremely fuckin funny that arcade fire really sent their new york fanbase to different basketball courts — one of which win b was shooting hoops at — to get into the fourth and final secret show; i believe in indie jock supremacy
21 March 2022 : anyway see you the fuck tonight
21 March 2022 : the brooklyn location was in bed-stuy and i'm in south bushwick and my roommate and i BOOKED IT
21 March 2022 : thanks 2 the universe for extremely making up for how cursed the first thing to ever happen to me at the bowery ballroom was
21 March 2022 : between going from zero arcade fire shows to three arcade fire shows in one weekend and the all-timer iceage gig — we good
21 March 2022 : you’re a wonderful person who i’m very happy to know.
21 March 2022 : going to the arcade* anyone need anything * fire
21 March 2022 : sucks to suck
21 March 2022 : the amount of times i have been told “i only got in because of you” throughout the arcade fire surprise residency has me all the way in my feelings
21 March 2022 : no greater joy than sharing moments with people! forging friendships with perfect strangers just because you recognize the spark of mutual enthusiasm! doing absolutely bonkers things with those strangers so you can all end up in a room dancing and yellin! wtf
21 March 2022 : i rolled up to the arcade fire function at the same time as david byrne and if that isn’t the most claudia thing to ever happen
21 March 2022 : l o n g :(
21 March 2022 : i CALLED davie b being here tonight earlier, i have never been wrong in my life,
22 March 2022 : yeah it seems like a FULL house; pretty crowded upstairs and when i ran to the bathroom there were a whole lotta people downstairs too.
22 March 2022 : third arcade fire show in four days (and third arcade fire show of my whole life) babyyyyyyyyypic.twitter.com/8VtcJVfEKi
22 March 2022 : sometimes you accidentally end up at the after party dancing with win and regine and paul from arc*de f*re for three hours. just claudia things
22 March 2022 : hopefully we actually end up at the same show on the same day someday!
22 March 2022 : when i say With i mean win b looked straight into my eyes while we shouted the chorus to Paper Plans at each other and that was just the beginning of the party
22 March 2022 : okay despite seeing him enter and later leave the venue around what is traditionally soundcheck time i did not expect him to SING THE CLOSING SONG WITH THE BAND
22 March 2022 : a lot of people dunking on the use of “pit” here but post-ny-shows i have bruises from moshing to neighborhood 1, got knocked on the ground by win butler, and then made him laugh really hard by saying “open up this pit” in his ear when he was pushing me back to do exactly thathttps://twitter.com/laynemontgomery/status/1505938299973689357 …
22 March 2022 : of the shows i’ve been to in the past week it wasn’t the punk one with crowdkilling etc. that had, objectively, the best pit; it was the tiny tiny arcade fire gigs.
22 March 2022 : i agree
22 March 2022 : bc i don’t want randos to find this by searching the band name
22 March 2022 : tiny tim cook
22 March 2022 : there were four consecutive secret shows at this tiny venue and i got into three of them and i truly have no idea how i got here from "posting arcade fire songs in tumblr in 2009 and lamenting that i'd never see them live"
22 March 2022 : lmao wait i think i was next to you for a lot of the show but i uhhh did not realize you were someone i followed on here
22 March 2022 : from now on no one can tell me shit bc a stranger at the afterparty told me i dance better than win butler after one of the songs win joined our group for + paul beaubrun pointed at me n said "i KNOW you're a boss" when i hit that one line while yellin every word to bodak yellow
22 March 2022 : truly wild that in a few years i've gone from being too self-conscious to even attempt dancing with my closest friends at parties to having the time of my life dancing with half of a larger-than-life band i've loved so so dearly since i was an actual child into the wee hourz
22 March 2022 : listen i know it’s a low bar but i’ll take what i can get
22 March 2022 : i was having so much fun dancing i didn't notice david byrne was there
22 March 2022 : a lot of people dunking on layne for the use of "pit" here but i have more bruises from moshing to Neighborhoods 1 and 3 last night, etc. etc., than i do from the fratty punk show feat. crowdkilling i went to last weekhttps://twitter.com/laynemontgomery/status/1505938299973689357 …
22 March 2022 : “what would an arcade fire pit even look like” hope this helpspic.twitter.com/HtX802Cwzm
22 March 2022 : last night this happened again and i made win butler laugh really hard by yelling “open up this FUCKIN PIT” in his ear while he was opening up the fuckin pit
22 March 2022 : if you spot me in this video i will venmo you $1 to spend at your discretion
22 March 2022 : hi hello watch this video to witness one of the coolest moments of my FUCKIN LIFE during from the fourth and final @boweryballroom arcade fire showpic.twitter.com/AGB1fRbiKr
22 March 2022 : i am famously bad at favorites and have had the great fortune of seeing many, many truly incredibly shows in my time but last night's @arcadefire show was — no competition — the best show of my wholeass life. what the fuck.
22 March 2022 : also yes you do get to kind of see see win butler knock me over in this video in case you have been praying on my downfall
22 March 2022 : i think i’ve reached the most important step of self-actualization which is, of course, “i’d have a crush on me”
22 March 2022 : oh my god i keep finding new angles of this
22 March 2022 : do an extra cry for me
23 March 2022 : i am still reeling from the world-shifting whiplash of being at the arcade fire show waiting for the encore, expecting it to be the band coming onstage as it has been the last few nights and as is tradition, and my eyes adjusting to the lights coming up only to see: mike myerspic.twitter.com/OWiRPXLBDv
23 March 2022 : i yelled what the fuck so loud i got weird looks; he talked about following your dreams and fighting fascism
23 March 2022 : three songs later david byrne came onstage so i just want you to think about the mike myers/david byrne backstage conversation
23 March 2022 : at the end of last night’s show, @arcadefire led the crowd out of the bowery ballroom and into the subway station (to the booth guy’s baffled delight) and i ended up in the middle of the band having a fuckin blast; arcade fire perfect perfect band forever and ever fuck youpic.twitter.com/WajqfKxsQK
23 March 2022 : the next time someone asks me how new york is working out for me i’m just going to show them this photopic.twitter.com/0NzOEOtk71
23 March 2022 : @madeline_starr shrek
23 March 2022 : we love to experience
23 March 2022 : another claudia experience
23 March 2022 : the multitides........
23 March 2022 : was the woman named claudia because i just bought one in my post-arcade-fire-secret-show mania (which is also what's put me in the arcade fire search)
23 March 2022 : made me laugh real hard; this video is a good look at how the funeral songs are faring in 2022:https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1506358288451002379 …
23 March 2022 : band with like ten members called Full House
23 March 2022 : the arcade fire secret shows and afterparty have taken my desire to go out dancing from "really want to" to "if i don't i'll die"
23 March 2022 : objectively very good sweater???
23 March 2022 : if we go one concert without me later getting "heeeey i think i saw you at" messages on dating apps or instagram i'll buy the whole class pizza
23 March 2022 : happy birthday!
23 March 2022 : I Got My Apple Watch Stolen At Arcade Fire's Afterparty And I Wasn't Even Drunk Just High On Life
23 March 2022 : oh no
23 March 2022 : you ever have such a good weekend that you and new friends you met within that timeframe are going to get tattoos about it
23 March 2022 : i think i know the exact moment i lost my (since miraculously located) fitness wrist device at the bowery during arcade fire's afterparty and it WAS while the dj played La Negra Tiene Tumbao
23 March 2022 : which, yes, me, specifically, dancing to this song feet away from one of my favorite bands IS cuban rights
24 March 2022 : arcade fire overtook *** ******** ***** as my favorite band this weekend and they were already losing ground to talking heads ,,, who am i anymore
24 March 2022 : it will never stop being funny watching people find out about my [redacted] professional and performance past
24 March 2022 : i refuse to write it out here just go watch my instagram story okay
24 March 2022 : RT @dimwizzy : The only reasonable response to the tour discourse is socialism.
24 March 2022 : this is so cool holy shit
24 March 2022 : RT @nowah : the never really listening to arcade fire to getting really into arcade fire because of @claudiaposting pipeline
24 March 2022 : i am invoicing win butler for my marketing services as we speak
24 March 2022 : the world has been handing me so much wild childhood and teenage (and adult) wish fulfillment lately that surely a weakerthans reunion is just around the corner
24 March 2022 : doing my "i'm going to get in to the yard act show tonight" affirmations
24 March 2022 : yeah
24 March 2022 : @EvanOutOfTen evan did you suspend me from the facebook group for doing a gif bit because that is the second funniest thing to happen to me today thank you for your leadership
24 March 2022 : this is so fucking funny especially in the context of ADMIN POLL ENTRAPMENT i applaud you
24 March 2022 : can’t believe h**** p***** was invented fifteen years ago today when potter puppet pals uploaded mysterious ticking noise to youtube
24 March 2022 : objectively funny that for the rest of my life i can say i “technically” performed on the bell house and black cat staged and by “performed” what i mean is “held and shook puppets while my friend did funny voices”
24 March 2022 : if you watch the ten year anniversary video you can see the most-viewed documentation of my arms when they were still blank flesh cylindershttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z09rvN3s9Kg …
24 March 2022 : not vocal about this time in my life anymore because i do not have the energy to give my "fuck j.k. rowling" ted talk every single time but if you met me in the past few years you never got to see me drunk out of my mind on work trips surrounded by snape cosplayers at 3am etc
24 March 2022 : anyway it's on sight for j.k. rowling
24 March 2022 : today someone asked me “why are there always new facts about you” and damn so true
24 March 2022 : why ARE there always new facts about me
24 March 2022 : what better way to follow up arcade fire surprise show weekend than with lcd soundsystem surprise show weekend. if anyone wants to throw me in a locker my address is
24 March 2022 : ASHLEY IS ABSOLUTELY A MAIN CHARACTER RC
25 March 2022 : what in the entire fuck does this meanpic.twitter.com/hzD7365KxW
25 March 2022 : simply can’t listen to so hot you’re hurting my feelings because then it becomes the only song i can listen to for months
25 March 2022 : every band should have a jumpsuit era
25 March 2022 : No Bad Dates 2022
25 March 2022 : the pandemic was a conspiracy to make me forget i really enjoy lipstick
25 March 2022 : thinking about the apple store employee yesterday who described himself to me as "a former emo" when we were just talking about devices
25 March 2022 : are these just the confessions i inspire
25 March 2022 : if imessage tells you i have do not disturb on during the day it is never anything scandalous or professional i am napping it is always that i am napping
25 March 2022 : if i respond to you while i have do not disturb on it is a reflection of both me being a nap failure and you being important 2 me
26 March 2022 : very exciting friday night (can't go out but i had a crunchwrap supreme for the first time in my life)
26 March 2022 : i can’t go out because 2000s pitchfork darlings arcade fire got me sick, 0.0 rating
26 March 2022 : Arcade Fire Gave Me The Common Cold
26 March 2022 : isn’t it the best fucking thing
26 March 2022 : what is the name for the syndrome where you don’t think you’re the main character but all your friends do
26 March 2022 : what
26 March 2022 : oh no what the fuck
26 March 2022 : if you never found at least some joy in foo fighters we are fundamentally different people; one of those bands i listened to so much and so adoringly while growing up that i think they’re burned into my dna now
26 March 2022 : ive always been a crunchy taco or shredded chicken burrito (r.i.p.) girl!
26 March 2022 : i named my purple ipod nano everlong which in retrospect makes no sense but
26 March 2022 : my entire week has been leading to this burrito
26 March 2022 : this is the same burrito i got delivered to me from electric burrito while i was in the arcade fire line one week ago today when i realized i hadn’t eaten anything all day and doors were in thirty minutes and i ate it too dang fast and now i am avenging it
26 March 2022 : you can hear many combinations of words in washington square park on a saturday
26 March 2022 : do not remember ordering this body glitter
26 March 2022 : hell and yeah
26 March 2022 : i extremely don’t have covid and have set a personal test record this week, i got my sniffles to go away by sheer will, i’m about to be the sparkliest bitch at the thirty minute lcd soundsystem set,
26 March 2022 : i have thirty minutes left of my walk to the gig to workshop a joke involving the song new york i love you but you’re bringing me down and the fact that the venue is called the knockdown center
27 March 2022 : lmao everyone from the surprise arcade fire shows last weekend is at the surprise lcd soundsystem show tonight let’s fuckin GO
27 March 2022 : cosmic reparations for What I’ve Been Put Through
27 March 2022 : lcd soundsystem coming onstage to running up that hill (a deal with god) i am ascending
27 March 2022 : what kind of night is it about to be when it OPENS with lcd soundsystem original lineup
27 March 2022 : Oh No The Acquaintance I Am At The LCD Soundsystem Show With Just Told Me She’s A Moderate
27 March 2022 : why would you do this to me in the middle of a fleetwood mac dance remix
27 March 2022 : time to speed run making friends at the gig
27 March 2022 : at the dfa/lcd twentieth anniversary party i almost got kicked out of a room called: texas
27 March 2022 : turns out i love going out dancing! go out dancing with me! if you don't tell me you "just want to meet a guy who loves mitt romney" in the middle of a post-lcd-soundsystem dj set you won't be the worst person i go out dancing with!
27 March 2022 : men on the apps get so mad at me when i don't respond to their (bad) messages within minutes??? like??? is the main quality you seek in dating prospects "has so little going on in her life that even on a weekend she'll message back within seconds" anyway i deleted tinder again
27 March 2022 : if you want to date me you'll have to find me in the right park at the right time and say the right password just l… https://t.co/8fjsI1d2K1
27 March 2022 : someone please get peter a caprisunpic.twitter.com/ODc3QEFlxE
27 March 2022 : clipboard at midnight in a hotel lobby at l******n
27 March 2022 : ?! ?!
27 March 2022 : oh my god i hadn't noticed the 5:16am timestamp
27 March 2022 : no on all levels
28 March 2022 : i love them and you!!! look at them snoozin completely unaware of how hard they’ve lucked out in the moms department
28 March 2022 : how is every new photo CUTER
28 March 2022 : how do people turning the will smith moment into a "this is an attack on free speech" thing feel about being both wrong and insufferable
28 March 2022 : hell yeah
28 March 2022 : congratulations to you specifically and also to will
28 March 2022 : in light of very recent events this is a victory not just for will smith but for the sanctity of the finding out that comes after fucking around
28 March 2022 : weird that will smith didn't thank me for that time i rode the men in black ride at universal ten times in one day ?
28 March 2022 : fucking thank you for this whole thread i feel like i'm taking crazy pillS
28 March 2022 : i see we're doing no nuance november early this year
28 March 2022 : someone should get decked every oscars like sliming at nickelodeon
28 March 2022 : congratulations on reprising your role as "that one kid in every social studies class who incorrectly cited free speech protection as a reason you should be able to say the absolute dumbest shit and throw a slur in there for kicks without anyone hurting your feelings or face"
28 March 2022 : lmao "out of control"
28 March 2022 : i have never been so devastated and relieved to not be at a bar for the oscars
28 March 2022 : award for best talk shit get hit
28 March 2022 : you are smarter than me
28 March 2022 : there are the earnest "no violence ever" takes i disagree with but understand and then there are the people who have clearly been sitting around just waiting for an excuse to be racist out loud without repercussion
28 March 2022 : it's about to be a banner week for my smith family The Smiths bootleg shirt(s)
28 March 2022 : i already know this is a bad tweet but i mean it when i say that the venn diagram of people doing some pearl clutching tonight and the people who tried to shame the left into voting for elizabeth warren over bernie because he was "too loud and angry" is: a circle
28 March 2022 : i say this not to in any way put these experiences on the same level but my umbrage about the pear-clutching going on is informed by the deep exhaustion over spending most of my life hiding my justified anger because of the way that anger was received and punished as a latina :)
28 March 2022 : dating app where you can sort people by their takes on the slap
28 March 2022 : "speech"
28 March 2022 : one perfect shot but it's
28 March 2022 : all this over why?'s second studio album
28 March 2022 : can't stop reading "he could have killed him" in the "and they were roommates" voice/cadence every time i get to see this again
28 March 2022 : truly once in every other blue moon but not even because i care about the quality i just don't think it's important unless i like. spilled soft serve on them again
28 March 2022 : my girl 2: he could have killed himhttps://twitter.com/nomchompsky/status/1508289893574881285 …
28 March 2022 : yeah
28 March 2022 : “he could have killed him” is extreme “i fear for my life when i’m in a part of town where there’s no whole foods” energy
28 March 2022 : good take
28 March 2022 : RT @jaden : And That’s How We Do It
28 March 2022 : EVAN
28 March 2022 : honestly most entertaining way to find out half of you were only pretending to read the things you were retweeting two summers ago
28 March 2022 : when he said “you may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension” tesla was talking about tweets
28 March 2022 : okay we all had some fun but now it’s time to focus on the real issue: david byrne’s american utopia is closing this week and i’m doing emotions about it
28 March 2022 : just thinking about how the “he could have killed him” people would cope experiencing one (1) day in any given miami middle school
28 March 2022 : will smith did less damage to chris rock than the seventh grade girl i personally watched punch out 6’3” assistant principal dr. canales at jorge mas canosa middle school in west kendall during lunch on a tuesday wearing a polo
28 March 2022 : the real question we should asking ourseles is: what should claudia get for lunch what should i get for lunch
28 March 2022 : my routine was disrupted so dramatically by 2000s indie darlings that i haven't done groceries in weeks and it has put me face to face with my inability to make trivial decisions
28 March 2022 : i don't have the ingredients for anything but microwave mac and cheese which is why i'm in takeout deliberation mode
28 March 2022 : RT @ikarlymarx : “yt people tweeting “violence is never the answer” when they just called the police on the homeless people down their street three times last week”"
28 March 2022 : if you think i'm kidding i'm not fucking kiddingpic.twitter.com/KPzlV1UV7r
28 March 2022 : he was trying to stop a bigger fight of unknown cause in the cafetorium
28 March 2022 : WHAT
28 March 2022 : after this week i can't just end up at american utopia with little to no effort or expense every few weeks? i can't stumble into two hours of davie burn affirming every stubborn ideal i've always had about how to live in and engage w/ the world??? this is the real violence folks!
28 March 2022 : worried that this sunday will be the last time i ever personally see david byrne say fuck
28 March 2022 : have you heard the mouth moods remix where it's "you don't wanna see my hand where my hand be at"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiysKaxVYEs …
28 March 2022 : if we don't have an oral-history-style account of every major afterparty by end of day journalism is dead
28 March 2022 : thinking about the mix cd i made in high school that was just all pitchfork darling indie songs and then the men in black theme
28 March 2022 : to this day i am devastated that i can’t find any trace of the clip some tv production kid from my high school got of will smith saying “peace and love to the varela vipers” that got played during our morning announcements’ intro reel every school day for years and years
28 March 2022 : respectfully,
28 March 2022 : at my time of greatest need i have realized i live in a bubble tea desert
28 March 2022 : i needed the orange line to do like anything at all when i lived in winter hill, fuckin oof; so much for my short-lived envy re: having left just months before the green line expansion finally hit
28 March 2022 : i am so sad about american utopia closing don’t look at me
28 March 2022 : i’m seeing it for the sixth and seven time this week…. …. also the LAST
29 March 2022 : i straight up tumbleweed brain forgot the name of the town my worst ex lived in and had to do google gymnastics to find it siri play i forgot that you existed by taylor swift
29 March 2022 : in an accountability process (i'm cleaning my room and looked under my bed for the first time in a while and it has caused me to evaluate my habits and lifestyle)
29 March 2022 : GOT IT IN ONE BABY but also :(
29 March 2022 : can’t stop bulk ordering microwaveable mackened cheese
29 March 2022 : having photographer friends is tinder nepotism
29 March 2022 : suddenly i am seeing car seat headrest tonight
29 March 2022 : and then i am seeing my cool and dear friend for the first time in FIVE? YEARS? and then we are seeing david byrne. good three-day-run at claudia headquarters
29 March 2022 : oh my god i've been mispronouncing hochul this whole time
29 March 2022 : the written word doing me dirty once again
29 March 2022 : the message i keep getting vs how i looked at the arcade fire showspic.twitter.com/cLWJRPVKLX
29 March 2022 : this may have actually been me at my least sweaty
29 March 2022 : cute thing not on the car seat setlist this tour as a mercy to me personally
29 March 2022 : honestly a scam that i still have english language trip-ups because it's my second language but my first language mastery has degraded so much that i sound like i'm still riding the power trip of getting a b+ in high school spanish
29 March 2022 : !!!!! YAY
29 March 2022 : we have to go to a show together again soooon
29 March 2022 : oh no
30 March 2022 : he’s also unreal not live but i am losing my mind at brooklyn steel right now
30 March 2022 : how is the barricade life treating u lizz and i just found a person’s id debit card and hotel key back here
30 March 2022 : godspeed
30 March 2022 : RT @ET_nocontext : pic.twitter.com/MhIbupktl1
30 March 2022 : car seat headrest show smells like beef jerky
30 March 2022 : i’ve been in many many mosh pits during many many lyrics in my time but perhaps none more appropriate and certainly none more cathartic to be pushed around to than “DON’T YOU REALIZE PUR BODIES COULD FALL APART ANY SECOND” at the car seat headrest show
30 March 2022 : we’re an hour in and will toledo is still in his little fursuit i’m calling an uber that republican man was right about furries
30 March 2022 : this was a joke! i was in the pit the whole time! i liked the fursona! i’m an intersectional feminist which means i support furries!!!
30 March 2022 : indragged @LizzMangan in with me not realizing she’d never been in a pit before and it was: perfect
30 March 2022 : when the downvote tweets feature finally rolls out to me i’m going to come back and find this reply just to hit it with that
30 March 2022 : we’re back at claudia morales happy hour (10am) with the (draft) beer and a (selfie) shot specialpic.twitter.com/WlVhWk2qty
30 March 2022 : a lot happening in this search https://twitter.com/search?q=%40claudiaposting%20draft&src=typed_query&f=live …
30 March 2022 : i have questions about the building nextdoor that was empty all year, became a test site at the exact point during the omicron wave where everyone had either just been tested or given up, never had a soul inside, then shut down + boarded up + left a meat loaf record in the windowpic.twitter.com/3vTtJJAuhl
30 March 2022 : truly never know what my body actually looks like which means that i only realized i've dropped some pounds when my skirt started FALLING DOWN IN THE PIT last night and i had to turn my fanny pack into a belt like priests with their ropes
31 March 2022 : you have to tell me your secret takes!!! you have to
31 March 2022 : man oh man seeing a friend for the first time in five years can really unlock a whole part of your brain and heart!!!
31 March 2022 : i know this game very well + i hope it passes soon !
31 March 2022 : @TixDog WAIT IS THIS WHAT THAT TEXT WAS ABOUT CHRIS DO IT
31 March 2022 : will i ever sleep again
31 March 2022 : this is my superbowl
31 March 2022 : when i get too excited my gift-giving strategy just becomes an assortment of things ,,, an i-think-of-you-often bouquet ,,,
31 March 2022 : thinking abt: making people playlists full of songs that sound like they make you feel / getting people gifts that make them feel known / showing people art that reminds you of them / curation as a love language
31 March 2022 : valerie visiting has unlocked so many memories from deep in my brain........ .. in 2016 when i couldn't see smash mouth perform in minneapolis because i was already booked to read a poem about smash mouth across town that night.........
31 March 2022 : the time like two dozen of us were in a hotel room in the middle of the night and vandalized a big sign we stole from the wealth summit also happening at that hotel and mailed it to [person who is now a tiktok sensation redacted]
31 March 2022 : if you didn't know me before like idk 2019 you missed out on an entire claudia. you never saw me drunk out of my mind in a hotel lobby in like texas probably, surrounded by sn*pe cosplayers, at 3am, the adjacent zumba convention doing impromptu usher zumba, while on a work trip
31 March 2022 : i am, as usual, not fucking kiddingpic.twitter.com/wthT6YiplB
31 March 2022 : i love to contain multitudes
31 March 2022 : you could go to the NYPL main branch which is cool to walk around in and also quiet !!! i have done that on visits
31 March 2022 : i can't believe i'm seeing AU twice in the next four days but NOT the day you're going
31 March 2022 : tonight and sunday's closing show!
31 March 2022 : is my brain working today? no , but do i need a brain to see david byrne tonight? also no
31 March 2022 : yes i know this was actually in orlando but emotionally it was the texas one
31 March 2022 : i can't believe how much of my life i spent thinking i don't fuckign rule. i fuckin rule
31 March 2022 : what a joy to be sharing david byrne's america utopia with my dear friend and ALSO my GIANT ZIT
31 March 2022 : fit is good thoughpic.twitter.com/8z7eTP3BhT
1 April 2022 : your phone will be like “look at this nice memory” and the memory will be you having a crisis on the sinclair rooftop during glitterboyspic.twitter.com/Z09AiI9W0w
1 April 2022 : i was doing some investigating to figure out when i'd last seen @valerie2776 in person and not only did i have to reckon with the realization that that conference was five entire years ago i had to unsuppress the memory of this presentation i APPARENTLY gavepic.twitter.com/oj2OCxPhQj
1 April 2022 : hell yes i am listening
1 April 2022 : yes i was talking about smash mouth eat the eggs 2012
1 April 2022 : oh no
1 April 2022 : i told @chris_conqueso i’m trying to swing by boston before june and he sent me an extensive, color-coded spreadsheet of all his plans through the month of may and i have never been more impressed
1 April 2022 : from now on everyone needs to respond to anything i send them with a related spreadsheet. thanks
1 April 2022 : took the train into manhattan across the williamsburg bridge so i could walk back into brooklyn across the manhattan bridge to get to a book release; we call that the claudia switcheroo
1 April 2022 : me two hours deep into talking about forgotten early youtube era internet history: "wait, do you remember that really old guy? who vlogged? sometimes he wore a hat? and then he had a bad opinion?"
1 April 2022 : new pup
1 April 2022 : i have been awake thirty minutes and have gotten Fooled three times
1 April 2022 : yes
1 April 2022 : thinking about what david byrne says in american utopia about who we are existing in the connections we make with other people and also about how many people from different, improbable, wonderful corners of my life i've been able to see this fuckiGn perfect show with
2 April 2022 : WHAT
2 April 2022 : that's my cool friend !!
2 April 2022 : my body has betrayed me and i am stuck in bed on a friday night follow my boring instagram it's not related to the first part of this tweet i am just doing advertisement http://instagram.com/claudia.jpegs
2 April 2022 : i have found time and time again that: people luv 2 project
2 April 2022 : same, i already had to keep myself from ordering ten orders of hashbrowns, that's all i can take,
2 April 2022 : slept for eleven hours straight and woke up with newfound clarity about needing an iron supplement who want me
2 April 2022 : i have to start a three-month iron regimen Anyway so i'm about to be so powerful
2 April 2022 : all i'm going to do today is walk around and put my life back together, dm/text me music i should listen to please (i am on replies strike)
2 April 2022 : i would be even more gratified by the new rhcp honestly being enjoyable if i had followed through on my preteen pledge to get the logo tattooed on my body
2 April 2022 : what did i think purple stain was about in seventh grade
2 April 2022 : you're not tipping the service workers whose jobs you couldn't do without having a cute lil breakdown enough ever and especially not now
2 April 2022 : i am going to make us varsity jackets that say, like, Late Bloomers Secret Society
2 April 2022 : overcaffeinated! at the laundromat
2 April 2022 : dragging myself out of this depressive episode kicking and screaming
2 April 2022 : i can see my floor again please clap
2 April 2022 : NOOOO ugh i’m so sorry :(
3 April 2022 : messing up the gift wrap is actually genius because it’s only uphill from there
3 April 2022 : people whose opinions i care about luv me and people i don’t like/respect hate or resent me . interesting
3 April 2022 : on the sidewalk i made extended eye contact with the barista from the coffee shop i haven’t visited in months on the one day i’m stomping around with a giant dunx iced coffee ,,, i’m sorry espresso guy ,,, you can take the girl out of boston etc.
3 April 2022 : i have to go see the last performance of david byrne's american utopia maybe ever in broad-ass daylight and then go to a silly podcast boy event ....... the whiplash .......
3 April 2022 : i would describe my giftwrapping as "it looks like a five-year-old did this but with encouraging parental guidance"
3 April 2022 : RT @er0b : I am the Joan Didion of jackbox games
3 April 2022 : okay! fine! maybe i do love the passing of time!
3 April 2022 : delicate is an absolute all-time taylor swift song i’m so tired of reputation erasure in this society
3 April 2022 : date idea i make you sit through a powerpoint presentation about the history behind each of my tattoos and there IS a quiz at the end
3 April 2022 : boston please catch this perfect fucking lineup because i tragically cannot. thankshttps://twitter.com/day__glow/status/1510282814838685696 …
3 April 2022 : in honor of @er0b’s birthday and the third day of erin’s annual drafts event here’s the last day of my draftspic.twitter.com/KbqUPYr6Nq
3 April 2022 : a pioneer, a visionary,
3 April 2022 : crying about tarot in a midtown chipotle
4 April 2022 : okay “the one day” is clearly a lie
4 April 2022 : this is an @er0b expectation set tweet
4 April 2022 : always humbling when you find out a podcaster is hot
4 April 2022 : this is embarrassingly about a comedy man, all non men and non comedy podcasters are automatically hot,
4 April 2022 : first time at the bell house that in no way involved me crying in the green room
4 April 2022 : walking home from bed-stuy and what i thought was the usual crowd outside of birdy’s was actually a developing arson situation at that place nextdoor??? who commits arson on a sunday night
4 April 2022 : rash — i can never remember the name
4 April 2022 : it sounds like no one was seriously injured from what people looking on had gathered; so scary though
4 April 2022 : can confirm
4 April 2022 : last ever american utopia at 3PM / first time back at the bell house since 2018 at 8PM pic.twitter.com/2iElUHyHzd
4 April 2022 : after every small task i complete i mentally pat myself on the back by saying "that was very neurotypical of me"
4 April 2022 : strong contender for the funniest thing i've ever done is keeping my mouth shut about a man's gross transgressions in an act of grace he didn't deserve for years and then finally going on an unhinged rant about it during my last hours living in boston at — you guessed it — Cheers
4 April 2022 : if you want me to get messy about anything just take me to a highly themed novelty dining experience
4 April 2022 : let's fuckin GOOOO
4 April 2022 : this was how it went in miami, too, even if you said "coca-cola" which was what we tended to say in spanish
4 April 2022 : lip product that makes it look like i just drank red gatorade all of the time
4 April 2022 : why is bandcamp snitching on me in this way (buy death cab for cheugy, @fkamikenevin’s very good dcfc covers: https://theaux.bandcamp.com/album/death-cab-for-cheugy …)pic.twitter.com/hQJkQ7h2hp
4 April 2022 : NOOOOO
4 April 2022 : despite all appearances i was stone cold sober babyyyhttps://twitter.com/parshally_there/status/1511110710759243776 …
4 April 2022 : this was such a good night
5 April 2022 : if i were carly rae jepsen i would regret inventing emotions
5 April 2022 : i'm having a long difficult scary day which MEANS i can have peanut butter CUPS for DINNER
5 April 2022 : at 10:53pm
5 April 2022 : today my dear friend had to tell me that when i'm talking about a furry costume anthropological deep dive i can't call it a "fursuit rabbit hole"
5 April 2022 : is my more powerful arm the one with a taylor swift tattoo and the wonder years tattoo or the one with a taylor swift tattoo and a jimmy buffett tattoo
5 April 2022 : thinking about this photo of my mom holding hands with michelangelopic.twitter.com/zgLdAFPAxy
5 April 2022 : joyce manor
5 April 2022 : oh my god
5 April 2022 : i've always had suspicions...
6 April 2022 : my mom just cycled through my sister's name, my aunt's name, and my other aunt's name on the phone before landing on mine while addressing me my mom and i have the same name
6 April 2022 : can you diy a tonsilectomy
6 April 2022 : i'm not hearing a no here
6 April 2022 : i agree
6 April 2022 : apparently i had one (1) hobby when i lived in honduras and it was beating up barneypic.twitter.com/vq28dML4RH
6 April 2022 : i love finding absurdly melodramatic playlists and being like "who did i even make this about"
6 April 2022 : or gatekeeping new england from me
6 April 2022 : unforgivable take
6 April 2022 : my scientific metric is "all my friends are getting it"
6 April 2022 : nooooo
6 April 2022 : cptsd is funny as hell because 40% of the time i enter a bad scary situation my body's like "okay time to be incapable of anything but sleep" like my brain is really trying to yall-hear-sumn its way out of this week
6 April 2022 : hardcovers are bad, dog-earing is goodhttps://twitter.com/cursedhive/status/1511760047973584902 …
6 April 2022 : pristine books are boring i want to know what you annotate and how and why
6 April 2022 : i mean this in the best, most admiring way but this does not surprise me
6 April 2022 : i almost quoted exactly that hahaha
6 April 2022 : this but for how the people who say "i do not dream of labor" are always the ones who have never actually had to Work
6 April 2022 : life is just a thousand tiny joker origin stories when you think about it
6 April 2022 : apparently i had one (1) hobby when i lived in honduras and it was beating up barneypic.twitter.com/vq28dML4RH
7 April 2022 : three hours ago i could not physically stay awake any longer and just woke up to see this, i think my body knew,https://twitter.com/carlyraejepsen/status/1511834013392158720 …
7 April 2022 : i needed to prepare. biologically
7 April 2022 : happy birthday ivan’s mom!!!
7 April 2022 : is this splash mountain merchhttps://twitter.com/attemptopenness/status/1510670462208167940 …
7 April 2022 : what does this person think optional means
9 April 2022 : had a scary week ending in worst case scenario news today and all i got was a "my siblings and i are finally acknowledging our collective trauma in the face of mortality"
9 April 2022 : also the news-breaking facetime call somehow turned into a roast and me doing a "i have fifteen tattoos" reveal
9 April 2022 : today was one of the worst days of my adult life so tomorrow i will buy a brownie
9 April 2022 : google search for best takeout and park combination in manhattan when you are having one of the worst weeks of your adult life
9 April 2022 : i feel like a lot of people who follow me have done public crying in new york so if you have any recommendations this is not a bit
9 April 2022 : inside of me there are two wolves, one knows i need a nourishing meal after the last week, the other survives exclusively off of potatoes,
9 April 2022 : like david byrne before you,
9 April 2022 : if you think i overshare on social media last night my mom soft-launched her cancer diagnosis on instagram with coldplay songs playing over the stories
9 April 2022 : rest in peas
9 April 2022 : when i asked her if anyone at work knew she was like “oh yeah all of t*they knows” and in that moment i realized my can’t keep my mouth shut disease is hereditary
10 April 2022 : birdy’s has seen every version of me
10 April 2022 : my sister keeps referring to my mom having leukemia as "taking an L"
10 April 2022 : honestly we have all been very funny about this, including my mom
10 April 2022 : the nurse asked my mom which finger she wanted the oximeter on and in all her newly cancerous frailty she said "this one" and flipped him off
10 April 2022 : union square is the least dignified place to cry it feels like i’m crying in boston again
10 April 2022 : okay and to top it off i just walked into a starbucks and they’re playing vintage one direction. humiliating
10 April 2022 : she really really is
10 April 2022 : going claudia mode (drinking a topo chico at the hardcore gig and using my fanny pack as a cup holder between sips)
11 April 2022 : one like = one “you could look worse for someone having the most devastating week of her life, claudia”pic.twitter.com/0DFbFJOL9i
11 April 2022 : the last band last night featured a red sox hat and a have heart shirt to i woke up with an uncontrollable urge to go to dunkies pipeline
11 April 2022 : i had a nightmare that all my teeth broke while at an arcade fire show glad our psyches are thriving
11 April 2022 : "p.s. they're not skate shoes. They are Y-3s. fuck you" is the scene's very own "I wasn’t wearing Louboutins, I was wearing little brown kitten heels, fucking bitch!" moment at long last amen
11 April 2022 : yes finally getting back to cooking all (or any) of my meals again would probably help with my mental health situation in the face of all this but how am i supposed to do that when all the bell peppers are bad
11 April 2022 : if you even think of suggesting i cook things that don't involve bell peppers it's antilatinidad
12 April 2022 : my mom’s hospitalization has turned me into my own worst enemy (person on facetime in public)
12 April 2022 : lady at sephora laughed at me because i was on the phone saying “i look like A CLOWN” after hitting the testers too hardpic.twitter.com/Jpfog4sVz8
12 April 2022 : i will NEVER call it d*nkin and that's the claudia promise
12 April 2022 : yup (nowhere near it, staying the fuck home today, but so sad and scared)
12 April 2022 : you know know that i think about it how simple my heart can be DOES frighten me
12 April 2022 : good day to live in america where mass shootings happen and aren't prevented but instead used to promote a police state and my mom's insurance doesn't cover ambulances so she's being transported between hospitals by a guy who [checks notes] is pushing eighty and needs eye surgery
12 April 2022 : i will go to nice fest in somerville but only if i get a really good disguise together. i need to be absolutely unrecognizable at the gig
12 April 2022 : only now willing myself to go through weeks of mail and i am electing to interpret this @mirandareinert envelope encouragement as a threat (buy miranda’s zines they’re so good)pic.twitter.com/sQA6FFJSBX
12 April 2022 : i am going to finish my zines
13 April 2022 : i had my work phone and personal phone at either side of me and got a surround-sound jumpscare
13 April 2022 : my mom says she has given her leukemia a name but refuses to tell us what it is ???
14 April 2022 : my mom has named her leukemia "lelekey"
14 April 2022 : just bought a $20 sandwich from someone wearing this on a t-shirt
14 April 2022 : unfortunately it’s good
14 April 2022 : i was just thinking this, i’m at the park and absolutely miserable
14 April 2022 : covered in parmesan cheese at the park who want me
15 April 2022 : this is so fuckin good !!!
15 April 2022 : my mom starts chemo tonight and when i was asking her to show me headscarves i could order her she said "i want the most dramatic ones possible"
18 April 2022 : i am at my most powerful when i deep clean so deep i use q-tips as cleaning tools
18 April 2022 : yooo congrats, Anna!
19 April 2022 : i got my mom an hbo membership so she can do what she calls "the batman challenge" which she says is when you try to watch all three hours of batman before chemo makes you fall asleep
19 April 2022 : she's truly the coolest
19 April 2022 : kenny if you don’t know how percentages work just say that
19 April 2022 : you can use mine!!
20 April 2022 : really out here in the united states of america reading one of gofundme's many "tips for your cancer fundraiser" SEO-oriented articles
20 April 2022 : where is the article for "how to deal with your mom inevitably being livid about whichever photo of her you end up using"
20 April 2022 : i am trying to find a photo of her at the hospital (where she lives now) but all i have is,,, ,pic.twitter.com/uk1GB3cOgm
20 April 2022 : my mom is just. the best
20 April 2022 : they played this at the last ny secret show encore and told us we were the first ones to hear it and not to record it or say anything and then went on to play, like, a song made Specifically For My Heart
20 April 2022 : seeing this live at the fourth/final tiny secret show at the bowery, right after Wake Up, and win telling us we were the first ones to hear this song, asking us to keep it a secret, then going into this impossibly heartfelt song is a forever kind of memoryhttps://youtu.be/RbaI19hyGtE
20 April 2022 : listen arcade fire fucking rules and their brand of earnest optimism not in denial of darkness but in the face of it is after my own dang heart and this song at the end of those shows at the end of the last "long coupl'a fuckin years" as win says in the video was! a balm! a gift!
20 April 2022 : also while i'm here win was genuinely kind and cool to my friends and i at several non-show points throughout that weekend at moments he extremely didn't have to be and i truly think people just think he's an asshole because, like me, he's a big tall weirdo
20 April 2022 : mama c went and discovered cancer AND filters in the same week
20 April 2022 : today (yes, today, 4/20) is my mom's birthday; she's spending it on day six of chemo, day twenty-one of an indefinite hospital stay that began in the icu and led to a cancer diagnosis. as a working class immigrant family, any help will make a huge impact:https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-claudia-conquer-cancer …
20 April 2022 : (my mom and i have the same name because latinx families are Like That sometimes; i'm the "organized by" claudia, not the one with cancer)
20 April 2022 : i wrote the big ol gofundme guy if you'd like to learn more about my mom, who: immigrated here from honduras when i was five and has never been able to return, has supported our family on retail wages, is so truly good that every word about her sounds like hyperbole but never is
20 April 2022 : what i don't talk about there is how my mom's kindness, generosity, ferocity, humor, zeal, gratitude, optimism have all persisted through decades of harrowing abuse — the same reason i left miami, the same reason i haven't seen her in years — alongside everything else she's faced
20 April 2022 : it is only recently that my family has started to scrape above the poverty line; because of The Way Things Are, this devastating situation is made scarier by the costs involved. we've already run into setbacks and indignities because we can't afford cancer.
20 April 2022 : when the was being transferred from her first hospital to one with a dedicated oncology dept, she had to spend eight hours in an er waiting room w/o insulin for her diabetes or monitoring for her dangerously low blood counts, all bc we couldn't afford ambulance transportation.
20 April 2022 : she was hesitant to go into the er in the first place when her debilitating symptoms were still of unknown origin because missing a day of retail work can mean choosing between a mortgage payment and a week of groceries. this is the way it's always been for us.
20 April 2022 : ERIN
20 April 2022 : RT @er0b : Claudia is one of the kindest people I know! I am sure her mom had a hand in making her the kind person she is today—please help her mom during this difficult time if you can.https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1516790665660682241 …
20 April 2022 : @TonksNtheAurors thank you so much, steph 💗💗💗 deeply grateful for you.
20 April 2022 : CHAD thank you so much, you’re the best
20 April 2022 : my mom has now seen the gofundme and naturally her reaction is “this is just like in mario” https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-claudia-conquer-cancer …pic.twitter.com/yKaCszoEA8
20 April 2022 : thank you so much, meg
20 April 2022 : lindsay if you make me cry ONE more time,,,
20 April 2022 : RT @itfeelslikegold : Claudia is one of the best people I know, so generous and kind and a joy to be around. These qualities are clearly reflected in her mom. Please do what you can to help this wonderful family! https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-claudia-conquer-cancer …https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1516790665660682241 …
20 April 2022 : sahitya!!! thank you so, so much, i can't tell you how much this means
21 April 2022 : thank you so, so much Lauren; i love you
21 April 2022 : RT @laurenfairwx : One of my best friends is raising money to help with medical expenses for her mom who has cancer. Please take a look if you have the means! I would do anything for @claudiaposting and want so badly for everything to be okay. https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1516790665660682241 …
21 April 2022 : my mom has had a truly wonderful birthday and we are all so moved by and so grateful for the outpouring of support — most of all Original Claudia, who may be the only person who has good-cried more than me today. thank you so, so fucking much.pic.twitter.com/QJXJRZ4PDp
21 April 2022 : i took a few hours offline bc i was so overwhelmed — in a very good, grateful, weepy way — and checked the gofundme just now and burst into tears; if i haven’t thanked you individually yet i’m comin for you but i can’t even begin to explain how much of an impact this has made
21 April 2022 : you’ve donated more today than anyone in my family has ever had in a bank account
21 April 2022 : browser sleep with one eye open bitch
21 April 2022 : when the which-stop-is-next announcements aren’t working on the bus i really just say a little prayer and take my best guess
21 April 2022 : my mom has absolutely no concept of the internet or how many people her children know on it so when i updated her about the gofundme hitting $8,000 (!!!) she said "estoy... asustada"
21 April 2022 : RT @alisousa4 : claudia is one of the most generous, big-hearted, lovable, brilliant people i have ever met — if you have the means, please donate to help her mom fight cancerhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1516790665660682241 …
21 April 2022 : thank you so fucking much ali
21 April 2022 : thank you so much, brad
21 April 2022 : they’re gen z-ing your ass in the siblings group textpic.twitter.com/BXGzdwT3LS
21 April 2022 : impossible to fully articulate this in brief but i am thinking about the isolating nature of abuse and about how hard someone worked to keep my mom and i from friendship/support — to cruel, violent lengths — and about how one! hundred! sixty! people! have donated to help my mom
21 April 2022 : so many of the donations today have come from the little secret worlds my mom and sister and i dug intowhen that someone thought he'd shut off all avenues to connecting with anyone but him; internet friends and retail coworkers and lifeline after lifeline. the abuse didn't win.
21 April 2022 : RT @LiviDol : Please help if you can. My dearest friend Claudia started this incredible page for her mother's upcoming medical expenses. Any amount makes a difference.https://gofund.me/7c4879f2
21 April 2022 :
21 April 2022 : i was facetiming my mom while some nurses were doing chemo prep in the background and i brought up her birds, who she has named after some of her favorite characters, and she said "i miss mr. bean" in this wistful voice and i heard one of the nurses go "... mr.... bean?"
21 April 2022 : i am going to start a class action lawsuit over my extra toasty cheez-its not being toasty enough
21 April 2022 : it's made me so happy seeing your apartment come together!!
21 April 2022 : always always always the people who can painlessly spare an extra couple of bucks in their daily transactions — making a huge difference for service workers — without it impacting them at all who are huge fucking weirdos about it
22 April 2022 : i’m walking to saint vitus but still several blocks away and a guy just passed me on the sidewalk going the other way, looked directly at me, and said “saint vitus” ????? ??
22 April 2022 : thank you so much, meys
22 April 2022 : was it the weirdest coincidence involving him being on the phone using wireless earphones i couldn’t see and saying the name of my destination in between long silences at the exact moment i passed him or am i being profiled
22 April 2022 : true but i was still fifteen minutes away at LEAST so i think it’s also a case of my the-way-that-i-look syndrome
22 April 2022 : i am still thinking about this, it’s going to haunt me forever,
22 April 2022 : i’m yellin this is perfect
22 April 2022 : i love to be recognized for my skillspic.twitter.com/1ZnjlHbxk4
22 April 2022 : AS IT SHOULD BE
23 April 2022 : stomping around midtown with an open wound
23 April 2022 : you ever have a nu york city weekend so good and wild and life-affirming you get a tattoo about it (or: a tattoo about joy n whimsy n zeal and zero-hesitation jumps down the rabbit hole chasing both w/ people you just met and about an @arcadefire song that has not come out yet)pic.twitter.com/Th5Q0aEPQJ
23 April 2022 : the video below is the exact moment i decided to get this tattoo (you can spot me if you try) and when i booked it outside the bowery ballroom waiting for the next show with people i had only met days earlier several of them said they'd get one, too https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1506300864813752331 …
23 April 2022 : (also, bc i am a creature of guilt and bc people have been weird about stuff like this before: i booked/paid long before my mom's hospitalization or cancer diagnosis and forgot about it until a reminder email the day before, too short notice to try to cancel for a partial refund)
23 April 2022 : 🫡
23 April 2022 : this wabbit is age of anxiety ii (rabbit hole) by arcade fire sun, terrible love by the national moon, wonderland by taylor swift rising
23 April 2022 : thank yoU i love him
23 April 2022 : my artist was so accommodating and patient to make it happen in that space and i'm SO thankful
23 April 2022 : every time i update my mom about the gofundme, she's absolutely baffled all over again — the numbers just don't even sound real; for most of her time in america, it would have taken my mom a year of full-time work to make what y'all have given in three days. a year. before taxes.
23 April 2022 : it’s been a minute since my last insufferable drafts/selfie combo but fear notpic.twitter.com/Xj6wpYnrhg
23 April 2022 : JOCELYN DO IT I WILL BE THERE
24 April 2022 : guy outside a bar on manhattan ave very dramatically telling the girl he’s with “i might not have a facebook” ?
24 April 2022 : i am having fuN with my big spring playlist :-)https://open.spotify.com/playlist/62IVr7PbCSAfG97HSrnTab?si=00efc6aa08cc4193 …
24 April 2022 : thankful for the concept of having plans allowing me to completely and blissfully miss the people trying to cancel steve martin event
24 April 2022 : extra pickles til i die
24 April 2022 : had this exact thought this time last night …….
24 April 2022 : girl at sephora described me as “bubblegum goth”
24 April 2022 : feels as good as the time a guy told me i was “margarita goth” and i didn’t even have to go on a bad date to get this one
25 April 2022 : somehow this is the most offended i have ever been by a twitter trend. fuck youpic.twitter.com/kgx35dfvjl
25 April 2022 : omg
25 April 2022 : my right forearm is so cool
25 April 2022 : i can’t believe that a tattoo shop moved into the space literally nextdoor! to my! apartment! only for it to be a fine line one as a fuck you to me specifically
25 April 2022 : RT @badmovesDC : Our Brooklyn show Saturday at @thebroadwaybk is 2/3 sold!! OK actually it's 3/5 sold who's counting? Let's get it to 10/10 OK?? @anothermichaels will rock you @ManekaDevin will rock you The Afterglows will rock you Also, we will, we will rock you : https://www.eventbrite.com/e/277160322987 pic.twitter.com/WfacMxOoVw
25 April 2022 : when he said “you may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension” tesla was talking about tweets
25 April 2022 : follow my instagram i'm not leaving twitter because my brain is broken but follow my instagram anyway http://instagram.com/claudia.jpegs
25 April 2022 : who up arcading they fire
25 April 2022 : :-)
26 April 2022 : contrary to what erica western teleport stipulates i do want you to think of me reading on the L train
26 April 2022 : correct
26 April 2022 : this album is long enough to need to listen to this album to cope with parental abusehttps://twitter.com/yellow_lindsey/status/1519053027314913281 …
26 April 2022 : knocking on every door in my apartment building asking them if they were just playing music because i really like the bass line and want to know what song it is
26 April 2022 : the emoji keyboard shortcut no longer works on my computer and in a way it feels like a mercy killing
27 April 2022 : my cousin works for the cdc and she said it's okay to regress (cry to arcade fire's first studio album)
27 April 2022 : wednesdaypic.twitter.com/wjS46fMtLL
27 April 2022 : should i go to the will butler dj set tonight
27 April 2022 : on one hand it's literally in my neighborhood but on the other hand: i'm sleepy
27 April 2022 : and their commentary there/across the album felt more genuine than anything thematically similar in EN, which i think failed to land in part because it was cynical in a way the band's heart was never in (even though i'm fully an EN apologist post-bowery)
27 April 2022 : my cousin works for the cdc and she said it's okay to regress (cry to arcade fire's first studio album)
27 April 2022 : big agree! totally understand EN reception, especially initially, but i was always a big reflektor head AND it helped me flex in community college mythology units, so
28 April 2022 : microdosing reptilian skin shedding by getting a tattoo
28 April 2022 : the rabbit is peeling and since it's mostly solid black it's wild to behold
28 April 2022 : predictably i too have been obsessed with this song
28 April 2022 : you look so good!!!
29 April 2022 : we did an appreciation exercise at work today (lol) and one thing several people said abt me is that i'm "so positive" which is true but could not happen if we weren't all remote bc everyone takes one look at my tall, tattooed, caveman browed existence and thinks i'm a big grump
29 April 2022 : okay maybe i will do thishttps://twitter.com/aromatasemebro/status/1519675220117884934 …
29 April 2022 : congrats to both you cuties and also your collective perfect swoopy hair
29 April 2022 : SAME exactly; turns out people project on you less when they only see your headshot icon! though i am excited for the possibility of my eventual "i have fifteen tattoos and a septum piercing" reveal
29 April 2022 : granted i think the first person to say it WAS monica who clearly know exactly what i look like and my whole deal but still
29 April 2022 : we're not even mutuals on here but turn off your notifications for my tweetS i swear to god
29 April 2022 : you have been so kind and welcoming to me for someone i met exclusively because i was benefiting from your misfortune and my country's failures (okay i'm sure we would have quickly become friends regardless but still) also thank you for filling me in on all the lore
29 April 2022 : when we first met in an overcrowded orlando hotel room i was like "this very pretty person seems so cool" and i was RIGHT and i am so glad to know you for those reasons and many many others
29 April 2022 : watching you grow up has been a great joy and luck of my life and i have learned so much from you and i was just thinking about the fire and ice touchtunes injustice literally yesterday
29 April 2022 : i wish we'd lived in new york at the same time but running into you minutes after getting off a megabus remains one of my favorite nyc memories even now and i am so fucking thrilled about every single win i see you rack up but never ever surprised
29 April 2022 : i wanted to tell you how good your set and look were at a show you played before i followed you but didn't talk to anyone that night because i was covered in second degree burns and was in so much pain i had to cut myself out of my clothes when i got home anyway you're very cool
29 April 2022 : okay wait i should be making these vaguer that's the whole point right sorry i got excited
29 April 2022 : you are one of the very very few people i have always felt known and seen by and i am so fucking glad we've only grown closer
29 April 2022 : your openness and sincerity in messages we exchanged within like days of becoming mutuals despite being total strangers immediately put you in the "this is a cool and good person" category in my brain
29 April 2022 : i am sorry i ruined boys night and i am glad i know you
29 April 2022 : i can't believe i only recently followed you because your very very funny tweets have been landing on my tl for years; i wish we'd known each other when we lived in the same city; i have decided against a funny part of this tweet that was at someone else's expense
29 April 2022 : everyone loves you and they're right; you make every front row so much better
29 April 2022 : we have seen each other for exactly thirty seconds in the past many years but i am regularly ready to drop kick everyone who has been anything less than so so kind to you
29 April 2022 : i’m going to be real with you i have no idea who you are
29 April 2022 : i was more amused and embarrassed each time
29 April 2022 : i have injured my throat in some way and not an interesting one
29 April 2022 : i would still drop everything if you needed me to even though i am being a huge baby
29 April 2022 : one day i'm going to tell the babies how happy and carefree and loved i felt goofing off with their mom across time zones even when my life was actively falling apart
29 April 2022 : a decade on i'm still regularly moved by how good a person you are and how lucky i am to count you as a friend; a light every time i've most needed one, and it'll stay with me forever
29 April 2022 : one of those coworkers who i was always like "why is this much cooler smarter person even talking to me" about
29 April 2022 : technically my only tinder success story
29 April 2022 : technically not a tinder success story but knowing you is absolutely one of the best things to happen to my life and it makes me laugh every time i remember it was in fact because of tinder
29 April 2022 : technically i owe our friendship to taylor swift
29 April 2022 : the first time i ever heard your name a dozen of my coworkers and our sworn enemies were fighting over you
29 April 2022 : i wish we'd hung out in boston but i was always like "she's so cool and busy" can't wait to remedy this at the sinclair's emo night one day
29 April 2022 : i am returning to this thread when i am in less pain this is not a vaguetweet or a cry for help
29 April 2022 : hell yeah adam
29 April 2022 : FDTs
29 April 2022 : i don’t think tylenol works on me but i’m not supposed to use anything else and i am in too much pain to sleep my body IS a wonderland
29 April 2022 : i can hear the urgent care staff talking about my throat through the door but not well enough to know what’s going on with my throat
29 April 2022 : my excruciating throat pain is: an ear infection
29 April 2022 : should i get to the gig even though i am in so much pain i am actually crying
30 April 2022 : everybody do a little spell for my antibiotics and painkillers and strategic napping to work so that i can still se… https://t.co/843D9V2EIu
30 April 2022 : also everybody go see bad moves at the broadway tonight amen
30 April 2022 : guess i'm playin it by ear!!! haha!!! i have an ear infection
30 April 2022 : the last time i saw this band i took a four hour megabus from boston to brooklyn (two weeks before the pandemic really popped off lol) and now it’s in brooklyn again but this time it’s a seven minute walk from my apartment https://twitter.com/badmovesdc/status/1518620897938231296 …
30 April 2022 : : - (
30 April 2022 : that was also my last time in nu york before literally the day i moved here
30 April 2022 : thank u i think i’m gonna make it AND i was tested for every single virus so i’ll know i’m not carrying the bad germs
1 May 2022 : running late due to an emergency (couldn't find my bootleg carly rae jepsen shirt)
1 May 2022 : googling “alcohol and antibiotics” AFTER ordering my habitual one (1) miller high life
1 May 2022 : okaY i should not have done that
1 May 2022 : “you have to care about service workers to be in this room” -@badmovesDC after their song about tipped labor (listen to Working for Free and tip like you understand the human cost of your convenience or don’t talk to me)
1 May 2022 : have you bought the tickets yet
1 May 2022 : i need to get into meditation so i can remain zen when in proximity to absolute dumbass behavior at shows
1 May 2022 : nor should i have answered the siren call of the pit but here i am, dizzy and dying,
1 May 2022 : voted best dressed ear infection haver at the gig. by mepic.twitter.com/VrLM0vk1g4
1 May 2022 : my eardrum did not rupture, my tights did not rupture, they hate to see a girl boss winning
1 May 2022 : thank youuu it's definitely improving !!
1 May 2022 : i woke up almost all the way better so actually the answer to curing excruciating ailments is to get to the gig drink one miller high life (medicinal) and jump around in the gentle power pop pit (medicinal) for two songs
1 May 2022 : i am anticapitalist until i don't want it at all by kim petras comes on
1 May 2022 : if you are the person who yelled “claudiaaa” on 12th street just now reveal yourself because i absolutely could not tell what direction it was coming from
1 May 2022 : the next person i see saying lookout kid is bad because the lyrics are too simple is getting shoved in a locker
1 May 2022 : the simplicity …….. is the point
1 May 2022 : omg
2 May 2022 : i think there is a direct line from me being intimidated by trigonometry in high school to me being intimidated by eyeshadow now
2 May 2022 : i can’t wait until it is late enough in spring that i can legally listen to constructive summer by the hold steady
2 May 2022 : went to change my pillowcase and a wellbutrin fell out of it no i'm not being topical
2 May 2022 : something so sacred about the first dunkies butter pecan swirl of the season
2 May 2022 : we did it kidspic.twitter.com/wWqrA8S7ci
3 May 2022 : i think i need a new heart by the magnetic fields and i want a new drug by huey lewis and the news are cousins
3 May 2022 : the only thing that has given me any cheer since the news broke is my brain finally registering "jazz two children"
3 May 2022 : GOOD
3 May 2022 : now i have to be like "no this isn't just because of the supreme court thing but it's not helping" when i ask for a sterilization referral tomorrow
3 May 2022 : i was already planning on getting the ball rolling on this literally this week after uhhh fifteen years knowing it's what i want but i didn't expect the timing to be this on the nose! bad writing frankly!
4 May 2022 : do i forego all responsibility to catch Sports Team at the mercury lounge tonight with 10pm doors or
4 May 2022 : i just walked past the venue on my way home from errands and audibly gasped when i saw the sign outside
4 May 2022 : wait it’s not 10pm doors rhwy okay at 10pm which makes this harder to pull off
4 May 2022 : i can’t believe i didn’t know about this what The fuck
4 May 2022 : i Need to see them live i am forever holding out for a reunion
4 May 2022 : horrifying to learn that outside the context of boston people see my harvard book store tote and think i went to the book store’s landlords’ school
4 May 2022 : “what year did you graduate” my brother in duane reade line i dropped out of community college
4 May 2022 : my ekg came back normal, another L for my haters,
5 May 2022 : the body sure does keep the score huh. has anyone looked into this
5 May 2022 : twitter not giving me the close friends feature yet is gatekeeping me from oversharing
5 May 2022 : yeah a couple of my friends have it already
5 May 2022 : looking at my medical record and my primary has me listed as "from boston" what The fuck
5 May 2022 : i'm not even from this country much less A COLONY
5 May 2022 : it's a chronic illness
5 May 2022 : thinking once again of when my friend said "i have never met anyone as haunted by boston as you"
6 May 2022 : me too !
6 May 2022 : perfect tweet
6 May 2022 : the only review of the new arcade fire album that matters is “claudia got a tattoo from it weeks before the album came out and it’s on her body forever”https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1517882974829690882 …
6 May 2022 : yes the original tweet is jacked up and it's because: i can't count
6 May 2022 : the secret third track on the new arcade fire album is Age of Antibiotics Kicking My Ass (the antibiotics are kicking my ass)
6 May 2022 : i have been plagued by this exact thought today also hello from your neighbor in hell
6 May 2022 : okay possibly it's the five (5) iron supplements i'm on
6 May 2022 : new arcade fire, new carly, AND new taylor all in one day? claudia rights
6 May 2022 : i have trust issues from the fact that Wildest Dreams (taylor's version) came out in september and the album still hasn't come ouT but i hope she's not messing around this time
6 May 2022 : okay i am only now listening to the arcade fire album all the way through and i did not expect it to end on a throwback to one of my favorite refrains from the suburbs. fuck you
6 May 2022 : such a good two for one deal that when i learned i’m most comfortable in skirts i also learned i get street harassed the most in skirts
7 May 2022 : perseverance is when it is raining sideways into my face and i am dressed for twenty degrees warmer than it is and i am still going out of my way for dunkies
7 May 2022 : nevertheless she persisted
7 May 2022 : okay perhaps 32 ounces of cold brew with six pumps of butter pecan swirl was't "wise"
7 May 2022 : self portrait as my drafts, self portrait as girl next to sword graffitipic.twitter.com/hUPXh7Lxfr
8 May 2022 : how long until we can be more specific in imessage do not disturb statuses so i can set it to be like “claudia’s brain isn’t working right now please expect a response in 1 to 2 business days” or “claudia is very tired and a baby”
8 May 2022 : currently these are both true sorry to anyone out there trying to Correspond
8 May 2022 : RT @nowah : it’s been a big couple of days for me, the president of the Following @claudiaposting to Getting Really Into Arcade Fire Pipelinepic.twitter.com/acXlg4I1wE
8 May 2022 : noah… i am frAming this
8 May 2022 : unconditional ii is like if sprawl ii were on reflektor instead of the suburbs send tweet
8 May 2022 : can you tell i’m having a wild saturday night
8 May 2022 : it’s called enlightenment, greg
8 May 2022 : BABIES
8 May 2022 : feeling the order of your favorite bands shift is so strange, like your bones are switching places,
8 May 2022 : happy mother’s day does anyone know who this character that traumatized me ispic.twitter.com/24mHWWzJBf
8 May 2022 : i thought he was from robin hood but i can't actually find any evidence of it
8 May 2022 : they're SO off and they erased his lil tufts but i think you're right! no wonder it was a cop
8 May 2022 : today is my mom’s 39th day in the hospital and she began her mother’s day learning that, very tentatively, she may be able to go home on friday here are some photos i really love of the original claudia moralespic.twitter.com/mCMjABZZlM
8 May 2022 : people keep calling lookout kid “yogurt commercial music” please leave me and my probiotics alone
8 May 2022 : claudia dress for the weather for once in your life challenge
8 May 2022 : SEVERAL people have been like “i expected you to end up at the SNL arcade fire thing” and i want to make it clear that there are some things that rise above being god’s favorite and chief among them is aging superwholocks stopping at nothing to breathe benedict cumberbatch’s air
8 May 2022 : i can make this joke because of my lived experiences
9 May 2022 : i am normally not particularly emotional during my period but today i teared up on a union square bench because a french fry tasted so good
9 May 2022 : and also because all day i have felt like i am being estabbed
9 May 2022 : lmao it was from: wendy's
9 May 2022 : though we should go to pommes frites soon and eat them in the park
9 May 2022 : maybe even....... on a friday.......
9 May 2022 : LITERALLY had the same grief cycle this morning when watching the sketches
9 May 2022 : why did i think snoop dogg was in his seventies
9 May 2022 : kylo ren was named after rilo kiley right
9 May 2022 : just remembering that i had a dream briefly featuring the dog costume jenny lewis walked offstage with when she was opening for harry styles and i woke up and silver lining by rilo kiley was playing
9 May 2022 : mike
9 May 2022 : i hate the gig economy but if i could gopuff a heating pad directly to my torso right now i would
9 May 2022 : the aquarius one's hitting me like a mary oliver poem
9 May 2022 : if you were miserable what would you buy yourself to eat in lower manhattan. hypothetically
10 May 2022 : should i get a third taylor swift tattoo
10 May 2022 : matter of when not if
10 May 2022 : sometimes when i walk by birdy's i remember when @JoannaNewSum41 said 2 me "isn't your whole thing that you're sincere" and it is still very funny to me
10 May 2022 : thank you for being my friend even though i am sincere in public on purpose
10 May 2022 : if you listened to WE
10 May 2022 : joke's on you i am incapable of choosing between or ranking anything ever
10 May 2022 : gun to my head it's unconditional but that's not the one i have a tattoo from so
10 May 2022 : mvp trophy for benny 2022
10 May 2022 : damn it changed the septum ring too
10 May 2022 : holy shit absolutely
10 May 2022 : this is an extremely stay at home mom facebook statuts thing to say but i actually do find great pride and affirmation in the kind of people who dislike me lol
10 May 2022 : and in the kind of people who love me! literally dug myself out of a deep self-hatred encouraged by weirdo jealous narcissists by being like "okay wait i am not smart or devious enough to fool ALL these good and kind people of great integrity into thinking i rule so maybe i rule"
10 May 2022 : nothing happened my life is blissfully boring lately i just have war flashbacks sometimes when my dunkin donuts tastes a certain way
10 May 2022 : took a long time to land here but now i'm here for life baby
10 May 2022 : okay i'm finally ready to talk about my trauma (yesterday i was in so much pain that i decided to make myself some emotional support annie's but the cheese powder was weirdly sour like has-gone-SO-bad sour in a way i didn't think could happen to powdered preservative cheese dust)
10 May 2022 : WE LOVE TO SEE IT
10 May 2022 : right there with you
10 May 2022 : let’s fuckin goooooo
10 May 2022 : why is the hype by relatively niche diy band shopping playing in the fuckigngb world trade center i am losing my mind
10 May 2022 : absolutely banger, one of my favorite songs, did not expect to hear it steps from where the twin towers used to be,
11 May 2022 : can’t explain why but i love finding playlists where they’re named after a song but that song doesn’t appear until like six tracks in
11 May 2022 : also if you have a playlist named after a song send it to me okay
11 May 2022 : FUCKIN YES WELCOME RONI
11 May 2022 : me at the ny show tomorrow
11 May 2022 : clearing my laptop's desktop for the first time in many months here are some treasurespic.twitter.com/ZlhDYqcJtc
11 May 2022 : pic.twitter.com/SCcPLP86AW
11 May 2022 : looking back it is possible my shift from meek self-loathing to "nobody can tell me shit" really began when steph and i were voted best dressed in an unprompted election in prince's actual house
11 May 2022 : it happened directly under a graphic of prince's eyes peeking out from some clouds placed over a threshold and we joked about it being a weird, too-on-the-nose post-mortem addition and later learned prince had it put there while he was still alive
11 May 2022 : wait i just realized tonight might be my last time in the pit for many months wtf i'm so sad
11 May 2022 :
11 May 2022 : something very funny to me about having lived in the greater bosstones area for five years and only now finally having an opportunity to see full band pile in,,, brooklyn
11 May 2022 : unlesS i do a sneaky sinclair maneuver
11 May 2022 : meditating to build mental and emotional resilience so i don't give in and buy a fifteen dollar pbr at terminal five tonight
11 May 2022 : can i rest for five fucking minutes
11 May 2022 : trulY
11 May 2022 : if i am being forced into pit retirement i better end up bleeding tonight
11 May 2022 : welcome to hell this gave me actual nightmares last summer
11 May 2022 : can't wait to cry about a lizard at the pup show
11 May 2022 : i look ridiculous. on purpose
12 May 2022 : Everyone I Have Ever Met In NY Is At Pup I Ran Into Three People Before Even Getting Inside The Venue
12 May 2022 : sheer mag just introduced something with “this is our horniest song” which i think every band should start doing before their horniest song
12 May 2022 : for transparency
12 May 2022 : masked so the teens at the pup show don’t see my fine lines
12 May 2022 : folks jeff rosenstock made a surprise appearance in the pup set and i was busy peeing
12 May 2022 : pup stopped in the middle of a song to call a guy out for crowdkilling and it led to a SAFETY FIRST chant i love this song
12 May 2022 : he came out again for my favorite song off the new album and i made it from second floor balcony to heart of the pit in olympic time
12 May 2022 : the only other time i’ve ever worn this shirt was for jeff’s ska dream show so this is officially the jeff rosenstock summoning shirt, i’ll use this power responsibly,pic.twitter.com/8wLpJqnkTW
12 May 2022 : i TRUSTWD YOU
12 May 2022 : arcade fire covering harry styles is claudia rightshttps://twitter.com/arcadefire/status/1524748372124442629 …
12 May 2022 : all the floor tickets to barclays disappearing within seconds of the presale opening, however, is a claudia rights violation
12 May 2022 : if you have time to hunt i've had good luck with the good wills on the UES specifically
12 May 2022 : global warming causing me to listen to my summer playlists too early
12 May 2022 : there's a bittersweetness to it too but i love when my boston friends see a show i either just went to or am about to go to on the tour's new york stop and also i never miss boston more than in those moments
12 May 2022 : have fun at spanish love songs 2night homies i will chug an extra high life at the mercury lounge show in your absence or maybe just a club soda
12 May 2022 : you understand a lot more about me once you figure out how effectively and lastingly i am motivated by spite like 80% of why i post so many mirror selfies is because someone i don't like made fun of me for one (1) in 2019
12 May 2022 : the other 20% is because it's a public service
12 May 2022 : i only stopped hating myself when someone tried to make me feel like i should hate myself and i was like "now wait a minute"
12 May 2022 : i need someone strong to come over open this bottled smoothie for me and then leave
12 May 2022 : you do not have to leave
12 May 2022 : i am tall and i am sturdy but i am weak
12 May 2022 : i love all my dumb little playlists with dumb little cover art that's just photos from my wide-eyed little life i love being a sentimental little bitch !!!!!!!!
12 May 2022 : i cannot believe i was like "yeah i'm just going to find mike in the pit" when the whole floor was the pit
12 May 2022 : i lived a <10 minute walk from this and got pushed out last summer so our apartment could be renovated lmao
12 May 2022 : i know i have developed my first crumb of self-preservation instinct because i don’t have my spotify activity set to public anymore
12 May 2022 : to clarify this is not because i care what people think of the quality what i listen to i have a jimmy buffett tattoo
12 May 2022 : oh my god i was trying to find a specific text from 2020 where @alisousa4 was calling me out on embarrassing public listening activity and instead found this memory i suppressedpic.twitter.com/juwLLTAt5s
12 May 2022 : cannot reply publicly please hold
12 May 2022 : RT @hetherrfortune : I’m always saying thispic.twitter.com/jZ4m3Ep5DZ
12 May 2022 : you can’t spring a new my chemical romance on me in the year of our lord 2022 without having me sign a medical waiver first
12 May 2022 : once again i say: the amount of wild wish fulfillment the universe has been handing me lately means there has to be a weakerthans reunion soon
13 May 2022 : little-known lifehack: every text is a risky text if you have enough anxiety
13 May 2022 : holy shit
13 May 2022 : if it's true that one of the songs on the forthcoming my chemical romance album is called still alive it better be… https://t.co/4f0zwm819J
13 May 2022 : who up mounting they immune response
13 May 2022 : i got my second booster today and made it moderna for the arnold palmer defense and i am going through it
13 May 2022 : the barclays ticket situation is fucked so i'm going to boston and dc to see arcade fire because i've lost control of my life
13 May 2022 : what the fuck. What the fuck
13 May 2022 : which shows are you going to?? i might do an impulse UK trip if there are tickets available closer to the shows and i can afford it
13 May 2022 : i got a dc arcade fire ticket not for arcade fire but so i can go to ben's chili bowl and flip off joe b
13 May 2022 : separate activities unless i take my order to go
13 May 2022 : mr. morale & the big steppers > mr. morale (& the big stepper)s > mr. morale s > mr. morales ????? kendrick where's my cut
13 May 2022 : did i finally open this smoothie using my two good hands and several blades just now? yes but did it result in me bleeding actual blood? also yes
14 May 2022 : i really thought i was escaping humidity when i left florida for the northeast and that was really cute of me
14 May 2022 : i have gotten a comment on both my martha shirt and my nana grizol tattoo in completely different paths of manhattan today the bandcamp users are out AND about
14 May 2022 : RT @er0b : a potato can be so luxurious
14 May 2022 : can we as a society please move toward better ketchup packet options it is 2022
14 May 2022 : i LOVE these but it’s very rare that i run into them! maybe i should order them to carry around,,,
15 May 2022 : i am very proud of this very dumb sticker/shirt combo don’t read too much into itpic.twitter.com/CHLxV9Ph8U
15 May 2022 : do setting sprays actually work or am i giving myself elementary school aquarium trip flashbacks for nothing
15 May 2022 : and live musichttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1474152130630098951 …
15 May 2022 : a good look!!!
15 May 2022 : chewing ice on the dance floor
15 May 2022 : during the hall and oates club remix
15 May 2022 : very shortly after posting this i arrived at the function and was ordered a narragansett i believe in manifesting now
15 May 2022 : downtown by macklemore is the only song that exists
15 May 2022 : eating a boston cream pie chobani go celtics
15 May 2022 : unfortunately i have discovered chobani flips and now there are like ten in my fridgE
15 May 2022 : i was just thinking about this earlier......... ..
15 May 2022 : bad news for my haters i am at the park enjoying the day
15 May 2022 : there is a band playing what i can only describe as main-street-electrical-parade-core
15 May 2022 : please do not let me forget about this …..
15 May 2022 : it's going to be so funny when i'm in miami for the celtics beating the heat in the finals
15 May 2022 : the ultimate triumph of new england over my ""roots""
15 May 2022 : you’re welcome bostonhttps://twitter.com/driftwould2/status/1525908194823913473 …
16 May 2022 : sorry to the guy shouting something probably gross at me from his car while i waited to be able to cross i was listening to the hampster dance full blast so all i could hear was dibidi ba didi dou dou di ba didi dou
16 May 2022 : just sent someone my lastm profile and immediately realized there were a few things i failed to considerpic.twitter.com/w5Q6hOmf1l
16 May 2022 : welcome
16 May 2022 : whether or not i’m listening to delicate is protected under hipaa
16 May 2022 : the last song i listened to on my walk to the spanish love songs show was surfer rosa by the obsessives and the first house music song playing when i walked in was surfer rosa by the obsessives the gig is haunteD
16 May 2022 : playing like three different games of “where do i know you from and/or why do you keep looking at me” at the gig please release me from the curse of being beheld
16 May 2022 : and THEN the same carly rae jepsen song i was listening to this morning came on as house music right after the set. haunted
16 May 2022 : this is the same thing i ate today i love synergy
16 May 2022 : "yeah they fuckin rule, most of their songs are about depression and economic anxiety," - me doing a very good job of pitching @ws_moron on spanish love songs before their set
16 May 2022 : i fuckiGNg hate that you made me read this
16 May 2022 : too late number blocked
16 May 2022 : a bush wicked this ?
16 May 2022 : still working on this one
16 May 2022 : i'm a very polarizing person in that people who rule like me and people who suck don't
16 May 2022 : who up dunky they donaspic.twitter.com/fwAm26eOtH
16 May 2022 : took this using my feet that’s the power of dunky donaspic.twitter.com/lcmSb1Xvjt
16 May 2022 : @megathornberry oh no
16 May 2022 : thank you evie
16 May 2022 : going garfield mode (hating monday) bc my weekend was too good
16 May 2022 : okay mostly i’m just sleepy
16 May 2022 : good for her
16 May 2022 : sorry to the guy shouting something probably gross at me from his car while i waited to be able to cross i was listening to the hampster dance full blast so all i could hear was dibidi ba didi dou dou di ba didi dou
16 May 2022 : just sent someone my lastm profile and immediately realized there were a few things i failed to considerpic.twitter.com/w5Q6hOmf1l
17 May 2022 : facetimed my mom to get cancer updates but i still don't know the latest because she won't stop talking about how excited she is for Avatar 2
17 May 2022 : if you've been wondering who's been out there keeping avatar a viable franchise it's just my mom it's just her but she's VERY enthusiastic about it
17 May 2022 : i think if i see carly rae jepsen live this year it'll solve all my problems. and create new ones
17 May 2022 : due to prior disaster i've decided that the next time i see carly it'll be my first time in much the same way born again christian girlies decide they're suddenly virgins again
17 May 2022 : i should be able to gopuff a lobotomy
17 May 2022 : whoever has been bribing strangers to give me compliments keep doing it
17 May 2022 : forgot that i saved half of a bagel i didn't toast yesterday so i could toast and eat it today i'm am a genius
17 May 2022 : this is just what tuesdays are
17 May 2022 : getting into lip gloss and tequila sodas i am going to be insufferable this summer
17 May 2022 : prepare to be sick of me
17 May 2022 : i was so resistant to slick shine for so long...., but no more
17 May 2022 : this summer i WILL have at least one beer on the charlie's kitchen patio on a nice breezy night and no disaster will ensue
17 May 2022 : i just can’t believe i’ve ever allowed even one person to make me feel bad
17 May 2022 : eva and claudia sipping tequila sodas together when
17 May 2022 : do you think jens lekman sings happy birthday like that too
17 May 2022 : either someone with covid platonically spits in my mouth today or i do not leave my room until june which one is it going to be
17 May 2022 : great week for you to be back in the office for the first time in months !
17 May 2022 : multiple offers so if you were trying to platonically spit in my mouth so i don't kill my chemo mom your window of opportunity has closed
17 May 2022 : negotiated our rent increase down over 30% even though i am three toddlers stacked in a trenchcoat
17 May 2022 : abandoned half-full bottle of pedialyte on the urgent care waiting room coffee table really telling a story
17 May 2022 : urgent care guy said i tested positive for needing a gentle kiss on the forehead
18 May 2022 : why did two tequila sodas absolutely body me i am twenty seveN years old
18 May 2022 : i dropped m yphone four times and now i am listening to song redacted on a loop
18 May 2022 : i do not desreve this reply
18 May 2022 : i wish
18 May 2022 : self portrait as drafts, self portrait as me using selfie mode to make sure that guy wasn’t still walking behind mepic.twitter.com/uZ0xcDrfOF
18 May 2022 : i'm pissed off!!!!
18 May 2022 : i am once again threatening to go to boston
18 May 2022 : laughin because the voicemail transcription thing misheard the cvs robot and it looks like i have a prescription to pup the bandpic.twitter.com/70bBOEJmcw
18 May 2022 : morbid stuff (medicinal)
18 May 2022 : appropriately this is ACTUALLY for bupropion, my antidepressant,
18 May 2022 : every so often google photos decided to humble mepic.twitter.com/eKzBafvYDP
18 May 2022 : why were my bangs like that (it’s because i was having a mental break)
18 May 2022 : while in boston i'm going to fight you
18 May 2022 : RT @2beers2trumpets : we're in beer drinkin and hell raising season
18 May 2022 : this is gorgeous omg!!
18 May 2022 : to this day i have only been to a movie theater once since january 2020 and it WAS to see doctor taylor swift's All… https://t.co/lkLDmopLnf
18 May 2022 : in 1995 the magnetic fields opened a song with "time provides the rope but love will tie the slipknot" and later that same year, in iowa, a band in iowa made their debut under the name slipknot in this essay i will
18 May 2022 : the most important 1995 thing here is that both these events were preceded by: me being born, you're welcome,
18 May 2022 : “in iowa, a band in iowa” and it was in iowa
19 May 2022 : the formula for a song to devastate me is simple it just has to mention cars and bars and also be by taylor swift specifically
19 May 2022 : had a really nice moment today where i got to my favorite part of the williamsburg bridge and a really nice breeze hit me and the sun was just starting to set and acolyte by slaughter beach dog came on shuffle. and also i was eating fries
19 May 2022 : hello,https://twitter.com/notmollyorsilly/status/1527020403851419648 …
19 May 2022 : (i recently finally found out exactly how tall i am after years of oscillating between different answers so i can know exactly how wrong you all are)
19 May 2022 : no
19 May 2022 : now i need to know how tall @madeline_starr, who has met me, thinks i am
19 May 2022 : you got it
19 May 2022 : these were good drafts evergreen draftshttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1509178336924385284 …
19 May 2022 : why would bands announce such good shows for this, the summer i can't go in the pit,
19 May 2022 : catch me either looking down longingly from the brooklyn steel balcony or going against medical advice
19 May 2022 : all morning my head has been playing a version of I'm Coming Out where the words are "i'm really sad" anyone know what this means
19 May 2022 : anyone have any ideas about how i feel about the song 1967, I Miss You I'm Lonely by @MarthaDIYpic.twitter.com/BEBg53S2ZG
19 May 2022 : if you wanted to lure me to my death you'd just have to be like "hey i have a sincere and sentimental power pop song referencing your favorite frank o'hara poem in here"
19 May 2022 : drafts revealpic.twitter.com/toWzbuKO7F
19 May 2022 : we're at the point in season transitions where whether a song gets added to my spring playlist or my summer playlist depends in part on how the light is coming in through the window in that moment and what the last drink i had a sip of was and
19 May 2022 : chad,
19 May 2022 : is there any greater relief than thinking you're in trouble but learning really everyone was just worried you were dead
19 May 2022 : RT @cowboyboyband : Really excited for this incredibly stacked lineup in BK on 6/16 More tour lineup announcements coming this week! @LongNeckLass @bummercampband @BandsdoBKpic.twitter.com/U6KCMnKlMa
19 May 2022 : my pcr test came back negative thanks for nothinG
19 May 2022 : mutual monday what was the last song to just destroy yo u
19 May 2022 : every fuckign time!!! every time. i listened to this one this week and made a face about it
19 May 2022 : absolutely not i am not going down this path again
19 May 2022 : come 2 remember sports show in auguast
19 May 2022 : i knew this was going to be your answer and i feel it is my fault somehow
19 May 2022 : reputation , more like , situation. because it is her situationship album
19 May 2022 : even just thinking about the chorus for this one is always game over for me
19 May 2022 : oh i know this one like the back of my hand and first of all are you okay
19 May 2022 : the formula for a song to devastate me is simple it just has to mention cars and bars and also be by taylor swift specifically
19 May 2022 : i have been preparing my emotional damages class action lawsuit against los campesinos for over ten years,
19 May 2022 : thom literally finding this one on an old playlist yesterday is part of what has led me down this spiral
19 May 2022 : you're welcome and i'm sorry
19 May 2022 : oh yeah this song and this whole album is a human rights violation
19 May 2022 : everyone's responding respectable indie and diy tracks but joke's on you this tweet was the direct result of an Aly & AJ song
19 May 2022 : haha. yeah
19 May 2022 : jd is a menace
19 May 2022 : please enjoy this thread where i created a mayonnaise-related rift in the band in the replies because of this songhttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1436558490512863232 …
19 May 2022 : LMAO why do i think that is your username on every platform ever
19 May 2022 : avoiding my problems but in a hot way
19 May 2022 : this does open up the argument i’ve been having with myself that it would be BETTER songwriting to have the narrator be a mayo fiend but ultimately i think it’s funnier than john decided to pass up an emotional worldbuilding opportunity in the name of his condiment convictions
19 May 2022 : exactlypic.twitter.com/OIDP7T8JFW
20 May 2022 : [adele chasing pavements music] should i go out or should i just keep making playlists
20 May 2022 : my birth control is i have three and a quarter mountain goats tattoos
20 May 2022 : would still rather be publicly crying in new york than not publicly crying most other places!!! is a realization that made me feel better while publicly crying in new york an hour ago
20 May 2022 : actually three and three quarters. humiliating
20 May 2022 : f
20 May 2022 : as both a recovering floridian and a recovering masshole i have one simple wish and it is for the celtics to keep wiping the floor with the heat. thanks
20 May 2022 : watching that game was very therapeutic for me specifically
20 May 2022 : sometimes a hashbrown egg and cheese with cholula on it can save your life
20 May 2022 : i owe this hashbrown my life
20 May 2022 : okay i finally unfucked my lastfm so i can do these weekly grid things no constructive criticism thankspic.twitter.com/VXu5vV6NZj
20 May 2022 : not one but two e·mo·tion appearances is very funny
20 May 2022 : yes
20 May 2022 : truly an all-timer
20 May 2022 : tweeted this BEFORE hearing the harry's house song that mentions hashbrowns.......... the synergy........
20 May 2022 : [adele chasing pavements music] should i go out or should i just keep making playlists
20 May 2022 : on one hand it gets lonely working from home now that my roommate has a go to the office job but on the other i am able to enjoy harry's house (2022) as god intended, walking around naked in my apartment eating potato chip,
20 May 2022 : you alone have the context of the fact that today i look like i got run over by a car or bike
20 May 2022 : i can't choose a funniest text here oh my god
20 May 2022 : inside of me there are two wolves one is get to the gig wolf the other is but i'm sleepy wolf
20 May 2022 : okay when i made this tweet i thought it was five p.m. in the afternoon
20 May 2022 : thinking about all the business meetings that went into making the new harry styles album just so horny
20 May 2022 : we've come such a long way from watermelon sugar. as a society
20 May 2022 : HELL YEAH
20 May 2022 : i am going to there
20 May 2022 : interesting claim coming from the third “do cocaine” wolf
21 May 2022 : at the other side of how exhausted i am right now is me finally fixing our my months-long sleep schedule crisis in the funniest way possible, our long national nightmare is almost over,
21 May 2022 : sleepy wolf won sorry to adam parshall and myself and the institution of live music
21 May 2022 : i have zero nyc contacts but yes please this is all i want
21 May 2022 : i know i am evolving because it is ninety degrees and i am still in a good mood
21 May 2022 : usually the first hot days of the year are big time bad for me because of the cptsd stuff they dredge up but this time it’s actually good practice for two weeks from now when i am in miami and back in the exact context of the abuse that gave me the cptsd stuff. haha
21 May 2022 : okay i did not mean for this one to go on main but in my defense i was tweeting in blinding sunlight sipping my large cold brew six butter pecan swirl no sunglasses
21 May 2022 : this should give you an idea of how fun my private twitter is though. haha
21 May 2022 : daydreaming about the “we didn’t have to move this year” party meg and i are probably throwing this summer and trying to figure out how i will top our housewarming invitepic.twitter.com/Tj7Vdhs1BZ
21 May 2022 : graphic design is my passion
21 May 2022 : pulled myself out of a depressive spiral that almost led to me staying in bed all day with one weird trick: playing shots by lmfao feat. lil john
21 May 2022 : and an hour later realizing i hadn't taken my antidepressant
21 May 2022 : the grip that soula boy had on the middle school dance industry..............
21 May 2022 : curing my mental illness by playing my diesel cafe post-closing playlist and reminiscing on our foolproof tactic of getting customers overstaying their welcome to leave by playing pitbull in steadily increasing volumehttps://open.spotify.com/playlist/63NUzL7SEYBig4jJBRvlJf?si=a4d101f23db041c1 …
21 May 2022 : middle school dance is a spiritual state accessible to all ages
21 May 2022 : you can't convince me that the burger king bathroom mentioned in Picture of My Dress by the mountain goats isn't the same burger king bathroom mentioned in digital underground's tour de force The Humpty Dance
21 May 2022 : this is my multiverse of madness
21 May 2022 : i'm so excited for this mail aaaaaahhhh
21 May 2022 : sam pls
21 May 2022 : watching the ultimatum can't wait to find out why everyone hates these people
22 May 2022 : i am deeply obsessed with both of your dresses
22 May 2022 : window into the state of my drafts that before i curate them to preserve a shred of dignity when i make my little drafts postspic.twitter.com/J2oaWEqOyB
22 May 2022 : that’s righT
22 May 2022 : where are the clubs that play pitbull at least twice an hour
22 May 2022 : i'm a simple man
22 May 2022 : i didn't appreciate miami school dances when i had them. hubris
22 May 2022 : ugh
22 May 2022 : as a mixed race latina no amount of ""white-passing"" discourse can humble me as much as the fact that i still have tan lines from the one (1) time i went to the beach last year and got second (2nd) degree burns because i thought i could get away without sunscreen on my back
22 May 2022 : which is how i realized that i never burned as a kid not just because of my genes but because i actually went outside in daylight more than once every two years back then
22 May 2022 : the room cleaner / the roompic.twitter.com/kkmSlpmknf
22 May 2022 : RT @WlCKEDRAIN : im sry i will not be doing a nonchalant competition. i write love letters and treasure ppl
22 May 2022 : meditating on everyone's answers to my "which song last destroyed you" question the other day i was working on a playlist of songs that just fuck me up and hit play on it FORGETTING that i had queued up six pitbull songs earlier
22 May 2022 : body by jula jacklin into hotel room service by pitbull slaps as an emotional journey actually
22 May 2022 : i can't believe i am so deeply moved by a song on harry's album where one of the lines is "cocaine, side boob,"
22 May 2022 : anyway here is the playlist so far, not a ranking not at all comprehensive, finding it really cool to return to these removed from the contexts where they stung and to get to see how moving they are just on their own! as songs! and not soundtracks!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SYBTsI8KIx1MpZZASWBHN?si=c422c0d42b6745fc …
22 May 2022 : i need to become a better liar so i can make up meanings for my tattoos when people ask instead of being like "oh this one's after a song about having revenge fantasies re: people who abused you as a child" or "this one is also about that but it's a different song"
22 May 2022 : i can't believe i don't have a hold steady tattoo yet lmao also this rules
22 May 2022 : my witch one is a Capacity tattoo! hell yeah
22 May 2022 : can't wait to see how many tattoos abt the same bands we have by the time we inevitably end up at the same show somewhere
22 May 2022 : if we both have tequila summers our household will be so powerful
22 May 2022 : it is bad bunny weather
22 May 2022 : self-portrait with corndog (2022)pic.twitter.com/PIqicneBJA
22 May 2022 : joe
22 May 2022 : the deep dread i feel about going back to miami is outweighed by the joy about going back to where there’s croquetas
23 May 2022 : you ever feel like it’s evolutionarily unwise to talk about the songs you love too much because if people listen to them closely enough they will know everything about you
23 May 2022 : i think it's unfair and cruel and downright stinky that i can't just end up at a david byrne show every few weeks anymore
23 May 2022 : i need to see this must be the place performed live on a consistent basis or i will wither like spongebob at sandy's crib
23 May 2022 : RT @jenrara : What if we kissed in front of the McDonald’s county jailpic.twitter.com/dhIBhFgzzq
23 May 2022 : writing "please knock some sense into me" under delivery instructions
23 May 2022 : waking up back at emotional equilibrium after having a night of unchecked melodrama is always like. opening spotify and going "why was i listening to that"
23 May 2022 : i talk a lot of game about not missing boston for someone who still thinks "i'm going to throw myself in the charles" regularly
23 May 2022 : "i'm going to throw myself in the hudson" doesn't hit the same. it lacks conviction, commitment. sully could rescue me at any moment
23 May 2022 : any time i fumble an english phrase or pronunciation it's because ""english is not my first language"" and if you bring up the fact that i'm way worse at spanish it's antilatinidad
23 May 2022 : puking on the mass ave sidewalk not physically but spiritually
23 May 2022 : if bruce springsteen is annoucning a tour tomorrow i am going to
23 May 2022 : the tour
23 May 2022 : last week i made myself so sad being like "what if i never see bruce live" and the last time i was sad about not having seen one of my favorite acts yet i ended up seeing that band three times in the following four days so lfg
23 May 2022 : mutual monday show me your recently used emojis and i'll tell you a song they remind me of
23 May 2022 : happy unhappy by the beths
23 May 2022 : why was my first thought never going to the bathroom again
23 May 2022 : rosy by long neck!
23 May 2022 : oh this prompt fully came out of me being very amused by my frequently used emoji grid for similar reasons sweet spot by kim petras or like any kim petras song
23 May 2022 : be sweet by japanese breakfast or i know i'm funny haha by faye webster
23 May 2022 : don't feel like crying by sigrid or new romantics (both canonically gay in my head)
23 May 2022 : kim petras has never once let me down
23 May 2022 : 24 hours by sky ferreira or love is lighter than air by the magnetic fields (also sorry i never answered your top five mag fields question i got distracted by listening to their whole discography and doing melodramatics)
23 May 2022 : okay this one is tricky and i might come back with a "no actually this one" but jungleland by bruce springsteen (the song having a sax solo was non-negotiable here)
23 May 2022 : want you in my room by carly rae jepsen
23 May 2022 : if it's a water gun: pool hopping by illuminati hotties if it's a Gun gun: becky by be your own pet or all hail me by veruca salt
23 May 2022 : drunk ii by mannequin pussy or what's it take by snarls or like 80% of my music library
23 May 2022 : i wanna make you bread by free cake for every creature
23 May 2022 : the entirety of this playlist i started last summer:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4czbrVNebRWkcvEHwxQUVL?si=f15e472222704f6d …
23 May 2022 : yuk foo by wolf alice
23 May 2022 : this is too on the nose but i melt with you by modern english
23 May 2022 : embody by frankie cosmos
23 May 2022 : in love again by mannequin pussy
23 May 2022 : the reasons by the weakerthans / us against the world by that matt maggiacomo guy
23 May 2022 : stumbled upon a poem i wrote six years ago and it is about drinking too much and feeling just completely broken as a person and it DOES take place at a new year's eve party and it IS named after a death cab for cutie song and i am feelin a lot of tenderness for early twenties c
23 May 2022 : just constantly marveling at all the ways i am everything/everywhere i never thought i'd be and this poem is not good but i might make a zine of it
23 May 2022 : caught lookin' by young guv
23 May 2022 : a lot of material here but the frog makes it so all i can think about is the video for the king of rock n roll by prefab spout
23 May 2022 : can't hardly wait by the replacements!
23 May 2022 : if i don't use exclamation points i'll die
26 May 2022 : stephin merritt invented the moon
26 May 2022 : pic.twitter.com/OZekcHg6ay
26 May 2022 : if you saw me say elsewhere that i was going to stay in twitter jail until friday keep it moving i figured out why i was having panic attacks again it's not because of twitter it's because of: birth control withdrawals
26 May 2022 : wait i didn't know the broadway had these
26 May 2022 : count me in
26 May 2022 : i mean duh!!!
26 May 2022 : "inspirational quotes" ??????????????pic.twitter.com/s1OKmD7kcR
26 May 2022 : miami is a city full of fairweather fuckos and i know this because i grew up there go c's
26 May 2022 : the dunking on a miami friend about the heat's loss over instagram to answering a phone call from a celtics fan who immediately says "the miami heat are very bad at playing basketball" instead of a hello pipeline
26 May 2022 : True Life: I Fled From Miami To The Northeast And Everything About My Life Got Better Including Sports Things
26 May 2022 : yeah as someone who grew up in miami — i don't think i've ever heard anyone say anything about the miami heat with as much conviction as @ryantcarson put into that statement but then again there's not much conviction going around among heat fans
26 May 2022 : ivan why
26 May 2022 : i had a small crisis when nicole asked me what my top five m fields songs are and though my very favorites aren't even on 69 Love Songs it led to a different small crisis of me trying to figure out my 69LS top five and the closest i've gotten is thishttps://open.spotify.com/playlist/28Kl9SSRS5S2ACeIPUVvf0?si=0985b0816a29459b …
26 May 2022 : if you have a clear favorite or even a top three i want to know! gun to my head i don't want to get over you and absolutely cuckoo are definitely in my top three but it's a fifteen-way tie for what the third song is
26 May 2022 : okay i didn't realize it was this late who up magnetizing they fields
26 May 2022 : this is! so interesting to me aaahhh my top two are strange powers and love is lighter than air but i also need to do a more thorough relisten of the whole discography and see what's changed in my heart (though i think those two will still be tops)
26 May 2022 : STRONGLY considering When My Boy as my third and i think all/most of these are in my narrowed-down list
26 May 2022 : my top two overall are strange powers and love is lighter than air! papa was a rodeo is a strong pick for sure
26 May 2022 : YEAH all my favorite merritt-core songs in general are like... if i'm going to be heartsick i'm going to make it sound like disney's main street electrical parade
26 May 2022 : THANK YOU lmao i'm proud of it
26 May 2022 : whole city's fairweather lmao can't wait to land at MIA in a celtics tee next week
26 May 2022 : uhhh new @MarthaDIY in four hours apparentlY?pic.twitter.com/o2rUJwMkGS
26 May 2022 : okay after much agonizing i got it down to eleven which i REALLY think is the best i can do
26 May 2022 : every day i think about how my family and i moved to america on purpose. on purpose
26 May 2022 : against all odds i am really excited about this summer
26 May 2022 : still the worst season
26 May 2022 : meg last night i realized i can't go in the water for seven weeks after this one so ,,,,,,,
26 May 2022 : starter listpic.twitter.com/VhP9JHnRee
26 May 2022 : me but with bruce i still can’t believe it
26 May 2022 : laughed so hard i started coughing because i was looking for something deep in my spotify and instead found the playlists from the year i put this fuckiGn song on two different courtship mixes for two different crusheshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WchseC9aKTU …
26 May 2022 : also the song i accidentally put on during a shift at diesel cafe and while i was panicking a customer would register the TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX lyrical content my mean teenage coworker said "claudia do you listen to the cure? this sounds like the cure"
26 May 2022 : i am only now realizing that we have tomorrow off at work and am ready to hoot and holler, i was fully about to show up and work a whole day tomorrow and be like "i guess my whole team's on PTO"
26 May 2022 : just love the enduring contingent of people who would rather be complicit than cringe (whatever the fuck that means) — i don't think they even believe in their own nihilism, they just parrot w/e they think will make them look better that day without care for that speech's impact
26 May 2022 : i am so delighted by the fact that we have ONE song's overlap! the multitudes,,,
26 May 2022 : from now on my part of bushwick is called haim's square. i listen to haim here
26 May 2022 : slimes square
26 May 2022 : wild concept
26 May 2022 : RT @MarthaDIY : https://youtu.be/1_q_Iip8bRY Please Don't Take Me Back
26 May 2022 : our long international nightmare (no new martha) is overhttps://twitter.com/MarthaDIY/status/1529902372826271750 …
26 May 2022 : heartfelt ripper!!!
26 May 2022 : it's SO GOOD i'm so excited for you to listen
26 May 2022 : RT @getcerebral : diet coke is so sick that they named washington, dc after it
26 May 2022 : i will put that one song vin diesel put out on every summer playlist i make for the rest of my life and that is the claudia promise
26 May 2022 : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4XweyR7k0mWxU6dlUDINlE?si=22308c01841f46da …
26 May 2022 : i do really like it here but bc i was in boston and it was the pandemic i didn’t come visit beforehand and do wish i had known more about other options! i think bedstuy would be a good place to look at too?
26 May 2022 : i love to give my friends press conferences about my life
26 May 2022 : normal catching up calls but k say everything like i am the president of the united states of here is everything i want to tell you about i miss you
26 May 2022 : pisses me off
26 May 2022 : today i took @JessRiz’s truly incredible nu zine to the park and it kicked my ass and i am extremely in luv with it and you should buy it for yourself and/or for someone you love!!! http://www.etsy.com/listing/1216217926 …pic.twitter.com/QTXMaWMjfU
27 May 2022 : good morning one of my favorite things is when you have an album on heavy rotation and every time you play it you uncover a new moment or lyric that resonates with you, or hear a particular line for the twentieth time and find it means something new and different this time around
27 May 2022 : someone asked me if i was scared my acab shirt would make people think i like ac/dc and now i have to imagine a life where i don't listen to thunderstruck three times in a row when i need to feel alive
27 May 2022 : the night jess's zine got to me i read one poem and immediately cleared off my desk for the first time in uhhh months so i could use it to write again, five stars
27 May 2022 : congrats kyra!!!
27 May 2022 : you deserve it!!! and i extremely need to know how it happened
27 May 2022 : what to pack when you're going to retraumatize yourself ? cargo shorts?
27 May 2022 : extra pockets for all the trauma .........
27 May 2022 : when my bangs start approaching halfway down my forehead i feel very There's Too Much Fuckin Shit On Me
27 May 2022 : new wilco is 21 somgspic.twitter.com/1P4fMrIwfZ
27 May 2022 : just kidding i’m going tweedy mode
27 May 2022 : a lot going on this weekpic.twitter.com/CGCRhfZRC4
27 May 2022 : perfect song perfect band
27 May 2022 : the week i drank so much claudia juice (dunx) that i pivoted to all caps
27 May 2022 : someone asked me if i was scared my acab shirt would make people think i like ac/dc and now i have to imagine a life where i don't listen to thunderstruck three times in a row when i need to feel alive
27 May 2022 : the torres album and the pillow queen album are both front to back all rippers no skippers and both have yellow and red as their covers and those are my two favorite colors. makes u think
27 May 2022 : hard agree on both fronts and/but opening an album with a track like Holy Show (devastating, rapturous) is a human rights violation
27 May 2022 : when a band goes from having all their song titles in all caps on one album to all their song titles in title case in the next it's like what happened to you
27 May 2022 : thinking about when my forty-year-old punisher coworker at the bookstore revealed to me that before that he'd worked at spike's in allston and i spent the rest of the shift pulling up photos of musicians i'd dated and making him review them as customers
27 May 2022 : should i "be responsible" and "remember i have big medical expenses" or should i "spend full show money to see the… https://t.co/GagaQ2MUcD
27 May 2022 : good morning one of my favorite things is when you have an album on heavy rotation and every time you play it you uncover a new moment or lyric that resonates with you, or hear a particular line for the twentieth time and find it means something new and different this time around
27 May 2022 : stomping around bushwick with a topo chico and a vengeance
27 May 2022 : i am going to eat so much pollo tropical while i’m in miami next week also reminder that i’m going to be in miami next week
27 May 2022 : i'm gonna be in miami for the first time in like four years next week and all i have thought about is pollo tropical and pub subs
27 May 2022 : i need croquetas de jamon, pastelitos de guayaba y queso, papa rellena to LIVE
27 May 2022 : everyone who told me new york was a small town before i moved here you were right i'm so sorry i rolled my eyes someone i briefly Talked to last summer came up to me at the LAUNDROMAT while i was FOLDING MY UNDERWEAR and that was the second dating app match i saw in there today
27 May 2022 : i'm going to start going to connecticut to do my laundry
27 May 2022 : i have been in dating app retirement for ten thousand years (six months) but it doesn't matter i will be paying for it forever
27 May 2022 : what did i do!!! when did i piss off a witch!!!
27 May 2022 : anyway that wasn't even the worst thing to happen to me the worst thing was Fotos Y Recuerdos coming on and fucking up my whole shit
27 May 2022 : ohhh my god i was just thinking about that the other day but have not ever put it together with the not-as-wonderful instances of this susceptibility
27 May 2022 : every day i think about how david byrne made a playlist of songs that make him cry and put taylor swift on it
27 May 2022 : as well as not just arcade fire but specifically my body is a cage by arcade fire which like damn david me too
27 May 2022 : yes
28 May 2022 : every day i think about how my family and i moved to america on purpose. on purpose
28 May 2022 : fully stolen idea but like this tweet and i'll rec you a song that starts with the same letter as your name/handle <):-)
28 May 2022 : most important historic event to have ever happened in bostonhttps://twitter.com/online_shawn/status/1530350514567020544 …
28 May 2022 : (if i know you i'll try to tailor it to what i imagine you'd like if i don't know you you get what you get and you don't get upset)
28 May 2022 : @AlexHersh american football by kittenhttps://open.spotify.com/track/1NI5y9DsyLxdybMe7i3OdN?si=02d9ddc814a044d8 …
28 May 2022 : @casseroleboy i'm givin you two to up my chances of hitting something you don't already know: b 4 buggin: bright cloud by nana grizol https://open.spotify.com/track/3bmlgq1C15DkiuHkc9kQBg?si=e4127723f67e4112 … l 4 levi: let's get tired by someone still loves you boris yeltsinhttps://open.spotify.com/track/2LnXvyUkMRaL5OtVA1LlD6?si=0a03bd8b33b04979 …
28 May 2022 : @ryantcarson this is a big toughie because i'm close to certain you already know every song i've ever heard but: (the) right words to say by high divehttps://open.spotify.com/track/722nYjpKCvKWaDK3evMMYu?si=83647acca3fa4b2d …
28 May 2022 : @ws_moron tell me if you know this one and i'll try again! molly by palehoundhttps://open.spotify.com/track/5jYC2RecLGtroXe0ha1lQF?si=4f94bb1b3f424f84 …
28 May 2022 : @HelloSa77y i started a "recs for sarah" playlist after you got me into wet leg ten thousand years ago so IOU on that but: sentimental by guppyhttps://open.spotify.com/track/0kkmVwxYPNjzA84uVjqn6W?si=a21142207b5d4929 …
28 May 2022 : @megathornberry moonover by kississippi (i feel like you'd love this whole album! and have heard a lot of it through the wall when i shower lmao)https://open.spotify.com/track/2oQtb6KurUSk88McsuY9Xq?si=e52904c59ad3402e …
28 May 2022 : oh shit so jealous you get to experience SSLY for the first time; "sink/let it sway" and "all hail dracula!" are good next tracks
28 May 2022 : @alisousa4 i think at this point my next playlist for u has been collecting dust for YEARS but here is one: anyone other than u by ex-void (joanna gruesome offshoot if i've ever forced you to listen to them)https://open.spotify.com/track/0niP1NFvgHh9P8OIqqfUPh?si=1fe0327d6b314948 …
28 May 2022 : @garlicemoji kills to be resistant by bully https://open.spotify.com/track/6voxAcfDrzFDr89ruoeuLg?si=88fc6249ebd24593 … orrr: got nothin for ya by gladiehttps://open.spotify.com/track/5zduTCCYx4VyuOR5TAFRJp?si=28c434f66dab471c …
28 May 2022 : @chris_conqueso this feels impossible because you already know everything ugh cruisin usa by iji, from one sentimental sweetie to anotherhttps://open.spotify.com/track/7oH1fJrwpuJbbSzxc76zoK?si=146499baf84d42cc …
28 May 2022 : @emcarr42 liz phair by bad bad hats (a perfect band)https://open.spotify.com/track/5X4t3Kc5X5rBrK4dclNwil?si=ebfa7a618d914de5 …
28 May 2022 : @mossbinch makes me nervous by bad bad hats!https://open.spotify.com/track/1r5hGK8q4Hl0FMtD5F8P4P?si=5118435257904f44 …
28 May 2022 : @FitAlphaVi rats by pillow queenshttps://open.spotify.com/album/1CzvSr74WfSA3uSSA9hUBC?si=85e861dcb4414757 …
28 May 2022 : @katiefab kimmy by antarctigo vespucci!https://open.spotify.com/track/0PmW1F3B1bLK49WFvHni0H?si=dd89489adf7c4459 …
28 May 2022 : @LeylZikiri let's be bad by childbirth!https://open.spotify.com/track/3R2G4MvLKG9SoDMPlyCuNU?si=2beb5e8b11d64dd7 …
28 May 2022 : @BostonMassaker emotional rent control by cheekface!https://open.spotify.com/track/1iAFXTSI6HR8kFpOdRskOY?si=231378488c17468c …
28 May 2022 : @thelastgoodkiss minnesota by the courtneys!https://open.spotify.com/track/391q2BHbd1cwyzUbT3m5fe?si=f0cf6490c41340b6 …
28 May 2022 : @frond_wbenefits ugh i feel like we have a lot of overlap! shrek~chic by winona foreverhttps://open.spotify.com/track/77gSqMJkkrBqsWskudKBpa?si=26e5c1b133c34f5b …
28 May 2022 : @gwondleabout grow into a ghost by swearin' https://open.spotify.com/track/6BqF395VQkLn3k4ND0SSNk?si=18498954ba5b4db2 … or gutters of love by quivershttps://open.spotify.com/track/36IG2ByNdwc8QQSGhdP0kE?si=148f9c72ec8540c8 …
28 May 2022 : @JoannaNewSum41 iron deficiency by the courtneys https://open.spotify.com/track/0HQbdoOHIAulDwR0hXxkiz?si=f3e4e01dcbe64934 … (male feminist tw it says bitch in it)
28 May 2022 : @meliorism temporary tattoo by remember sportshttps://open.spotify.com/track/59XvoAA0DmGZi5vdLG4Qhd?si=6acb1de516d34a31 …
28 May 2022 : @getcerebral tough one because i have a j song shortage AND you definitely know almost everything i know so keep that in mind but: juarez by native sun https://open.spotify.com/track/2d3GiZbNnpb4WOqSMDOIOG?si=daf60fb2335a4a05 … july 4, 2004 by jason andersonhttps://open.spotify.com/track/1jZ39Fc721uEq6RHDhPFrg?si=f32de530f93e4716 …
28 May 2022 : okay i'm finishing up the existing likes on this and then giving up due to I'm Tired
28 May 2022 : if the celtics win this AND i'm seeing pile this weekend i'm going to refer to brooklyn as Boston 2 until monday
28 May 2022 : HOLY SHIT HI ME
28 May 2022 : @ws_moron i just bought my ticket ,,, dream lineup ,,,
28 May 2022 : oh wait i can't read i thought cf was on all the dates but still guppy is bucket list
28 May 2022 : hell yeah, so glad you like it! i would direct you to a good next listen from them but i regret to inform you cheekface is all rippers absolutely no skippers
28 May 2022 : don’t laugh at me but i am just now discovering sunglasses
28 May 2022 : for almost three decades i have been rawdogging summer
28 May 2022 : i’m worried it’s going to be a chill album :-(
28 May 2022 : it’s a (legitimately!) good track for the b-side album that comes out six to twelve months after the main album full of cathartic horny bangers
28 May 2022 : peppa pig’s lonely hearts club band
28 May 2022 : i was outside listening to farewell transmission when it started storming my life a movie fr
28 May 2022 : midnight: the sky the dead moon: this fucking storm me: adult with a phobia of thunder
28 May 2022 : in order of when i got them, w/ redactions: the mountain goats antarctigo vespucci jimmy buffett the mountain goats again nana grizol laura stevenson charly bliss the... mountain goats taylor swift taylor swift second set the wonder years feat. the mountain goats arcade firehttps://twitter.com/czarmitch/status/1530565570134933504 …
28 May 2022 : once again,https://twitter.com/CLAUDIAPOSTING/status/1527442309096386560 …
28 May 2022 : this put me into fight or flight
28 May 2022 : occasionally wish i didn't have an illness where every tattoo needs to be tied to a song that is tied to My Lived Experience and What I Have Overcome and My Values but i love carrying all of that with me in a tangible way and having a rich meaning for each and also they look cool
28 May 2022 : also the last mountain goats one led to jd bringing [unreleased song redacted] out of retirement for one time only just for me which was both deeply moving and completely mortifying
28 May 2022 : baguette
28 May 2022 : 7/11 logo
28 May 2022 : no
28 May 2022 : found a camera with undeveloped film in it that i was SURE i had used to take photos of or involving friends and i just got the scans back and i wasn't wrongpic.twitter.com/sqTqlDbHop
28 May 2022 : anyway now i know this camera i got for $10 on ebay works so if we hang out prepare to be sick of me
28 May 2022 : i am cool and great. has anyone noticed this
28 May 2022 :
28 May 2022 : they’re a hidden gem band i love dearly but never tell people about because all of their songs feel like someone read my mind (half the stuff on their spotify isn’t actually them though)
28 May 2022 : the mountain goats aren’t even my favorite band i have just been dropkicked by life a lot
28 May 2022 : wait is this your first time watching it. either answer i'm so sorry
28 May 2022 : r.i.p. mike
28 May 2022 : whom (i already have a show tomorrow i'm just nosy)
28 May 2022 : oh shit i'm not familiar! will listen. also hell yeah
28 May 2022 : i think this line of my playlist cover art is a good representation of my psychepic.twitter.com/mw6f220dj8
28 May 2022 : this one toopic.twitter.com/jTbB5ZEZsa
28 May 2022 : RT @GoodSlides : pic.twitter.com/u7jzwU9xEO
28 May 2022 : yesterday todaypic.twitter.com/bhBVGGcUQn
28 May 2022 : the copy of WE was gifted to me from someone who i met in line for one of the arcade fire shows because i helped him get a wristband that weekend just keeps givin
29 May 2022 : someone asked me if i was scared my acab shirt would make people think i like ac/dc and now i have to imagine a life where i don't listen to thunderstruck three times in a row when i need to feel alive
29 May 2022 : are these two sentences related or
29 May 2022 : f
29 May 2022 : and what about it
29 May 2022 : the way god intended
29 May 2022 : WHAT
29 May 2022 :
29 May 2022 : waking up is a two hour process for me because i am nobility and deserve it
29 May 2022 : just kidding i've just lost control of my life
29 May 2022 : exactly what i was picturing in my head ,,, also we are both both this household contains multitudes
29 May 2022 : the fact that after all the years i lived in boston/boston-ish i am finally seeing pile live in new york is not as funny to anyone as it is to me but i will still talk about it
29 May 2022 : F but also: cute but also: did everyone in philly have fucked up nights last night
29 May 2022 : me in therapy explaining that my abandonment issues stem from pitbull changing his legal name from mr. 305 to mr. worldwide
29 May 2022 : and child abuse
29 May 2022 : blow drying my rug because i can't set my water bottle down normal places or with the lid on who want me
29 May 2022 : this memorial day weekend please remember the reason for the seasonhttps://open.spotify.com/track/08YAU8YEzjXbPMBhuwwNjr?si=b931b0e56bc9408b …
29 May 2022 : RT @tylerevansokay : It's the National Postal Mailhandler Union jacket for mepic.twitter.com/W9Iq11cQKu
29 May 2022 : out of tatered tots don't text
29 May 2022 : on one hand seeing pile with a boston crowd would be so sick on the other at the brooklyn show i don't have to worry about simultaneously running into everyone who's ever made me cry or throw up in my mouth
29 May 2022 : my mom just “watching stranger things don’t text”-ed me is anyone looking to adoptpic.twitter.com/j1wQEG8kKA
29 May 2022 : i am 27 years old and make my own bed
29 May 2022 : are you going to that show tonight!
29 May 2022 : THAT'S RIGHT BITCH https://twitter.com/nikostratis/status/1530932660708823041 …pic.twitter.com/8CwjAypvFt
29 May 2022 : last night i can get drunk for three or more weeks, first night out warm enough i can forego the tights, i don't know where i'm going with this,
29 May 2022 : so important to have friends* who keep you on the right path** * olivia ** always tells me to go with the red lipstick
30 May 2022 : she’s right pic.twitter.com/C3meuywIWG
30 May 2022 : how to ask guy at birdy’s if he’s cosplaying robert smith in a not rude way
30 May 2022 : doing boston activities
30 May 2022 : in brooklyn
30 May 2022 : actually i just drank some air conditioner water so
30 May 2022 : IF I LOST MY SEPTUM RING IN THE PILE PIT THE CELCTICS BWTTWR WIN TONIHTH
30 May 2022 : I DO JOT KNOW
30 May 2022 : i blacked out at the pile show and now we are at a celtics bar
30 May 2022 : I LOVE BOSTON AND I HATE miami
30 May 2022 : celtics
30 May 2022 : RT @Driftwould2 : Folks, Claudia says it besthttps://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/1531118947004727296 …
30 May 2022 : hey real quick what happened to me last night
30 May 2022 : im hunged over
30 May 2022 : i’m dead and dying
30 May 2022 : last night at the pile show my septum ring was ejected from my nose in the pit and then we left early to catch the end of the celtics game and the celtics won and i had to repierce my nose using my earring and there was a dog
30 May 2022 : pic.twitter.com/Sq5201dGrj
30 May 2022 : why aren't there any taylor swift songs about hangovers
30 May 2022 : i look and feel like this guypic.twitter.com/P91XJquanM
30 May 2022 : 8pm i am now just regular hungover instead of googling signs of death. ordered forbidden pizza
30 May 2022 : googled twee and transatlanticism was the first album that came up as an example? is transatlanticism twee
30 May 2022 : so we beat on, boys against the current, borne ceaselessly back into the town
31 May 2022 : spilled some water on this guide to starting a business sorry here is your limp biz kit
31 May 2022 : yeah i definitely think there's an argument for death cab or ben's projects in general but transatlanticism does not feel like the album to represent that
31 May 2022 : i agree
31 May 2022 : newest reply guy unsolicitedly rated my selfie as “pretty good” but not as good as little death by new zealand power pop band the beths (“so good”) and you know what he is correctpic.twitter.com/W3kzmAnFgi
31 May 2022 : i want to interview him under a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling like in the movies and ask "what did you want to accomplish with this"
31 May 2022 : i have no idea who this man is so truly this could be what he looks like
31 May 2022 : i'm big time dreading going back to miami but whenever the reasons for that start creeping into my mind i think about one thing: publix submarine sandwich
31 May 2022 : anyway the next two weeks are officially legally be nice to claudia week and be nice to claudia week (observed)
31 May 2022 : only knew today's wordle answer because of runescape
31 May 2022 : passing myself off with my Own tattoo
31 May 2022 : good news i have transitioned from not being able to keep food down because i am a type of hungover that belongs in history books to not being able to keep food down because i am about to spend ten days in the house that gave me cptsd
31 May 2022 : hello here are my most listened albums/tracks for [arcade fire voice] the month of maypic.twitter.com/FZP5evTACi
31 May 2022 : how much money will the butler family (texas elite) take from me this year
31 May 2022 : morales is spanish for moranis
31 May 2022 : RT @er0b : your honor, I was just being a huge bitch that day
31 May 2022 : RT @adultmomband : august by taylor swift provides me with power energy sadness life love will to live
31 May 2022 : coming up on a full year of my roommate not killing me even though i have to listen to so hot you're hurting my feelings at an obnoxious volume every time i shower or i'll die
31 May 2022 : the list of things @megathornberry should have murdered me for already is long and ever-growing
31 May 2022 : if you are my roommate you get to be jumpscared by delicate by taylor swift at least once a day. however you can't be my roommate because i am takenhttps://twitter.com/megathornberry/status/1531675444537327616 …
31 May 2022 : RT @Walldo : https://twitter.com/EricMGarcia/status/1531357880313683969 …pic.twitter.com/NXx7aECr9u
31 May 2022 : walked into the coffee shop just in time to hear the barista ask his coworker, in the most betrayed voice i’ve ever heard in my long life, “you’re going to leave before THE CHAIN is done playing?”
31 May 2022 : same energypic.twitter.com/uYwygKNc3J
31 May 2022 : a short storypic.twitter.com/4uv6evCCzM
31 May 2022 : please don't take me out back and shoot me for eating cancelled pizza it was for some reason very specifically the only thing i could fathom eating during hangover nausea
31 May 2022 : kill mepic.twitter.com/wICkZfmxJJ
31 May 2022 : literally this is boston's fault
31 May 2022 : many people are asking thishttps://twitter.com/alisousa4/status/1531735728887152640 …
31 May 2022 : self-portrait as drafts, self-portrait as I Got My Hairs Cut Todaypic.twitter.com/FsPiWbY8N8
31 May 2022 : spilled some water on this guide to starting a business sorry here is your limp biz kit
1 June 2022 : the mountain goats have a song for all of my major activities such as surviving abuse or stabbing people in the eye
1 June 2022 : five!!! years!!! and it still catches me by surprise that i get to have a life surrounded by love and possibility instead of terror and control, or that i get to watch myself become so much more than anything i dared dream in that darkness. good n cool to be alive.https://twitter.com/CLAUDIAPOSTING/status/771711864350904321 …
1 June 2022 : been thinking a lot (lately/always) about the liner notes for @mountain_goats's The Sunset Tree, which i would read over and over again in the worst moments i lived through in that house. i let myself believe they were true. i was right.pic.twitter.com/XB6xEQbAtV
1 June 2022 : accountability check have you looked in the mirror and said “weakerthans reunion” three times today
1 June 2022 : this post brought to you by aside playing on shuffle on my walk back home and me feeling every age i've ever been at once
1 June 2022 : thank you for your service
1 June 2022 : i keep forgetting to get myself a sweet little treat when i'm out in the world... devastating
1 June 2022 : thank u ian
1 June 2022 : dating app rando who i last spoke to in DECEMBER texted me out of the blue earlier this month so i had to hit him with thepic.twitter.com/noyH94EAjN
1 June 2022 : O
1 June 2022 : yeah i have an alt. alternative music cd californication by the red hot chili peppers
1 June 2022 : hell yeah ivan. except the last part
1 June 2022 : i've already gotten pushback on the boys of summer one, what the fuck, the boys of summer is an AFTER SUMMER SONG is nothing sacred anymore
1 June 2022 : almost as bad as when people post summer skin before summer's over or at least dying which is unforgivable
1 June 2022 : i did not beat the waited until the day before a big and complicated trip i have known about for four months to even think about packing allegations
1 June 2022 : haha mood
1 June 2022 : i love you! you've grown and overcome so much even/esp when it doesn't feel like it!
1 June 2022 : i am going to go to at least one show at the sinclair this year or so help me
1 June 2022 : yes i am listening to pitbull at 8:07 in the morning yes it somehow got on my roommate’s phone too yes there are somehow people that keep me in their lives on purposepic.twitter.com/wSinNl3t3w
1 June 2022 : no matter where you are if you listen closely you can hear me screaming all the way in brooklynhttps://twitter.com/laurenrecords/status/1532029717682851842 …
1 June 2022 : i’m a girlboss in the locking myself out of my apartment industry
1 June 2022 : come 2 ny
1 June 2022 : i need someone to credibly threaten my life until i finish or at least start packing my suitcase
1 June 2022 : me last week: yeah idk i think i managed to temporarily burn myself out on the mountain goats, they probably won't be back in rotation for a minute me on the eve of being back in the context of my lifelong ab*se: interesting how the sunset tree is the only album that exists
1 June 2022 : i AM gonna get myself in fighting trim i AM gonna scope out every angle of unfair advantage i DO have an up the wolves tattoo you ARE going to know too much about me the moment you ask me what my favorite tmg album is
1 June 2022 : the mountain goats have a song for all of my major activities such as surviving abuse or stabbing people in the eye
1 June 2022 : once again thinking about these liner noteshttps://twitter.com/CLAUDIAPOSTING/status/1301313869697212416 …
1 June 2022 : im the wolf
1 June 2022 : HELL YEAH NATHAN
1 June 2022 : when will smith said on the sneak miami bringing heat for real he was wrong
1 June 2022 : why would he say "ain't no city in the world like this and if you ask how i know i gots to plead the fifth" when the whole rest of the song is about how he knows
1 June 2022 : did an extra lap around the block before going into the grocery store so i could finish listening to body by julia jacklin all the way through. there’s priorities
1 June 2022 : only news that could make this even better
1 June 2022 : back from my break to clear my head after posting about my experience as an abuse survivor did i miss anything :)
1 June 2022 : sorry to add to this lmao but this whole case has sucked no matter how many keyword filters i set up and today especially sucks
1 June 2022 : what if i DO need a timekeeper what if i DO need an interlocuter. what then
1 June 2022 : HELL YEAH LARA
1 June 2022 : RT @Dreamboum : “https://t.co/iEyTHlTQsQ”"
1 June 2022 : i told my mom (who i am seeing for the first time in five years tomorrow) that this season of stranger things was the last one, because i thought it was, and had to watch her go through every stage of grief before she landed on "well, i still have Avatar 2 to look forward to"
1 June 2022 : i'll just say "era un vecino" when she asks who you are
2 June 2022 : "fulanito de l*** m**"
2 June 2022 : doing every thing imaginable other than packing. consulted on a flowchart. reread diary. rearranged bedside book pile
2 June 2022 : the new mountain goats single just made me do the :O face for real and then cry a little
2 June 2022 : meg and i ABSOLUTELY manifested this by adding a revenge fantasy section to their tmg flowchart
2 June 2022 : this is... one of my favorite mountain goats songs............
2 June 2022 : i'm going to see if i can text it to you but the file was too big for my roomate to text me
2 June 2022 : check yr ig messages! it might come in as a message request type thing for some reason
2 June 2022 : if you listen and are confused about why this made me cry you do not have enough revenge you need to exact. work on yourself
2 June 2022 : the mountain goats are in their claudia wish fulfillment era
2 June 2022 : made my stylist laugh really hard by saying "i don't care what i look like in florida" when she was asking if she went too short with the bangs
2 June 2022 : publix reunion day
2 June 2022 : going to miami by will smith is a mountian goats song
2 June 2022 : doing a spell for a good time in miami by chanting "motel hotel holiday inn" even though i am staying in my childhood bedroom
2 June 2022 : oh ABSOLUTELY
2 June 2022 : why did i, a person who wants to commit crimes every time a man reads my t-shirt out loud to me, get tattoos with words on them
2 June 2022 : “cynicism isn’t wisdom? what do you mean by that?” that i’m insufferable, carl
2 June 2022 : i have two different ones with multiple compartments per day in my carry-on rn
2 June 2022 : i need someone in this airport to tell me the laguardia fountain can’t hurt me
2 June 2022 : the water is doing words
2 June 2022 : OH WAIT I DIDN’T EVWN REALIZE
2 June 2022 : alicia bognanno producing and playing on a @mountain_goats record is the most claudia wish fulfillment shit i could dream up; like — i just found out while actively wearing a Bully shirt
2 June 2022 : no wonder Training Montage immediately shot up to my favorite tmg songs within a minute of my first listen
2 June 2022 : AAAAAAHHHHHH
2 June 2022 : hello from my bully shirt and two of my goats tattoos and the good day i am having even in laguardia purgatorypic.twitter.com/EEeLGL7i7O
2 June 2022 : they heard my “burnt out” comment and said bitch u thought
2 June 2022 : wearing a mask in florida because my mom has cancer yes and because covid is still a thing yes but also and most importantly to avoid running into anyone i have ever gone to school with at the neighborhood publix
3 June 2022 : i miss nu yorq
3 June 2022 : lady in three inch heels at this urgent care had a whole conversation with the receptionist and then said she didn’t “feel a spiritual connection” with the clinic and left [lmfao voice] i’m in miami bitch
3 June 2022 : and claudia
3 June 2022 : i’m a brooklyn normie and a miami suburbs scandal
3 June 2022 : the looks i have been getting for having tattoos AND wearing a mask… scathing
3 June 2022 : i am a normal people 6 but a “has had to rawdog a jacked up life and as a result had to speed-run just so many stages of life development in like three years” 10
3 June 2022 : getting the authentic miami experience in that i ran a bunch of errands and only now learned there was a tropical storm going on that whole time
3 June 2022 : thinking about when my family and i drove across town during a category 2 hurricane because we really wanted these specific cuban sandwiches
3 June 2022 : listen i keep being like “oh i should bring back some bocaditos for folks!” and then remembering i won’t be able to uhhh even carry my own luggage on the return trip because of [redacted]
4 June 2022 : if you want proof that i have grown a great deal as a person since leaving miami today my mom said “you probably still don’t like dunkin donuts”
4 June 2022 : moving to the northeast was the best thing i ever did for myself and i am not sure i would be alive if i hadn’t but how have i survived five years without access to the food of my people (cuban pastelitos)
4 June 2022 : i talked my mom down to this amount, she wanted to buy more,pic.twitter.com/CosRmk4G0x
4 June 2022 : these https://sarussisubs.com/
4 June 2022 : justice for the commander, he’s done nothing wrong in his life,
4 June 2022 : since getting here yesterday i have gotten a “wow you’re so patient” four different times in four different contexts so if you’re normal and want to feel like a saint come to miami where everyone else’s hobby is formando tremendo lio
4 June 2022 : eating proper cuban food for the first time in five years is replenishing the pitbull-shaped void deep inside mepic.twitter.com/DPIaOCp5qV
4 June 2022 : i forgot to add the maraquitas i’m so sorrypic.twitter.com/Ba8iNq5Jd2
5 June 2022 : why is this the only sticker on my little brother’s car i’m yellinpic.twitter.com/HkXxNeMmtD
5 June 2022 : cosmetic surgery is just getting your outsides rearranged
5 June 2022 : learn to drive or else you’ll be a 27 year old visiting miami dying of no one is awake to take me to get coffee
5 June 2022 : i do not go outside in miami. out of principle
5 June 2022 : i am on my fourth day in miami and also my fourth tropichop
6 June 2022 : all the dunx in miami got brutalist makeovers as a favor to me
6 June 2022 : listening to dancing in the dark through my earphones to calm myself down and ten seconds later this waiting room started playing an extremely vibey cover of dancing in the dark and i’m taking it as a sign from bruce himself
7 June 2022 : i’m so excited for you
8 June 2022 : come to miami if you want to leave an hour early for a twenty minute drive and still be late
10 June 2022 : can anyone who’s watched the matrix help me with this onepic.twitter.com/rcPJkJqRPq
10 June 2022 : i didn’t realize the bottle said not to lie down within ten minutes of taking these and my whole esophagus went to hell
10 June 2022 : yes i am watching finding dory please leave me alone i have had a very long week
12 June 2022 : happy fifteen years to riot by paramore and happy five years to hayley williams reading my essay about paramore and tweeting “well damn, claudia”https://twitter.com/claudiaposting/status/874378935680856064 …
12 June 2022 : microdosing despair by watching as my flight home to new york keeps getting delayed in ten minute increments
12 June 2022 : i wrote about @paramore's riot! (which turns ten today) for @MTVNews http://www.mtv.com/news/3019957/paramore-riot-tenth-anniversary/ …pic.twitter.com/BNeBH0b3r9
13 June 2022 : god i am so fucking happy to be back in brooklyn
13 June 2022 : shedding a single exhausted homesick tear in the back of this car passing a couple animatedly arguing outside a bodega on knickerbocker
14 June 2022 : i have graduated from the antibiotics that turned my esophagus into a super mario lava level
14 June 2022 : my next feat will be "maybe staying up for longer than an hour at a time and attempting to answer five thousand texts" relatedly i am so sorry if i haven't answered your texts
15 June 2022 : just kidding i slept all day
15 June 2022 : i say this humbly but my friends both care for and understand me deeply which is why i am currently in possession of over a hundred dollars in combined dunkin donuts gift cards
15 June 2022 : the sheer amount and variety of people who separately went "claudia is going through it, i know exactly what she needs,"
15 June 2022 : i am narrowing it down to this one thing not to erase the thousand other ways so many people have really been there for me the past couple of weeks, which i am deeply thankful for and will not list here, but because: i am very committed to telling on myself
15 June 2022 : doing cancel culture to camp trash due to their new song made me cryhttps://camptrash.bandcamp.com/track/lake-erie-boys …
15 June 2022 : here are my florida drafts and a photo of the dulce de leche donut i got from a miami dunx after thinking of getting one since 2015pic.twitter.com/pQ9vyhxrSb
15 June 2022 : why are dulce de leche donuts and guava donuts not a thing in the dunkin donuts homelands is it the same reason that girls in boston always asked me what my lip filler routine was (whiteness)
15 June 2022 : okay i miss the greater bosstones areahttps://twitter.com/oneunderscore__/status/1536773418699341825 …
15 June 2022 : if you are running with like you were cool as the soundtrack i have questions and hotlines
16 June 2022 : if you develop a crush on me i will spray you with water
16 June 2022 : if you don't bring me a publix sandwich when i see you for the first time in five years i am not talking to you (just kidding i can see how this is a TSA complication) (i am not kidding at all)
16 June 2022 : 1) running to attention all pickpockets is not any less concerning 2) just kidding this lineup rules 3) as with all things i say the initial reply was actually just a self-ownpic.twitter.com/vXEtpzElRF
16 June 2022 : oh 100%, all the unreleased tmg songs alone are an entire discography's worth of home run songs, it's bonkers (also! thank you!)
16 June 2022 : when i was in miami i flipped through my senior yearbook and one message began "claudia, throughout this year, your social justice has probably been one of the most infuriating things i've ever encountered,"
16 June 2022 : as usual i am not fuckign kiddingpic.twitter.com/B9ZphAHy9A
16 June 2022 : these are all correct but gasolina by daddy yankee is the most correct
16 June 2022 : when she was dropping me off at the airport my mom's parting words to me included "the neighbor said you can get really cheap flights through spirit if you only bring a backpack WHICH MEANS you can take a 24-hour trip here when Avatar 2 comes out"
16 June 2022 : please donate to my mom's gofundme so she is healthy enough to go see Avatar 2 when Avatar 2 comes outhttps://www.gofundme.com/f/help-claudia-conquer-cancer …
16 June 2022 : if you develop a crush on me i will spray you with water
16 June 2022 : thinkin about how in that little big league split with ovlov michelle zauner had that song that said "they ask 'are you still playing basement shows with the band? doing the music thing?' well yes i fucking am" and now she's japanese breakfast
16 June 2022 : i think my highest point in miami was when i couldn't stop crying and kept telling my mom "i look like a frog"
16 June 2022 : i am just very bloated for an indeterminate amount of time due to modern medicine and that is my right
16 June 2022 : :o you playin that baby's all right show?
16 June 2022 : when my friends say nice things about my playlists it makes me do a big smile
16 June 2022 : extremely good name
16 June 2022 : you Know me
16 June 2022 : i have turned a corner in recovering from medical stuff so of course i am setting myself back again by catching up on the releases i missed and allowing new future teens to absolutely bulldoze me
16 June 2022 : kind of concerning that future teens can't make a bad song AND YET all future teens songs are bad for me (just kidding) (we love catharsis) (and future teens)
16 June 2022 : @recentbedroom i am so tempted to try to go to this last-minute
16 June 2022 : evan,
16 June 2022 : i am rooting for you
16 June 2022 : is anyone free today to come over with a tazer and remind me i have bills to pay every time i open a new google search for "belle and sebastian resale tickets"
16 June 2022 : belle AND sebastian? in this economy?
16 June 2022 : the taser is non negotiable
16 June 2022 : i am being censored in the most egregious and painful way (can't heart react to texts on my laptop)
16 June 2022 : if i can't heart react i die
16 June 2022 : however many nods to this must be the place you think i have around my apartment/among my belongings it's more than that
16 June 2022 : your what
16 June 2022 : would like to thank my "on this day" functions for reminding me that one year ago i was photoshopping the MBTA 71 bus from harvard square to watertown into the poster for Speed (1994 dir. Jan de Bont)pic.twitter.com/DwgjHpOyPn
16 June 2022 : i never once had a bus driver on that route that was normal or respected life yes i do miss boston
17 June 2022 : spirit desire perfect song
17 June 2022 : i have been talking myself into and out of going to this since it was announced
17 June 2022 : on one hand you make a very compelling argument on the other i have done unspeakable things at the burren and fear what proximity to it may unlock in me
17 June 2022 : as a queer woman i think i should be taken out back and shot for being attracted to yung gravy during pride month
17 June 2022 : if you ever told me i should "really get into tik tok already" blood is on your hands
17 June 2022 : header image in the history textbook chapter about the she let me hit because i'm goofy phenomenon
17 June 2022 : if you are at the paul show where he brought out BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN and you are not my dear friend erin who i would never curse i am praying on your downfall
17 June 2022 :
17 June 2022 : los amigos/casa verde tie with chilacates, el jefe, and tenoch as runner-ups
17 June 2022 : i can't tell if i'm less or more insufferable to people who misses seasons one through four of claudia. don't answer
17 June 2022 : i have been watching "when will offline mode happen" drama on the notion subreddit for years and 40% of the reason i want it is just to be done with that
17 June 2022 : it is fridaypic.twitter.com/gP7P8592Sm
17 June 2022 : RT @tigersjaw : Bartees
17 June 2022 : yes the second top square is a yung gravy single no i have nothing to say for myself
17 June 2022 : on the plane the other day i felt such an intense pull to choose we bought a zoo from the movie lineup and was confused before i realized i've been microinfluenced
17 June 2022 : third one looks like pee wee herman's cousin
17 June 2022 : i think there should be an up up down down left right left right type thing for music apps but it's that if you listen to a particular combination of songs a cartoon gag boxing glove bursts from your device and punches you in the face
17 June 2022 : HELL YEAH SO HAPPY FOR U
17 June 2022 : thoughts prayers solidarity
17 June 2022 : one time flo rida was my high school's principal for a day. he performed that apple bottom jeans song in our gym. miami isn't a real place.
17 June 2022 : i think pitbull and jimmy buffett should collab. for me
17 June 2022 : doing an it's always sunny style murder board about how both i'll believe in anything by wolf parade and never drive by ringo deathstarr start with "give me your eyes"
17 June 2022 : today's thirty-two-ounce dunkies cold brew tastes like a cigarette puddle
17 June 2022 : and thank god for it
17 June 2022 : i feel the slightest tiniest bit like a human for the first time in weeks and now it is everyone’s problem pic.twitter.com/7hdsFKjzTF
17 June 2022 : the rumors are true
17 June 2022 : spirit desire perfect song
17 June 2022 : every phone call from a friend adds a year to my life if you do not want me to extend my reign of terror upon this realm do noT ring me up
17 June 2022 : assuming ten slices per pie probably 15ish?
17 June 2022 : this was me four years ago this month so whatever boring opinions you have about my bangs now i assure you: the situation has been worsepic.twitter.com/gPjrAkxmv4
17 June 2022 : almost had a moment of slight despair before remembering i have seen september performed live by earth wind and fire and therefore can no longer experience sorrow
17 June 2022 : so hard to find representation in culture that it's really painful when someone undergoes cosmetic change and erases the rare reflection you once had, or: my thinkpiece about why angel olsen growing out her bangs is oppressive. to me
17 June 2022 : for once i feel compelled to include an "i'm kidding" disclaimer because this is what you people actually sound like sometimes
17 June 2022 : one time flo rida was my high school's principal for a day. he performed that apple bottom jeans song in our gym. miami isn't a real place.
18 June 2022 : so afflicted by cabin fever i'm about to start making my jimmy buffett votive candle and my kermit frog piggy bank talk to each other like barbies
18 June 2022 : my juice policy is no pulp no gulp
18 June 2022 : okay but i’ve become SO obsessed with these in the last month or two big same
18 June 2022 : fifteen minutes into leaving the apartment for the first time since getting back, gave myself a “it’s fine you look like a swamp creature and not the hot kind you’re not going to run into anybody” pep talk, already got one “was that you on [bushwick street redacted]” message,
18 June 2022 : all to bring a book to the park where there is too much inescapably loud street preaching going on for me to be able to read if you have been praying on my downfall congratulations
18 June 2022 : happy annual national listen to stab yer dad by spoonboy a lot weekend
18 June 2022 : hello www brooklyn dot com who is going to the flasher show at baby’s tonight
18 June 2022 : 80% chance of claudia at the gig, see you there maybe!
18 June 2022 : woman of bloated experience
18 June 2022 : i know i post about this a lot but i assure you i truly wish i were making it up every single timepic.twitter.com/pIikSaEz03
18 June 2022 : i support you
18 June 2022 : mike if you don't text me who this is
18 June 2022 : so close yet so far hmu if you need recs for anything
18 June 2022 : i keep explaining four-digit expenses to people in relation to the estimated cost of w*ll toledo's fursuit
18 June 2022 : feelin very don't-hesitate-by-mary-oliver
19 June 2022 : CUTE
19 June 2022 : cool and good that the night i chance a quick chill outing even though i can’t raise my heart rate (doctor’s orders) is also the night i get a little physical assault surprise on the walk home
19 June 2022 : i’m fine and home safe and one small grievance away from a villain arc
19 June 2022 : yeah i’ve really improved that number it was regularly in the 300s and up for years
19 June 2022 : i got food after this and didn’t get assaulted once while i was stomping down broadway with an unsheathed burger in my hand so maybe that is my safety practice now
19 June 2022 : as they should
19 June 2022 : okay so it's not just me
19 June 2022 : if she's your girl then why is she at my show watching waiting commiserating
19 June 2022 : every summer i am newly owned by @alisousa4’s years-ago observation that one of my most enduring types is “tall weirdos in short shorts”
19 June 2022 : RT @MagFieldsBot : I, even I, know the solution Love, music, wine, and revolution
19 June 2022 : if she's your girl then why is she at my show watching waiting commiserating
19 June 2022 : iconic
19 June 2022 : there is a day every dying spring where you walk out the door and just know in your heart it’s time for your first constructive summer by the hold steady listen of the year
19 June 2022 : happy father’s day to everyone whose favorite mtn goats album is the sunset tree
19 June 2022 : okay but actually in large part i luv father’s day now because i’ve gotten to see so many of my friends be and become very good dads, big ups to dads
19 June 2022 : world’s greatest dad
20 June 2022 : incorrect
20 June 2022 : one day i will actually manage to make it half an hour into a conversation without saying something that demands i explain my [redacted] past life
20 June 2022 : "we are our only saviors / we're gonna build something this summer" damn so tru craig finn
20 June 2022 : hell yeah
20 June 2022 : it's the third stupid gorgeous day in a row + i thought it was the first day of summer but it's the last day of spring + i walked around all morning + i'm feelin emotional re: how GOOD the season has been 2 me + how much i love new york + the simple fact of being very happy
20 June 2022 : as someone likely pursuing sterilization within the next year i am so viscerally embarrassed at just the thought of being even distantly associated with /r/childfree type weirdos who never grew beyond the week in middle school they found out about the word misanthrope. find godhttps://twitter.com/christianacici/status/1538434823022432258 …
20 June 2022 : the pocket change part rules but also i got second degree burns from the sun last year and it was The most pain i've ever experienced (probably because i couldn't get treatment) and i hope you're doing okay/get well super soon!
20 June 2022 : the 1pm having a doom spiral about everything in your life to 2pm realizing you forgot to eat and are running on cold brew and brain drugs pipeline
20 June 2022 : hypothetically
20 June 2022 : i am on doctor’s orders to walk at a leisurely pace instead of with my usual obnoxious urgency and at this point i am ready to risk it all for a little speed
20 June 2022 : correct
20 June 2022 : completely failed to slip me book into my tote on the way out the door so now i am sitting at the park JOURNALING while wearing a funeral (2004) t-shirt. humiliating
20 June 2022 : “as you know” ryan i have never seen you in shorts but i believe you
20 June 2022 : do i go to philadelphia for the gig tomorrow
21 June 2022 : thinking about the nicest thing anybody has ever said about mepic.twitter.com/utYmdA83fE
21 June 2022 : presently my body is not a wonderland
21 June 2022 : man i get such real joy and value and reflection out of reading old journal entries; i get so bummed about the large gaps over the years (most recently: i documented zilch from march to mid-june thanks to garbage brain) but i'm tryna use that as a reminder 2 be more consistent
21 June 2022 : the one i'm on now i started on 4/21/21, a wednesday, at 7:56 AM, on my desk back in somerville, and the first sentence is "i am scared and i'm not letting it stop me" that's right bitch
21 June 2022 : i have one fear in this world and it is that the new crj will just be like a chill album
21 June 2022 : i'll chill when i'm good and dead and maybe not even then
21 June 2022 : julian this is just stockholm syndrome
21 June 2022 : that anonymous question thing going around on instagram stories has undone within me a decade of tumblr/formspring suppression i worked so hard on
21 June 2022 : anyway put questions messages proposals or threats in http://ngl.link/claudia.jpegs
21 June 2022 : yes but because i have don't learn from my mistakes disease i want to see what the toxic chaos is like now that i have a big strong frontal cortex
21 June 2022 : most of today was me doing anxiety so depending on your intentions you can either say nice things or make it worse but no matter what you say it won't be as bad as grown adults sending fourteen-year-old me anonymous death threats over my glee posts
21 June 2022 : i can’t stop laughing about this message i got on the tumblr revival trend because people really just put words together sometimespic.twitter.com/xhOf8DXPPW
21 June 2022 : people keep saying that the anonymous instagram thing is a bad idea and to that i say: yes but i luv learning the wild things people assume about me. and attention
21 June 2022 : it is illegal to not listen to june 21st by jeff rosenstock today
21 June 2022 : "it's beautiful out there's nothing i'd rather do than slay the nightmare arm in arm with you" is the most romantic line and i mean that on a platonic level too
21 June 2022 : happy summer day one this is where i'm putting songs for summer shuffling https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4XweyR7k0mWxU6dlUDINlE?si=7020ce407dad4c5b …
21 June 2022 : okay but you have to come to new york for it
21 June 2022 : it is a work in progress forever and both extremely methodical and incredibly arbitrary
21 June 2022 : is the fact that i've moved away from monthly playlists toward seasonal ones growth or decline? who's 2 say
21 June 2022 : my brain is putting me through it this week that's the whole tweet
21 June 2022 : i'm going to start a campaign to get everyone in boston to come to the nyc gami show instead
21 June 2022 : over a wellbutrin type beat
21 June 2022 : drafts / drafterpic.twitter.com/hn6tANKR48
21 June 2022 : thinking about the nicest thing anybody has ever said about mepic.twitter.com/utYmdA83fE
21 June 2022 : i'm so excited for summer what the fuck is wrong with me
21 June 2022 : see u in the pit
21 June 2022 : this part sucked!!! definitely get different quotes, or post about it in a mutual aid/community group if you don’t have a bunch of super fragile stuff
21 June 2022 : once again straight up SNIPED by the aquarius one
21 June 2022 : i thought astrology didn't apply 2 me until i finally did my chart and realized i was a leo rising and immediately made so much more sense to myself
21 June 2022 : this is less the stars' fault and more a result of people being fucking weirdos about aquariuses which is why i exclusively read @MmeClairevoyant horoscopes which are scarily relevant and precise week in and week out
21 June 2022 : the point of this thread is read claire's work
22 June 2022 : all i do at work is say “as per”
22 June 2022 : what’s better than this. blues being clues
22 June 2022 : i can fight
22 June 2022 : if she's your girl why is she singing into my mouth
22 June 2022 : why is she lifting up her wings
22 June 2022 : RT @echovessel : you’re in her dms. i’m just an animal looking for a home. we are not the same
22 June 2022 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JccW-mLdNe0 …
22 June 2022 : correct
22 June 2022 : sent a text before realizing emu oil autocorrected to emo oil
22 June 2022 : yes the fact that i write "emo" enough for my phone to autocorrect to it is its own humiliation
22 June 2022 : what’s better than this. blues being clues
22 June 2022 : i changed the reply permissions because this wasn't a fishing tweet so know that this will be the only ever reply to it
22 June 2022 : if you've ever called a woman mid you've never had sex and that's just science
22 June 2022 : i am posting too much and it's because i'm on day four of my brain holding me hostage babyyy let's get this dread
22 June 2022 : RT @elizamclamb : I let him hit cause he has an inherent sense of whimsy
22 June 2022 : favorite band forever / always gonna be a little lil bit o hatp magic dust + pledge spell guidance in everything i do forever / thankful forever HAPPY TWENTY miss u
22 June 2022 : the original is on my "how simple my heart can be" playlist so i approve of this move actually
22 June 2022 : gansett in florida is claudia rights
22 June 2022 : go off joe
23 June 2022 : lmao but also get well soon homie
25 June 2022 : first of all are you okay. second of all let's be friends
25 June 2022 : i know this will out me as doomscrolling at seven a.m. but the inevitable "consequences of your actions" and "close… https://t.co/EolOY6qPc5
25 June 2022 : @JoannaNewSum41 flat
29 June 2022 : RT @er0b : “@er0b hottee w/ a coffee ❤️‍🔥”"
29 June 2022 : “if you have a 💞 next to your contact name in my phone you are my homie of the heart for life”"
29 June 2022 : “where should i take an impromptu i-apparently-have-a-four-day-weekend trip to”"
30 June 2022 : “you could probably power entire cities off of how proud i am of my friends all the time always, monsters inc style”"
30 June 2022 : “siri play homies by insane clown posse”"
30 June 2022 : RT @isawken : “RT @isawken:”"
30 June 2022 : “first 50% of 2022 tops babyyy aka for the nth year in a row i am on a taylor swift/mannequin pussy/exactly one song by caroline polachek/crj/stop making sense bender”"
30 June 2022 : “i miss new england”"
30 June 2022 : “independence day weekend is the national celebration of independence from waiting for the camp trash debut album (out tomorrow) (i hate america so much)”"
30 June 2022 : “the group chat is in shambles”"
30 June 2022 : RT @alisousa4 : “@alisousa4 “all mine” 😭”"
1 July 2022 : RT @rad_rabbit_ : “@rad_rabbit_ good luck gwen!!! i’m so excited for you and crossing my fingers for an easy peasy recovery”"
1 July 2022 : “@megathornberry he was just so upset. i’m rooting for him. this is the chickpea toast place we need to come here so you can here the insane words that get put together out loud”"
1 July 2022 : “both very sleepy and very anxious which means if i have a second cold bru it will either fix all my problems or ruin my life”"
1 July 2022 : “nothing happened i'm just listening to mean by taylor swift”"
1 July 2022 : “i moved to new york city one year ago today after daydreaming about it — something i long assumed impossible, out of my reach — my whole life anyway here’s me with the statue of liberty as a child tourist and adult citizen siri play mean by taylor swift”"
1 July 2022 : “@megathornberry 😭”"
2 July 2022 : “RT @CLAUDIAPOSTING: if i elect to be around you without my eyeliner on it is like when cats close their eyes at you”"
2 July 2022 : “if stars are blind by paris hilton isn’t on your summer playlist it’s not a summer playlist it is a farce”"
2 July 2022 : “the venn diagram of people saying shit like "i don't have plans for the fourth i'm not a fucking republican" and people who actually care about or engage in antifascism is two circles in different solar systems”"
3 July 2022 : “today's act of extraordinary customer service at [coffee shop redacted] is that some guy was trying to ask me out after my shift and i told him to see if there was a table available in the very back and while he was looking i speed-walked right out and caught the bus home”"
3 July 2022 : RT @_juhmichael : “@_juhmichael i think bands usually literal oceans away get immediate multi-show justification”"
3 July 2022 : “RT @CLAUDIAPOSTING: today's act of extraordinary customer service at [coffee shop redacted] is that some guy was trying to ask me out after…”"
3 July 2022 : “next emoji drop should have a combination 😈🥰 one for when you are up to little schemes with the goal of making your loved ones smile”"
3 July 2022 : “so touching that my friends wish me the best on holidays i’m so lucky”"
4 July 2022 : “jacked up that every time i have a rough brain patch i have to find my way back to reconstruction site by the weakerthans again like it's the first time instead of immediately remembering it's almost always what will set me straight”"
4 July 2022 : having a that’s so raven momwnt about how hard i’m going to regret not having bug spray tonigjt
4 July 2022 : RT @nowah : “@nowah “what is your emergency” “i don’t think i’m ready for this jelly””"
5 July 2022 : “crying at a subway station is so much less dignified than crying on the train. humiliating”"
5 July 2022 : “that terf nonsense did more damage to my experience of and relationship to womanhood than inclusive language ever has or will (the impact of the latter being: less than zero)”"
5 July 2022 : “it is cool and good to see clear evidence of yr hard-fought growth before u”"
5 July 2022 : “what would i do without future teens”"
5 July 2022 : “@Eschumer i look forward to being insufferable together 🤝”"
5 July 2022 : “@Driftwould2 like in a disturbed down with the sickness way”"
5 July 2022 : “@jamefaqs 🫡”"
5 July 2022 : “it's so sick and tight when the weather matches your emotion of the day. the overcast gloom is, like all things, about me”"
5 July 2022 : “all day i've been trying to find an interesting way to say that i'm sad so that at least the sadness can feel useful which maybe means i really am fixin to write again”"
5 July 2022 : RT @maryonthecouch : “@maryonthecouch extremely cute❗️”"
5 July 2022 : “i grumble about my apartment a lot but it is situated in a way that allows me to go to birdy’s while my laundry is cooking three doors down which is in itself worth it”"
6 July 2022 : RT @frond_wbenefits : “@frond_wbenefits which one do i live in”"
6 July 2022 : RT @frond_wbenefits : “@frond_wbenefits what have i ever done to you in my life”"
6 July 2022 : “if i don't get to see woof parade perform i'll believe in anything live before i die i'll die”"
6 July 2022 : “RT @CLAUDIAPOSTING: shock collar for every time i use an em dash”"
6 July 2022 : “if you’re wondering how many brain cells i’ve been working with lately, whenever i made this entry my brain apparently decided that my plans for wednesday were: wednesday”"
6 July 2022 : “"wednesday" so true claudia”"
6 July 2022 : “i'm still pissed off about like nine years ago when someone implied i was getting into bands because they were in the same orbit as some man like on top of the projection and teen girl misogyny i will not have my 3am bandcamp tag rabbit holes disrespected like that”"
6 July 2022 : “RT @CLAUDIAPOSTING: i have decided to be insufferable this summer prepare to be sick of me”"
6 July 2022 : “@Skatunenetwork thank you for your support”"
6 July 2022 : “only recently realized how funny it was that my high school newspaper was named the viper vibe. i really went around introducing myself as "editor-in-chief of the vibe"”"
6 July 2022 : “@echovessel 🫡”"
6 July 2022 : RT @echovessel : “RT @echovessel: @CLAUDIAPOSTING claudia you are editor in chief of the vibe, but not the newspaper, just the general energy”"
6 July 2022 : “greet death is just so fucking good”"
6 July 2022 : oh my god is arcade fire going to beat my "most times i've seen the same band in one year" record
6 July 2022 : “it will surprise no one to know that the current top spot is held by the goat boys (the actual top band is exempt because no one will ever beat that count)”"
6 July 2022 : “at this point in time you could persuade me to go to any city to see them (currently doing nyc/boston/dc) to contribute to the mountain-goats-dethroning cause because i have lost my damng mind”"
6 July 2022 : “word for the phenomenon of intense joy resulting from remembering that fall out boy finally put out a listenable version of lake effect kid a few years back”"
6 July 2022 : “@TheJulianGomez that’s me”"
6 July 2022 : “@seasalt_bae how what”"
7 July 2022 : “do you think ricotta and pineapple is a sick and twisted pizza topping combination”"
7 July 2022 : RT @er0b : “@er0b 🥵”"
7 July 2022 : “lmaoing my ass off about the soy milk line in the new 1975”"
7 July 2022 : “it's disco nap season”"
7 July 2022 : “@megathornberry https://t.co/HUS3O5IFCV”"
7 July 2022 : RT @laynemontgomery : “@laynemontgomery please ask before taking or posting photos of me”"
7 July 2022 : “the disco nap… failed me”"
7 July 2022 : “is it really a zine if i don't cry while making it”"
8 July 2022 : “emo oil”"
8 July 2022 : “thinking about when i told a guy "i can be a very acquiescent person because of my trau—" and he interrupted with "i know, that's one of my favorite things about you"🧍🏻‍♀️”"
8 July 2022 : “do not date men you meet working at a bookstore”"
8 July 2022 : “first week of july type beat”"
8 July 2022 : “please for the love of god send me questions better than this one https://t.co/FCNqY6MylD (answers on claudia.jpegs on ig)”"
8 July 2022 : “there are so many ways you can try to bait me into writing a mountain goats essay and this is not one of them”"
8 July 2022 : “@EvanOutOfTen people like this are why i'm never going to hear going to georgia live”"
8 July 2022 : “it's so important to see yourself represented in media. that's why, in this essay about the fish in finding nemo that says "i'm obnoxious,"”"
8 July 2022 : “the best new york literature is happening on craigslist”"
8 July 2022 : “thinking about when someone got my handwriting tattooed on her body and i was still like "this crush is unrequited"”"
8 July 2022 : “@chris_conqueso what”"
8 July 2022 : “i am going to avoid my problems the best way i know how: by buying a giant sandwich”"
9 July 2022 : “listening to a song you thought you could never listen to again and finding new n brilliant joy in it is like your heart doing a cool skateboard trick”"
9 July 2022 : RT @megathornberry : “@megathornberry what i am historically disastrously early please do not look to me for this lesson i will lead you astray and i will lead you there at doors time https://t.co/XeimwQ4ReN”"
9 July 2022 : RT @megathornberry : “@megathornberry a blessing, a curse,”"
9 July 2022 : “just saw someone wearing short shorts that say “god won’t let me die” across the ass i luv ny”"
9 July 2022 : “hi @God when am i gonna learn to not be """on time""" for shows please respond”"
10 July 2022 : “of all people to make eye contact with in the middle of a conversation with my friends at the brooklyn bar did it have to be the guy from boston tinder who offered me $200 for my used socks one year and $100 the next”"
10 July 2022 : “i forget not everyone grew up on the internet until i'm saying shit like "yeah, i have a call with my dear friend — known him for probably close to fifteen years now, would k-word for him, would tell him anything — this is going to be our first time hearing each other's voices"”"
10 July 2022 : “it is only by the grace of god that i am not a drunk texter”"
11 July 2022 : “u ever cry a lil on the B38 bus back home bc you had such a good weekend n the sun is setting n you’re catchin blurry glimpses of lives out the window n i feel it all by feist just came on shuffle n everything you’ve ever grown through plays in yr head n you love new york so much”"
11 July 2022 : “@leyarburns the b stands for baptism”"
11 July 2022 : “everyone in new york be my friend challenge”"
11 July 2022 : “if you went to college that's like nepotism but for adult friendship”"
11 July 2022 : “@sweatylamarr yes pleasE !”"
11 July 2022 : “one hour into thinking about the sandwich i’m gonna get tomorrow i have remembered they’re closed on mondays. pain”"
11 July 2022 : RT @MmeClairevoyant : “@MmeClairevoyant as usual you have a direct line to my brain and heart what the fuck”"
11 July 2022 : “another Bleed Out single another day i look north and give thanks to the big guy for answering my "dear santa mountain goats record produced by alicia bognanno i've been so good" pleas”"
11 July 2022 : RT @xtineengels : “@xtineengels i always want to know which book people like this name as their favorite because i'm positive they don't actually have one (or any real opinions) or it's something that outs them as fundamentally miserable lmao”"
11 July 2022 : “@mbetterpeaches fuckin absolutely”"
11 July 2022 : RT @lucyibutcher : “@lucyibutcher um WHAT”"
11 July 2022 : “just legitimately jumpscared myself in the mirror because i forgot i got my bangs trimmed earlier”"
11 July 2022 : “that's right , i GET my bangs trimmed now , instead of cutting them myself over the sink while playing drunk ii by mannequin pussy on a loop ,”"
11 July 2022 : “bangs reveal feat. i sweat half my eyeliner off”"
12 July 2022 : RT @certaintragedy : “@certaintragedy solidarity as someone who also has mood ring in their tops 🤧”"
12 July 2022 : “failed state”"
12 July 2022 : “i have added "collective action" to the list of activities i have had to talk to my doctor about being cleared for”"
12 July 2022 : “the list started with mosh pits”"
12 July 2022 : “taking a brief break from being consumed by anger and sorrow to laugh at myself for having yung gravy in my tops for the third week in a row”"
12 July 2022 : “it is a personal and somehow racist slight to me that netflix matilda does not have bangs”"
12 July 2022 : “what is the DSM entry for "white noise is incredibly distracting to me actually"”"
12 July 2022 : “@mossbinch extremely”"
12 July 2022 : “i genuinely think it's going to be more of a hassle for me to get bruce springsteen tickets than it was to immigrate to the u.s.a. (invented by bruce springsteen in 1984)”"
12 July 2022 : “i'm like a girlboss but for overthinking”"
12 July 2022 : “I Need To Run Out For A Quick Thing But I Do Not Want To Put On Sunscreen And It Is Too Hot For A Jacket”"
12 July 2022 : “so interesting how spirit desire by tigers jaw is the only song that exists”"
12 July 2022 : “i can't believe i let a man from massachusetts make everlong unlistenable to me for like sixteen months of my life”"
13 July 2022 : “in the hipaa-protected chat app being asked for elaboration having to explain "well all the times i went to protests in the last few years i have had to run at some point, usually from police, sometimes from police cars,"”"
13 July 2022 : “jeez louise i love my friends so much”"
13 July 2022 : RT @_mustlovefrogs : “@_mustlovefrogs thinking of you ❤️”"
13 July 2022 : “every june i think about ali telling geena “i can’t believe you thought claudia was straight; she wore a rainbow button-down to the carly rae jepsen concert””"
13 July 2022 : “it's good to feel like a teen sometimes”"
13 July 2022 : “mutual monday what was the last song to make you cry (good or bad)”"
13 July 2022 : @chris_conqueso people who don't cry abt drunk ii are not people who understand me !
13 July 2022 : “if you have ever said something about my lips (other than in between kissing me) or been suprised that i don't like spicy food you have to venmo me right now”"
13 July 2022 : @certaintragedy this is a good reminder that i need to get a camp cope ticket
13 July 2022 : “@casseroleboy levi why do we have the same brain this is one of my favorite songs in the wurld”"
13 July 2022 : “@chris_conqueso i think this is going to be the first in three years that my top played from them isn't d2 by miles which is a record i didn't think would ever be broken”"
13 July 2022 : “@TonksNtheAurors s o o n”"
13 July 2022 : “i can't wait to come out of doctor-mandated pit retirement”"
13 July 2022 : “perhaps the biggest privilege in my life is that when people try to defend jkr to me i can literally pull the "i spent like a third of my life as a h*rry p*tter professional what are your credentials" card”"
13 July 2022 : “@BostonMassaker god that song BODIES me”"
13 July 2022 : “it is very validating and comforting when people tell me it's hard to make friends as an adult in big cities when you didn't go 2 college / don't have an office job but it does not fix the problem of it is hard to make friends as an adult in big cities when y”"
13 July 2022 : “and by "an office job" i mean "an in person job" i truly wish i could go back to just working at restaurants all the time haHa”"
13 July 2022 : RT @garlicemoji : “@garlicemoji this makes me want a theme park ride letterboxd”"
13 July 2022 : RT @garlicemoji : “@garlicemoji i'm :o”"
13 July 2022 : “attached you'll find my resume,”"
13 July 2022 : “@echovessel artifact from our FEUDING YEARS”"
13 July 2022 : “making it seem like i post about everything going on in my life but not actually posting about most things going on in my life is good for self-preservation but bad for "i have such a good tweet about ******* ******** out of my body or ******* ** ****"”"
13 July 2022 : RT @EvanOutOfTen : “@EvanOutOfTen IN HONOR OF”"
13 July 2022 : “@alisousa4 🔫”"
13 July 2022 : “peeking at a touring band's recent setlistfm entries and discovering they're OPENING with one of the songs that absolutely destroys u ...... extremely ralph_wiggum_im_in_danger.jpg”"
13 July 2022 : “this is about keep growing by camp cope”"
14 July 2022 : “the new beths single is a human rights violation of my right to not get choked up in a coffee shop”"
14 July 2022 : “every day i live with the heavy pain of bushwick being a boba desert”"
14 July 2022 : RT @echovessel : “@echovessel that’s fucking right”"
14 July 2022 : “sometimes you get caught smiling at your phone in public and it’s like , i’d rather you’d just seen me naked in this coffee shop instead , it would have been less revealing ,”"
15 July 2022 : “went up to the venue bar and said “i’m just gonna have a narragansett” and the bartender was like “JUST a narragansett? it’s not JUST a narragansett. i don’t serve JUST narragansetts. say it with pride. you gotta commit.” so i have a new lease on life”"
15 July 2022 : RT @megathornberry : “@megathornberry it's coming from like the direction our windows face but further away”"
15 July 2022 : “dreams by the cranberries is for late spring early summer linger by the cranberries is for late summer early fall”"
15 July 2022 : “@ohheycarina fucK”"
15 July 2022 : “the superweakerthans. is this anything”"
15 July 2022 : “i am very excited to see another nana griz*l solo set on monday but it also comes as a reminder that i have been cursed to never cross a full band show off my bucket list because when i finally got the opportunity i was too busy being a h*rry p*tter professional that night”"
15 July 2022 : “@TixDog godspeed”"
15 July 2022 : “i don’t know why i used that emoji here, arguably exclusively a horny emoji,”"
15 July 2022 : “@chris_conqueso okay mostly i am just telling on myself here”"
15 July 2022 : “oh wait i remembered it’s because for some reason i had a complete mental breakdown alone in a hotel room at the end of vidcon (lmao) (it was a work trip) and for some reason i kept playing this song. 21 was a rough year”"
15 July 2022 : “@lindshhh it is becoming clear to me that this is a me problem”"
15 July 2022 : “i am never coming back to this coffee shop again”"
15 July 2022 : “big shorts 👍”"
15 July 2022 : “@echovessel long but sideways”"
15 July 2022 : “the best and most ominous npc in my life is the middle-aged puerto rican man who is always doing leisurely laps around maria hernandez park in bushwick carrying a speaker the size of a cooler and it’s always always absolutely blasting bring me to life by evanescence”"
15 July 2022 : “i know he has a plot-advancing quest for me but i am not ready for it”"
16 July 2022 : “hello. today i forgot the word for forecast and said i was looking at “spoilers for the weather””"
16 July 2022 : “i extremely slept on camp cope's newest and that's on me”"
16 July 2022 : “finally going through and cleaning up my screenshots and this remains one of the funniest "name three songs" type messages i've ever gotten”"
16 July 2022 : “in my high school google drive and i am so scared to open this”"
16 July 2022 : “even when i am not getting myself into a situation i am getting myself into a situation”"
16 July 2022 : “due to my trauma (mountain goats three show run) brooklyn made venue bar gives me fight or flight”"
16 July 2022 : “at no fault of the band , those shows , were fucked”"
17 July 2022 : RT @_juhmichael : “@_juhmichael so true”"
17 July 2022 : “i’m the ceo of finding the person at the bar that also lived in boston”"
17 July 2022 : “@midsenjoyer sometimes i am the those”"
17 July 2022 : “if you don’t see pony the band on tour you are sick in the head”"
17 July 2022 : “@meliorism i have some greet death fomo for sure but i saw them at saint vitus a few weeks back and need additional time to recover from how hard they r*ckec”"
17 July 2022 : “@meliorism YEAH infant island fucking killed it at that show; glad you caught them though!”"
17 July 2022 : “catch gig meet friend hang out buy merch enter pit leave pit leave gig just in time to avoid guy who kept trying to ask you out be in bed by midnight............ .. you may not like it but this is what peak claudia performance looks like”"
17 July 2022 : “@tylerboudy i was about to say "did EVERYONE i know see dead and co." before remembering what company was”"
17 July 2022 : “virtute signaling (when i indicate i listen to plea from a cat named virtute by the weakerthans a lot)”"
17 July 2022 : “virtue signaling is when you tell on yourself about not knowing the weakerthans cat’s actual name”"
17 July 2022 : “pov you had two (2) beers but you’re a lightweight who stopped drinking for two months and also forgot you’re on meds that amplify your drunkness”"
17 July 2022 : “if the nana grizol set gets rained out tomorrow i will cry. if it doesn't get rained out i will also cry but that is due to the songs”"
17 July 2022 : “i guess if it gets rained out i will not have to deal with the particular humiliation of having a giant "cynicism isn't wisdom" tattoo at the gig which is like the deluxe version of wearing a band's t-shirt to their show”"
17 July 2022 : “it's always "so hot you're hurting my feelings" and never "you're so hot; how are you feeling?"”"
17 July 2022 : “me at the lucy show in central park this week: and then THIS patch of fake grass is where i legitimately really truly thought i was going to die in the joyce manor pit but it's good i survived because i wouldn't have been alive for the encore when they covered i saw water,”"
18 July 2022 : “i am good at managing myself”"
18 July 2022 : “from now on any time i take a video at a show and the band reposts it i'm going to venmo request them fifty cents. fingers crossed they respond and do the right thing”"
18 July 2022 : “there's people that are dying”"
18 July 2022 : “they're retweeting your ass on retweeting twitter”"
19 July 2022 : “every day i love to feed coffee coins into the slot machine of my anxiety and hear it go ding ding ding”"
19 July 2022 : “and i wish people engaging in brainwormed post-tumblr "why is there so much SEX on my TELEVISION suddenly" and "no sexuality whatsoever at pride" and general vocal sex negativity would rub two braincells together and see what they're actually saying and the company they're in”"
19 July 2022 : “having said that i am pulling myself out of the doomscrolling spiral by tapping my phone on the nfc tag that triggers a lizzo/pitbull/megan thee stallion/etc playlist to autoplay from my speaker and then go read love poems at a coffee shop. bitch”"
19 July 2022 : “this seems more ominous than it is it's just my only free night in a packed week and i am already in this moment deeply sleep deprived”"
19 July 2022 : “if u go on a date with someone from philly you Have to ask the about m*na's w*rld that's the rules”"
19 July 2022 : RT @ws_moron : “@ws_moron the concussion was your spider-man spider bite but for wordle skills”"
19 July 2022 : RT @er0b : “@er0b clown behavior”"
19 July 2022 : “i have entered my voice memo era and now all of my loved ones have to deal with small claudia podcasts”"
19 July 2022 : “if i have your number and you want to subscribe to the impromptu one-minute audience-of-one claudia podcast text me an emoji and i will get back to u”"
19 July 2022 : “@frond_wbenefits :(”"
19 July 2022 : “few times i want to k word "this is a problem for future me" claudia as bad as when i am trying to take the duvet cover off but i tripple-knotted everything. i'm talking boy scouts”"
19 July 2022 : “doing alchemy (seeing if one IPA will cancel out the cold brew that put me over my limit earlier)”"
19 July 2022 : “same bartender second night in a row and she asked me how my date went last night so i have to move states change my name bleach my hair and start over”"
20 July 2022 : “what if we kissed in the failed state”"
20 July 2022 : RT @seasalt_bae : “@seasalt_bae you are but why now”"
20 July 2022 : “despite applying to all the new york area bruce springsteen shows i ended up getting ticketmaster sale verified fan status for: minnesota”"
20 July 2022 : “i truly have no memory of adding this to my requested shows but honestly it sounds like me”"
20 July 2022 : “did ANYONE get ny/nj emails or have they just not dropped yet”"
20 July 2022 : “is there superstition around "good luck" for all performers or is that just theater. if i'm wishing someone well on their gig what do i say. break a string”"
20 July 2022 : “lomsing my dang mind about fireworks being on the wonder years tour lineup”"
20 July 2022 : RT @er0b : “@er0b siri play black heart by carly rae jepsen”"
20 July 2022 : RT @parshally_there : “@parshally_there yeah”"
20 July 2022 : “i'm so excited 2 finally see camp cope tonight 🥲”"
20 July 2022 : “bereal caught me eating 2pm breakfast ice cream i'm done with this app”"
20 July 2022 : “sometimes u have google maps open in one tab and accuweather in another and suddenly you're going through the five stages of grief resigning yourself to your inevitable fate of: you're going to show up to a date really sweaty”"
21 July 2022 : RT @erinisaway : “@erinisaway hard yes”"
21 July 2022 : “everyone i know who consistently engages in collective action also consistently shows up to vote, including in “”small”” elections, and often organize around those elections in efforts that i will bet real money run circles around what any smug armchair libs will do in a lifetime”"
21 July 2022 : “another show, another girl telling me i’m “so inspirational” for doing my eyeliner drunk in the after show ladiez bathroom”"
21 July 2022 : “who am i seeing at the lucy / hop along show 2nite”"
21 July 2022 : “this is a trick question no one will be seeing me after i have to hear the line "how simple my heart can be frightens me" live because it will k word me”"
21 July 2022 : RT @futureteensusa : “@futureteensusa 👀👀👀”"
21 July 2022 : “forgive me lord i am getting into $10-a-pint ice cream”"
21 July 2022 : “@TonksNtheAurors literally a tweet about jeni’s 🧠🤝🧠”"
21 July 2022 : RT @apple_britters : “@apple_britters thoughts and prayers”"
21 July 2022 : “https://t.co/uj99uhgveR”"
21 July 2022 : “oh my goD i left the wallet in the uber home from webster hall so now i have to face the nice lady who had to put up with like twenty minutes of me drunkenly rambling to my date and CRYING ABOUT MARGARITAVILLE i am just going to change my whole identity instead”"
21 July 2022 : “they’re playing future me hates me as house music at the hop along/lucy show in an attack on me personally”"
22 July 2022 : “good validation that i have kept in touch with the right people from miami is that i thought i would get pushback on where to reunite with one of my closest high school friends for the first time in five years and instead:”"
22 July 2022 : “NFT? the other song by semisonic?”"
22 July 2022 : “the actual official nyc tote isn’t the new yorker’s it’s the yellow trader joe’s one”"
22 July 2022 : RT @casseroleboy : “@casseroleboy have you listened to downtown boys? a wall / wave of history / monstro are good entry points if not”"
22 July 2022 : “@ws_moron mike noo”"
22 July 2022 : “respectfully i should be in more group chats than i presently am”"
22 July 2022 : “i'm annoying but in an entertaining way”"
22 July 2022 : “@sarahabtw yes”"
22 July 2022 : RT @folkpunx : “@folkpunx please give me tips on doing this because i'm at 22k lmao”"
22 July 2022 : “in many ways this is the actual story of my week”"
22 July 2022 : “@TixDog i think you're one of like three people who has the full lore”"
22 July 2022 : RT @RaxKingIsDead : “@RaxKingIsDead sorry to be this weirdo but i'm laughin because i took a photo in this exact mirror LAST friday after (non-financially) crying and then i had a very good week so i hope the same turn awaits u”"
22 July 2022 : RT @bemyserene : “@bemyserene bonus points were earned”"
23 July 2022 : “it actually rules to be alive and be capable of both joy and heartache. unfortunately”"
23 July 2022 : “@dimwizzy yeah”"
23 July 2022 : “what are songs that make u feel like spirit desire by tigers jaw”"
23 July 2022 : “no offense but friendship is so cool”"
23 July 2022 : “playlist titled OOPS with description UH OH”"
23 July 2022 : “lil wallet loser taking her whole passport to the club”"
23 July 2022 : “i'm at the pizza hut / i'm at the taco bell / i threw a wish in the well / don't ask me i'll never tell”"
24 July 2022 : RT @megathornberry : “@megathornberry was it someone riding the subway again”"
24 July 2022 : RT @jerlikecher : “@jerlikecher i truly actually cried during every song of their set this week lmao”"
25 July 2022 : “i have said the word margaritaville a minimum of three times every single day of the past week”"
25 July 2022 : “and in so many different contexts”"
25 July 2022 : “@valerie2776 smaller”"
25 July 2022 : “makin plans and crushin cans”"
26 July 2022 : RT @JoannaNewSum41 : “@JoannaNewSum41 today i had a diet coke instead of beer at margaritaville in new york city”"
26 July 2022 : RT @paydaygay : “@paydaygay PLEASE”"
27 July 2022 : “girl along the dyke march route wearing an “i’m with her” aileen wuornos shirt call me”"
27 July 2022 : “lyft driver finished playing a jay z album and immediately, manually put on billy joel this guy LOVES new york”"
27 July 2022 : RT @chris_conqueso : “@chris_conqueso damn no boston date what if all my friends came to brooklyn instead ,,,,,,”"
27 July 2022 : “@thenickguy come to the gig, nick❗️”"
27 July 2022 : RT @thenickguy : “@thenickguy HELL YEAH”"
27 July 2022 : “i’m seeing the wonder years in massachusetts now so i am coming out of palladium retirement to kiss several friends and perhaps some enemies on the forehead while in the pit”"
27 July 2022 : RT @thenickguy : “@thenickguy i felt ancient at the last ft show i went to so we’ll all be old and emo together”"
28 July 2022 : “i am so in love with nu york city”"
28 July 2022 : “i am creating a treasure hunt for myself by losing/leaving pieces of jewelry and other personal effects across the five boroughs”"
28 July 2022 : RT @peytonology : “@peytonology cutie!!!”"
28 July 2022 : “ali just called me the ceo of david byrne, i am updating my email signatures accordingly, i am printing business cards,”"
28 July 2022 : “i like it when people post their miserable little takes so i know who i don't ever need to have a nice beer or mixed beverage with”"
28 July 2022 : “you're tweeting about lizzo being bad i am at the bar doing a shot with the perfectly nice and fun person you called cringe once”"
28 July 2022 : RT @sarahabtw : “@sarahabtw hello”"
28 July 2022 : “hello twitter dot com who's going to the zero dollars the beths show in prospect park tomorrow”"
29 July 2022 : “@two_standpoints searchin for my”"
29 July 2022 : “so sad i’m missing nice, the fest happening inches from the coffee shop where my manager i was in luv with tattooed her handwriting into my skin and then a bartender at the burren set me up with a zz top wannabe who threatened to kill me while wearing historically accurate armor”"
29 July 2022 : “@mossbinch this is the least scandalous version of this tweet i could write”"
29 July 2022 : “@BostonMassaker eric… godspeed”"
29 July 2022 : sometimes the ease you feel among friends you’re very comfortable with is cancelled out by needing to be on constan… https://t.co/H8v62FXSY4
29 July 2022 : RT @twinprincessltd : “@twinprincessltd i’m am losing my mind”"
29 July 2022 : RT @FranziaMom : “@FranziaMom i have follow-up questions about how many syllables he thinks are in his band’s name”"
29 July 2022 : “@BostonMassaker on the bus to the zero dollars the beths show as we tweet 😤”"
29 July 2022 : “i’m at the tote bag music show”"
29 July 2022 : “i have had one IPA please interpret my replies to your instant gram stories accordinglie”"
30 July 2022 : “my new year's resolution is mostly to be really annoying”"
30 July 2022 : “@walnutttt i need there to be a map of the boroughs and their neighborhoods divided into representative tote”"
30 July 2022 : “come to this Or Else”"
30 July 2022 : “@_juhmichael yes but it’s a gift in disguise because after consulting with experts (texting @chris_conqueso) i’m going to the palladium twy show instead 😇”"
30 July 2022 : “@BostonMassaker i already have fomo 😭”"
30 July 2022 : RT @getcerebral : “@getcerebral love you and thinking of you james also did you specifically request the minion socks or”"
30 July 2022 : RT @cheekfaceREAL : “@ws_moron @cheekfaceREAL also witnessed this and it was the same guy i saw in a bad moves shirt at a different show last weekend. brooklyn cryptid”"
30 July 2022 : RT @alisousa4 : “@alisousa4 why are you tweeting about st*rkid in 2022”"
30 July 2022 : RT @alisousa4 : “@alisousa4 i don’t know what that is ❤️”"
30 July 2022 : RT @cheekfaceREAL : “@cheekfaceREAL @ws_moron @PaulLazo wait lmao paul my man aren't you paul of PAUL WON A TV fame from that one jeff rosenstock show where paul won a tv. hello we're friends now”"
30 July 2022 : RT @megaytron : “@megaytron yeah”"
30 July 2022 : “every craig finn lyric has so many layers 2 it like a flaky pastry or perhaps a nice cake”"
30 July 2022 : “this is just a tweet about me working on my Certain Songs zine while eating a chocolate crossaint”"
30 July 2022 : “thinking about how bj novak's customer profile at the bookstore i used to work at just says "likes cashews"”"
31 July 2022 : RT @alisousa4 : “@alisousa4 laffin thinking about our cowboysonas' implied respective aesthetics”"
31 July 2022 : “invented a drink called Ranch Water 2”"
31 July 2022 : “@mirandareinert top o chico and blue curaçao and mezcal because the host’s roommate “isn’t a big tequila guy””"
31 July 2022 : “@mirandareinert exact ly”"
31 July 2022 : RT @ws_moron : “@ws_moron mike , lfg”"
31 July 2022 : “@mjchamplin yes”"
31 July 2022 : “all i have done this week is have negronis and work really hard to keep myself from saying “it’s negroni season””"
31 July 2022 : “welcome to photos i don’t remember taking last night”"
1 August 2022 : “honestly yeah”"
1 August 2022 : “i like cashews too but what separates us is that i actually got a discount at that bookstore and bj novak just asked for one”"
1 August 2022 : “i'm coming out of boston retirement”"
1 August 2022 : “already in town for the wonder years the day before, claudia morales back in the commonwealth tour 2022”"
2 August 2022 : “july 5x5, or: summer is for pop music and [redacted]”"
2 August 2022 : “@two_standpoints i'm a big fan, but it's less rough-around-the-edges than their earlier stuff — doesn't have teeth, but it feels like that's on purpose and a good, deliberate result of growth; would recommend”"
2 August 2022 : “my drafts are in their mid era”"
3 August 2022 : RT @leyarburns : “@leyarburns hell Yeah leya”"
3 August 2022 : RT @thenickguy : “@thenickguy extra toasty right”"
3 August 2022 : “ryan just called me “the preeminent CRJ scholar in the tri-state area” so i am sharpieing that onto all of my ceo of david byrne business cards”"
4 August 2022 : “just got an article of clothing tailored for the first time and it is a revelation”"
4 August 2022 : “i’m at the manhattan meet up of people who hate boston and love @twinprincessltd”"
4 August 2022 : “i am drunk and twisted”"
4 August 2022 : “you’re not allowed to hate boston (a city i love and hate) if you didn’t live there and that’s the law. acab”"
4 August 2022 : “so drunk and happy tonight i forgot leonard cohen was dead”"
4 August 2022 : “went to grab something from my purse i took to the bar last night and found a drink pourer in there”"
4 August 2022 : “i have to be wearing the most obnoxious dress at citi field for some reason”"
4 August 2022 : “i look like a clown. on purpose”"
5 August 2022 : “on this ……. the night of new pile”"
5 August 2022 : “the new carly rae jepsen is a banger AND mentions organ harvesting what more could i want”"
6 August 2022 : “realizing now that it looks bonkers for the crj single that came out today to be my top for the week but i had it on on a loop the whole walk home this morning because i simply could not tear myself away from "and i'm probably going to harvest your organs"”"
6 August 2022 : RT @mannequinpussy : “@mannequinpussy thank god”"
6 August 2022 : “@hateupton gun to my head i must admit i’m a plans girl but transatlanticism is unfuckwithable”"
6 August 2022 : “for someone who likes Most Music And Things and has the gift of no taste i really only trust recommendations from like four and a half people lmao”"
6 August 2022 : RT @HarvardBooks : “@HarvardBooks MICHAEL MICHAEL MICHAEL”"
6 August 2022 : “doctor said if i don't see oso oso soon i'll go into a coma”"
7 August 2022 : “the “you can’t trust j names” thing extends to the j train”"
7 August 2022 : “nothing more dangerous than a lightweight one ipa in at a bar faced with a touchtunes”"
7 August 2022 : “@two_standpoints specifically i am at a lesbian bar for my friend’s birthday so i’m like WHAT DO LESBIANS LIKE and i bought too many credits anyway i hope this bar is ready for crj followed by bruce springsteen followed by all too well ten minute version”"
7 August 2022 : “the straight boyfriends at marie’s crisis are unionizing”"
7 August 2022 : “engaging in pilgrimage (drunk and between bars and walking cornelia street while listening to cornelia street by taylor swift and feelin happy and feelin sad)”"
7 August 2022 : “i think i need to dance until 4am at least once a week for my health”"
7 August 2022 : “hihatrs”"
7 August 2022 : “i look like a swamp creature because it was 5:30am after the club and bushwick felt like a big wet sock to be in okay”"
7 August 2022 : RT @erinisaway : “@erinisaway 1) cutie 2) those shoes!!!”"
7 August 2022 : “remarkable how good a week i've had considering every moment of it has happened under the oppressive crush of i-want-to-die levels of humidity”"
8 August 2022 : “considering coming out of pit retirement this week”"
8 August 2022 : “real claudia heads will know i've been in involuntary pit retirement since the night i lost a nose ring in the pile show”"
9 August 2022 : “when peyton asked me to be on his Little Women podcast i made sure he knew i had never ever read or watched so much as a word of Little Women and he still let me go on his podcast to ramble about it :-)”"
9 August 2022 : “@echovessel 💗 same to you, friend, i love ya, let's go meys baby love da meys”"
9 August 2022 : “hot girls get really sad in hot weather because it's like dividing by zero”"
9 August 2022 : “this is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me”"
10 August 2022 : “@walnutttt this makes me SO happy omg thank you!!!”"
10 August 2022 : “if i tell u i'm "just resting my eyes for a moment" i am seconds from slipping into a coma”"
10 August 2022 : “me and who”"
10 August 2022 : “really rooting for this rage against the machine madison square garden meet cute”"
11 August 2022 : “thinking about how in a boston past life i had to listen to an ex regularly calling new york "a monument to man's arrogance" and only a year later at a netflix and chill™️ realized he stole that from peggy hill”"
11 August 2022 : “yes i check missed connections. let me have dreams”"
11 August 2022 : RT @certaintragedy : “@certaintragedy WHAT. NO”"
11 August 2022 : “i can’t tell if my shirt is see-through or not but i am already on my walk to the venue so everyone keep the answer to yourselves”"
11 August 2022 : RT @blakeisblake : “@blakeisblake :-/”"
11 August 2022 : RT @gwondleabout : “@gwondleabout hell yeah congrats good luck welcome to the club safe travelz and etc”"
11 August 2022 : “doing my "i will get to the gig" affirmations”"
12 August 2022 : “looking at my medical record and my primary has me listed as "from boston" what The fuck”"
12 August 2022 : RT @twinprincessltd : “@twinprincessltd yeah”"
12 August 2022 : “i love bringing my friends to the turtle bar so i can watch my friends look at the turtles”"
12 August 2022 : “chris just learned the bartender is someone his friend from boston has photographed and then i immediately ran into someone i haven’t seen since middle school in miami i LOVE new yORK”"
12 August 2022 : “you want to give me your extra joyce manor ticket you want to give me your extra joyce manor ticket sooo bad 🌀”"
12 August 2022 : “one thing about me is that if a song comes on that i listen to in the shower i will say to you "i listen to this song in the shower"”"
12 August 2022 : “tonight at the gig i will get to yell along to one of my shower songs while getting really sweaty and therefore needing a shower. that's just the circle of life”"
12 August 2022 : RT @megathornberry : “@megathornberry i saw my first one the other day when it LANDED ON MY FOOT”"
12 August 2022 : RT @casseroleboy : “@casseroleboy hell YEAH levi, congrats!!”"
13 August 2022 : “selfie draftie”"
13 August 2022 : RT @cpayneonaplane : “@cpayneonaplane i'm goin!”"
13 August 2022 : “@mossbinch impossibly small impossibly cute !”"
13 August 2022 : “i know i have exactly one set’s worth of pit time in me so i’m watching the opening sets’ pit from the balcony shedding a single tear like a parent at field day”"
13 August 2022 : “never minD”"
13 August 2022 : “il think i for real sprained my ankle or foot crowdsurfing to Constant Headache at the @JoyceManor show. and i would do it again”"
13 August 2022 : “i’m watching the rest of the set sitting on the floor of the VIP section crying in part because of the pain and in pet because of being a sentimental bitch. joyce manor forever”"
13 August 2022 : “he also referred to people not wearing socks (not me) as “rawdogging their shoes””"
13 August 2022 : “@tddvsss i’m the only person who was nursing a newly sprained ankle in the joyce manor vip section”"
13 August 2022 : RT @_juhmichael : “@_juhmichael avenge me by not spraining your ankle while crowdsurfing to constant headache”"
13 August 2022 : “on one hand i can't walk on the other it rules to be alive”"
13 August 2022 : “where do i get crutches. lol”"
13 August 2022 : RT @BostonMassaker : “@BostonMassaker deeply jealous”"
14 August 2022 : “for those invested in my dumb crowdsurfing injury i have crutches now”"
14 August 2022 : “@PaulLazo thank u please tell me about your recovery process so i know that there is a way out of this lmao”"
14 August 2022 : “@PaulLazo based on your experience what are the chances i'll be able to go to a non-rowdy show by friday”"
14 August 2022 : RT @_juhmichael : “@_juhmichael i agree”"
14 August 2022 : “@casseroleboy i already owe them my life”"
14 August 2022 : “it’s gonna be sooo funny if my foot is actually broken”"
14 August 2022 : “why’d they put my croc in a biohazard bag”"
15 August 2022 : RT @er0b : “@er0b 🤝”"
16 August 2022 : “what should i read while i'm busy not being able to walk for many weeks”"
16 August 2022 : “if you've had a grade ii/iii ankle sprain or a fracture that was missed in early x-rays talk 2 me because i'm going insane”"
17 August 2022 : RT @_juhmichael : “@_juhmichael devastating”"
17 August 2022 : “every time i have to explain to someone "i can't walk and might not be able to for a long time because i made a split-second decision to crowdsurf" they respond with something to the effect of "that is the most claudia way to get injured" and i get it”"
17 August 2022 : “i'm gonna get so good at crutches you're going to be so scared”"
17 August 2022 : “@hateupton that's me”"
17 August 2022 : “if you've ever been like "man i'd love to buy claudia morales from online a meal," a common thought many people have, now, the time where i am on crutches and cannot cook, is a great opportunity to venmo or cashapp mostlyclaudia”"
18 August 2022 : “yes this is an apology tweet if i owe you a text stay in line”"
18 August 2022 : “i spent all of my discretionary money on things like "ankle brace" and "shower chair"”"
18 August 2022 : “due to my injury my close friends social media spaces are entering their free feet pics era”"
18 August 2022 : “this tweet brought to you by bereal catching me with a bag of peas on my useless ankle”"
18 August 2022 : “i'm gonna use this less until i can walk again because it makes me sad but if we're mutuals like this tweet n i'll give you my alt maybe and if i don't it's nothin personal :~)”"
19 August 2022 : RT @itfeelslikegold : “@itfeelslikegold i feel seen”"
19 August 2022 : “you should be able to gopuff a two-to-four-week coma”"
19 August 2022 : “looked up from a crying fit on my bed only for my gaze to land on the "new york made joan didion cry too" sticker on my wall like okay damn joan not so loud”"
20 August 2022 : “@hangrywendigo crushes are just a scam i run to put my friends' music on the playlists i make for them”"
20 August 2022 : RT @CLAUDIAPOSTING: @hangrywendigo crushes are just a scam i run to put my friends' music on the playlists i make for them
20 August 2022 : “when a crush lends you a book it's like homework but hot”"
20 August 2022 : “if you have any reason to be mad at me just think about how currently i am using a backpack to carry things around my apartment while i'm on crutches. dora the explorer but on crutches. could you be mad at crutches dora”"
21 August 2022 : “i look very tired in this and it is bc i stayed up too late on the phone with david trying to explain niche death cab chronology while he said shit like “that song called ‘two brothers and they’re at a hotel and they’re laying next to each other. will they kiss? who knows.’””"
22 August 2022 : RT @FranziaMom : “@FranziaMom this is the mary oliver version of that "hey what's that mountain goats song that mentions cows exclusively in the second verse" tiktok https://t.co/rw2bVHVzjm”"
22 August 2022 : RT @Driftwould2 : “@Driftwould2 that's the last place i saw them! probably missing the brooklyn date because of my ankle so have extra fun for me”"
22 August 2022 : “Missing the Los Campesinos! Show Because I Injured Myself Crowdsurfing sounds like an aughts-era Los Campesinos! song title”"
22 August 2022 : “sorry i am still ankleposting this is just in the top ten of funniest things that have ever happened to me”"
22 August 2022 : RT @Diacritic : “@Diacritic what in the entire fuck”"
22 August 2022 : RT @FranziaMom : “@FranziaMom @funnbacon off the back of Good Luck, another sick and earnest post-plan-it-x bloomington project featuring ginger alford: https://t.co/1NM1LIdSmf”"
22 August 2022 : “i would be so money bags successful if i put as much effort into anything lucrative as i put into sequencing playlists”"
23 August 2022 : “little-known lifehack: every text is a risky text if you have enough anxiety”"
23 August 2022 : “h.a.g.s. stands for have a gansett summer”"
23 August 2022 : “a lot going on here”"
23 August 2022 : “opened the files for a project and in the list of people to thank it's all people's names and then a bullet that just says "croak check" what the FUCK does that mean”"
23 August 2022 : “what the fuck is up youtube i managed to walk a few feeble steps for the first time in twelve days”"
23 August 2022 : “slow and limping and with the help of crutches (more to soothe my fear of falling than to help bear weight) and through pain, but i walked to the fridge and back. bitch”"
24 August 2022 : “i love that los campesinos song we are beautiful we are doomscrolling”"
24 August 2022 : RT @sarahabtw : “@sarahabtw MOUNTAIN GOATS MATCH CLUB 🤝💖”"
24 August 2022 : “drafts + a selfie i forgot i took just before my Severe Crowdsurfing Injury”"
24 August 2022 : “thirteen days into Crowdsurfing Injury and one day into “holy shit i can actually limp around a little” i am finally juuust mobile enough that i am considering going to the @LosCampesinos show tonight on crutches and i am putting this on here to invite peer pressure”"
24 August 2022 : “yes abolish all student debt but also lmao if you’re tweeting bitterly about how you didn’t qualify for pell grants i’m going to laugh at you”"
24 August 2022 : RT @bugposting : “@bugposting congratulations on joining the boston 2 brooklyn pipeline, it's good here”"
24 August 2022 : “my mom's sister in honduras was sent a test kit to see if she'd be a good donor for her upcoming bone marrow transplant and we just found out she's!!! a 100% match”"
24 August 2022 : “i've been meaning to update the gofundme for ages but those donations have been truly lifesaving for my mom on so many levels and anything you can chip in helps enormously: https://t.co/e8ptgIgbqh”"
25 August 2022 : “i don't post or, mostly, talk about my mom's ongoing fight against leukemia because, frankly, it's scary and exhausting on a good day even before you factor in the context of estrangement and strain but the looming transplant has been particularly terrifying and this is. huge”"
25 August 2022 : RT @nckptmn : “@nckptmn you'll be able to spot me fastest because of the crutches : - )”"
25 August 2022 : “this has to be the year i finally see the hold steady live or i am filing a lawsuit against god”"
25 August 2022 : RT @parshally_there : “@parshally_there either way 1) hell yeah 2) fingers crossed you get to shoot mcr !!!”"
25 August 2022 : RT @LongNeckLass : “@LongNeckLass i wish i had been more articulate but it was extremely My First Human Interaction After Weeks Of Sprained Ankle House Arrest and i didn’t wanna take up too much time — that album (and those before it!) is a triumph and means a lot to me❣️”"
25 August 2022 : “spirit desire is emo's this must be the place”"
26 August 2022 : “besotted is such a good word. no notes”"
26 August 2022 : “whatever conclusions you draw from this you are right”"
26 August 2022 : “every show i'm most looking forward to is in october. someone should make a song about wanting to sleep right through september”"
26 August 2022 : “@alsofab tapmusic usually !”"
28 August 2022 : RT @laurenfairwx : “@laurenfairwx AAAAAHHHHH SO GOOD”"
29 August 2022 : “i have been listening to the same song over and over again since i woke up which usually means i'm either having a complete mental breakdown or writing again and unfortunately it is the latter”"
29 August 2022 : “laughing thinking about how the next time i'm in the pit i will probably be wearing an ankle brace”"
29 August 2022 : “bought one "for athletes" lmfao yeah right. this is for dumbass activities only”"
29 August 2022 : “i haven't had a miller high life in public in weeks my crops are dying”"
29 August 2022 : “in 2019 i had nothing to lose”"
29 August 2022 : RT @_HaleyAlexandra : “@_HaleyAlexandra LITERALLY”"
29 August 2022 : RT @HexPositive : “@HexPositive fun-Some-Nights-ass cover”"
29 August 2022 : “was inflicting the line "i want your midnights" on me not enough”"
29 August 2022 : “somehow i casted a spell this night”"
29 August 2022 : RT @echovessel : “@echovessel delete this”"
29 August 2022 : RT @taylorswift13 : “@taylorswift13 leave me alone”"
29 August 2022 : “@TixDog oh my GOD”"
30 August 2022 : RT @casseroleboy : “@casseroleboy lmao this is such a good pull”"
30 August 2022 : RT @mikaeladraws : “@mikaeladraws i would love one!”"
30 August 2022 : @mikaeladraws done! thank you!
30 August 2022 : “writing rules but it especially rules when it used to be your whole identity ever since you were a precocious little ESL kid and then you stopped being able to do it for six years and then out of nowhere you can again”"
30 August 2022 : “as i try to figure out how to dance w crutches ahead of the @mountain_goats tonight i am reflecting on the fact that i am in this predicament because i got too attached to the "do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive" ethos and crowdsurfed my way to significant injury”"
30 August 2022 : “i still don't know if i'm going or not but if you see me please tell me i still look hot in my big dumb walking boot”"
30 August 2022 : “missing the mountain goats show because i was too busy laying on the floor listening to going to port washington”"
30 August 2022 : “look i'm really, genuinely pumped for beat the champ but. when is @mountain_goats coming out w/ an album about one direction?”"
31 August 2022 : RT @hateupton : “@hateupton lmaoooooo”"
31 August 2022 : “they’re playing A.M. 180 as house music before the mountain goats set let’s fuckin gooooooo”"
31 August 2022 : “the mountain goats”"
31 August 2022 : “@ws_moron the mountain goats”"
31 August 2022 : “for clarity i Did Not crowdsurf at the mountain goats show”"
31 August 2022 : “something about new arctic monkeys and new gorillaz in the same week as taylor's extremely 2011 album cover reveal feels cosmically sinister but in a good way”"
31 August 2022 : “me going down a jm rabbit hole after The Injury is like a hair of the dog situation”"
31 August 2022 : “one of my most punisher behaviors is my commitment to only the loudest mechanical keyboard switches”"
31 August 2022 : RT @laynemontgomery : “@laynemontgomery oh my god”"
31 August 2022 : “@megathornberry once again i am here to thank you for not murdering me in my sleep”"
31 August 2022 : “i went to share a tweet in the group chat but they're doing advanced math formulas in there”"
31 August 2022 : “trying to comfort myself about probably missing the mountain goats tonight by telling myself “we have ‘reliving your trauma’ at home””"
31 August 2022 : “if you put both my main and my alt in your twitter circle you are going in my will”"
31 August 2022 : “@sylvyfernandez i'm still using my chelsea boots from their restaurant worker line i bought when i was a server and they're super comfy! never owned the normal ones though so idk about those”"
31 August 2022 : RT @ppensivee : “@blakeisblake ohhhh my goddddddddd”"
1 September 2022 : “august”"
1 September 2022 : “if it doesn't click clack take that shit back”"
1 September 2022 : “@dernavrc i trusted you”"
1 September 2022 : “i think i'm about to go on another david berman bender but not in a cry for help way this time”"
1 September 2022 : “@borissentme exact song that prompted this tweet and i 100% cosign that”"
1 September 2022 : “despite responsibly staying home from mountain goats night two because going to night one fucked up my ankle, my whole foot is swollen again due to: dancing around to bad bunny”"
1 September 2022 : “being that i can't even walk right, i'm using "dancing" very generously here, but still, the point is, i'm a dumbass”"
1 September 2022 : “i’m allowed to hate summer due to i’m from florida”"
1 September 2022 : RT @alisousa4 : “@alisousa4 god is good every day every day god is good”"
1 September 2022 : RT @casseroleboy : “@casseroleboy lfg”"
2 September 2022 : “@mossbinch omg stop”"
2 September 2022 : “@valenceoctet i'm omw”"
2 September 2022 : “i meant high school. where is the edit button they're testing”"
3 September 2022 : “you ever eat a taki just to feel alive”"
3 September 2022 : “and what about it”"
3 September 2022 : “@AlexHersh you're right and you should say it”"
3 September 2022 : “@thenicolebridge THE WORST i am praying for u”"
3 September 2022 : “as we turn the corner into fall i would like to remind you that it is absolutely the fuck on sight for candy corn slanderers”"
3 September 2022 : RT @dimwizzy : “@dimwizzy she’s right and she should say it”"
3 September 2022 : “@ManekaDevin on. sight.”"
3 September 2022 : “@JessRiz holy shi t”"
4 September 2022 : “@FistineChapel ugh i hope you feel better so soon laura!!!”"
4 September 2022 : RT @Birdplayart : “@Birdplayart i remember dunx pumpkin syrup tasting kind of like a candle; my favorite is starbucks pumpkin cream cold brew”"
4 September 2022 : “@madeline_starr i can't believe both and julian would do this reply to me”"
4 September 2022 : RT @HappyJust2SeeU : “@HappyJust2SeeU 👀”"
4 September 2022 : “starting a notes app note titled "will and testament" containing only "at funeral play bagpipe rendition of party hard by andrew wk"”"
5 September 2022 : “ten thousand of my friends are at the mountain goats baltimore show and john darnielle played Solidarity Forever and i wasn't there to see it do NOT text”"
5 September 2022 : “some of you i refer to in conversation as "my hot friend" because that is the truth about you”"
5 September 2022 : “@TonksNtheAurors predictably this sprung out of being nostalgic for our trip there”"
6 September 2022 : “@JessRiz it's because one of the owner hated how weird and gay the staff was / that we had personalities and treated regulars like people / used the pandemic to ghost the entire staff and threaten to sue us for making a tip jar gofundme”"
6 September 2022 : RT @frond_wbenefits : “@frond_wbenefits :( sorry but also ? all of my friends shpould move to the northeast”"
6 September 2022 : RT @frond_wbenefits : “@madeline_starr @frond_wbenefits exactly”"
7 September 2022 : “rest in peace claudia died of bangs got too long”"
7 September 2022 : “@mossbinch @JessRiz i was in luv with the gm who was one of the owner's least favorite/most controversial people (because she acted like a human and treated her employees like a human) anyway one night after a shift we got our handwritings tattooed on each other in the basement long live diesel”"
7 September 2022 : RT @valerie2776 : “@valerie2776 finally, some Respect”"
7 September 2022 : “i always forget about big day coming [second version] because it's just too good and goes too hard for my brain to carry around in there”"
7 September 2022 : “the "after labor day" rule that matters isn't the one about wearing white it's the one about how legally and morally and spiritually it is only now you're allowed to listen to boys of summer”"
7 September 2022 : “i think i'm gonna start a replay of majora's mask which is how you know i'm really going through it”"
8 September 2022 : “good evening. my sugar ray shirt has a hole in it”"
8 September 2022 : “@mjchamplin sugar ray”"
8 September 2022 : RT @recentbedroom : “@recentbedroom somehow your los campesinos pilgrimage set this in motion”"
8 September 2022 : RT @nckptmn : “@nckptmn 🫡🫡🫡”"
8 September 2022 : “is this what swifties meant when they said taylor had an announcement planned for today”"
8 September 2022 : “@sweatylamarr this is what her london arc has been about all along”"
8 September 2022 : RT @spiritnght2 : “@spiritnght2 all week i have been doing takis self harm”"
9 September 2022 : @megathornberry i keep meaning to tell chrys i'm obsessed with their converse!!! also you need these because i need… https://t.co/ISXmViWYd2
13 September 2022 : if you can't post anything mildly enthusiastic or even just not mean without preceding it with "sorry i'm about to… https://t.co/xyX6o0BOEt
21 September 2022 : commit to the fit
6 October 2022 : and yet — no reason for them not to
7 October 2022 : i’m not allowed to be in public anymore
14 October 2022 : RT @CLAUDIAPOSTING: are my friends trying to gaslight me into thinking i’m hot
23 November 2022 : “2 broke 4 mickey ears”"
23 November 2022 : “2 broke 4 mickey ears”"